Warning:
This post is not suitable for
the faint hearted
devout Christians
or small children
So, for the other two reader of my blog - settle down and enjoy!...
***
Regular readers will be aware of the on-going saga of our "difference of opinion on the god issue" with our son's Catholic, state school - namely they believe, yet state that it's all very benign, meanwhile I sit and stew about my innocent child being brainwashed by a dogma to which we as a family most definitely do NOT subscribe.One week before the annual Parent Teacher meeting, I happened to have a conversation with my son about saying what you felt, saying "you need to say what's important to you, because people can't read your mind."
"But god can" - he retorts, quick as a flash.
"Where did you hear that?" - I demand - knowing the reply before it comes
"Teacher said"
Cue fuming mama, planning careful speeches to approach teacher with one week hence.
The day of reckoning arrives. We talk reading books and my son's general lack of interest in the inane reading matter he is sent home with. She is suprised to hear that a child isn't riveted by it.
We talk reading ages and maths skills. I brace myself to bring up the dreaded subject. She gets there first.
The colour drains from her face, her voice goes quiet and slightly shaky. "There's just one other thing I need to talk to you about. There have been complaints..."
My mind races. Complaints about my dear, gentle, sweet boy?
"From some other parents. He's been upsetting the other children, going around telling them that it's not true... we thought maybe he was getting it from home..."
"No", I stammer, earnest in my need to please, "we believe, we're making sure he believes too, though I've overheard him rationalising the improbabilities of it..."
"That's OK so, because it's really important that they all believe...
In Santa!"
For flips sake! I daren't mention to her that in circles that I hang out in on the blogosphere that Santa is "bad". It might have given her a heart attack. He might have been kicked out of the school. It seems they can tolerate non-belivers in the god thing, just. But not Santa. That'd be a weirdness too far.
So I brought up the god thing. Tit for tat! She was understanding - said the priest had hotfooted it of the classroom the other day when the children started bombarding him with questions about what happens when we die.
Belief - a thorny issue. Adults are weird, it has to be said. But as long as we all believe in Santa then it's all OK!
Postscript: We took him to see Arthur Christmas this weekend just to ensure a thorough indoctrination!
i'm one of the two, and i find this thoroughly hilarious and send you a hug and a big sympathetic eye roll. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks mb - was beginning to think I'd lost every one of my readers with this one!
ReplyDeleteI am none of the above, and definitely not offended. Laughing I am though, loudly, haha.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to admit, I am a believer (what am I risking here?). In Sinterklaas, that is. I have just been baking and cooking all week to recreate the magic of this distinguished dutch bishop in England. It is all soooo good, the whole house smells like bishops-wine (like mulled wine but better) and speculaas. Oh, speculaas. I bet you, if you'd have a taste you'd believe too! (recipe on my blog). The stuff is magic.
i can't decide whether it's hilarious or creepy!
ReplyDeleteBoth Mon - I couldn't BELIEVE how serious she was about the whole thing!!
ReplyDeleteHi Lucy that is so funny and in a slightly connected way i have been fuming about this for years. It completely bugs me that at any time of the day you could turn on radio/tv or see on front of newspaper horrific totally child inapproriate headlines or discussions on rape, murder, pedophilia, child abuse, tsunamis... Yet nobody would ever, on any of these media, dare risk exposing the truth about Santa. It is crazy! I actually don't want my kids to inadvertently see/hear anything about Santa myth either but in the grander scheme of things which is ultimately more damaging to their psyche??
ReplyDeleteHi lucy i am molly btw. X meadhbh
ReplyDeleteYeah, I believe in Santa. It keeps my faith that everything is going to be alright at the end.
ReplyDeleteHaving faith in God is not a bad thing. Believing some invisible energy that has great power over us is not really bad idea. It makes you strong.
ReplyDelete