Joy Pockets

My pockets of joy from the week...

Printing possible covers for The Rainbow Way

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Daffodils and an afternoon snow flurry - the wonder of March.

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Adventures with our kiddies - visiting their grandparents in different countries.

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Anticipating foil wrapped easter eggs nestled in the garden.

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The Rainbow Way out for testimonials with heroines... and some very positive first comments.

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 A blog post that went nuclear - it got nealy 3000 page views in 4 days, and has helped over 30 families that I know of!

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Three generations making art together.

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Receiving my book contribution from Pam England of Birthing from Within.

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The Taste of Cherry Blossom (the title of  a piece of my food writing which has been accepted for the next BlogHer book, Roots, which is all about food and our connections to it.)

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Reading great books - Many Lives, Many Masters and Daring Greatly

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Pork pie with cheese and pickle.

Please do share yours below.

Joy Pockets

It's Friday, it's Joy Pockets - haven't done them for ages! Apologies for it being so quiet round here on the writing front, I have been up to my eyes editing The Rainbow Way. It's nearly, nearly done, my part of it, any way, before I send it to the publishers at the end of April. I'm hoping to get it out for testimonials before I go away next week - eek! It's going out to a LOT of my heroines. Fingers crossed for me!

Freshly baked ginger cake for breakfast (get my recipe here!)

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 Looking forward to our all-girl adventure on an airplane - Meli's first time - we're off to see Granny!!

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Spring flowers

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Easter holidays

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A warm house on a stormy day

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The Dance of the Dissident Daughter (anyone here read it?)

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That my daughter wants to be an artist when she grows up

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Nearly finished the biggest writing project I've ever done

What are your gratitudes this week?

Joy Pockets

Little pockets of gratitude in the midst of mundanity...

Birthing a dream- The Creative Rainbow Mama's Soul Book

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A tantrum free day

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Walking home on a crisp, clear, starry winter night

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So many women friends who touch my soul daily

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Wondering if she's pregnant

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A baby giraffe, only a couple of weeks old, beholding us with eyes of innocence

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Fondant fancies - the taste of childhood treats

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The revelationary moment of divine blessing when underlying blueprint for The Rainbow Way appeared as if by magic - it had been right there under my nose all the time - durgh!!!

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What are you grateful for this week -  do share your joy pockets below!

Looking back… looking forward…

And so as the turn of the year approaches I look back over the year that was. In total amazement for the year that was. And give thanks.

First things first, I survived the end of the world. And if you are reading this, then you did too. Hurray for us! Mojitos all round, I say!

I nominated this my year of abundant rainbows. And it sure was. I made a sacred vow to myself out loud on this blog that this would be the year I let myself do my thing out loud - sing, dance, paint and generally be me, and mama I did. Mission accomplished!

2012 in brief...

Publishing contracts: 1

Books published: 2 

Books written: 4

Paintings done: Over 50

Journals filled: 4

Blogging courses taught: 3

Blog posts written: 173- over 4 blogs!

Most popular blog post of 2012 - Our Cupboards are Full but there's nothing to Eat - absolutely NO idea why this is so popular - it has had just shy of 3000 pageviews in 11 months!

My favourite blog post of 2012 on Dreaming Aloud - weirdly - Almost

My favourite blog post elsewhere - my December one on Tiny Buddha: Overcoming Anxiety: Moving from Fear to Presence

My 12 transformational teachers of 2012

Nights away by myself: 2

Trips to the UK: 2. 

Not to mention a painting exhibition, and my first full year in business as a professional creative rainbow mama! 

It also brought us a near fatal accident. Lots of anxiety. Lots of illness for us all. But we're all still here, coughing and spluttering to greet a new year. And for that I am beyond grateful.

I have spent the past month taking stock of the year - creatively, to do with life goals, emotionally and for my business. I tried Susannah Conway's free 2013 life planner, which was good, but not nearly so good as Leonie's Life planner, which I got last year and adored using, and her brand new Business Planner which has transformed my intentions and plans for the year ahead (from "I'm not sure I can face another year in business, working all the hours and not making that much" to "whoopee, I am SO excited about next year... and I know how I can triple my income,whilst spending more time doing the bits of my work that I love". It is nothing short of transformational - and fun to do - it comes highly, highly recommended!

One of my resolutions for 2013, is to programme in retreat time. So this year I found myself driving the same road that I did a year ago. The same highway to the wilds of West Cork. The same exodus from family life. The same need for reflection and creative dreamtime.

But rather than the desperation that came with last year’s escape, instead I had this retreat booked in, a day and night, put in the calendar, made sacred with intention, the space held for me! I went to a women's full moon circle, with a dear friend, one that I wasn't leading and so got to retreat, be nourished, reflect and create. And it was perfect.

I am making sure to book them in throughout the year. Which is getting easier as the kiddies get older, and I am no longer breastfeeding. My next date booked is 6th January meeting the Wild Women of Cork for drumming, dance and henna. I can't wait!

And my word for this year. Very simple. But very challenging: Trust. It came to me as I was wondering if I should sign my publishing contract. So that's it. Trust.

and my big plans for the year? Well, you'll just have to wait and see!

What's your word for the year? What resources have you found helpful in reflecting on 2012, and visioning 2013? What are your hopes and dreams and plans for yourself? Do share them below! Speaking them aloud helps to clarify and materialise them!

Joy Pockets

Surviving the end of the world!

New orange tights.

Receiving a scholarship to the Cosmic Cowgirls University. I kid you not!

Looking forward to a special full moon women's circle.

A fridge full of Christmas sustenance, thanks to Mr DA.

Feeling like a nice mama again (willing the bug my son has to disappear without knocking the whole family out).

Looking forward to seeing soul sisters.

A morning of Christmas cooking with carols a-blaring!

Mr DA doing the kiddie night shift = sleep for mama!

Fresh cranberry, orange and white choc cookies, my festive treat!

Doing art and piano with Meli, having found my favourite childhood piano book.

Our wonderful doctor. What a beautiful soul he is.

Curling up in front of a movie in the afternoon with my kiddies.

Leonie's wonderful business planner.

3 sleeps till Christmas!!!!!!! Merry Christmas one and all.

Joy pockets

Little pockets of gratitude in the midst of living... 

Feeling like me for pretty much the first time in a month.

More exciting women on board with The Rainbow Way book

Painting again!

Walking through a winter wonderland on my way to work

Meals with my dada, love that we are both writing books!

Baking chocolate butterfly cakes with Ash

Watching Materchef en famille, with Mr DA's superb Greg impressions, that Timmy says sound like Burglar Bill!

Erin Darcy, for giving me so many great leads on contacts for my book and for generally being an inspiration

Letting rip, in writing, to the teacher about the amounts of homework, take it to the man. Lucy!

Christmas month tomorrow!

Freshly squeezed orange and pink grapefruit juice

My son trying to get the whole school to do a Gangnam Style flash mob, chip off the old block!

Another post accepted for Tiny Buddha, am very pleased with it!

Joy Pockets

My little pockets of gratitude in the midst of this week...

Goddess Leonie agreeing to write the Forward for my book on creative mamas (The Rainbow Way).

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So many of you sharing your thoughts on my provocative art journalling post! Thank you.

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Yellow leaves on the road.

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A note to the tooth fairy: "My tooth fell out but it's in my tummy."

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Discovering a Zumba class 5 mins down the road, which I'll be going to after Xmas.

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Women and men, at home and abroad rallying round and taking action in response to the needless death of Savita. We stand united in our grief and anger at this senseless loss. We are calling on our government in one voice to make legislative changes to give women the right to life.

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Spiced pear butter cake

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Being a budding WordPress tech genius (in my own little way!!)

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Interviewing two of my heroines for The Rainbow Way - Jen Louden and Julie Daley.

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Blogging with Darina Allen - a living legend.

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Cycling to work.

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Reading through the current draft of The Rainbow Way - it's really getting there!

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Little Ash doing gang nam style by herself.

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Please do share your Joy Pockets below, or link up your post. 

Joy pockets

My pockets of joy in the midst of mundanity this week...

Jennifer Louden, Julie Daley, Indigo Bacal and Ariel Gore signed up to contribute to my next book, The Rainbow Way, - all complete heroines of mine!

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Bonfire night sparklers and stories by candlelight

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My boy going off with his school on a big bus to watch the older girls team in a football final

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Antibiotics

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Our whole family doing the Gangnam style dance - such fun! 

(Don't know what it is? Then check out the original video!!)

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My friend Laura - she's just so special... check out her blog and see why

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This exchange:

Ash, in a fierce mad two year old singing voice: "My am a gummy bear...and my blow your house down!"

Timmy "Mum, I don't have any more mayonnaise."

Ash, in 'grown up, auntie Ash' mode:" Yes you do, sweetheart, it's there!"

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Colouring mandalas with my Meli girl

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Watching George of the Jungle with the kids and hearing them warn him every time he's about to crash into a tree

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A wonderful five-year-old's birthday party, like proper parties should be!

What are yours this week? Please do share them below and come by to Holistic Mama to link up.

Sweeter with you

In between the drama of almost, and the saga of Merrily starting school, we had the most wonderful family holiday in the UK - sunshine, picnics in the park, full days at the playground, ice creams and water play, pond dipping, seeing loved ones, a festival with community singing, puppet shows, a juggler and fire circles, and the highlight for us all - a ride on a real steam train.

And all the time as I watched Aisling swing and laugh and run and play (oh how bright she is, how quickly she is developing) the sentiments of this poem ran through my head... so I wrote it down. And wanted to share it with you all - all who sent a text, a message, an email, a card, a present, left a comment, for each of you who have asked since how she is doing, how we are doing: this is how it is...

For Aisling, three weeks on from almost...

Your face has healed.
Not a mark or a sign.
And my hands no longer shake.

And so we had a break
Away.
As a family.
Complete.

And you know my love,
It was sweeter with you.

As we watched you dart around the ferry,
And took you out on deck again and again
Being careful not to
Hold you too close,
So you could feel the sway beneath your own feet,
The wind in your hair.

It was sweeter with you.

As we played in the park,
And camped in the rain.
Watched puppet shows,
And rode the choo-choo train,

It was sweeter with you,
My love,
So much sweeter with you.

With your bouncy curls,
And your cheeky grin,
You beautiful girl,
With your big brown eyes and your
Funny words.

It is sweeter with you,
My love,
So much sweeter with you.

You are the heart of our family
The almost, not quite.
Again and again,
Like a will-o-the-whisp.
You have chosen to stay.

So different in stature, persona and hair,
To your two elder siblings,
Who love you,
We love you, and granny does too,
And granma and grandad,
Just because you are you.
Your very own person,
Even though you're just two.

It is sweeter with you,
My love,
So much sweeter with you.

The kiss of death

The kiss of death
Lingers on my heart
I did not see it coming
Nor invite it in.
Few of us do.
But it is there, indelible,
And to my surprise its message is...
Dance whilst you can
Not because you should or you ought
But because the song in your heart
The rhythm of your life
Is calling you
Because you have the heartbeat of your loved one as your rhythm
Their hand in yours to hold
In this dance we call life
Right here and now.

And when death comes calling
The only true thing
Is here and now.
Did I love fully? Am I loved?
Are we here for each other?
And this moment of togetherness is all that counts, truly.

As we hold each other tight in love's embrace
Let us hear our tunes and dance them out.
Whilst we have this time together
Let us dance!
With the sun shining on our heads,
The moon lighting our backs,
The grass beneath our feet,
For we never know when the music will stop
In this cosmic game of musical statues.
I know now,
As all who have felt the kiss of death know too,
That it is also
The kiss of life
A life more precious, deeper, darker, more perfectly ordered yet random
Than any of us dare believe.

Almost

We almost lost our daughter last week.

This is what keeps going through my head as I hold her little, warm body close. Grateful, so grateful for her continuing presence. For the miracle that was. Today and yesterday almost weren't. I am emotionally and physically shaken to my core. As are the whole family. We are now all too aware of the invisible line between normality and tragedy. I am deeply awake to my mother self once more, to the primal biology of the fact that my children are now and always will be, flesh of my flesh. A fact that can be dulled by the daily drudgery of mothering, the complacency regarding the blessings that my children are to me, to us all.

Last Thursday our youngest, a dainty two and a half year old ringletted rascal of a girl fell out of her upstairs bedroom window onto the concrete path below. I got the call at work from a dear friend who was having coffee at our house with my husband. "She's bleeding out of her mouth and nose, but she's crying.I'll come and get you."

I put down the phone and started to run home, hands held in prayer, praying, praying.

The path had a pool of blood. And there in the kitchen, my baby, so small and battered and bloody in her daddy's arms. Crying for me.

I held her. And held her. At home. In the emergency room. all night in the narrow hospital bed. The next day and night. I held her and breathed my prayers. Knowing how close we came to never being able to hold her again. Holding another mothers story in my heart of a daughter who fell from a tree and didn't make it. Showing her little videos of her and her siblings playing on the I phone knowing that they might have been our last memory. I held her as she slept and slept, knowing that the child who emerged from this tragedy might not be the same one as before. My family have been through the trauma of severe brain injury with my cousin only two years ago. And she was so much smaller. Falling onto concrete. Without a helmet.

They did test after test. Woke her every hour. And beyond possibility there is no sign of internal injury anywhere. No brain damage. No broken bones. No teeth gone. Just a huge black eye and chin. A swollen face. A large infected cut in her mouth and round her teeth. Nowhere that will visibly scar. And no emotional trauma for her.

I feel sick each time we go down our road. Each cookie cutter house with the same two upstairs windows. The same concrete path. And I know, though it sounds too corny to be true, that the only way she survived that fall is that she was cushioned by angels wings. And we have been surrounded by them too in the form of friends and family, in our days of recovery since, as we help heal her body and our parent souls, from the nightmare of almost.

When it all goes right

This past few days has been so extraordinarily wonderful, that I feel called to do a mid week, extended joy pockets, to give up my gratitude to the universe.

But first, a disclaimer. What I am about to say, as far as the gods of retribution and cosmic playfulness are concerned, is not true. None of it. Ye gods who snigger into your beards as you hear mere mortals confidently tell their friends that their child is sleeping through the night/ not tantruming any more... or in my case... weaned!

Yes, (I'll whisper very quietly). I think we're done. After 8 months of on again off again wanting to be finished breastfeeding. My lactational career has come to a close.  We are both as ready as we can be. And it's been reasonably fine.(AWFUL, HIDEOUS - ye gods - do you hear me ?!)  

So on Saturday night, when the older kiddies were having a sleep over at the grandparents, I got my first full night's sleep in months. Oh my goodness I felt human the next morning! And could see why people enjoy parenting!! (WHEN WILL THIS CHILD SLEEP OH GODS?!)

The doors seem to be opening for my little book. In so many places - places to sell it and big people who are willing to share it with their people, and magazines willing to review. I am amazed/ humbled/ grateful... BUT WILL IT SELL?

This morning I was gifted, by some dear friends, with a place on a one day food writing course with Hugo Arnold, at the Ballymaloe Cookery School - home to Darina Allen and Rachel Allen (just next door to the Pink House). It's this Saturday - if anyone out there harbours a secret dream to be the next Nigella - as I do - why not join me - I know there's a couple more places available. 

It have been out in the garden, planting up our bank with nasturtiums, strawberries, monbretia,  fuschia and elder. Surrounded by bobbing tiny tom daffodils, peeping primroses and dainty wood anemones.

And of course painting. Did I tell you quite how much I love painting?

But shh! Don't tell the gods. It's our little secret!

Joy Pockets

It's Friday, so it's time for Joy Pockets. 

Joining with Mon at Holistic Mama to celebrate my gratitudes for the week.

Blackberries in the hedgerows - can't pick them fast enough to pop into my baby birdies mouths!!

The love, support and wisdom of local elders 

Radical homemaking - we're taking another step along the path

The cosmic shifts happening right now

Serendipity

Asking for what you want...again and again and again...until you get it. The Universe rewards persistence!

Developing adult bonds of friendship with my siblings

The magic of a warm, freshly laid egg.

Do share your Joy Pockets with me below, and visit Holistic Mama to see what other bloggers are grateful for this week.

Joy Pockets

Joining with Bohemian Twilight to celebrate my gratitudes for the week

A wishing day baking with my children - apple pies (which they didn't like, but I did), a harvest loaf (which burnt) and dinosaur rolls (which didn't)!

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Wonderful friends

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A comforting Dada humming hug

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A baba who has gotten the idea of night weaning

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A little girl wearing her Strawberry Shortcake knickers OVER her trousers to go shopping!!!

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Baby kisses in the night

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A new series of Outnumbered- long live the BBC!

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Anticipation of a wonderful weekend of events- starting with tapas and sherry tonight - ole!

And you, what are your joy pockets for this week? Pop over to Bohemian Twilight to read the other ladies at the party's pockets.

Share the love: Shiny happy people!

Sometimes we just assume...

We just assume that everyone knows how much we love them...
That they know how much their work is appreciated...
That they are special...
That their simply being in the world matters...deeply.
The world is a better, happier, kinder, funnier place for their presence in it.
And for that you are grateful.

Nine times out of ten you'd be wrong! Most of us, most of the time are tuned in to the negative voices in our heads that we can't imagine that the rest of the world doesn't feel that way about us too.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit "blaahhh!" Why do I bother? Who cares if I write? There are a million writers and aspiring writers out there. The world does not need another. Who am I kidding? Who would publish my silly book any way? Creative rainbow whatever!

And then, in the law of threes that function in my life, I received three wonderful e mails, unbidden from the electronic Universe. Appreciating me and my work. From strangers I have made contact with through my writing. And it turned my day right around! It gave me a zap of energy not only to carry on, but carry on with a song in my heart, and to work on with a second book proposal into the small hours (to a second publisher, not a second book... yet!)

Thank you Grainne. Thank you Becky. Thank you Merry.

Love and appreciation right back at ya!

So my mission today is to share the love.


To do my bit to change the world, today and make it full of shiny, happy people!!!!

Join me, dear reader.  Share your love and appreciation with five people today... perhaps the woman serving you in the shop, the man cleaning your local park, your mother, your partner, your children, your favourite blogger, or even...revolutionary thought here... yourself. A real, genuine "THANK YOU" from the bottom of your heart. Put it in words. Speak it out. Write a letter. Send a text message. Share the love.

I've appreciated my mother, my husband, my group of parenting bloggers, some dear friends and the ladies who inspired this post...

Who will you appreciate?
Maybe you'd let us know here who you appreciate and why...And if you share the love on Facebook or online. Please share a link to this post, so more and more people can get involved sharing the love today!

A love letter

I planned to do all sorts of things this weekend.
I planned to do a wonderful Valentines blog post to launch a new regular feature on this blog, one that other bloggers could join in with.
I planned to share the love. To inspire and give back.
But actually the greatest act of love I could do for myself this Valentines weekend, was to receive. To rest. To stop doing and just be for a while.
My computer has stayed firmly off. Well, almost! But off for me. I have read and read and am filling myself brim full of other people's ideas and love. I have stayed in bed a lot.
I am not ill. Very tired, but rather than get ill to be "allowed" to rest, I am allowing myself to step down a gear and recharge. To take in rather than give out.
I have been fed and cherished by my dear husband, wonderful friends, sweet children, precious father and step-mother, my kind mother-in-law. They have taken the strain and allowed me to slow down and decompress. I have accepted offers. I have asked for help.
I know it may sound strange to say that it is my greatest act of love to lean hard on others. But trusting others, having the courage to ask, and not feel guilty, to say that I can't do it all, to not be an angry martyr stomping around doing stuff when I feel empty...  all these things are big hurdles for me. BIG. And so I am very proud of myself. I have come a long way.
I am in a position of deep love and gratitude for those I am fortunate enough to have in my life.
Thank you all.
I love you.

Life lessons from an elder

Leonora - I shall call her that, as she is not one for being in the spotlight - is a constant wonder and inspiration. She is a woman of quiet creativity with a simple but beautiful home, a humble spirit, a childlike enthusiasm for the world. Though she is now in her mid eighties - she taught my father when he was in kindergarten (he is now in his late 60s!) - she is not old in any way. She digs her own garden, cares for her home, grows the best sweetcorn I have eaten, cooks wonderful dinner parties, the list goes on...

Visiting her immerses me in a different set of values. There is a different rhythm to her life and days which I drink like water and wish I could bottle. For sure it is partly from the fact that she is an old woman and I am young, partly that she lives alone and I have a house full of tumbling children. But she is like the spirit of an age which is almost gone. Her generation and their gifts are in very short supply, never to come again. This makes me feel sad. Our generation seem more flimsy, superficial, wasteful.

A SALUTE TO THE DREAMERS OF THE WORLD

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers.  But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.  

~Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance

What I love about my work is that in doing it I come across other like minded people around the world, dreaming the dream and making it come alive in their own ways. This week has been a wonderful busy week. The wires of communication have been buzzing and energy building in my little corner of the world... I have been in contact with educators who are also concerned about  our education system, and teachers and parents. A friend is running a visioning workshop for families wanting to create their own homes and communities. My husband's celebration of cycling is on this weekend. Others are joining together to create an alternative school in our area. I have 'met' a doula for the Amish community's home births in the US via the wonders of Facebook. And have come across some great resources, put together by people really thinking outside the box. I salute you all. Every man, woman and child who dares to dream and then act upon their dream. More power to you!

Thanks to all who lift my spirits on days when I despair of what doesn't work in the world, who work on regardless, who envisage beauty where there is only dullness, who have hope where there is only despair and who dare to dream big and share their dreams. 

Dream on... 

And finally some words to strengthen your resolve to dream louder, harder and bigger, from other dreamers of renown... (thanks to thequotegarden.com for these.)

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion.  You must set yourself on fire. 

 ~Arnold H. Glasow

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.  

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

~Author Unknown

 Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.  

~Buddha

 If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.  

~Flavia Weedn, Flavia and the Dream Maker