Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Shopping when Goddess-sized

I have just spent a happy-sad hour, drooling over my Funky Mama Clothes Pinterest boards... clicking through links on beautiful garments... and then realising it doesn't come in my size.

I hate clothes shopping. Online. Off line. Always have, always will.

The whole purpose,it seems to me, is to make the majority of women feel like they're just not quite normal...

So having gotten up the courage, after months, to measure my beautiful body, in order to purchase some clothes without holes, I discover that I am in fact, according to all the lovely websites, larger than XXL... except I can't be, I don't think I look it...

Me... no clever angles, no photoshop...
And the thing is I am sure the online sites are being over cautious when they say that XXL is still 3 inches too small for my waist, as it classifies the size as UK 22-24... where as I am 16-20 depending on make..I look gorgeous in skirts... Skirts are women's clothes... So why do I have to consider custom, or "paying extra for more fabric"....

Having spent my entire adult life thinking I was too fat, when I was in fact normal. I am now making peace with the fact that despite my BMI not being particularly fashionable, I LIKE the way my body looks... and feels...

I am curvy not chubby as my daughter calls me. Not obese as the BMI would have it. Not plus sized as clothing companies would have it.

Plus what?

I am goddess sized. Woman-who-has-curves-and-had-three-children sized.

So why can't I find clothes that will fit?

I'm not odd shaped. I'm woman shaped.

I happen to have a hell of a lot of slim to skinny friends whose bodies are model sized after three kids.

I'm delighted for them.

But that ain't my figure. Ain't ever going to be. So I know that clothes swap parties with them will always be slim pickings. Literally.

But then at the sling wearing conference at the weekend I was in a room full of woman-sized women - some slim, most curvy, some monumental... but my guess is that 80% of us there, us normal, healthy mamas would have been classed as plus sized.


Look this ain't new. Not to you, not to me. But it gets me every time. Every time. 

And I wish it were different.

I wish that being woman-sized was normal... Acceptable...Enjoyable...Easy.

It's alright, I'm a self-declared dreamer. So on with my fat control knickers and burka of shame. World, worry not, I shall keep my delicious goddess-sized body well out of your changing rooms... And I've bought a sewing machine!


  1. *sigh* here is your sister... I not only look like you apparently!! but am the same shape, size, have the same clothes problems, feel shamed into feeling I'm too "fat", odd shaped, too short, too booby... I have a sewing machine: I may need to start using it...

  2. :) We must meet soon, with Erin too (love her comment on the FB page!!), and do our own boobilicious, magic mama, goddess size, fantastical fashion clothes swap!

  3. Hi Lucy, I've been following you for a while here and on pinterest, although I don't know if I've ever commented before. I really enjoy your funky mama clothes board, and it's always made me wonder about you and your personality type. That might sound a bit odd but bear with me. I discovered a program about a year ago (around the same time I discovered your blog actually) that seriously altered my entire view on society's system of fashion, and at the risk of sounding like a sales pitch, I've been thinking it could really help you since I first saw that board of yours. It's not about size or body shape at all, it's first and foremost a personal development tool to help you recognize your unique personal energy and tendencies, and then tips to help you live and dress true to your nature. Even if you don't buy the program, you can still discover a lot about yourself for free on the site and learn a lot more info just by browsing the owners blog posts and pinterest boards. I'll let the link speak for itself now, but I really hope that you check it out. Good luck Lucy, you're always such an inspiration, sorry I don't tell you so more often.

  4. Right, can't let the link speak for itself if I don't post it can I? Haha, oops! Here you go, http://dressingyourtruth.com/

  5. Oh thanks Nedra! Will check it out. I guess I should add, because I know it, and readers don't, that in the past couple of years I have really found my own style, and LOVE my clothes. They are bright, feminine, funky and beautiful.. It's just getting new clothes for events or to replace much loved garment which have been worn till they are threadbare or covered in paint, is a stress. But I know my style and what suits me... It's just finding it in airstream shops.... Or running the gauntlet of sizes when buying on line.

  6. yay go you, can't wait to see what you make, i bet it's gonna be nicer and much funkier than anything you can buy anyway x x

  7. I feel your pain Lucy, not being able to find pretty clothes that are my style AND size is a rare occurrence. *sigh* hurray for stretchy and yummy clothes that are in a normal size that make you go -ha! Thank you! See I am not a size 10 million, I fit in this normal sized thing! I was stunned to buy two gorgeous things in a regular size 16 the other day after crying every time I went shopping because I didn't fit in the largest thing in the entire shop. Result!!! My sister in law used to slash the sides of regular jeans and sew a strip of patchwork squares down each leg to widen them and they looked awesome. Ditto skirts. Adding a panel in a funky fabric to regular stuff to widen it looks very pretty methinks... By the way you look GORGEOUS in that photo! X

    1. Great idea, MF, will try that now I have my new sewing machine

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  9. Lucy, you're amazing. I mostly browse charity shops in the hope that they will have some garment that fits, but not only fits, but stands out, and feels like me. I could buy clothes that fit, clothes from main stream shops that make me look like I'm trying to fit in with everyone else, (even though the equivalent in my size looks like nothing on earth) but I choose not to, I choose the mad splash of colour that suits me just fine, the billowing skirt that twirls in the breeze, the plain tops I buy for £2 or £3 compliment the mad skirts wonderfully. I dont look at the size, I try it up against my wondrous life giving belly and I see if it is worth trying it on. sometimes they fit, sometimes they dont, sometimes when they do I think, nah, its not me. It's a wierd way to shop, but seems to give what I need when I need it. On Thursday, I decided that I no longer need to "slim down" I dont need to fit in, I shall not panic about food. I am reclaiming my body as my own, it is not a clothes dummy, it is mine, and it likes to be dressed with colour and comfort, not squeezed or comprimised. I told my beloved Husband that I am not dieting anymore, I shall just be fat and happy with that. Fat and happy. better than stressed about slimming! there are so many "schemes" clubs, incentives to persuade us that we need to be a certain size to be accepted, they are just making money out of us wonderful women, who when we truly look at ourselves, see that they are the ones that are deluded. Good luck with the sewing machine xxx look forward to seeing the results xx

    1. Love it Mrs T! I'm no longer trying to slim down, just loving the body I have the best ways I can, rather than fight it any more. I do the same as you with tops and skirts!

  10. You look lovely in that outfit! For several years, from about age 9, i had a very troubled relationship with food and my body. I had various interventions with various services including an eating disorders clinic at a
    london hospital. The doctor i would see there was stunningly beautiful, goddess sized and wore clothes similar to yours in the pic that really suited her, as yours suit you. She was a really positive role model for me. Girls need to see that beauty comes in all shspes and sizes and not see a divide of lovely clothes just been for slim women with larger women being hidden under baggy tents!

    1. Thank you! A dear soul sister gave it to me for my bday this year and I adore it. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I resonate completely with your thoughts. I made a conscious decision after baby one that I could hide under fat clothes till my body was acceptable, As I had done pre babies, OR I could celebrate my body as it is now in clothes that suit MY body, rather than try and squash it into what society thought I should be wearing. The result: a wardrobe of beautiful flowing skirts and breast hugging tops!

  11. I love this so very much! And you do look so beautiful!



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