What was that?
That was my life.
Woooosh!
Zooming along at a million miles an hour. Doing twenty things at once. Distracted. Impatient. Rattling the cage bars. Come on, hurry up!
I have been watching myself this past week, noticing how I take on more and more projects, ideas, how the work piles up - the faster I do it, the more is waiting to be done. Just how many plates can I have spinning on sticks before they come crashing down. The deadlines are building up and breathing down my neck. Deadlines for projects I am excited about. That I really want to do. Yet in chorus they shriek and paw at me, threatening to maul me to death.
I recognise, perhaps a little belatedly, that I am a complete workaholic - like my father before me - and, I get a sense, his mother before him. I get my deepest pleasure and fulfillment from my work. And I exhaust myself doing it. Racing around. Being mindful...ly mad!
So much for the Year of Enough - it lasted about a week!!!
So, once more I am recommitting myself to it. Even if just for today!
"Before Buddha awakened under the Bodhi Tree, he wasn't dealing with
spam, computer viruses, voicemail, insurance claims, credit
ratings, childcare, coordinating busy schedules, or any of the
other complexities we face on a daily basis.
Human life has improved tremendously in so many important ways, and
yet in other respects, we face challenges to our serenity and
happiness that could scarcely have been dreamed of three thousand
years ago."
Integral Enlightenment email
I hear you, honey. I'm spinning so many plates I lost count. I'm just waiting to see what comes crashing to the floor first. Hopefully, though, both of us can mindfully stop some of them ourselves and save them for later. At least, that's what I'm trying out.
ReplyDeleteI feel like spinning in a merry-go-round, too - with so many things to do, to dream, to live, to plan, to attend, to take care of, to create, to invent, to manage, to remember...it's like you said: wooosh. Maybe it's time to take a little break. I like to get balanced at the end of the day, writing my thoughts in a journal. Or creating something, no matter how small. And meditating for a few minutes.
ReplyDeleteI totally feel like I am in wooosh mode; it feels a bit like an energy addiction. Or like I have adult onset ADD; either way enough is enough! Great post! Meditation and Reiki here I come...
ReplyDeletei hope you find balance soon.
ReplyDeletei discovered that it's the things we love doing that are most insidious in getting us to overdo. forgetting mindfulness, rest, recharging, the gentle details.
Thank yo all for your comments and empathy. Yesterday after I wrote this - I got a migraine. And so had to lie down in the middle of the day. Today I had a mid morning bath. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Breathing space!
ReplyDeleteLife is a journey and work in progress..isn't it?! I've been in that woooosh before and somehow life got my attention....either with a cold or something else that makes me half to rest for a day or two. And it's amazing when that happened.....it made me realize what truly is important bc when I was sick for a couple days...life went on without me.....so this was a big learning for me and in what is truly important to me and how I want to BE in my life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post and sharing your story :)
Oh god yes, whoosh and whoosh again. My days are so short, my lists are breeding (I am not, thank the lord) Yesterday I sat down accidentally, and found myself pretending to be a famous ventriloquist from the 80's with my son's duck puppet and in a few seconds we all relaxed, from 13 year old to 4 year old, and forgot to rush again for at least half an hour. Bliss.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it so hard to remember to stop? Beats me
*raises hand* Me too! I'm left asking what my priorities are, and how on earth to prioritise one awesome thing over another awesome thing.. or, more realistically, one awesome thing that I'm soooo excited about(!) and another awesome thing that feels like a millstone but that I've committed to doing and really can't get out of. *sigh*
ReplyDeletei soooo hear you on this one. it has been my major practice these days - to slow down. to BE HERE NOW and to not miss the life going on right before my very eyes. i wrote about it a while back on this post: http://freespiritknits.blogspot.com/2011/10/where-are-we-rushing-to.html
ReplyDeletethanks for visiting my blog recently. happy we've connected!