I am a lone wolf by nature. Who loves community.
In truth I find trust hard. And know I can rely on myself to get shit done. I prefer to motor on ahead than spend hours in meetings where no decisions are reached, or pandering to egos that want the power but not the work that comes with it.
For my 20s independence and self sufficiency was my intention in every area of my life. I wanted to live a self-sufficient life - growing and making all our own food, clothes, education... everything... but in a perfect intentional community. A strange combination.
I get a lot done, and done my way. But somewhere along the line realised my energy was not as infinite as my vision. I got burnt out a lot. And felt isolated.
Last night I was going through in my head the various work I've done. The things I started or helped make happen - arts festivals, play group, a school, a women's group, a magazine, a chocolate business, classes of all kinds...
Last night though I led, and did a lot of behind the scenes leg work for, our new red tent, it wasn't just me - we are all in it together - co creating... Just like I realised like a bolt between the eyes, as I wa freaking out about metaphorical tables and chairs with this big secret growth that's going on here in Dreaming Aloud world... it's not just me... I am supported. There are lots of us, invested in it together. Collaboration. Shared responsibility. Shared visioning.. shared work.
And again this morning, whilst I have put in a lot of time and energy in to the continued unfurling of our red tent... I feel the co-creative energy there - it's as though its unfolding by magic, as each woman weaves in her ideas and quilts and needs....
I cannot tell you how beautiful the space looked last night. The floor covered in red cloths and handmade quilts, soft pillows every where, a beautifully co created centre piece and twinkling nightlights. We each did our bit to create this magic, and set up and clear up were easy, stress free... a collaborative loving joy.
And I recognise that was there before... collaboration... but I didn't trust it to take my weight... for people to do what they said... part me, part them... but it usually ended in tears and burn out...
But now I'm really seeing and feeling, online and offline the beauty of collaboration in all areas of my work... now I have a wide circle of dreamers, conspirators and collaborators who are on the same page. We are standing in our authentic power. We value honest, clear communication. And it is pure magic. Weaving different people's energies together to co-create things much bigger than any of us can do alone. We hold each other, and each others visions, with clear agreements as to what we can do or give. And we are all blessed by the creations that unfold.
Here's to doing it together!
Tell me how are you with collaboration? Does it come naturally? Are you inclined to go it alone? Do you burn out? Have you got a strong circle of collaborators or are you still looking?
Showing posts with label women's circles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women's circles. Show all posts
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Red Tent Rising - A Resource-Full Post
I am just getting the supplies ready for our very first red tent gathering... a box of womancraft books for the red tent library, a piece of embroidery for the centre piece, a welcome sign, some futons for resting and reading.... It will be the
first I know of in the south of Ireland... I am very excited.
Held on the dark moon, a red tent is a women's circle which is open to all women in the community and offers a place to rest during menstruation, to connect with other women, share wisdom and be held in every stage of our female unfolding.
(Want to know more about what a red tent is? Watch my short video which I made for the red tent summit or grab a copy of my free red tent booklet - Password= love.)
I planted the seed of this red tent when I wrote Moon Time. I had never been to a red tent, and there was little information out there about them. I was hungry for knowledge... so I reached out to some of the movement's leaders, gathered all the information I could lay my hands on, and shared it in the book. That's how I roll! Mine was the first print book to explore the phenomenon and support women in setting up their own. I have been told that it has inspired and supported the creation of red tents in the UK, Canada and Australia as well as an online one which I am a member of.
And now we will have our own real one, in our community.
My stomach is churning and I am being a little short with my family as my brain goes into tables and chairs mode. But the excitement is overriding it... the fact that this long held dream is being born, that so many women are curious about it, that this work, and a dedicated women's space is opening up for our community... I just think of the growth, love, support, magic, empowerment, connection and healing that will emerge from the very existence of this space and shivers run down my spine...
More women sitting in circle together than ever have before in our community. Learning to speak their truth openly and be heard. From learning to listen with an open heart and without judgement. In having a place to come and be held, to rest and recharge. A place where new ideas can take seed, new books found, new friendships formed. Where women can learn to understand and trust and even celebrate their bodies.
How it came about...
I set myself a challenge out loud - which meant I couldn't go back on it, by promising the proceeds of the e-versions of Moon Time would go towards establishing a local red tent! And since then I have researched and reflected and waited. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, I was waiting for conspirators... and when I met them I knew right away... I did not say anything to them at all about it - I was in the midst of launching The Rainbow Way and I had only just met them... I just held the vision consistently affirming it, and gently released the women's group I had run for 5 1/2 years which had run its course. Numbers were dwindling and we couldn't find any more new participants...
And then two months later, the time was right for us all. One of the women asked on Facebook if anyone knew of a women's group or red tent in the area... and the flame was lit. Within an hour we had a FB group. And the other woman jumped right in as an admin, unbidden. Within a week we had a date and venue. In a month we have gotten over 100 women to our group, organically. We only invited 35 between us... the rest were just drawn to us.
We have had minor bumps in the road naturally, including our first venue cancelling only days before. But we have a new, better space now.
And our first meeting tonight and are expecting about 25 women.... many of whom I know personally, some I have only met online, one I taught blogging to, and others are completely new to me. For some it will be their first time doing women's work with me... others have done much before having been part of our long running women's group ... there is an excitement tinged with deep nervousness, as no one knows quite what to expect. What is a red tent any way, they wonder... will it be for me? Will I be expected to sit around talking about their periods, will I know anyone else?
I try to allay the nervousness with information - links to the red tent summit which I have just spoken at, my booklet on starting a red tent, with reassurance and love... but this is new, uncharted territory... of course there is apprehension.
Some are travelling nearly an hour to join us... others are following by Facebook - we hope to inspire them to start their own in their own community.
Are you ready for a red tent in YOUR neighbourhood? Wouldn't it be wonderful to have one in your city, town, village, or community?
Imagine not having to wait any longer...
Imagine knowing exactly how to create a Red Tent, monthly, where you, and your women friends, can simply BE, rather than DO...
DeAnna L’am who created the Red Tent Summit has created an Online Class designed to inspire, motivate, support and equip you, to start your own Red Tent.
The Global Tele-Tent Class starts on March 12, but you can register today.
I believe that the vision of a red tent in every neighbourhood - is possible in our life time!
And I want to help you make it a reality in YOUR neighbourhood!
Please join me, and women from all over the world, to make it so!
If you are looking for more resources I would recommend:
Held on the dark moon, a red tent is a women's circle which is open to all women in the community and offers a place to rest during menstruation, to connect with other women, share wisdom and be held in every stage of our female unfolding.
(Want to know more about what a red tent is? Watch my short video which I made for the red tent summit or grab a copy of my free red tent booklet - Password= love.)
I planted the seed of this red tent when I wrote Moon Time. I had never been to a red tent, and there was little information out there about them. I was hungry for knowledge... so I reached out to some of the movement's leaders, gathered all the information I could lay my hands on, and shared it in the book. That's how I roll! Mine was the first print book to explore the phenomenon and support women in setting up their own. I have been told that it has inspired and supported the creation of red tents in the UK, Canada and Australia as well as an online one which I am a member of.
And now we will have our own real one, in our community.
My stomach is churning and I am being a little short with my family as my brain goes into tables and chairs mode. But the excitement is overriding it... the fact that this long held dream is being born, that so many women are curious about it, that this work, and a dedicated women's space is opening up for our community... I just think of the growth, love, support, magic, empowerment, connection and healing that will emerge from the very existence of this space and shivers run down my spine...
More women sitting in circle together than ever have before in our community. Learning to speak their truth openly and be heard. From learning to listen with an open heart and without judgement. In having a place to come and be held, to rest and recharge. A place where new ideas can take seed, new books found, new friendships formed. Where women can learn to understand and trust and even celebrate their bodies.
How it came about...
I set myself a challenge out loud - which meant I couldn't go back on it, by promising the proceeds of the e-versions of Moon Time would go towards establishing a local red tent! And since then I have researched and reflected and waited. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, I was waiting for conspirators... and when I met them I knew right away... I did not say anything to them at all about it - I was in the midst of launching The Rainbow Way and I had only just met them... I just held the vision consistently affirming it, and gently released the women's group I had run for 5 1/2 years which had run its course. Numbers were dwindling and we couldn't find any more new participants...
And then two months later, the time was right for us all. One of the women asked on Facebook if anyone knew of a women's group or red tent in the area... and the flame was lit. Within an hour we had a FB group. And the other woman jumped right in as an admin, unbidden. Within a week we had a date and venue. In a month we have gotten over 100 women to our group, organically. We only invited 35 between us... the rest were just drawn to us.
We have had minor bumps in the road naturally, including our first venue cancelling only days before. But we have a new, better space now.
And our first meeting tonight and are expecting about 25 women.... many of whom I know personally, some I have only met online, one I taught blogging to, and others are completely new to me. For some it will be their first time doing women's work with me... others have done much before having been part of our long running women's group ... there is an excitement tinged with deep nervousness, as no one knows quite what to expect. What is a red tent any way, they wonder... will it be for me? Will I be expected to sit around talking about their periods, will I know anyone else?
I try to allay the nervousness with information - links to the red tent summit which I have just spoken at, my booklet on starting a red tent, with reassurance and love... but this is new, uncharted territory... of course there is apprehension.
Some are travelling nearly an hour to join us... others are following by Facebook - we hope to inspire them to start their own in their own community.
Are you ready for a red tent in YOUR neighbourhood? Wouldn't it be wonderful to have one in your city, town, village, or community?
Imagine not having to wait any longer...
Imagine knowing exactly how to create a Red Tent, monthly, where you, and your women friends, can simply BE, rather than DO...
DeAnna L’am who created the Red Tent Summit has created an Online Class designed to inspire, motivate, support and equip you, to start your own Red Tent.
The Global Tele-Tent Class starts on March 12, but you can register today.
I believe that the vision of a red tent in every neighbourhood - is possible in our life time!
And I want to help you make it a reality in YOUR neighbourhood!
Please join me, and women from all over the world, to make it so!
If you are looking for more resources I would recommend:
- My free red tent booklet - Password= love
- If you are local, our Red Tent group is here on Facebook. For resources, connections and listings UK red tents and here, Red tent Temple movement, Red Tents in Every Neighbourhood
- DeAnna L'Am's upcoming teleclass
- The Red Tent Movie - buy it, rent it, read the blog, watch a video from the maker on how to create your own red tent.
- And ALisa Starkweather's monthly teleconference and Facebook support page.
Friday, May 25, 2012
12 books to change your life
Books are my life!
No really! I write them, review them, sell them professionally... and, of course, read for pleasure. I tend to have at least eight on the go at once!
You might have noted in my Books for the Soul page that I refer to myself as a book medicine woman. If someone has a need, I usually know the book that will help them. I inherited this from both sides of my family: we are shameless book pushers! I share a lot of books with my special people...
But...
There are a few of my books that I will not lend out. I recommend them, sure. But they are always either on my desk, nightstand or my mind...
And so, dear friends, I want to share them with you too...
Each of these books marked a gateway to transformation for me: creating a paradigm change and new way of seeing the world. They are classics, the bibles of a generation, many of them are best sellers. Others are less well known. I re read each at least once a year. Each time I am at a cross roads, needing answers, or uninspired by life, I come back to them.
Now, most of these are self-help, hippy-dippy books! That is my specialty! So let your inner hippy out, align your chakras, beat your bongos and off we go in our tie-dyed glory to find our true selves!!
No really! I write them, review them, sell them professionally... and, of course, read for pleasure. I tend to have at least eight on the go at once!
You might have noted in my Books for the Soul page that I refer to myself as a book medicine woman. If someone has a need, I usually know the book that will help them. I inherited this from both sides of my family: we are shameless book pushers! I share a lot of books with my special people...
But...
| image: eventkeeper.com |
And so, dear friends, I want to share them with you too...
Each of these books marked a gateway to transformation for me: creating a paradigm change and new way of seeing the world. They are classics, the bibles of a generation, many of them are best sellers. Others are less well known. I re read each at least once a year. Each time I am at a cross roads, needing answers, or uninspired by life, I come back to them.
Now, most of these are self-help, hippy-dippy books! That is my specialty! So let your inner hippy out, align your chakras, beat your bongos and off we go in our tie-dyed glory to find our true selves!!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Buried Treasure (1): Women's Sacred Circles
A new weekly slot here at Dreaming Aloud. Early blog posts which newer readers may have missed. I like to think of them as buried treasure!
This was the first of my Dreaming aloud columns, published in JUNO magazine, Spring 2009. An adapted version is also in the 2011 Earth Pathways Diary.
Welcome to the circle. Come in with your chatter, take off your coat. Find a place, slip off your shoes, wriggle your toes and tuck them under you. The candle on the centre table is lit. Its golden light softens the tired faces grouped around it. The brass singing bowl is sounded, its rich resonance dissipating into silence, leading us into the realm of stillness. We join hands and breathe together. In and out. This invisible trace leads us into ourselves. Conscious breath fills the room, sanctifying this simple lounge. Our separateness diminishes as a new energy enters the room tangibly changing the atmosphere: it is richer, heavier, more sombre. We settle deeper into stillness.
This was the first of my Dreaming aloud columns, published in JUNO magazine, Spring 2009. An adapted version is also in the 2011 Earth Pathways Diary.
***
This is where we meet, on the first Sunday of every month. Although many of us meet at playgroup or for tea during the month, this is different. This is our space. Our sacred space in which we find ourselves once more. We start, like always, by speaking to the very simple question: “how are you really now?” In the stillness a small voice, which has been swamped by the busyness of daily mothering begins to emerge, haltingly, but with strength. How am I? How wonderful to be asked. Terrifying but wonderful. Can I speak to it, bring myself to this question with honesty? This is not a place for being “fine”. No one here is interested in “fine”. Here I can be confused, elated, barely scraping through. Here it is OK to inhabit a place of paradox or of not knowing. I start to speak, uncertain of where my words are headed. I surrender myself to them. Then, as I grab the thread more clearly I open my eyes and sweep them slowly around the room. Women who have become dear friends sit, their eyes focused and loving on me, as I unfold my soul before them. Not for approval, just to be witnessed, this tapestry of my life. The floor is mine, I cannot be interrupted. And it is such a wonderful feeling. Not to stop mid-sentence again and again to answer a child’s question or grab a cup of juice from being spilt or pre-empt a sibling slap. Just space to be me. Wonderful.
And though mothering takes up so much of me, teaches me so much, satisfies me, there is also so much of me that is nothing to do with my kids, which has no expression in play dough or picture books or cooking dinner. The part of me from pre-kids, which inhabits dreams and books and philosophy. The part of me which even my husband does not really know and which I only get glimpses of. This gets a chance to creep out from under the stone of daily life and emerge blinking into the sunlight of awareness, to be witnessed by this circle of women. And then when another stands to speak I get to practice what I am so weak at in daily life, yet need for my parenting: deep, non-judgemental, open-hearted listening. This is where I learn skills which I take back home to my family.
Women’s circles are as old as women themselves. At many times in history they have been outlawed, suspicious. At times they have held the names of quilting bees or sewing groups. We are not a great group of stitchers. Instead each month a different leader chooses a topic which stimulates our minds and titillates us: Creativity, Home, Books, Community, Spirituality… But this is not a discussion group either, though the final discussions can be juicy. Instead we speak from our deepest selves in the spirit of council sharing, a custom borrowed from Native American elders, and familiar to me from Quaker meetings. Waiting for the spirit to move us, then allowing it to meander us through the topic. As we hear our voices speaking we discover what we truly feel and believe. Often it surprises the speaker herself. The listeners’ heads nod in agreement, eyes well with tears of compassion. We sit in a circle and, as women, often we talk in circles. Women’s circles seem to be coming back, spreading like ripples through communities, sustaining the women who belong to them, their goodness spilling out into the families beyond.
We drift out into the hallway, asking after our children’s playmates, organising to meet up for coffee and playtime. We swap forgotten socks and disappear off into the night in time to fix supper for the family, or maybe, just perhaps, a little too late and so to be fed! I float into the house, transformed from the empty husk of a woman who left just a few hours before. I scoop up my children, delighting in their faces. “Mummy’s back” I announce, and I am. I really am.
The women’s group that I started in East Cork began in February 2008 and meets once a month, with a different leader, venue and topic each time.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Need miracles in your life?: gotta getta goddess guide!
I have just found MAGIC and I NEED to share it with you. Please forgive the gushing, breathless tone of sheer delight... but I have found something I have been looking for for 12 years. I have looked in books, in evening courses, in degrees, in England, Ireland and the US. And now I've found it! A multi-dimensional, practical, creative, emotional, connected, woman-centred bit of wonder... thanks to the powers of the internet! And a very special woman called Leonie who IS the real deal...
If you are needing:
*E-courses to help you get creative.
*To know HOW to get started making money doing something you LOVE...
*And how to CHARGE for it...
*Meditations to soothe your soul...
*Workbooks to help you get clarity...
* Coaching and support which is kind and loving and gentle and deeply empowering...from someone who calls you sweetpea and dear heart...
*Really useful, highly practical advice on business skills in language you can understand...
*Loads of help on technical issues like writing e-books, setting up a great blog, selling your artwork...
*A sacred women's circle of supportive sisters to listen, cheer and advise... the network is currently almost 1000 women around the world from 20-65...
*Lots of brightness, positivity and sparkle in your day with beautiful illustrations and wonderful words...
Then the Goddess Circle is for YOU! Click here to view more details
I PROMISE you, it may sound too good to be true, it's not... everyone who has signed up can't believe their luck in being part of it.
I am quarter of the way through her business goddess course and have already planned my first e-book, and a series of other books... I have been unable to "touch" exactly what I wanted to do for so long... I could feel it but I couldn't SEE it clearly enough...
This woman has got her finger on the pulse of what women want... and need... I'm looking at all you creative rainbow mamas out there! She sells individual ebooks and courses on clearing your clutter, being a business goddess and setting your creativity free, meditations etc...
But...
For $99 you can join the Goddess Circle and then you get access to ALL her stuff, and the online women's circle, including a circle doing the Artist's Way (and lots of other exciting sounding sub-groups) for a whole YEAR! That's only £65, or about €70, cheaper than ONE evening class you could take at your local college! and 10,000 times cheaper than the $100,000 I nearly invested in a PhD in the US, which would give me "permission" to write a book!
There is SO much goodness here, I just wish I could get you all a subscription, really, truly. Please do yourself a favour and check it out. YOU SO DESERVE IT... (yes YOU! Motherfunker, Mary, Francesca, Leigh, Mel, Rachael, Julianne, Lydia and all my dear readers who I don't know by name ...!)
Think of it as the best birthday present you could give yourself. The best investment you can make in yourself.
And if you like the sound of it and you do sign up, please do it through here, she'll make it worth my while, which makes my blogging that little bit more sustainable for our family!
But that's not why I'm telling you. I'm telling you because I KNOW it will help bring magic to your life too...
Click here to view more details you'll be so glad you did!
*E-courses to help you get creative.
*To know HOW to get started making money doing something you LOVE...
*And how to CHARGE for it...
*Meditations to soothe your soul...
*Workbooks to help you get clarity...
* Coaching and support which is kind and loving and gentle and deeply empowering...from someone who calls you sweetpea and dear heart...
*Really useful, highly practical advice on business skills in language you can understand...
*Loads of help on technical issues like writing e-books, setting up a great blog, selling your artwork...
*A sacred women's circle of supportive sisters to listen, cheer and advise... the network is currently almost 1000 women around the world from 20-65...
*Lots of brightness, positivity and sparkle in your day with beautiful illustrations and wonderful words...
Then the Goddess Circle is for YOU! Click here to view more details
I PROMISE you, it may sound too good to be true, it's not... everyone who has signed up can't believe their luck in being part of it.
I am quarter of the way through her business goddess course and have already planned my first e-book, and a series of other books... I have been unable to "touch" exactly what I wanted to do for so long... I could feel it but I couldn't SEE it clearly enough...
This woman has got her finger on the pulse of what women want... and need... I'm looking at all you creative rainbow mamas out there! She sells individual ebooks and courses on clearing your clutter, being a business goddess and setting your creativity free, meditations etc...
But...
For $99 you can join the Goddess Circle and then you get access to ALL her stuff, and the online women's circle, including a circle doing the Artist's Way (and lots of other exciting sounding sub-groups) for a whole YEAR! That's only £65, or about €70, cheaper than ONE evening class you could take at your local college! and 10,000 times cheaper than the $100,000 I nearly invested in a PhD in the US, which would give me "permission" to write a book!
There is SO much goodness here, I just wish I could get you all a subscription, really, truly. Please do yourself a favour and check it out. YOU SO DESERVE IT... (yes YOU! Motherfunker, Mary, Francesca, Leigh, Mel, Rachael, Julianne, Lydia and all my dear readers who I don't know by name ...!)
Think of it as the best birthday present you could give yourself. The best investment you can make in yourself.
And if you like the sound of it and you do sign up, please do it through here, she'll make it worth my while, which makes my blogging that little bit more sustainable for our family!
But that's not why I'm telling you. I'm telling you because I KNOW it will help bring magic to your life too...
Click here to view more details you'll be so glad you did!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Moon time
Moon time approaching, I am following the call inside to reflect, dream, vision and create for myself. I am taking time to read and reflect and create other stuff. I am back reading Red Moon: Understanding and using the creative, sexual and spiritual gifts of the menstrual cycle. I have done SO much writing and giving out to others the past few weeks (you dear blog readers only see about 1/4 of it!), now is my time. This is a retreat within the confines of my daily life.
All my clothes are torn, so I need to focus on "my" stuff very literally! I have a number of skirts which need repairing and one I have been meaning to make for about 6 months. Also a few little peg fairies are calling to be made now I have gathered the materials...
Yesterday I made a lovely clay labyrinth for a double motherblessing I am leading on Sunday for two members of our women's group. Am drawn to make another. I have been reading so many birth books for a JUNO feature, and making peace with the fact that my birthing days are behind me.
All my clothes are torn, so I need to focus on "my" stuff very literally! I have a number of skirts which need repairing and one I have been meaning to make for about 6 months. Also a few little peg fairies are calling to be made now I have gathered the materials...
Yesterday I made a lovely clay labyrinth for a double motherblessing I am leading on Sunday for two members of our women's group. Am drawn to make another. I have been reading so many birth books for a JUNO feature, and making peace with the fact that my birthing days are behind me.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Walking Labyrinths of Sand
Today was a celebration.
Of women's circles.
More than 20 groups throughout the UK and Ireland gathered.
To celebrate...
Creativity,
Togetherness,
Nature,
Love,
Peace,
Being alive,
Being Women,
In honour of 100 years of International Women's Day.
At 12 noon,
The Flare groups connected in spirit.
We hope our sisters had as wonderful a time as us.
This was our gathering.
You are welcome to join in spirit too...
An icy cold mist and wind surrounded our corner of East Cork, Ireland.
A true sea mist.
I walked the forty minute walk to our local beach.
With our baby in the buggy
Forming a plan as I walked...
Still unsure as to what we would do...
Or who would be there...
The circle of stones series from this week was circling in my mind
I had a few of my favourite books with me...
Labyrinths of Birth with lots of labyrinth seeds
Make it Wild - for ephemeral art inspiration
and of course Circle of Stones if readings were needed...
 |
| Shanagarry strand in the mist |
 |
| The way to Garryvoe...before we worked our magic! |
 |
| The island, in all its misty glory |
 |
| rivers of sand... |
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Lines and Circles - A Meditation in Words (4) in the Circle of Stones Series
“Our life is an apprenticeship to the truth that around every circle another can be drawn; there is no end in nature, but every end is a beginning; under every deep a lower deep opens.” Emerson
Circles are one of the simplest geometric forms, we are surrounded by them: in literal forms, symbolic representations and in terms of energy.
Circles are ancient symbols of sacred wholeness used across human cultures: standing stones, beehive cells, labyrinths, rose windows, chalices, mandalas, even the wedding ring...each is based on the circle.
Circles are ancient symbols of sacred wholeness used across human cultures: standing stones, beehive cells, labyrinths, rose windows, chalices, mandalas, even the wedding ring...each is based on the circle.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Weaving virtual circles - Circle of Stones series (3)
Firstly a brief apology, I have been distracted with other thoughts, (of clay and animal welfare) so my Circle of Stones week has been interrupted over the past couple of days! Sorry! You got some other goodies instead, and I, because of my general impatience, wanted to share those musings whilst they were fresh!
So on with the Circle of Stones series...
I discovered an online circle of stones. It is bursting with inspiring interviews with wonderful women. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
So on with the Circle of Stones series...
I discovered an online circle of stones. It is bursting with inspiring interviews with wonderful women. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
Click me!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Circle of Stones (2) Book review
Most of us have a number of books which have marked defining points on our life's journey. For me they are mainly women's books. And all non-fiction. Each is like a marker in the sand, a point when I can say that my conception of myself and my world changed forever. They marked a deeper knowing: a tangible shift.
I think of my life in terms of BB and AB (rather than AD and BC!) Before X book (BB). And after X book (AB)!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Circle of Stones (1) You are Invited
How might you life have been different if there was a place for you? A place for you to go...a place of women...a place where you were nurtured from an ancient flow sustaining you and steadying you as you sought to become yourself. A place of women to help you to trust the ancient flow already there within yourself...waiting to be released...
A place of women...
How might your life be different?
Judith Duerk, Circle of Stones
You,
dear woman,
are invited...
dear woman,
are invited...
To join the circle of stones gathering
Wherever you maybe...
Thursday, December 16, 2010
THE SOUND OF SILENCE
I always thought that I was drawn to Buddhism and Quakerism because they were non-dogmatic routes to personal enlightenment. They speak to my own journey, by elucidating and honouring the individual's inner path.
This morning I suddenly realised why else they draw me - they both offer silence as both ministry and communion. Silence for me is a balm and a discipline. It does not come easily. I have a chattering mind and mouth, but silence is where I am happiest. And with three young children it is a commodity as rare as gold in my life.
I remember when I did a ten day silent meditation retreat in Japan, everyone who knew me thought I would struggle with not being able to talk for ten days. The opposite was true, I ran to the toilet and sobbed my heart out when the silence came to an end and I had to speak again.
Meditation per se is not something I have space for in my life right now. And I feel the lack of it. And so I take opportunities throughout the day to try to reconnect to silence and mindfulness, that I want to share with you.
This morning I suddenly realised why else they draw me - they both offer silence as both ministry and communion. Silence for me is a balm and a discipline. It does not come easily. I have a chattering mind and mouth, but silence is where I am happiest. And with three young children it is a commodity as rare as gold in my life.
I remember when I did a ten day silent meditation retreat in Japan, everyone who knew me thought I would struggle with not being able to talk for ten days. The opposite was true, I ran to the toilet and sobbed my heart out when the silence came to an end and I had to speak again.
Silent space practices
Meditation per se is not something I have space for in my life right now. And I feel the lack of it. And so I take opportunities throughout the day to try to reconnect to silence and mindfulness, that I want to share with you.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Craft-Tea Christmas Celebrations
Welcome to the December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let's Talk Traditions
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***
The excitement is two-fold: the craft element of making and decorating, and then the food aspect of stocking up and then feasting on special seasonal treats. I start to get excited about Christmas in September, so by the beginning of December I feel entitled to go all out in celebration. After all I have been waiting so long for it!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***
We love Christmas in our house. And for me it has to be a home-made Christmas.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Material memory - Women and Quilting
For me the passage into womanhood was marked by a summer I chose to take off, between University and beyond, to teach myself to bake bread and make a quilt.
I love quilts: the patterns, the details of the fabrics, the interplay of light and dark, the art, the maths and the craft of them.
Wonderful Women's Work
As promised, a round up of women I would like to salute for doing their thing with vision, courage and creativity...
First off... a very special event to celebrate 100 years of International Women's Day 2011, linking women's circles around the globe. Visit http://www.flarewales.com/ to find out more and join in.
First off... a very special event to celebrate 100 years of International Women's Day 2011, linking women's circles around the globe. Visit http://www.flarewales.com/ to find out more and join in.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
RAISING OUR VOICES
Part 3 of the Call yourself a Feminist? series
Feminists, suffragettes and many protest groups before and since have recognised that if you want to be heard, you must raise your voice.
But raising our voices with uncontrolled anger or sadness, to whinge or to nag is alienating, irritating and ineffective - be it directed to our friends, children, spouses or governments. First we must honour the NEED to communicate, rather than swallow our voices. Secondly we must learn to express ourselves effectively, in a way that our message can be heard by those listening. Otherwise both speaker and message can be easily dismissed.
The gift of great movers on a global stage, with a powerful message is integrity and control and insistence, passionate insistence, and self knowledge and reflection: think the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, Gandhi...
Feminists, suffragettes and many protest groups before and since have recognised that if you want to be heard, you must raise your voice.
But raising our voices with uncontrolled anger or sadness, to whinge or to nag is alienating, irritating and ineffective - be it directed to our friends, children, spouses or governments. First we must honour the NEED to communicate, rather than swallow our voices. Secondly we must learn to express ourselves effectively, in a way that our message can be heard by those listening. Otherwise both speaker and message can be easily dismissed.
The gift of great movers on a global stage, with a powerful message is integrity and control and insistence, passionate insistence, and self knowledge and reflection: think the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, Gandhi...
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Call yourself a feminist? (2)...Well, no!
Despite being grateful to feminists, and having read many of their key works, I do not consider myself a feminist (despite yesterday's evidence) because....
I find them loud and shouty and deliberately reactionary
I find that they alienate a lot of women and most men who aren't as radical as them
I feel that they have no answer, no response to the issue of motherhood, except avoid it, or ignore their children. BUT this does not throw me in with the Catholic New Feminists either...
But before you get too cross with me, I don't call myself a suffragette either, and nor do you! And I am deeply grateful to both sets of women. Deeply. But times move on. Needs change. Issues change. Ways of communicating change...
I find them loud and shouty and deliberately reactionary
I find that they alienate a lot of women and most men who aren't as radical as them
I feel that they have no answer, no response to the issue of motherhood, except avoid it, or ignore their children. BUT this does not throw me in with the Catholic New Feminists either...
But before you get too cross with me, I don't call myself a suffragette either, and nor do you! And I am deeply grateful to both sets of women. Deeply. But times move on. Needs change. Issues change. Ways of communicating change...
Friday, November 19, 2010
Metta meditation of loving kindness
Thank you for the support and interest in our circle of Deep Compassion. I know of two other circles and many individuals who will be joining us. I have already started receiving cards which I am compiling to give to the mother in mourning. (Please see my previous post for more information)
Yesterday I baked a rosemary remembrance cake with love, which we will eat after the circle. Rosemary has a history of being used for funerals, and to clear the mind. (For the recipe see Nigella Lawson's Feast)
We will be practicing a Metta meditation at the women's circle. This is a Buddhist way of developing loving kindness and deep compassion. First we start with ourselves, which is often deeply challenging, before opening it out to those we love, those we do not know, those for whom we have challenging feelings, and then all beings.
I first practised this in Japan, in the mountains near Kyoto, on a ten day, silent Vipassana meditation retreat. We also did it at our wedding ceremony. It is a very powerful, yet simple meditation, to be recited aloud or in your head. I found this version which was composed after another tragic incident, and thought it appropriate.
I first practised this in Japan, in the mountains near Kyoto, on a ten day, silent Vipassana meditation retreat. We also did it at our wedding ceremony. It is a very powerful, yet simple meditation, to be recited aloud or in your head. I found this version which was composed after another tragic incident, and thought it appropriate.
A Metta Meditation
For the tragedy in NYC, DC & PA of September 11, 2001
May I be well, safe and peaceful.
May I be free from the suffering of fear, anger and ill will.
May I find forgiveness for the inevitable harms we bring to one another.
May I cultivate lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
May I live in peace and harmony with all beings.
May our families and friends be well, safe and peaceful.
May they be free from the suffering of fear, anger and ill will.
May they find forgiveness for the inevitable harms we bring to one another.
May they cultivate lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
May they live in peace and harmony with all beings.
May all other persons in our lives be well, safe and peaceful.
May they be free from the suffering of fear, anger and ill will.
May they find forgiveness for the inevitable harms we bring to one another.
May they cultivate lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
May they live in peace and harmony with all beings.
May all the victims of this tragedy and their families be well, safe and peaceful.
May they be free from the suffering of fear, anger and ill will.
May they find forgiveness for the inevitable harms we bring to one another.
May they cultivate lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
May they live in peace and harmony with all beings.
May those responsible for this tragedy and their families be well, safe and peaceful.
May they be free from the suffering of fear, anger and ill will.
May they find forgiveness for the inevitable harms we bring to one another.
May they cultivate lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
May they live in peace and harmony with all beings.
.
May all beings be well, safe and peaceful.
May they be free from the suffering of fear, anger and ill will.
May they find forgiveness for the inevitable harms we bring to one another.
May they cultivate lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
May they live in peace and harmony with all beings.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A Women's Circle of Deep Compassion
What can I do?
That was my first question. A good friend approached me almost immediately she heard the news - you're tapped into a large mother's network in the area, what can we do?
I felt blank. Empty. In complete shock. Helpless in the face of a tragedy so large, so local, so raw. We all did.
Yesterday my blog page had 240 visitors. Writing it was scary - would people find it tasteless, me writing about such a raw subject? But it seemed to touch a chord with many. And it moved me on in my own process of grief.
I have been asking local mums who are church goers "what are the arrangements". I attend church things in support of the local community here, at sad times, but I am not a church attendee.
But I do lead womens circles. And it is women who are needing to share their feelings of sadness, shock, and deep compassion. Both women in the local community, and those who live further afield but have connections to the area, either geographical, familial or simply soul connections.
So a plan has developed (thanks to a night of not much sleep due to a hot, cross, teething baby).
Tomorrow morning will be a Women's Time of Deep Compassion.
At 11 am, tomorrow, Friday 19th November, I would like to invite you to add your focused awareness, love and compassion. Take a moment to remember Una, her beautiful daughters, her family and friends, and her husband, and his family and friends. Widening your circle of love and deep compassion for them all.
Please attend my house if you can and would like to (RSVP please). Or gather a circle of women together at your own. Or take a moment whilst sitting with friends having a coffee. Or at your Jamie Oliver Party (I don't want to steal your attendees Bree!) or just by yourself. Spread the word to as many other women friends as you think would be interested.
1) Light a candle if you can
2) Take a moment to breathe deeply and mindfully
3) Sit in awareness/ prayer/meditation for a few minutes
4) Perhaps take time to make the gifts (see below) together, or share those you have made already and brought
5) On extinguishing the candles, each person sends a wish/ hope/prayer for Una, if possible speaking it aloud.
6) It is always nice to open and close a women's circle by holding hands and closing eyes, perhaps singing together, but only if you feel comfortable doing this!
And a gift...
A friend at her motherblessing was given a beautiful handmade book, where each of us contributed a page. I would like to do a variation partly on this, and partly on a conventional communally signed card. A pack of mother-blessed, "angel"/ "inspiration" cards for her to keep with her journal, or on her mantle piece, or handbag.
If each person who wishes could make a "postcard": 6" x 4" (standard photo size), just single (not a folded card). On one side might be a photograph, drawing, collage, piece of mounted sewing, a quotation, message, symbol, a word, a prayer, a poem - a gift of hope/love/peace from your heart to hers. Something to light her darkness and add a new, brighter thought or image into her days.
On the other side please put your name at least, and perhaps your contact details or where you live, so that if ever she feels herself alone in this world she can phone, text, call in, drive past your house, look at a map and know that someone out there cares and that she is not alone.
Please mail me these cards (to arrive for the end of next week - email me for address), or scan them in and email them and I will print them off and put them onto card.
I will compile the cards in a beautiful folder/ envelope and get them to her next week.
So 11 am PROMPT tomorrow, Friday 19th November. Start arriving from 10.45, we will be finished by 11.30. I am not intending for it to last more than half an hour, as I know people will have to disappear to collect children and do nap time.
I look forward to welcoming as many of you as possible to the Pink House tomorrow - please do RSVP by text/email.
Practical note: I am planning it for a Friday as then a lot of mothers have children in school or playschool. I feel it is appropriate for babies to be there. Toddlers too (if they can have a favourite toy/ book/ food to keep them quiet for a little that would be great.) I would be concerned about older children asking questions that mothers may be wanting to avoid, but they are welcome to play upstairs.
That was my first question. A good friend approached me almost immediately she heard the news - you're tapped into a large mother's network in the area, what can we do?
I felt blank. Empty. In complete shock. Helpless in the face of a tragedy so large, so local, so raw. We all did.
Yesterday my blog page had 240 visitors. Writing it was scary - would people find it tasteless, me writing about such a raw subject? But it seemed to touch a chord with many. And it moved me on in my own process of grief.
I have been asking local mums who are church goers "what are the arrangements". I attend church things in support of the local community here, at sad times, but I am not a church attendee.
But I do lead womens circles. And it is women who are needing to share their feelings of sadness, shock, and deep compassion. Both women in the local community, and those who live further afield but have connections to the area, either geographical, familial or simply soul connections.
So a plan has developed (thanks to a night of not much sleep due to a hot, cross, teething baby).
Tomorrow morning will be a Women's Time of Deep Compassion.
At 11 am, tomorrow, Friday 19th November, I would like to invite you to add your focused awareness, love and compassion. Take a moment to remember Una, her beautiful daughters, her family and friends, and her husband, and his family and friends. Widening your circle of love and deep compassion for them all.
Please attend my house if you can and would like to (RSVP please). Or gather a circle of women together at your own. Or take a moment whilst sitting with friends having a coffee. Or at your Jamie Oliver Party (I don't want to steal your attendees Bree!) or just by yourself. Spread the word to as many other women friends as you think would be interested.
1) Light a candle if you can
2) Take a moment to breathe deeply and mindfully
3) Sit in awareness/ prayer/meditation for a few minutes
4) Perhaps take time to make the gifts (see below) together, or share those you have made already and brought
5) On extinguishing the candles, each person sends a wish/ hope/prayer for Una, if possible speaking it aloud.
6) It is always nice to open and close a women's circle by holding hands and closing eyes, perhaps singing together, but only if you feel comfortable doing this!
And a gift...
A friend at her motherblessing was given a beautiful handmade book, where each of us contributed a page. I would like to do a variation partly on this, and partly on a conventional communally signed card. A pack of mother-blessed, "angel"/ "inspiration" cards for her to keep with her journal, or on her mantle piece, or handbag.
If each person who wishes could make a "postcard": 6" x 4" (standard photo size), just single (not a folded card). On one side might be a photograph, drawing, collage, piece of mounted sewing, a quotation, message, symbol, a word, a prayer, a poem - a gift of hope/love/peace from your heart to hers. Something to light her darkness and add a new, brighter thought or image into her days.
On the other side please put your name at least, and perhaps your contact details or where you live, so that if ever she feels herself alone in this world she can phone, text, call in, drive past your house, look at a map and know that someone out there cares and that she is not alone.
Please mail me these cards (to arrive for the end of next week - email me for address), or scan them in and email them and I will print them off and put them onto card.
I will compile the cards in a beautiful folder/ envelope and get them to her next week.
So 11 am PROMPT tomorrow, Friday 19th November. Start arriving from 10.45, we will be finished by 11.30. I am not intending for it to last more than half an hour, as I know people will have to disappear to collect children and do nap time.
Please do bring any prayers/ poems/ reflections etc that you might want to share at this time.
And do bring cake etc if wanted. We will of course have tea and cake afterwards for those who do not need to race off.
I look forward to welcoming as many of you as possible to the Pink House tomorrow - please do RSVP by text/email.
Practical note: I am planning it for a Friday as then a lot of mothers have children in school or playschool. I feel it is appropriate for babies to be there. Toddlers too (if they can have a favourite toy/ book/ food to keep them quiet for a little that would be great.) I would be concerned about older children asking questions that mothers may be wanting to avoid, but they are welcome to play upstairs.
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