Friday, November 23, 2012

The Scum of the Universe

I take a break from my usual sweetness and light to go on an all out attack on the scum of the universe.


Numerous times a day I have to delete their gobbledegook, badly spelled, ungrammatical insults from my inbox.

Take the most recent one which came through when I was at lunch. Let me share the delights of it:
I belіve everything published made a lot of sense. (of course it did, I rock!)
Ηoωever, think аbоut thіѕ, what if you аddeԁ a little content? (um, dick wad, you added this comment to a post which is 800 words long with multiple images)
Ι mean, I dοn't wish to tell you how to run your website, (then fuck off and stop annoying me, as my father would say) but suppose you added something that makes people desire more? I mean "Craft-Tea Christmas Celebrations" is kinda plain. (no, thicko, it's actually a clever play on words)
Υοu might add a video or a рic or tωo to grab readerѕ intеrested about
evеrythіng've got to say. (oh thank you, for gracing me with your wisdom, oh spammer, I'd never considered that) Just my opinion, it would make your website a little bit more interesting.(You know my opinion? Get yourself a job and stop annoying us all.)
Also see my web page www.i'm a
Fucking, wanking, irritating cyber scum, with no purpose except wasting everybody's time.

Not only do they block up my spam filters, cos their spam is so crap that it can't get past them. I have to read their shite. They seem incapable of writing. Man spammer grammar bugs me.They're scum because not only are they spamming, but they always do it in a negative way "have you seen what people are saying about you?", "your content is poor".

And even though you know it's probably spam, you just have to check, in case some poor unfortunate real human reader has fallen foul of the spam filters and needs fishing out. And even though you know its spam, you pick up the negative energy.

I make no exceptions. They are scum. Wasting peoples' time, money and emotional energy, for little gain.
  • There are the spammers who leave random links on your blog. 
  • Spammers that send you shite about Viagra and African inheritances to your email address. 
  • Spammers that hack into your email account and send all your friends desperate stories and try to get them to send money, this has happened to three friends in the past couple of months. 
  • Spammers who try to get you to place their guest post plus dubious links up on your site for the princely sum of $10. 
  • There are the spammers who hack into email servers and hijack them to send shite from your business address to their own mailing lists, as happened to my poor husband this week, causing him days of stress and costing my father's company his week's wages trying to rectify it.
Sorry, I've been too hasty, I'm sure there's some great, sexy James Bond types out there - and if they're reading - my bank details are 1493042466 Sort Code: Kiss My Ass.

Umm, I think I might be premenstrual!!!


  1. Do you feel better now?! it sounded like you needed to get that off your chest! well done.

  2. hahahhaha, it's been brewing for months! So fucked off with them. This week was the last straw.

  3. Have you tried using a plug in like Disqus? I have to say my spam comments are near zero lately because of it and it's liberating!

  4. They don't get onto the blog, but just into the filter, and then I have to check through them. Same in the email. Because sometimes innocents, like one of my editors, turns up in the filter...

  5. Hahaha gowan! they reallya re so stupid though! xx

  6. oh my god I got the exact same message this morning - with a different title of the blog post they were referring too! Oh yes, and rather than 'kinda plain' it said it was 'kinda vanilla' (because spammers are gangsta??) I was already kinda blog-discouraged, and it ruined my whole day (despite knowing deep down it was spam).
    I'm so glad you took the time to write this up and vent!

  7. I use a combination of gmail and akismet (a wordpress plugin) and together they work very well to control the spam problem. I still get some inappropriate/spammy pitches but I'm definitely not getting the viagra or african inheritance spam.

    Hacking into the email server is really terrible. I hope they piss off soon!



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