With a song in my heart...

Never do anything without a song in your heart...

That is my new motto...

(I guess it's a little like the rather Disney-esque and puke-worthy "whistle while you work" - but I aint keeping house for seven tiny men, no siree!)

It feels like it's a little entitled. But I think, I feel it could work. You see we're about to start packing to go away for the weekend (our very fierce guard dog is remaining behind, dear burglar!) my dear husband can tell you this is a recipe for a VERY angry wife... it brings up MOST of my issues in one fell swoop...

*need to be in control

*inability to trust others

*knowing that if you do trust someone they'll fuck up

*resenting the rest of my family for not doing as much as me

*worrying about forgeting something

*childhood baggage about always packing and moving on

*anxiety about future unknowns in terms of eating and sleeping

Ohhh I feel all queasy just going through these...

So, the plan for today is to live my new wisdom,

Not the way of the martyr that I have observed in most women folk who I am close to. The way that leads to self-righteous anger, bitchiness, bullying, strops, tears, migraines, long silent spells punctuated by angry exchanges, slammed doors. It is a very strong female legacy which basically says “I WILL do it all, be damned for not supporting me, I will achieve greatness and YOU will pay the price!” And they do, but boy so do we. In illness, negativity and energy depletion.

So today,as I have for numerous other old flash points (parties, dinner parties etc) been applying this

“never do anything without a song in you heart.”

This means – don't start until you “feel it”, feel the love, the inspiration, the focus...

*Don't start with a feeling of anger, obligation, resentment.

*If you feel this STOP, refresh, feel this, deal with this.... off load your expectations and work load. Scale back!

*Ask yourself – why am I pushing this NOW. You WILL resist, at least at first and answer “because I HAVE too, IT HAS to be done, NOW, by ME...” this is the martyr voice, greet her with love and give her a cup of tea, a walk around the garden, a cuddle with someone who loves her... down this path lies the Crazy Woman (the flip side of the Creative Rainbow woman).

*Just for a moment, STOP and listen to your intuition...

*It may not be the right time... are you trying to fit too much in, do it in a rush, do it when you're distracted, too tired...

*It may not be the right thing... are we trying to force something which is not “meant to be”

*Perhaps we need support – is this something you could do WITH your kids, your friend, your partner, or is it something you could ask someone to DO FOR YOU! ( Now there's a real challenge.)

*Or are you in avoidance because you have anxious feelings about the forthcoming event that you are trying to suppress?

Deal with these things first, and then the energy, the sense of love and focus will emerge. Or you can carry on being a martyr! Sounds like fun!

I am sure you are familiar with the work of Japanese water scientist Dr Masaru Emoto, who showed that love and gratitude produce the most beautiful of all crystals in water. This is the effect that good energy has on ourselves, our families, our partners and the things we do. Act in anger, cause pain, act in love, with a song in your heart and cause beauty...

For more on this topic, see my post Cooking with Love

Right, off to start packing...I PROMISE I will stay mindful. We can always borrow socks or buy milk!