May you find new growth, new joy, may the sap rise in your veins and the green shoots unfurl in your creativity, health and all aspects of your life.
May the crack in your own cosmic egg release the gold that lies within.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Swallowing god
This is what came to me. When I pondered my thoughts and feelings on the last post about whether I needed to lose weight.
Rather than starve myself, and punish myself for being greedy, fat, lazy, as I previously always have in my body image journey - rather I want to fill myself full of life, of flow, of glowingness, of godforce. Rather than diminish myself by dieting, I continue my practice, and deepen it. I choose life, all of my life - not just honing the surface to please others. Nor the scales to please the charts and books. But my, complete, entire self - which in this lifetime is built in flesh, bones, blood and organs. All of these deserve the best care I can give them as an expression of my commitment to myself, to life, and as an expression of gratitude for life.
I have learnt this past year, that when you don't know what to do you 1) ask the audience and 2)ask yourself - you frame this question as though you were asking your older, wiser or higher self, or as if you were being your own best friend.
And what came to me when I approached it was that it is really important for me not to approach this as an eating thing. I have come quite a way with my disordered eating, and need to honour that this is a tricky area for me. I need to instead take the opportunity for deep, profound, loving self care. To become more mindful in my body, my consumption. To be here, in my body, now.
Sounds easy. It is what I most struggle with.
I discovered a couple of months ago in an energy book called Light Emerging that my "energy body" type is schitzoid - which means that long ago when times were tough, I learnt to escape my body, to disappear off through my head, to not be in the room, or my body. When I feel anxious (which is quite a lot when you are an anxious personality type) one of my ways of soothing myself, comforting myself back into coping with reality is through food. One dear reader-friend pointed out that this is also a way of boosting oxytocin levels - especially by eating sweet things - which is totally spot on.
I have gotten much better at not running for chocolate, alcohol or bingeing on sweet things when I am frazzled or running on adrenal burnout. But I acknowledge that this is the function these foods play and have been needed for - grounding and bringing me back from my shocked, out-of-body state.
So this is what I need to learn, gently, to do for myself - to keep myself here, more in my body, rather than bringing myself back with food.
In the intensity of mothering, with full on demanding two and three year olds I find this my biggest challenge. I am overwhelmed, I request escape, am not granted it, so physically or mentally escape, and they haul me back in. To me when my nervous system is aroused the world feels too much to bear - I need out.
I came across a useful practice just two days ago I which you mentally drop a line down from your spine in to the earth and drip all the negativity and anxiety which you do not want or need down into the earth. It is a very effective grounding exercise which I will be practicing as often as I remember. Ditto breathing consciously. Feeling my feet rooted in the earth. Drinking water or herbal tea.
And moving. I am going to try some belly dancing along to You Tube tutorials :). I have wanted to belly dance for so long and the local classes I went to last year were a real disappointment. So I will be doing that for flexibility and toning, joy, pleasure and self expression. And now that dear Mr Dreaming Aloud has fixed my bike, and the evenings are getting lighter, more cycling - I love to head off on my bike, a freedom denied me for years by the ties of motherhood - I have such happy memories of whizzing round Kyoto and Cambridge - some of my happiest, slimmest and fittest times - all to do with cycling, not controlling my eating.
And I will add, as the season unfolds, more and more freshness to my life and diet. I yearn for a couple of days fasting, a practice I used to do pre kids - but am not sure I can manage it whilst mama-ing - perhaps on a work day.
Today is the women's ceremony part of Wilde Tribe - which for me is an extended, and deeply feminine part of the Birth 2012 experience. Indigo Bacal, the founder, suggests we each commit to something which will impact our lives and that of the world beyond today, this full moon, for the next forty days. So me, I commit to deep, loving, joyous self care. To deeper embodied living, and loving of this physical form that I call home.
Will you join me in committing yourself to something of value to yourself and the world for forty days? How might you care for yourself more fully? What is your life calling out to you for? Will you answer the call? Will you be your own best friend?
PS It's coming at me from all angles - Dr Christiane Northrup's newletter just arrived saying this...
Rather than starve myself, and punish myself for being greedy, fat, lazy, as I previously always have in my body image journey - rather I want to fill myself full of life, of flow, of glowingness, of godforce. Rather than diminish myself by dieting, I continue my practice, and deepen it. I choose life, all of my life - not just honing the surface to please others. Nor the scales to please the charts and books. But my, complete, entire self - which in this lifetime is built in flesh, bones, blood and organs. All of these deserve the best care I can give them as an expression of my commitment to myself, to life, and as an expression of gratitude for life.
I have learnt this past year, that when you don't know what to do you 1) ask the audience and 2)ask yourself - you frame this question as though you were asking your older, wiser or higher self, or as if you were being your own best friend.
And what came to me when I approached it was that it is really important for me not to approach this as an eating thing. I have come quite a way with my disordered eating, and need to honour that this is a tricky area for me. I need to instead take the opportunity for deep, profound, loving self care. To become more mindful in my body, my consumption. To be here, in my body, now.
Sounds easy. It is what I most struggle with.
I discovered a couple of months ago in an energy book called Light Emerging that my "energy body" type is schitzoid - which means that long ago when times were tough, I learnt to escape my body, to disappear off through my head, to not be in the room, or my body. When I feel anxious (which is quite a lot when you are an anxious personality type) one of my ways of soothing myself, comforting myself back into coping with reality is through food. One dear reader-friend pointed out that this is also a way of boosting oxytocin levels - especially by eating sweet things - which is totally spot on.
I have gotten much better at not running for chocolate, alcohol or bingeing on sweet things when I am frazzled or running on adrenal burnout. But I acknowledge that this is the function these foods play and have been needed for - grounding and bringing me back from my shocked, out-of-body state.
So this is what I need to learn, gently, to do for myself - to keep myself here, more in my body, rather than bringing myself back with food.
In the intensity of mothering, with full on demanding two and three year olds I find this my biggest challenge. I am overwhelmed, I request escape, am not granted it, so physically or mentally escape, and they haul me back in. To me when my nervous system is aroused the world feels too much to bear - I need out.
I came across a useful practice just two days ago I which you mentally drop a line down from your spine in to the earth and drip all the negativity and anxiety which you do not want or need down into the earth. It is a very effective grounding exercise which I will be practicing as often as I remember. Ditto breathing consciously. Feeling my feet rooted in the earth. Drinking water or herbal tea.
And moving. I am going to try some belly dancing along to You Tube tutorials :). I have wanted to belly dance for so long and the local classes I went to last year were a real disappointment. So I will be doing that for flexibility and toning, joy, pleasure and self expression. And now that dear Mr Dreaming Aloud has fixed my bike, and the evenings are getting lighter, more cycling - I love to head off on my bike, a freedom denied me for years by the ties of motherhood - I have such happy memories of whizzing round Kyoto and Cambridge - some of my happiest, slimmest and fittest times - all to do with cycling, not controlling my eating.
And I will add, as the season unfolds, more and more freshness to my life and diet. I yearn for a couple of days fasting, a practice I used to do pre kids - but am not sure I can manage it whilst mama-ing - perhaps on a work day.
Today is the women's ceremony part of Wilde Tribe - which for me is an extended, and deeply feminine part of the Birth 2012 experience. Indigo Bacal, the founder, suggests we each commit to something which will impact our lives and that of the world beyond today, this full moon, for the next forty days. So me, I commit to deep, loving, joyous self care. To deeper embodied living, and loving of this physical form that I call home.
Will you join me in committing yourself to something of value to yourself and the world for forty days? How might you care for yourself more fully? What is your life calling out to you for? Will you answer the call? Will you be your own best friend?
PS It's coming at me from all angles - Dr Christiane Northrup's newletter just arrived saying this...
If you’ve read, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom you know there is a chapter about flourishing. One of the steps I describe is getting clear about your past so you can identify any subconscious beliefs you have that no longer serve you. Your family’s outlook on health and aging, coupled with your family history is a good place to start. For example, when you were young, you may have noticed that your grandparents took a lot of different medicines or that they died in the hospital. Without realizing it, you may think that this is the natural aging process. Although it may be common, it’s not “natural.” My mother is 86, takes no medication, and was healthy enough to hike to Mt. Everest Basecamp about a year and a half ago!
One belief I encourage you to update (if necessary) is the belief that Western medicine—drugs, surgery, and technology—hold the answers to most all health concerns. Of course, these have their place and are wonderful for treating true emergencies. But a system that focuses only on treating symptoms with drugs, excessive medical testing, and surgery for potential problems is not a better healthcare system. Whether or not you admit it, you can always improve your health by working with the wisdom of your body. There just is no substitute!
In my last blog, “The Missing Piece of the Diabetes Puzzle”,
I shared an insight that’s ahead of its time. One of the reasons for
the rampant rise in type-2 diabetes is that the range for normal blood
sugar is too high. Now that I’ve exposed this little known fact, I want
to also offer ways for you to manage your blood sugar. Click here to read Puzzle Solved: Easy Tips for Healthy Blood Sugar. Here’s one of the suggestions in this month’s blog:
Exercise helps. When
you are stressed, the excess cortisol produced by the body is designed
to help you run away from the threat! When there were tigers to run
from, the body used the cortisol to flee. The problem is that, today,
our stresses are not the kind you can run away from. So instead of
running from the tiger, do ten minutes of exercise.
I know this topic isn’t
particularly sexy. And I know many changes require commitment and
discipline, which isn’t too appealing. But following the advice I give
in Puzzle Solved: Easy Tips for Healthy Blood Sugar
is true preventive medicine. And incorporating even half of these tips
will help you set the stage for better health on many levels.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Less than what we naturally are
My biggest struggle at the moment is the one against myself.
It is an old familiar one that I have had as long as I can remember.
I am bigger than the world expects a woman to be. Bigger than normal. not massive. But not "slim". I used to be able to justify this with the sequitur "but I'm not obese".
But now I can't.
According to my BMI I am.
And according to my three-year-old. "You're fat!"
She informed me the other morning. Ungrateful sod, my mama brain growled, this fat grew you and fed you and hugs you even when you're being a brat.
She's officially "right".
And yet I feel the best in my body that I ever have. I wear funky clothes that sing my soul to the world. Rather than the "fat clothes" I wore at two stone lighter. When I was 16 and "normal" according to every chart in the book, I felt fat. At my lightest, on my wedding day I could not eat properly. I felt fat still in places. Now four and a half stone heavier I feel good. I have been wondering whether to ask my doctor if I need to take action, or relax... but it seems so trivial - to him.
But it's not just about feelings is it? If being "obese" is bad for my health then I need to lose weight. However good I feel about myself. However well I (generally) eat. Despite the fact that I am active, though not sporty, I am not as healthy as I could be. My cake pounds could be putting a strain on my organs, beckoning diabetes my way perhaps.
Looking in the mirror I don't think I look obese. Sure, I hate my double chin which finds its way into every photo, and the tummy which looks like the empty baby pouch it is. But mostly I look like a juicy woman with curves in ALL the right places, mama!
If I lose weight, then comes the social approval because we (women) are "supposed" to be slim. We're supposed to not take up to much space. To apologise for our existence by being quiet and thin. When I start to lose weight the self hatred and judgement and playing food games in my head also begin. I stop being my own friend, and instead my body, my appetites become the enemy.
I am the size I am because I have a large appetite. I eat well. I am a social eater and this is challenging when there is always food around. I eat differently because I am feeding children. I have carried three babies in quick succession and have had almost seven years of extreme sleep deprivation that most people can barely imagine. Not to mention breast feeding. My spare time goes into creativity not pounding the treadmill. But I walk and ride my bike, as any one car family understands. As the days of little kids and walking at a snails pace with kids dragging of me fades so , I think, will a few of the "excess" pounds.
So here's the battle. I feel like I should be taking action to stop my weight continuing to rise as it has in the past year. But I have no desire to be thin to please others or excuse myself or fit in or look good on the beach. Those days are gone. I want to be OK in my fullness in my curvaceous feminine shape. Not taming my deliciousness and starving my desires because that's what our society believes women should do. I don't want to be less myself in any way...
I am not fishing for nice words - nor looking for a fat bitch slap. I'm looking for reality. And to know how you walk this road yourself...
Discuss!
It is an old familiar one that I have had as long as I can remember.
I am bigger than the world expects a woman to be. Bigger than normal. not massive. But not "slim". I used to be able to justify this with the sequitur "but I'm not obese".
But now I can't.
According to my BMI I am.
And according to my three-year-old. "You're fat!"
She informed me the other morning. Ungrateful sod, my mama brain growled, this fat grew you and fed you and hugs you even when you're being a brat.
She's officially "right".
And yet I feel the best in my body that I ever have. I wear funky clothes that sing my soul to the world. Rather than the "fat clothes" I wore at two stone lighter. When I was 16 and "normal" according to every chart in the book, I felt fat. At my lightest, on my wedding day I could not eat properly. I felt fat still in places. Now four and a half stone heavier I feel good. I have been wondering whether to ask my doctor if I need to take action, or relax... but it seems so trivial - to him.
But it's not just about feelings is it? If being "obese" is bad for my health then I need to lose weight. However good I feel about myself. However well I (generally) eat. Despite the fact that I am active, though not sporty, I am not as healthy as I could be. My cake pounds could be putting a strain on my organs, beckoning diabetes my way perhaps.
Looking in the mirror I don't think I look obese. Sure, I hate my double chin which finds its way into every photo, and the tummy which looks like the empty baby pouch it is. But mostly I look like a juicy woman with curves in ALL the right places, mama!
If I lose weight, then comes the social approval because we (women) are "supposed" to be slim. We're supposed to not take up to much space. To apologise for our existence by being quiet and thin. When I start to lose weight the self hatred and judgement and playing food games in my head also begin. I stop being my own friend, and instead my body, my appetites become the enemy.
I am the size I am because I have a large appetite. I eat well. I am a social eater and this is challenging when there is always food around. I eat differently because I am feeding children. I have carried three babies in quick succession and have had almost seven years of extreme sleep deprivation that most people can barely imagine. Not to mention breast feeding. My spare time goes into creativity not pounding the treadmill. But I walk and ride my bike, as any one car family understands. As the days of little kids and walking at a snails pace with kids dragging of me fades so , I think, will a few of the "excess" pounds.
So here's the battle. I feel like I should be taking action to stop my weight continuing to rise as it has in the past year. But I have no desire to be thin to please others or excuse myself or fit in or look good on the beach. Those days are gone. I want to be OK in my fullness in my curvaceous feminine shape. Not taming my deliciousness and starving my desires because that's what our society believes women should do. I don't want to be less myself in any way...
I am not fishing for nice words - nor looking for a fat bitch slap. I'm looking for reality. And to know how you walk this road yourself...
Discuss!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
This moment
Sore ankle
*
House a tip
*
Spring springing
*
Mandala art with kids
*
Snotty high needs toddler with no nappy farting at me and laughing
*
*
Technicolour painting fantasies
*
Mama pride in a very talented creative boy
*
Rainbow girls
*
Anticipating a Happy Womb face lift - ahhhhhhhhhh!
*
Moon time self care
*
Naked kung fu
*
Boy saying "fuck" to Grandma
Sunday, April 1, 2012
A Quarter of Miracles
As we cross into the next quarter of the year, moving towards the sun and full blossoming. I want to take a moment to reflect just how far this last quarter has brought me...
It is almost unbelievable.
Do you remember, dear reader, this desperado mama who had to escape, who needed a creative retreat, who one dear commenter suggested might need anti depressants. Yes, that was me!
But the very next day I had a realisation - that I needed to let myself out of my box and do my thang! I declared this the year of abundant rainbows. And boy has it been. And it feels like it's only just beginning!
In the past three months I have:
Oh mama, how wrong, you'd be. I really feel like I've earned every little bit this last few years.
Let me take you by the hand, three years back. When life was not so rosy. When I felt very wobbly in myself, in my marriage and threatened to disappear. We were living unhappily at my husband's parents house. Just getting my first article published, what an enormous achievement that was, and then another surprise baby. I wanted space, community, beauty, depth, spirit, creativity, my own life in my own image. Instead I felt clipped, held, restrained, unsure, angry...
Something,no, everything had to change. And so I commited myself to it. Act by act. Doing what I could, with what I had, where I was.
Since then we have bought our own house and created our own garden. I have been on anti-depressants - and off again quickly. I have claimed my need to creative work - space and time, I have started to paint and teach again after years of crippling anxiety over them both. I have turned around very challenging relationships with my daughter and my own mother, and continue to work on other deeply challenging relationships. Grown a strong, loving and secure partnership with my husband and with a number of deeply special friends. Become a published author in a topic that is deeply meaningful to many women. I have asked for permission to use the tea house. Founded a women's group of precious women which has held and supported me every step of the way and taught me about true community. Every dream that I articulated there has come to be.
There are many more challenges ahead. But for now, let me stand at the top of this mountain and say I feel truly blessed.
It is almost unbelievable.
Do you remember, dear reader, this desperado mama who had to escape, who needed a creative retreat, who one dear commenter suggested might need anti depressants. Yes, that was me!
But the very next day I had a realisation - that I needed to let myself out of my box and do my thang! I declared this the year of abundant rainbows. And boy has it been. And it feels like it's only just beginning!
In the past three months I have:
- Launched my first book - to greater success than I dared to hope! Over 120 paperbacks are out in the world in just one month, in over 10 countries! And set up international online stockists!
- Learned to enjoy selling my work!
- Done some serious spring cleaning in most of my closest relationships - and come closer, clearer and more honest with those who are dearest to me
- Started painting again ... and set the wheels turning for my first exhibition (to be held at Stephen Pearce Pottery in June
- Made some headway in my mama-ing which I was beginning to despair of with some great new practices
- Put my woman-craft teaching out there and have my first course booked
- Been asked to teach what I love at a prestigious place, right next door to my house - blogging at the Ballymaloe Cookery School!
- Really enjoyed my two working days a week - REALLY enjoyed
- Interviewed my biggest heroine - Ina May Gaskin - who I will be meeting in person at the end of the month
- Had a really great rejection letter for one book, and an acceptance for my submission to another (the Rhythm of the Home BOOK)
- Had work published in : Modern Mum, Juno, The Irish Examiner,
- Had a photograph accepted for the 2013 Earth Pathways Diary (the third year in a row)
- Found more balance in my life - despite all these busy sounding achievements, I have enjoyed more calm, balance and headspace and down time than I have in years, thanks to my two satisfying work days and shaking my creative tail-feather with joy. My life is full of picnics, good friends, days on the beach, cake and cocktails, a loving husband!
Oh mama, how wrong, you'd be. I really feel like I've earned every little bit this last few years.
Let me take you by the hand, three years back. When life was not so rosy. When I felt very wobbly in myself, in my marriage and threatened to disappear. We were living unhappily at my husband's parents house. Just getting my first article published, what an enormous achievement that was, and then another surprise baby. I wanted space, community, beauty, depth, spirit, creativity, my own life in my own image. Instead I felt clipped, held, restrained, unsure, angry...
Something,no, everything had to change. And so I commited myself to it. Act by act. Doing what I could, with what I had, where I was.
Since then we have bought our own house and created our own garden. I have been on anti-depressants - and off again quickly. I have claimed my need to creative work - space and time, I have started to paint and teach again after years of crippling anxiety over them both. I have turned around very challenging relationships with my daughter and my own mother, and continue to work on other deeply challenging relationships. Grown a strong, loving and secure partnership with my husband and with a number of deeply special friends. Become a published author in a topic that is deeply meaningful to many women. I have asked for permission to use the tea house. Founded a women's group of precious women which has held and supported me every step of the way and taught me about true community. Every dream that I articulated there has come to be.
There are many more challenges ahead. But for now, let me stand at the top of this mountain and say I feel truly blessed.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Funding my habit...
You know I love painting, right? In fact I spent the whole of today painting, and looked up and it was five o' clock already. Thought I'd share the pics, before I tell you my big plan!
Painting has become quite a habit, and not a cheap one. So like any addict, I need to find a way to fund my habit...
So, I have decided to do my very first, very own painting exhibition. Woohoo! Rainbow streamers!
Now this is top secret news - between you and me, because I haven't asked the venue yet...and they don't read this blog - but they'd better say yes because they're family and my paintings rock!
So there you have it - the year of abundant rainbows is where its at - painting - and making some moolah from it ... hopefully!
Plan to sell the paintings themselves and greetings cards made from them there - and I might just zap an etsy store together so the online world can buy prints and cards - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Painting has become quite a habit, and not a cheap one. So like any addict, I need to find a way to fund my habit...
So, I have decided to do my very first, very own painting exhibition. Woohoo! Rainbow streamers!
Now this is top secret news - between you and me, because I haven't asked the venue yet...and they don't read this blog - but they'd better say yes because they're family and my paintings rock!
So there you have it - the year of abundant rainbows is where its at - painting - and making some moolah from it ... hopefully!
Plan to sell the paintings themselves and greetings cards made from them there - and I might just zap an etsy store together so the online world can buy prints and cards - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Mindful mama moon time
Welcome to the March Mindful Mama Carnival: Mindful Mama Challenge
This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ. This month our participants have challenges they've set for themselves toward becoming more mindful. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***
Over the past four years I have become more attuned to my cycles. Over the past year I have become more attuned to the moon's cycles. For the past six months I have been weaving the two together. The impact on my life, and my family's life has been profound.
I started by focusing on the full moon. By absorbing the high energy during my ovulation and retreating at the dark moon. I had the most common "white moon" cycle - bleeding on the dark moon, ovulating on the full moon. At ovulation I knew I would be full of energy from both the moon's phase, and my own hormonal balance. As the moon waned, my mood darkened and I would need to retreat, need to take more time to myself, need to remind myself that I wasn't actually angry at the children, but just pre-menstrual and needing more quiet, more head space. In this way I could be more gentle and loving with myself, and therefore with my children, rather than perceiving them as "the problem". I knew where I was at with myself. It felt good. So different from the intense, out of control mood-swings of PMS when I had got my periods back after our second child.
I had been considering stocking them on my website, and had ordered a sample to check it for quality. It could not have arrived at a more opportune time. My moon time arrived on the same day! I turned Day 1 on the outer petals to align with the phase of the moon: full. Then jotted on the first petal the day's date and my symptoms. Then I aligned the inner dial to the Wise Woman phase, and the middle one to the month of the year. Now I had a beautiful, visual reminder to help me keep track.
This has been my (almost) daily practice since: a simple way of checking in with myself, and with the moon, of grounding myself once more in my own rhythms and those of the heavens.
This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ. This month our participants have challenges they've set for themselves toward becoming more mindful. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***
Over the past four years I have become more attuned to my cycles. Over the past year I have become more attuned to the moon's cycles. For the past six months I have been weaving the two together. The impact on my life, and my family's life has been profound.
I started by focusing on the full moon. By absorbing the high energy during my ovulation and retreating at the dark moon. I had the most common "white moon" cycle - bleeding on the dark moon, ovulating on the full moon. At ovulation I knew I would be full of energy from both the moon's phase, and my own hormonal balance. As the moon waned, my mood darkened and I would need to retreat, need to take more time to myself, need to remind myself that I wasn't actually angry at the children, but just pre-menstrual and needing more quiet, more head space. In this way I could be more gentle and loving with myself, and therefore with my children, rather than perceiving them as "the problem". I knew where I was at with myself. It felt good. So different from the intense, out of control mood-swings of PMS when I had got my periods back after our second child.
But then two months ago when my Moon Time book was at the publishers, and I was feeling full of understanding of my cycle and all women, my cycle flipped to a red moon cycle - bleeding at the full moon, ovulating at the new moon. And what's more, the full moon hid behind winter clouds for two months.
Suddenly I could not look up and know where I was. I felt at sea. Neither rooted in my body wisdom, or the moon's cycles. I felt wobbly and unsure. My PMS felt more out of control.
I needed an aide de memoire to help me to re-connect to where I was in both cycles. Enter the moon dial.
Suddenly I could not look up and know where I was. I felt at sea. Neither rooted in my body wisdom, or the moon's cycles. I felt wobbly and unsure. My PMS felt more out of control.
I needed an aide de memoire to help me to re-connect to where I was in both cycles. Enter the moon dial.
This has been my (almost) daily practice since: a simple way of checking in with myself, and with the moon, of grounding myself once more in my own rhythms and those of the heavens.
An interesting addition to this has been noticing how the moon seems to effect the children too. The full moon energises them, and yet, on a red moon cycle, my energies are low at this time as I am bleeding. This is a challenging energetic dichotomy, but again, one which now I am mindful of it, becomes easier to manage without blame and anger, but simply by observing.
And so as I write, I am trying to consciously shift my cycle back to the white moon phase, as I feel much more attuned to myself, the moon's energy and my children's energies, when I ovulate at full moon. We are bringing full moon celebration into our family's monthly life together. As well as celebrating on the blog, the children and I observe the moon together as she waxes, guestimating when she will be full once more. Last month we went down to the beach, drew a labyrinth in the sand and walked it together, before singing, strolling and dancing in the moonlight. Next month we are planning a ceremonial fire in our garden.
Are you attuned to your own cycle, and to the moon? Have you any experience with realigning your cycle and any wisdom you can share from your experiences?
***
Visit The Mindful Mama Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!
On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy #MindMaCar hashtag. You can also subscribe to the Mindful Mama Twitter List and Mindful Mama Participant Feed.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
Visit The Mindful Mama Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy #MindMaCar hashtag. You can also subscribe to the Mindful Mama Twitter List and Mindful Mama Participant Feed.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- The Importance of a Moment Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama reflects on the need to slow down and breathe in life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
- Mindful Playing With My Daughters Rani at Om She Said looked at her girls and realized that more than anything they wanted her right there next to them, playing, laughing, creating, and having fun; that's exactly what she did!
- Watch Your Words Patti at Canadian Unschooler challenges herself to make her words a reflection of her intentions.
- The Mindful Benefits of Knitting Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares how knitting has helped lift her out of depression and has given her a new form of meditation.
- Self Compassion: How Thinking About Bad Experiences Can Make You Happier and More Compassionate CJ at Imperfect Happiness challenges herself to be more compassionate...with herself.
- Calming the Home Environment by Selecting Traditional Toys Sam at Love Parenting discusses the benefits of natural toys.
- Quieting my Infernal Inner Ramblings Tree at Mom Grooves writes about her commitment to get out of her head and into the moment with her daughter and husband.
- Changing Our Everyday The Aniweda Dream is sizing up the changes they’ve made by moving across the country and looking at how to make their lives more mindful as a family.
- A Mindful Cup of Tea Amy at The Daily Muttering tells how she's trying to regain control of her life with the chaos of 3 kids thanks to the introduction of a simple daily ritual.
- Mindful Mama Moontime Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares how becoming conscious of her moon time has helped her find balance in herself as a woman, and a mama.
- Speaking to the Need Shana at Tales of Minor Interest shares how she tries to stay mindful of her preschooler’s needs.
- Going Within Amy at Anktangle describes a centering practice she's been being more intentional about lately, and which she has come to realize is a precious gift in her life.
- Waking Up With Meditation Amy at PresenceParents shares how awakening with presence carries her through the day.
- Mindful Meditations Zoie at TouchstoneZ explores six weeks of seated meditation and discovers some things she doesn't expect.
- Mindfulness in the Kitchen - an Everyday Challenge Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she’s been challenging herself to involve more mindfulness in everyday tasks - especially in the area of cooking for her family.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sun-Day Blessings
An unseasonably warm weekend. A bonfire barbecue last night shared with friends: spatchcock chicken with rosemary, lemon and garlic, sausages, summer salads and marshmallows toasted on sticks. Washed down with a glass - or three- of Pimms.
Another sunny day today. Morning has broken, like the first morning...Whizzing down the road to the beach and a labyrinth in the sand ( wont you join me) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF3qaZuzJhs
Finding a way forward in family communications using the tools of council sharing which I have learnt from women's group.
And now for a couple of hours quiet painting.
My gratitude for all this overflows. None of it is inevitable.
Holding in my heart the mothers in Toulouse. May they let themselves be wrapped in the Madonnas cloaks of all the women encircling them as they grieve.
Another sunny day today. Morning has broken, like the first morning...Whizzing down the road to the beach and a labyrinth in the sand ( wont you join me) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF3qaZuzJhs
Finding a way forward in family communications using the tools of council sharing which I have learnt from women's group.
And now for a couple of hours quiet painting.
My gratitude for all this overflows. None of it is inevitable.
Holding in my heart the mothers in Toulouse. May they let themselves be wrapped in the Madonnas cloaks of all the women encircling them as they grieve.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Joy Pockets
Feeling the global feminine energy of transformation rising
***
My sister's maple and pecan cake
***
Compulsive honesty
***
Kissing baby cheeks
***
Curry night
***
Painting with my fingers
***
Cherry blossom picnic
***
A sneaky, unforseen last breastfeed, six weeks after weaning
***
Getting going on books two and three - and feeling proud of them!
***
Ina May Gaskin - a living legend
***
Anticipation of Friday night comedy on TV
***
Another friend is a new mama
All in a morning's work...
Three kids breakfasts.
Two packed lunches.
One pooey nappy.
1000 more words of Creative Rainbow mama book written
30 questionnaires cut up and categorised by chapter - thank you all you dear Creative Rainbow mamas who contributed.
And, of course, these...
I think I deserve my lunch!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Conception 2012 - Vision for a new world
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead
To create consciously requires four things: vision, an impulse to create, a willingness to surrender to the creative power and action.
I invite you all to join me in visioning the sort of world you want to live in. Watch my video invitation here! (First video - eeek! I AM BRAVE!!!!) For more on the Birth 2012/ Conception Day project, see my earlier post. And for info on Wilde Tribe see here.
Before I share my vision - I invite you to open yourself to creating your own. Grab a pen and paper, perhaps some coloured pencils or paints too. Dream big, dream deep. Breathe deeply into your belly. Turn off the lights, light a candle. Close your eyes and ask yourself: what is my deepest vision for the world? Sit with that question. Breathe some more. Then without judgement or censorship spill this onto the paper. You can edit later, you can correct it tomorrow. For now, just dream... aloud!
Look at it with the eyes of love and possibility, not criticism and logic. Behold your vision in its completeness. It already exists in your mind and heart. Close your eyes again. Imagine actually seeing how it would look in reality in its completeness. Open your eyes, allow this glimmer to infuse the world in front of you right now. Breathe, feel the earth beneath your feet, and for this moment, do nothing extra.
***
Having done this process myself, here is my vision.
A community. Gathered round a candle flame, a bonfire, a central flame, a community is individuals are drawn together – through common bonds, common
needs, a common love, to share their talents, to care for all, to celebrate and
mourn.
This is how it has always been. Since the dawn of time. This is how it is now. This is how it must be.
We have learned so much, come so far... and lost so much.
I dream of a community connected through myriad interactions – that knows its powers and its frailties – that rather than seek to impose itself on all others, to decimate them, relearns the old art of hospitality of learning from and honouring the stranger.
A community cradled in nature, rooted in nature, that honours its inter-dependence – that holds to permaculture priniciples, that knows what is enough and is deeply grateful for all it has.
One that honours the spirit at the centre – the unknown and unknowable.
One which honours its women for their creativity and life-giving abilities and its men for the strength of their bodies and their hearts. One which above all else, on every level is built on a partnership model.
One which honours the development of young people on every level.
One which uses its technologies with wisdom and compassion to the highest good of all.
One which understands that to heal is wholeness, that the mind as well as the body must be ministered to.
One that seeks to cultivate and step back, rather than force and control.
One that honours creativity and the voice of the individual and communal spirit- that does not denigrate one for the other. One that does not compel belief.
One connected to the cycles and the seasons – of world and
individual life –which honours the changing seasons – that celebrates and
mourns- that understands that nature is always in flow – as are we.
One which knows that the human heart holds courage, mystery
which can so easily be clouded by doubt and fear. One which prompts us day
after day, minute after minute to chose love over fear.
I see joined hands – tree branches round a lake reaching to the sky with gratitude and openness, reaching into the ground with roots for comfort and sustenance from the earth.
I see how close we are. How all we need do is reach through the veil and we are there.
I see us all.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Preparing for conception day...
I'm getting ready for Conception Day on Thursday as part of the Birth 2012 project - all of you who are up for it - get your stuff together - I'm going to pop together some of my own to share on the blog on Thursday - my vision is that as many of us as possible come together in virtual space and offer what we hope/ vision dream for our future planetary existence - draw a picture, write a poem, share a comment, a prayer, a video - on the Facebook page or here on the blog on Thursday evening.
What is your biggest vision? Your highest hope? Now is the time to dream it aloud!
See you here!
http://www.birth2012.com/conception-day.html
Friday, March 16, 2012
Community art: drawing over the cracks
Walking home last night, it struck me that the thing I find most dispiriting about where we live is all the grey concrete and tarmac.
This evening the children solved that problem for me. A neighbouring child called round, and had to almost drag my children out by the hair, so goggled-eyed and lethargic were they from too much post-school screen time.
They headed out with a box of chalks and began an impromptu street art competition. More flocked to join them. Soon there were seven kids, aged between 2 and 9, pouring their creative souls onto the vast blank canvas of the pavement - bringing brightness, exuberance, colour and life to the paths we daily tread.
Last year when dreaming up our Big Lunch, I wanted to suggest painting a mural on the grey wall at the end of our estate. It being our first Big Lunch in the community, and organising it single-handedly, I didn't want to put noses out of joint, or foist my mad creative projects on unwilling victims.
I love community art projects. A few years back I co-chaired a local arts festival. One of our most popular events was the family sand-sculpting competition on the beach.
This year I have a feeling there will be another pavement art competition for the Big Lunch, and perhaps a mural too - even if it's just in chalks.
Shared as part of The Big Lunch.
This evening the children solved that problem for me. A neighbouring child called round, and had to almost drag my children out by the hair, so goggled-eyed and lethargic were they from too much post-school screen time.
They headed out with a box of chalks and began an impromptu street art competition. More flocked to join them. Soon there were seven kids, aged between 2 and 9, pouring their creative souls onto the vast blank canvas of the pavement - bringing brightness, exuberance, colour and life to the paths we daily tread.
Last year when dreaming up our Big Lunch, I wanted to suggest painting a mural on the grey wall at the end of our estate. It being our first Big Lunch in the community, and organising it single-handedly, I didn't want to put noses out of joint, or foist my mad creative projects on unwilling victims.
I love community art projects. A few years back I co-chaired a local arts festival. One of our most popular events was the family sand-sculpting competition on the beach.
This year I have a feeling there will be another pavement art competition for the Big Lunch, and perhaps a mural too - even if it's just in chalks.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Welcome to my world
I remember loving the series a couple of years back in a weekend newspaper on writers' rooms.
I was fascinated, I longed for a room of my own, one dedicated to writing and books and creativity, where you get to be a REAL writer.
Well guess what? I have my own now, and here it is...
This is where I go to "work".
And it both is, and isn't "work". I don't get paid by the hour. But I do make money over the year. Some bits I love, some bits are very tedious, or soul tearingly hard. But this is where I come, for two days a week and do my thing - with words, ideas, paints and the (intermittent) internet. And this is where the flow happens. Sometimes!
As you will see, my desk chair is an oversize deck-chair with big soft sofa cushions. The table is polished rough cut natural wood. It feels absolutely nothing like being "at work". Which is truly wonderful.
This is a Japanese style tea house - at the bottom of my Dad's garden, a fifteen minute walk from our house. Through the glazed sliding doors, there is a panoramic view of a little lake, the bog and the sea and woods all around me. I walk down a meandering path between bamboo to get to it, the same path I walked with my husband almost seven years ago to our homemade marriage ceremony here. The same path that we walked to bury all three placentas. The herons swoop down from the trees to fish in the lake. Migrating birds stop over in the bog.
The heating isn't working so it's flipping freezing, and whilst it has an open fire, I can never manage to get it going properly, so I work in three jumpers and a coat for as long as I can then race up to the cafe for tea and hot soup, before heading down to work once more.
You see my desk? Full of books. Books have always been my life and now they are my living in so many ways: writing them, selling them, reviewing them, reading them... So we have three piles. The tallest pile includes The Artist's Way, Creating a Life Worth Living and lots of other titles to reference (including, most satisfyingly, my own, Moon Time book - oh yeah!) in the Creative Rainbow Mama book which I am getting back to writing. The smallest pile is for the Feminine Power course I am creating with my dear friend Tracy in Cork in April and the pile further back is my review copies for JUNO - this is only some of them! The net couple of days are full of book reviewing.
And then we have my (not-so) trusty laptop with the dodgy power cable which beeps endlessly. I took this picture whilst I was finishing off my feature on Ina May Gaskin for the Examiner. I have so much good stuff that I won't be able to use there, or for JUNO that I am going to put together a blog exclusive of the best bits.
And beyond it you see my painting table, with a couple of paintings visible. This is where I go first thing in the morning - and just before I have to do some boring admin! The painting flow has slowed down a little - but did some more today.
And the big bongo drum and a stack of CDs for mad moments, because dancing, yoga and singing are "work" too... right?
Have you got your own creative workspace, or do you long for one? How would it be?
I was fascinated, I longed for a room of my own, one dedicated to writing and books and creativity, where you get to be a REAL writer.
Well guess what? I have my own now, and here it is...
This is where I go to "work".
And it both is, and isn't "work". I don't get paid by the hour. But I do make money over the year. Some bits I love, some bits are very tedious, or soul tearingly hard. But this is where I come, for two days a week and do my thing - with words, ideas, paints and the (intermittent) internet. And this is where the flow happens. Sometimes!
As you will see, my desk chair is an oversize deck-chair with big soft sofa cushions. The table is polished rough cut natural wood. It feels absolutely nothing like being "at work". Which is truly wonderful.
This is a Japanese style tea house - at the bottom of my Dad's garden, a fifteen minute walk from our house. Through the glazed sliding doors, there is a panoramic view of a little lake, the bog and the sea and woods all around me. I walk down a meandering path between bamboo to get to it, the same path I walked with my husband almost seven years ago to our homemade marriage ceremony here. The same path that we walked to bury all three placentas. The herons swoop down from the trees to fish in the lake. Migrating birds stop over in the bog.
The heating isn't working so it's flipping freezing, and whilst it has an open fire, I can never manage to get it going properly, so I work in three jumpers and a coat for as long as I can then race up to the cafe for tea and hot soup, before heading down to work once more.
You see my desk? Full of books. Books have always been my life and now they are my living in so many ways: writing them, selling them, reviewing them, reading them... So we have three piles. The tallest pile includes The Artist's Way, Creating a Life Worth Living and lots of other titles to reference (including, most satisfyingly, my own, Moon Time book - oh yeah!) in the Creative Rainbow Mama book which I am getting back to writing. The smallest pile is for the Feminine Power course I am creating with my dear friend Tracy in Cork in April and the pile further back is my review copies for JUNO - this is only some of them! The net couple of days are full of book reviewing.
And then we have my (not-so) trusty laptop with the dodgy power cable which beeps endlessly. I took this picture whilst I was finishing off my feature on Ina May Gaskin for the Examiner. I have so much good stuff that I won't be able to use there, or for JUNO that I am going to put together a blog exclusive of the best bits.
And beyond it you see my painting table, with a couple of paintings visible. This is where I go first thing in the morning - and just before I have to do some boring admin! The painting flow has slowed down a little - but did some more today.
And the big bongo drum and a stack of CDs for mad moments, because dancing, yoga and singing are "work" too... right?
Have you got your own creative workspace, or do you long for one? How would it be?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
What life taught me today
I am brave. I really am.
There's no point writing a book and then not wanting people to read it. Apparently if you write a book then you do believe in it... and yourself on some level. So stop doing battle with yourself. Let everyone know you have a book...and let them decide if they want to buy it! No really! You do not need to make apologies for it...and if people say it's good they mean it. They could just say nothing.
To be gentle and forgiving of myself. Other people tend to be a lot nicer to me, than I am to myself.
I have many, many supporters in this world, and touch many lives for good. I have inspired 5 women to get painting again. And have taught a lot of women more about their cycles, and the Crazy Woman.
I don't always get it right. Understatement! But I live to love and laugh another day.
What did life teach you today?
There's no point writing a book and then not wanting people to read it. Apparently if you write a book then you do believe in it... and yourself on some level. So stop doing battle with yourself. Let everyone know you have a book...and let them decide if they want to buy it! No really! You do not need to make apologies for it...and if people say it's good they mean it. They could just say nothing.
To be gentle and forgiving of myself. Other people tend to be a lot nicer to me, than I am to myself.
I have many, many supporters in this world, and touch many lives for good. I have inspired 5 women to get painting again. And have taught a lot of women more about their cycles, and the Crazy Woman.
I don't always get it right. Understatement! But I live to love and laugh another day.
What did life teach you today?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
