Saturday, April 14, 2012

Transition - the nauseous stage of creative birth

Sick.
That's how I feel right now.
Why?
Because people want to buy my paintings!
That's nuts, right?
Totally flipping bonkers.
I should be cracking open the champagne.
But instead I feel like I'm upside down on a rollercoaster.
This is the nausea of risk-taking, of big dreams being set free.
This is the feeling of the ego rubbing shoulders with the elusive will-o-the-wisp who creates my work.
For some it stops them in the midst of their creative work. For others it stops them even making a start.
For me it happens when I am ready to birth.
The work of creation is done, the product that I have laboured over is there. And I feel sick.
What if they hate it? What if they laugh? What if it's crap? What if they all see that I'm a total fraud.
Remember this from the book.
Yup, we're here again.
This is transition. I remember it from birth. It's the point where the adrenaline kicks out for a moment, your internal rhythms shift gears and you feel like you're in free fall without a parachute - shit - how did I get here? What do I do now?
The conscious mind panics. The intuition and body knowing that have brought us thus far, on faith and fairy dust, cut out.
And then, just when you feel you can't bear it any more, wooooooooooooosh, the urge to push. Like breaking through a screen, and into the movie itself.
The truth arrives.
As you give birth to your babies, you give birth to yourself.
Raw, vulnerable, beautiful, joyous, terrifying, magnificent, heart stopping, exhilarating.
THIS is creativity!
Now pass me a sick bowl!


8 comments:

  1. Ah, it's so true. That euphoria and fear, the hollow feeling in your stomach as you anticipate hearing how people respond to your work. I see this fear of success/failure stop artists before finishing anything; it's such a hard push through.

    Thanks for the metaphor to understand it, and best wishes with your paintings! I'm so excited for you.

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  2. go for it! sick can be cleaned up afterwards! go with the flow, ride the rapids, and get your work OUT THERE!!!!!!!! ((((HUGS)))) and passes the towel! xx

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  3. Passing you the sick bowl! I both dread and love this stage of creation. Congratulations on selling paintings! That's an amazing feat!

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  4. Thanks all, still ready to barf! Even on a beautiful sunny morning! It won't stop me though, have no fear!

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  5. Hooray! I can totally understand why people would want to buy your paintings. They are vibrant, gorgeous, and so very full of living. I love looking at them. I guess the business side and the creator side are different beasts and work to different rhythms, so maybe it feels all jumbly inside. But to an innocent observer, it makes perfect sense that now your paintings and art will fly out into the world on their own wings! (That's one thing - they sometimes leave the nest a lot sooner than human kids...). Applauding your daring and loving your example of risk taking.

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  6. Congratulations! Love the paintings you've shown in your last post, fantastic colours. Where are they available to buy?

    ps, I was always sick at the end of each transition phase, then, it seemed, able to get on with it.

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  7. Thanks Lucy

    Saffia they are available direct from me. Will be on Etsy, for a slightly higher price (to cover fees) in the next week or so. Happy to direct prices for all blog readers. Will put them up here with dimensions and better images this week. Exhibition of the larger canvases will be in July. Will exhibit and offer online purchase of them too.

    Thank you all for your wonderful support.

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  8. Eeeek, I'm so excited about getting my lil' bit of Lucy Pearce multicoloured canvas splendour, the colours seem to dance and are so vibrant and joyful!
    I understand the sicky feeling - perversely when I write something that everyone seems to love there is a journey of emotions that involves both elation and panic and self-doubt - it's the creatives curse methinks! Feel the fear and do it anyway :-)

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