Looking in the wrong places

For years we have been looking in the wrong places.

Clever scientists in white coats with pens in their top pockets

Promised to save us from our madness if they could just

Hoe our heads, weed our white matter. They’ve been

Looking for the place where all the dark things go

The terrors, the fears, the memories, the madness.

Where does it hide, reside, inside?

Man says the brain, the brain is a pain,

Logico rules so it must be there.

Fix the machine, oil it well,

Stick it back together, the nuts and bolts.

But woman she knows in her blood, in her flow

In the pulses of the womb and her stomach turned to stone

In the clench of a fist and the callousing of a heart

In the terror of a tumour…

The body is her unconscious.

This soft and supple tapestry of miracles

That is where we store our shit

The landfill, dump of our lives

No temple this,  we use our bodies as a dump

No one taught us to empty the trash.

And so it builds up

The shadows, the dark stuff

In our veins and clogging our pores.

When we cross our legs and bite our tongues like we were told

When we turn a cheek and choke back tears

When we swallow the poison spewed by a lover

When we fake an orgasm and our body screams No

But our throat is silent.

And the good girl goes mad.

The body holds the unconscious and nobody knew.

Except us… but they couldn’t hear us.

They just called us mad.

10 reasons why art journaling is BAD for women

OK - odd title for someone who has recently proclaimed love for this form -  but bear with me here. Let me explain myself a little more, before you run at me with your glitter-tipped calligraphy pens!

I am admittedly a little slow on the uptake here, as art journaling (do check out my Pinterest board, to see the sort of stuff that I love... and that drives me nuts all at the same time) has been hot stuff for the past few years now. I have been a little preoccupied with something called "having babies" to be a fully signed up embossing goddess complete with heat gun and die cutter.

I have just started art journalling, having gotten over my fear of the unknown and taking part in a uber creative women's course at - wait for it, y'all - the Cosmic Cowgirls University!!!! (Where else but on the interweb!)

There is so much I want to love, even do love about the CONCEPT of art journaling. I'm loving doodling, drawing and adding paint to my journal. I love adding color and images. I love freeing myself up from just writing - the creative mind and subconscious adore to have less linear forms of expression.

BUT ...

and this is a big but (t!!!)...

The more examples of it I see out there, the more I get this sick feeling in my stomach. It suddenly occurred to me that art journaling, whilst an art form that seeks self expression and is propounded by well-meaning women as a form of much needed "therapy" for so many women, is actually NOT a good thing, and here's why...

1) It's all so cutesy - we're women, not girls... yet art journaling fashions seem to be creating a Disnification of our imagery and feelings, endless cute little girls and hearts and butterflies.

2) It's material intensive - which costs lots of money and gets women into building up stashes, not that different to building up wardrobes or make up collections, it just another way of commodifying women's desire for beauty.

3) It's time intensive - art journaling techniques take a long time to create something personal - taking time that could be used for more "productive" creativity, creativity that can make you money, that you can hang on your wall, give to your friend... put your work out there ladies, rather than keeping it all in your journals.

4) They don't seem about writing - in fact many of the techniques I have seen suggest gessoing over your writing and just using a couple of pithy phrases - as though the words don't matter.


5)Journals are supposed to be private - art journals seem made for show - and therefore lack real depth.

6) So much of the "wisdom" in them is trite Facebook type quotes, nice aphorisms that don't hold much personal truth.

7) It's very "perfectionist" - the lettering, images etc are all "perfect", not doodles or works in progress.

8) Homogenity - journals are supposed to be individual expressions of our inner journey - most art journaling is not.

9) Self-absorption - spending THAT much time obsessing with your diary aint healthy. There's a whole world out there.

10) Have I mentioned all the hearts and flowers and cutesy girls? They REALLY get me. We are more than that.

In sum, my problem is this: that much art journaling seems to keep women small, rather than supporting them in their bigness. It seeks to prettify, rather than encourage the messy and the true. It seeks to commodify, and to nicen a woman's voice. This makes me very uncomfortable. But let me state here, that it may well not be the teachers of this art, but women doing this TO THEMSELVES. They are so used to making things good, happy, nice and right, that nothing else is deemed possible or desirable...

In my view, women's journals should be... (ouch, I know, "should", but, in for a penny, in for a pound)...

1) Personal

2) Exploratory

3) Allowed to be messy

4) Places for questions, more than answers


5) Full of real women's imagery (see my board on feminine symbology)

6) Full of real women's words, thoughts and feelings...

7) Places for speaking the unspeakable, thinking the unthinkable, drawing the taboo, challenging our own status quo, deep inquiry...

8) They should be places where women get to be women - not little girls.

9) Private - although I'm going to break that rule, as all the images in this post are from my journal!

(Did you spot the vagina? Do you think I got away with it?!!!!)

Rant over.

Your thoughts? Has art journaling saved your life, or is it all a bit twee? Is it keeping women small and girly, rather than helping to empower them?

Singing over the bones

The Day of the Dead is fast approaching. So are the Days of All Saints and All Souls. Around a large proportion of the world, the houses and shops are decorated with skulls and skeletons, ghosts and ghouls.  These are the days where the living welcome the dead into their lives. When we remember.

As I went to sleep a voice in my head said "Bones, bones. You have to sift over the bones, before you can walk fully over the Rainbow Bridge."

http://pinterest.com/dreamingaloudnt/singing-over-the-bones/

This was not the same voice that says, "I want a tub of chocolate ice cream." So I listened.

And as synchronicity has it, today's activity, for the art course I am following online at the moment, was, you guessed it - bones...

I don't like bones, they spook me. They speak of death and emptiness, they scare me. But yet they call... "don't forget us, come, come and pay your respects to your ancestors, to your past selves. For those who have the courage to look, to sift the bones and the sand through their fingers, to hold the possibility of death  in their living hands. They will find the possibility of richer life, of wisdom, of healing."

"Call your soul back from every place that you have left portions of it." Hiro Boga 

And so I find myself looking back, sifting through the bones, so that I might mourn and release what has past, so that I might fully embrace my present: the person I have become. I find myself paying my respects to my ancestors, my lineage of teachers and mentors, friends and family.

This is not emotional. At least at first. More a seeing and a naming. And yet I find as my list grows each of these selves still has a tug on my heart, a feeling of maybe, what if. When seen so starkly they represent the death of possibility. But they show where the river took a different course, because the rains fell heavier, or less that year.

If things we different, who would I be?

The child of happily married parents who fitted in, sounded right and knew she belonged.
A woman who travelled to hippy communities and founded her own
A woman with a PhD 
A mother of four children 
A carefree spirit, unencumbered by family or spouse
A well-known cookery writer with her own TV show... I practiced it in the playground for years!
An anxious, depressed wreck, hospitalised and heavily medicated
A perfect mother and domestic goddess.

At some point I, and fate, decided that these were not to be the roads I was to travel. Part of me thinks it might be like the film Sliding Doors where all these past selves actually exist, perhaps in tandem, perhaps in other dimensions. I might, without knowing it walk past another self as I walk down the street. How great that sounds.

And so, this year, I draw flowers on the skeletons, to show from the midst of death, from the jaws of the past, springs new life, new colour, new growth. There are flowers and rainbows where death once held sway with bleached bones and dry desert. The rains fall down. The river runs. I walk over the Rainbow Bridge.

Come join me. Do you have the courage to sift through the bones of your past, to see the selves you might have been, to sit and drink tea with them, and then let them go and paint flowers on their faces?

http://pinterest.com/dreamingaloudnt/singing-over-the-bones/

La Loba (Wolf Woman), the old one, the One Who Knows, is within us. She thrives in the deepest soul-psyche of women, the ancient and vital Wild Woman. She describes her home as that place in time where the spirit of women and the spirit of wolf meet —the place where her mind and her instincts mingle, where a woman's deep life funds her mundane life. It is the point where the I and the Thou kiss, the place where women run with the wolves. 

The Creation Mother is always the Death Mother and vice versa. Because of this dual nature, or double-tasking, the great work before us is to learn to understand what around and about us and what within us must live, and what must die. Our work is to apprehend the timing of both; to allow what must die to die, and what must live to live.
You can dent the soul and bend it. You can hurt it and scar it. You can leave the marks of illness upon it, and the scorch marks of fear. 

But it does not die, for it is protected by La Loba in the underworld. She is both the finder and the incubator of the bones. 

People do meditation to find psychic alignment. That's why people do psychotherapy and analysis. That's why people analyze their dreams and make art. That is why many read Tarot cards, cast I Ching, dance, drum, make theater, pry out the poem, and fire up the prayer. That's why we do all the things we do. It is the work of gathering all the bones together. Then we must sit at the fire and think about which song we will use to sing over the bones, which creation hymn, which re-creation hymn. And the truths we tell will make the song. 

There are some good questions to ask till one decides on the song, one's true song:
What has happened to my soul-voice?What are the buried bones of my life?In what condition is my relationship to the instinctual Self?When was the last time I ran free?How do I make life come alive again?Where has La Loba gone to? 

Go back and stand under that one red flower and walk straight ahead for that last hard mile. Go up and knock on the old weathered door. Climb up to the cave. Crawl through the window of a dream. Sift the desert and see what you can find. It is the only work we have to do.

From Women Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes 

If I lived then...

Often, as I reflect on the life I live, the full, expressive, creative, glorious, self-determined, sensual life that I sometimes take for granted,  I am only too aware that...

If I lived in the Middle Ages I would be thought of as a witch, and probably burned at the stake.

Image: www.pinealeye.com

If I lived in the 18th Century  I could be in the paintings or poems ... but not creating them.

Image: Ingres

If I lived in the Victorian era I would be hysterical as I squeezed myself into corsets, bit my tongue, had dainty conversation and no sexual satisfaction.

Image: www.fashion-era.com

If I lived in Saudi Arabia/ Afghanistan/ Pakistan/ an American fundamentalist community today I would probably be stoned/ beaten/ silenced/ scorned/ condemned.

Image: www.undhimmi.com

But I live here and now and so I get to be me - mother, painter, free-spirited, freelancing writer, free thinking woman. One who speaks what she wants from her heart. Who follows her soul's longing. Who foments dissent against the authorities. Who encourages and helps to empower other women. Who has equality with her partner. Who can choose how many children she has. Who has money in her own bank account, that she spends on what she pleases.

And for that I am eternally grateful.

PS You might have noticed I've had a little redesign (if not, are you BLIND??!) - it's going all Creative Rainbow mama - let me know what you think in the comments below - and you will be in with a chance to win a copy of my brand new book, Moods of Motherhood (which has just gone off to the printers!)

PPS. Big, big news about my third book, The Rainbow Way - have you heard? Head over to the Dreaming Aloud Facebook page and see! Or sign up to the mailing list to make sure you never miss out on big news and reader discounts...

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The Dog's Vagina

Have you ever been hugged in your inbox?

I know, it sounds a bit dodgy. But it's wonderful.

You go to your inbox, expecting the usual deluge of penile enhancement...

(ASIDE) "Yo, mo-fo! I have a VAGINA! Get that, I don't need no enhancement. I have a dedicated pleasure organ all of my very own."

(I'm practicing vaginal liberation at the moment - well not ACTUAL liberation, cos I'd get arrested for that - but actually, you know, SAYING the word, out loud, so my heart doesn't race and I don't feel like puking in my bag and fainting, just because I named a body part. Seriously, my hands are shaking. VAGINA - ha! Take that!! Have you ever tried painting one. No, not your own - we're not talking vajazzles - we're talking actually taking a paint brush or a pen and doodling one - in a private note book - heart pounding at the thought? It's insane. I'm doodling a VAGINA a day to overcome the fear. Pink. Beautiful. Truly, nothing to be afraid of. Because seriously, teenage boys draw willies everywhere - on school desks, park benches, toilet doors and even on our village name sign - they OWN their magic wands. But us, we just cross our legs and keep up the pretense that there's nothing down there.)

So anyway, back to inboxes (getting my double-entendre there? Are ya? Are ya?)

You know when you go to your inbox - expecting the usual junk mail, Pay Pal receipts, round robin circulars and you wonder why you bother to check it anymore. And then, just as you're about to slash and burn your emails, you spot one from an unfamiliar name. And rather than trying to extort $10 million from you, they're saying wonderful, kind, appreciative loving things. Or perhaps it's your mum. Or your friend. Or an ex student (thank you Simon - see below!) And you go all warm and tingly and you think - ah! Lovely.

"Most impressed with 'Dreaming Aloud', I love both the concept and the design: it reaches out, gently takes you in for a hug and whispers in your ear! Ten out of Ten!"

Now, Simon would die if he read this (believe me, I know him, he would!), but this description of Dreaming Aloud is a bit like VAGINAs. According to Naomi Wolf's new book: VAGINA: a new biography,  VAGINAs do actually pull a man in to them when they are aroused and ready. Actively wanting to embrace their partner. 

So can I set you a challenge - go hug someone in their inbox right now. (Take that which ever way you want!) Go tell them how special they are. How much you appreciate their work. That you love them. That they, in your eyes, are the dog's VAGINA. (You see we don't even have a positive phrase with them in - so now it's coined!)

Because a woman, when she feels loved and appreciated, physically opens. Say a kind word and the VAGINA smiles. Her heart opens. The world is a better place. And all because of you.

And while you're at it, use the word VAGINA once today - with glowing eyes, knowing that truly there's nothing to be ashamed at and lots to love. (Go on, men folk, send your woman an email ode to her VAGINA - she will frame it in her heart for ever, and she will, no doubt, hug you with it later!)

For the record, this post was supposed to be about nice emails. But turned into a VAGINA liberation post - just in time for my appearance on the radio this evening!!!! Oh and the blogging course on Saturday - ah! wonderful!) I am the crazy VAGINA woman!

(How many times did I mention it? You don't think anybody noticed do you?!)

Lessons from the wise women of the web

You do not have to be good - just follow the hunger
 Heather Plett - who opens with the following quote from my favourite poet,  Mary Oliver -

You do not have to be good. 
You do not have to walk on your knees 
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. 
You only have to let the soft animal of your body 
love what it loves.

You are powerful beyond measure. Know that the feminine is rising in the world, in us all... 
The Happy Womb 

You are wise. You are strength.
The Spirit that Moves Me

Be powered by faith, courage, grace + self-kindness

Leonie Dawson.

Just let it go!
Birgit Kerr

Embracing the Magic of Moonlit Nights

Welcome to the July Mindful Mama Carnival: Mindfulness and Nature
This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ. This month our participants have shared their experiences of mindfulness and the natural world. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I remember the first time I really saw the stars. 

I was seven, visiting my cousins in America - and the summer sky seemed alive with a million twinkling dots, awe inspiring in their infinitude. The moon floated in glory and I felt so full of life. Amazed that I had never really seen the night sky. 

As a child the night was for being inside, for bedtime. I wasn't afraid of the dark, but nor was I shown its majesty.

And as an adult I seem to continue this pattern. As the darkness falls we retreat inside into our own cosy cocoons, forgetting the celestrial display of the skies above our heads. The nightly reminder of our position in the universe and the beauty of nature, of our precarious position on a tiny spinning globe of rock dancing amongst millions of others, of the pure chance or design, whichever your belief, of the very existence of life itself, let alone our own individual lives.  


And so I commit to two things this summer to bring the night into our lives. 
The first is to bring our children out and lie on our backs and look up at the stars. Just to be and to see.

And the second is to celebrate the full moon with other women every month. 

Since making the connection between the moon and my cycles when writing my book  Moon Time: A guide to celebrating your menstrual cycle,
I now find that I really feel the lack of the full moon in my life if I miss it one month. I find the full moon energising, illuminating even.

And I have, for a whole host of reasons, missed it now for a few months in a row. As a result my cycle shifted totally and my energy seemed to sink. 
  

A few months back a couple of friends and I met down on the beach on the full moon and did a gentle mindfulness ceremony - breathing in, feeling the sand beneath our feet, the wind in our hair, washing away the past month and visioning the new, blessing ourselves and each other (via a mama water fight!!) with an icy cold ocean blessing. The moon hid herself that night, but we all left the beach feeling connected to each other, ourselves and our place in the universe. Revitalised and invigorated from being together, from taking time for ourselves, in nature and with sisters.

So I am calling out to all mindful mamas far and near, to mark the full moon in whatever way speaks to you.

(You will notice that there are TWO full moons in August. This is a Blue Moon  -  the second full moon in a given month, this gives rise to the phrase "once in a blue moon" as it is very rare to have two full moons in a month!)

You might choose to:

• make and walk a labyrinth on the beach,
• light a bonfire and dance around it, 
• lie on the grass on your back, 
• sing together in harmony,
• go for a walk with your lover, 
• breathe mindfully by yourself, 
• pick flowers for yourself by moonlight,
• have a bubble bath by moonlight.

Do something that fills you with light.

I am making a commitment to myself, and all women in my local area to be out on our local beach, Shanagarry strand at moon rise for every full moon of the year from now on. Please do join me, spread the word - it would be so exciting for it to grow every month!

Resources:
Moon Time: a guide to celebrating your menstrual cycle - Lucy H Pearce
The Stargazers Handbook: an atlas of the night sky - Giles Sparrow
Earth Child - Games Stories, Activities, Experiments and Ideas about Living Lightly on Planet Earth - Kathryn Sheehad, and Mary Waidner
The Green Hour - Todd Christopher
http://www.moonphases.info

***

***
Visit The Mindful Mama Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!
On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy #MindMaCar hashtag. You can also subscribe to the Mindful Mama Twitter List and Mindful Mama Participant Feed.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Zen and the Art of Raising Chickens Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has found a connection to nature in her very own backyard, thanks to her chickens.
• Healing Gemstones and Crystals for Children Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses which genstones and crystals are best used by children to support physical, emotional, and/or spiritual healing.
• A Gardener’s Meditation Andrea at Tales of Goodness shares how she finds peace and renewal through gardening.
• Weeding My Thoughts Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro discusses how nature keeps her in the moment and stops her endless stream of thoughts.
• Grounded in Nature Rani at OmSheSaid shares her walk in nature, and through expressive words, shares this journey to coming home.
• Embracing the Magic of Moonlit Nights Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares ways to embrace the magic of moonlit nights with your children and as a woman.
• Meditation for a Mindful Mama Alinka at Baby Web guides you through her research on the science of meditation, its numerous benefits, and presents to you a life changing meditation exercise.
• The Wild Within Naturemummy at Motherhood: My Latest Adventure reflects on the soothing qualities of wild places.
• Nature’s Lessons in Mindfulness Tat at Mum in Search wants to bring the same mindfulness that comes so easily in nature to her relationships.
• On Manicured Nature: We Roam in Small Spaces Featherstory at The Aniweda Dream shares her gratitude for her limited natural settings and her plans to expand her children's experience with the natural world.
• Garden (Time Out) Meditation Do you ever need a time out for yourself? Amy at Anktangle finds that during a difficult parenting moment, taking pause to spend a few minutes outside is just the thing she needs to be able to experience renewed patience, focus, and energy.
• Nature Makes Me a Better Mother Terri at Child of the Nature Isle could not imagine parenting without Mother Nature.
• The Healing Power of Sunshine Karen at Playful Planet shares her experiences of reneweal in the natural world.
• Natural History Kenna at A Million Tiny Things gets out into nature, 200 years ago, and isn't sure she likes it there.
• Nurtured by Nature Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares with us how being in nature helps her feel centered and connected.
• Mindfulness and Nature Zoie at TouchstoneZ explores the connection between mindfulness and the natural world.
• A Sense of Awe and Wonder Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the feeling she never fails to get from the natural world and how it guides her to the mindfulness she craves.

Our matriarchal inheritance

This post is part of Mindful Money week. Do check out my previous posts.

"It is important for women to get wealth in our hands.
As western women we have the opportunity to claim our birthright, to create wealth, doing something that we love. 
It is our birthrite but not necessarily our destiny." 

Sage Lavine

FACT: The majority of women for the majority of western history have had no money of their own. They have been excluded from the power, status and freedom that money brings.

FACT: Women have been systematically prevented - by laws, morality, religion and social mores, from having the right to earn, be financially independent, inherit or save.

It is little wonder that we women can be scared of money and feel under-confident around it today.  This is our story. Our ancestors' story. This is our collective unconcious.

Our bodies have been bought in marriage with dowries, domestic servitude, prostitution and slavery. The fear of destitution has kept women in unhappy, abusive marriages for centuries.

We have given ourselves to mothering and householding, some of the most demanding work around, for free, for generations uncounted. Our sense of lack of deserving for putting real value to our work is endemic and has been reinforced from every side.

Now you may well be a feisty independent woman, with your own bank account and income and a partner totally committed to your blossoming. Scrub that! If you're reading this blog I know you are!  (Even if your inner confident girl is curled up and having a little sleep right now.)

So what's all this got to do with you? You've never been a slave or disinherited for being female...

But wait - most of us still, to some extent, hold the underlying inheritance, cultural, and epigenetic, of women's financial weakness.

Hell, research consistently shows that women are less likely to go for promotion, ask for a rise or apply for the highest paid jobs. In the wage earning community women. Women still earn 79% of every man's dollar. FOR THE SAME JOB.

This is not about man-bashing. I am a deep lover of men. (Some men especially, Mr DA ;) xxx) Nor is it a whine, blaming everything on history.

But it is part of our cultural and historical conditioning, an innate part of our thought processes. If we don't see this clearly, then we blame ourselves for our weakness, our stupidity.

And does that empower us?

Nope, it puts us back in our box. Like the abused blaming themselves for the abuse perpetrated against them.

The ugly duckling is in business

I have always identified with the ugly duckling. See these fluffy grey feathers? They've never quite fitted in. I've never been one thing or t'other.

Now let me tell you a secret: there is nothing more draining than being what you think you're supposed to be and then feeling you don't measure up. That you're always not quite good enough. When it turns out you just haven't seen yourself clearly. You've been using the wrong classification chart to identify your inner beast.

Excuse me for being thick. But I've just realised something which is a complete revelation to me... I am an entrepreneur.

Well, duh!

You could see that, right? As clear as the nose on my face, I'm guessing.

But me, I was thinking that I was a writer, who painted, and taught, and made chocolates on the side. And I wasn't good enough at any of them, a bit of a failure all round (welcome to my little inner carnival of self doubt.)

I have been in denial. And that has clipped my wings.

I have been repressing something that I am actually very good at: selling! Ha! Bet you didn't expect that! Truth be told, I didn't either. In fact I've been almost allergic to it in recent years.

Then within a week from all sides the scales were peeled from my eyes. Two weekend conferences in a row I, in the words of Maria Forleo, "hustled my buns off", selling Juno by the bag load, as well as lots of cards, books and dials. And I loved it. Felt absolutely on fire. Totally alive and connected. I'm really good at this...I chuckled to myself. I made money and my dear customer ladies went away happy, connected, inspired...

Then four people in a week mentioned entrepreneurship: my friend Sharon outed me first over tea and cake. Then Maria Forleo's awesome videos, the e book I'd Rather be in the Studio, and Kind Over Matter's wonderful new e book Zen and the Art of being a Work at Home Mama (which she is doing as a pay what you can deal!) 

 

She identified herself as being a forth generation entrepreneur and I thought, dammit, I'm a third generation one, of course!

It's in my blood: not just the creative genes which come from both sides three generations back. But yes, entrepreneurship. I see now that I have started about 10 businesses in the past 7 years: pregnancy yoga, chocolate making, freelance writing, wreath making, festival planning, self publishing... But each time I back off when the business needs come to the fore, the need to sell rears its head. I run for the hills: I'm just a little girl, I can't sell, my work isn't good enough, I'm not experienced enough, I don't deserve, please like me...

But something has shifted. I realised that they are all just voices. I wouldn't make my work if I didn't think it was good enough. But being my own biggest critic I'm burning up so much energy. Self doubt is like cutting off your own wings and then wondering why you can't fly.

You know what? The bullshit takes up too much time and energy that could be better spent making magic, having fun, making money...

So long bullshit!

My mind has shifted, and with it my energy too. I started my website as a place to sell my books. The books being the focus, not the selling or business sides. I resented the business bit for taking my time and energy away from the creating. But now I see, that's an integral part of the puzzle, of my identity, it's part of me, part of my work, part of my job. Because if people don't know about me and my work, if I don't tell them about it, I'm withholding something which they are looking for, wanting, needing.

Healing money, that's a whole other blog post. Taking back money from the broken model, from patriarchy if you like. Earning my worth as a woman on my terms, within a loving, sustainable business model. One which cares, which helps to feed transformation on a personal and social scale. Which supports me in being with my family and doing the creative work I love.

Hell yeah! The ugly duckling is in business!


This is part of the Mindful Money series at Dreaming Aloud. Take some time to check out the other posts on...

Naming Your Price

Our Matriarchal Inheritance
The Blessing of Money
Guilt
Finding your inner entrepreneur
Transformational Teachers
Beyond Money

Full moon rising

February 7th is this month's full moon. And I am looking forward to consciously celebrating. Tomorrow I will be taking part in Miranda Gray's Womb Blessing which I am looking forward to. And I will be heading outside and absorbing her glowing, positive, renewing, sustaining light.

Last month I was so deluged under bad nights' sleep, editing Moon Time and miserable winter weather that I didn't get out in the moonlight, the first time in many moons. And so perhaps for that reason alone, or all of them conbined, my cycle has realigned itself, mother moon having a gentle joke at my expense about my very limited human understanding, and the irony that I have just written an "authoritative" book on her unknowable mystery. So here I am, with my greater knowledge and awareness than ever before, with my beautiful moon dial mandala having just arrived (these will be available from the Happy Womb very soon), and for the first time since my cycles returned, not knowing where in my cycle I am!

Moon Dial Mandala - Created by Zoe Shekinah
http://www.earthlightcollective.com/silver.htm

But that is a true reflection of my state of creativity right now. I did a lot of extra work on Moon Time, so now I am in the situation of awaiting a proof once more, holding off on promoting it till I have a release date. Wating, still waiting to hear back from publishers on the Creative Rainbow Mama book, and wanting to be getting cracking on it again, doing more research for it, more digesting and dreaming. And yet I know that I need to allow enough energy for the final birthing pushes of Moon Time before immersing myself in the deep challenge of shaping all the content that I have for Creative Rainbow Mamas. I am between birth and gestation. I am planning a women's workshop with a dear friend for April, and organising promoting JUNO at the Irish Homebirth Conference, where I am hoping to interview Ina May Gaskin in person - wahoo!

This on top of two sick girlies, and going from nearly weaned to exclusively breastfeeding our two-year-old. I am so excited to have so many creative dreams coming to fruition these next few months. My painting course starts today. I am literally vibrating with excitement about all these strands of my life. But my body is not sure if it is coming or going. I am being creative, then being a full time mama, pulled back and forth like the tide between the twin moons of my creative babies and my flesh babies.

Where are you at dear reader, as the moon becomes her fullest? Do you find that your cycles respond so acutely to your life? Are you celebrating the full moon this month? 

Here it is....

At last.

After weeks of editing and seeking copyright permissions. It's here. The e-version of my new baby. My very first book.

 Moon Time: A guide to celebrating your menstrual cycle

For sale exclusively from

 www.thehappywomb.com

15% discount for the next two weeks 

£5.99

Usual price £6.99  (15% discount brings it to approximately $8.50/ €7.00)

ü  10% of proceeds go to The Red Tent Movie, 90% go to establishing East Cork’s first Red Tent.

ü  Consists of 118 A4 pages- bursting with inspiring and beautiful colour images – including my own photography, original artwork, examples of red tents and a simple moon dial.

ü  Read it on the go on your laptop or i-pad, or print it off at home.

ü  Ready to print PDF format.

ü  Cheaper cover price than the paperback, no postage to pay,  environmentally friendly.

ü  Instant delivery on payment, no need to wait for postage.

ü  Click through the internet links and resources directly.

The first 100 customers get a 25% discount voucher for the paperback version, so you can upgrade to hard copy for yourself, or give a copy to a friend. 

(This will be sent to you by email when the print version comes out in late February.)

OK, great sales pitch… but what’s the book about Lucy?

Well, this is the first of the Woman-craft TM collection of books, which will share the art of being a woman that your mother never taught you.

Chapters include:

• l  Our Cycles: Archetypal Insight
• l  PMT busters
• l  The seasons of Womanhood
• l  Menarche: First Periods
• l  Nutritional and Herbal Healing
• l  Putting the Moon back into Menstruation
• l  Finding our Voices
• l  Honouring Our Moon Time
• l  Red Tents and Moon Lodges

This beautifully written, highly practical guide shares:

• l  creative tools to help you celebrate your cycle
• l  rituals for self-care
• l  nutritional and herbal suggestions
• l  spiritual/ wise woman insight

It will empower you to experience:

• l  deeper harmony with yourself and your cycle
• l  natural ways of dealing with PMT
• l  a greater connection to the moon’s cycles
• l  ways to celebrate your daughter's impending womanhood
• l  the creation of your own red tent or moon lodge
• l  healthy, happy menstruation

Want to have a sneaky peek? The introduction and an integrated menstrual chart are available to view here.

Here’s what other women (heroines of mine!) are saying about it:

“Monumental… so important for women… Your book joins the momentum of changing the paradigms and shifting what will come.”

ALisa Starkweather, founder of Red Tent Temple Movement

OOO 

“A beautiful and inspiring book full of practical information and ideas.”

Miranda Gray, Red Moon

OOO

“Moon Time is a beautifully written resource for deepening your connection with your cycle. This book could change your life!”

Rachael Hertogs, editor of Thirteen Moons and author Menarche: A Journey to Womanhood

OOO

She is one of the special whisperers, who helps us to remember our own power and sacredness as played out in our cycles. Through her writing she initiates a dialogue with her readers. Her writing empowers her readers to have a voice to respond. This is a remarkable gift to us.”

Tracy Evans, PhD researcher on women's rites of passage, University of Aberystwyth

"'Moon Time' is a revelation! How could I be forty years old and know so little about a cycle that defines me? Reading this book felt like having a wise and loving older friend cherish me whilst guiding me through my most intimate world. This newfound insight gives me the emotional vocabulary to, in turn, cherish both myself and my three future-cycling daughters. What a beautiful gift to us all!" 

Meadhbh O'Leary

Thank you ALL for your support and enthusiasm for this project. I hope it brings you joy, balance, self acceptance, community and nurturance into your life.

www.thehappywomb.com

Of witches and wise women

At this time of witches, wizards, goblins and ghosties, I was reflecting on what I would dress up as. I always dress up as a witch. You know the rigmarole: black dress, pointy hat, big nose, ugly facial warts and a broomstick.

And this year I thought, actually, NO! No, I am not going to perpetuate this misogynistic myth.

She who has a hundred husbands

Yes. That's right. That really is the name of a new supplement I am taking which I cannot rave highly enough about. I first heard of it via the lovely Kate Magic Wood, our resident JUNO raw food columnist. Its Sanskrit name is Shatavari. It is a wild asparagus and one of the best women's herbs around, having been used in India for hundreds of years. According to one Ayurvedic website: "This herb is known to increase Sattva, or positivity and healing power. It also enhances the feelings of spiritual love, and increases Ojas." Come back skeptics, usually I'd be with you, running straight for the door at any claims to increase Ojas...

the leaves of the wild asparagus

It is a nutritive tonic, good for...
Women's menstrual health - balancing hormones, lightening bleeding, leveling mood. It is also good during the menopause, threatened miscarriage and infertility.
Supporting milk production and breastfeeding
Strengthening the libido.
And many more specific ailments such as peptic ulcers, and low sexual functioning in men.

As far as I have read it has no contraindicators. It is gentle but powerful. I feel a glow around me, an added strength of life force, and a shiny happy womb area and a very easy moon time! I feel really good in my body - I shan't tell you what happened when I reported these effects to my husband having just stepped out of the shower ;)

The blend I am taking comes from Pukka (my favourite herbal tea company) which also contains seaweed, ginger and spirulina to give you a boost.

and the roots!

I am not generally a supplement taker, or a tonic taker, as many frustrated friends who only want to help will tell you. But this, this is good. I could manage a hundred husbands with grace and aplomb. I'm now on the look out for "she who has a hundred children" I could do with a dose or two of that!


For more on it check these links
http://ayurveda-foryou.com/ayurveda_herb/shatavari.html
http://www.chopra.com/shatavari

Moonlight blessings

Full moon, fill me full...
of love, of courage, of delight.

Full moon fill me full of luminous magical moon light.

Harvesting hopes, visioning dreams

The wise women circle and sway

Points of light around the world
Gathering herbs and dancing in rounds
To welcome a brighter day

United in intention for love, for life,
For healing, for peace and for joy
Joy in our hearts, in our bodies and homes
A brighter tomorrow for all
For our children, our lovers, our sisters and brothers, our fathers and mothers, 

All others, 

Ourselves
All as one.

Something for the weekend: cosmic bodies!

“Between the idea

And the reality

Between the motion

And the act

Falls the Shadow”

– T.S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men

***

So things were kicking off in London - riots, looting, anger, destruction, which hit everyone who has any connection with the UK hard, and left everyone wondering why...

Part of it is social, part economic, part cultural and part is cosmic... check out this great post on why criminality begins in the womb, from a yoga teacher' perspective ...

Cosmic? Yup... If you're into astrology and 2012 at all, then you might appreciate this explanation for why everything feels so at sea at the moment, why old patterns are coming up, along with lots of mental sludge. Hey Allie gives an insight into the cosmic overview

The next 18 days are important with a capital I, and in ways I don’t think any of us can fully comprehend.

This Sunday - International Be good to Yourself Day!

Yesterday my book proposal headed off to its preferred publishers...

Our boxes are unpacked...

The sun is shining...

We're all healthy...

Hurray!!!!!

So I'm ready for the energy to flow even better.
I am ready to get jamming with the Universe!

So tomorrow, to mark Lughnasa, to mark the end of July, to mark a personal transition, I have set up all sorts of goodies for myself...

And am hereby dubbing it:  International Be Good to Yourself Day!


Make it a day full of yumminess, good friends, wonderful food, celebration, thanksgiving, being out in nature, reading an inspiring book, starting a dream, making peace with an enemy...

I have planned a day with my soul sister of reflection and celebration. Of looking back and letting go, of looking forward and pulling the good stuff in consciously. On the cliffs and by a bonfire. And yes, there is naked dancing planned round said bonfire!!

I am also joining up to not one, not two but three wonderful shiny e-courses run by the glorious shiny Goddess Leonie.

As a circle member I get all this goodness for one fixed price of $100 for the year. Click here to view more details Hurray for me!!!!

Or you can sign up and pay for a single course and see if you like.... (personally, cos I'm a tight-ass when it comes to money, I'd recommend the full circle membership because it is only a few dollars more for a whole year's worth of goodies, and you can pick and choose just what you need, when you need it - think of it as your own private safe full of treasure - and you have the code!)

NB: To those of you have have signed up already - this is a heads up to say
don't miss the goodies on offer starting tomorrow 31st July.
You've paid for them already - so eat 'em up! Bathe in the yumminess on offer! Be loving to yourself! Just sign up from your profile page on the Goddess Circle and you will be part of the goodness for free!

And to those who haven't come along for the ride - do join us!
For oodles of positivity, creativity, inspiration, mindful awareness, inner and outer health creation, meditations and affirmations...

Starting tomorrow we have...

•  Radiant Goddess E-course is a 21 day journey to discovering the radiant goddess in you. This e-course comes with nutrition and movement plans, meditations, a recipe plan & soulful goddess  projects to help you shine all over: mind, body and spirit!
Click here to view more details

• To get your creativity kick started she has the Creative Goddess E-course: a six week path to discover the creative goddess inside you with sacred creativity, meditations & projects. I'll be painting along to that!
Click here to view more details

• Join me on the Creating your Goddess Haven e-course: six weeks to create a home that inspires you with spirited interior design, divine decluttering & magical space-clearing.
Click here to view more details
• For lots and lots of feel-goodness I'll be hanging out at the 30 Days of Goddess course too
which appears to be for circle members only!
• And of course her wonderfully magnificent Business Goddess course which kick started me into writing my book - hurray!
Click here to view more details

Leonie says "All of them I stand behind whole-heartedly and whole-soully. I *know* after 4000 goddesses using these e-courses to change their lives that quite simply... they work."

And the word on the goddess circle, and in my own life is that the do - they help you to shift the sh*t and get into a positive zone and physical space.

Click here to view more details

With each e-course, you’ll receive meditations, videos, guidance and projects. You also get access to a private online message board for you to share your journey with other Goddesses on the journey! (And if you sign up via me, it costs you the same, but I get an affiliate thank you right back at me!)

I'm breathless with excitement.... 
Let the goodness roll in! May we make our lives fertile beds for wonder to grow and thrive in. May we, at this Lughnasa, the time of reaping the harvest, enjoy the fruits in our own lives!