Life in Technicolour

I remember many years ago I went to a counsellor.

I was sixteen and struggling with anxiety and the beginnings of bi polar.

She said to me something that I will never forget. For all the wrong reasons.

"Life is not black and white, Lucy," she said - "there are so many shades of grey in between."

Yes, I thought... and I am NOT a grey person, nor ever aspire to be one. In her mind grey was good - grey was reliable, normal, stable... to me grey was dull, boring, normal, lacking in life or authenticity.

No grey for me. I'd leave the rest of the world with their suits and office hours and grey lives.

I understood her point - but what she was pointing out was my bi polar perspective on life, as though I could, and more importantly, SHOULD rationalise it away.

But grey does not equal happy. Or fully alive. Or creative.

Life is not grey - she is every hue - she is all and nothing.

Every once in a while I would wrestle with her words again. Understanding her intention. Physically and emotionally disagreeing with grey.

Yesterday I was talking to some really special designer women from Dream Inspired Design. We were dreaming aloud together new visual stuff for Dreaming Aloud...

I was explaining my vision really clearly to them, and the layers of soul meaning behind it. When sharing how the new site (shhh! it's a secret, right ;)) would look (I am SO excited about it!!!!) I explained - I want lots of white space - clarity, a holding space to breathe, reflect and be held... and I want vibrancy - in the design and content. My current site has been bootstrapped. I have taken it as far as I can alone. So now I need the support and creativity of others to help me to more clearly express my vision. Clarity... and vibrancy. Space and technicolour, life and creativity.

They really got it - "you can't have one without the other," one said, "you need balance, to have the two in harmony. It sounds like you're wanting to have the site reflect where you are now."

Yes. This is what I am really embodying in my life. For years I thought I needed to control, apologise, calm down my technicolour - it was too weird and threatening for others - but trying to be grey that shut me down. So then I went for full on colour. Overcrowded, overwhelmed, too full. Which is unsustainable - so I'd crash and have my body impose the blank bits through illness and depression....

My new living mode... and blog design is full technicolour... held in calm space. And this is how I am living now - not damping down the colour - but allowing space for  it... and me to emerge... and to recharge. Yoga or meditation in the morning (previously things I have DONE many times, cos I SHOULD.) Breathing. Praying. Reflecting. Dreaming. Red tenting. Moving. Factoring in holidays, self care and connection as PART of my work, not instead of.

Technicolour and white spaces.

She is right, life is not black and white. And never will it be grey for me.

This is living in full colour.

Revolutionary Thoughts: Doing it Together

I am a lone wolf by nature. Who loves community.

In truth I find trust hard. And know I can rely on myself to get shit done. I prefer to motor on ahead than spend hours in meetings where no decisions are reached, or pandering to egos that want the power but not the work that comes with it.

For my 20s independence and self sufficiency was my intention in every area of my life. I wanted to live a self-sufficient life - growing and making all our own food, clothes, education... everything... but in a perfect intentional community. A strange combination.

I get a lot done, and done my way. But somewhere along the line realised my energy was not as infinite as my vision. I got burnt out a lot. And felt isolated.

Last night I was going through in my head the various work I've done. The things I started or helped make happen - arts festivals, play group, a school, a women's group, a magazine, a chocolate business, classes of all kinds...

Last night though I led, and did a lot of behind the scenes leg work for, our new red tent, it wasn't just me - we are all in it together - co creating... Just like I realised like a bolt between the eyes, as I wa freaking out about metaphorical tables and chairs with this big secret growth that's going on here in Dreaming Aloud world...  it's not just me... I am supported. There are lots of us, invested in it together. Collaboration. Shared responsibility. Shared visioning.. shared work.

And again this morning, whilst I have put in a lot of time and energy in to the continued unfurling of our red tent... I feel the co-creative energy there -  it's as though its unfolding by magic, as each woman weaves in her ideas and quilts and needs....

I cannot tell you how beautiful the space looked last night. The floor covered in red cloths and handmade quilts, soft pillows every where, a beautifully co created centre piece and twinkling nightlights. We each did our bit to create this magic, and set up and clear up were easy, stress free... a collaborative loving joy.

And I recognise that was there before... collaboration... but I didn't trust it to take my weight... for people to do what they said... part me, part them... but it usually ended in tears and burn out...

But now I'm really seeing and feeling, online and offline the beauty of collaboration in all areas of my work... now I have a wide circle of dreamers, conspirators and collaborators who are on the same page. We are standing in our authentic power. We value honest, clear communication. And it is pure magic. Weaving different people's energies together to co-create things much bigger than any of us can do alone. We hold each other, and each others visions, with clear agreements as to what we can do or give. And we are all blessed by the creations that unfold.

Here's to doing it together!

Tell me how are you with collaboration? Does it come naturally? Are you inclined to go it alone? Do you burn out? Have you got a strong circle of collaborators or are you still looking? 

Red Tent Rising - A Resource-Full Post

I am just getting the supplies ready for our very first red tent gathering... a box of womancraft books for the red tent library, a piece of embroidery for the centre piece, a welcome sign, some futons for resting and reading.... It will be the first I know of in the south of Ireland... I am very excited.

Held on the dark moon, a red tent is a women's circle which is open to all women in the community and offers a place to rest during menstruation, to connect with other women, share wisdom and be held in every stage of our female unfolding.

(Want to know more about what a red tent is? Watch my short video which I made for the red tent summit or grab a copy of my free red tent booklet - Password= love.)


I planted the seed of this red tent when I wrote Moon Time.  I had never been to a red tent, and there was little information out there about them. I was hungry for knowledge... so I reached out to some of the movement's leaders, gathered all the information I could lay my hands on, and shared it in the book. That's how I roll! Mine was the first print book to explore the phenomenon and support women in setting up their own. I have been told that it has inspired and supported the creation of red tents in the UK, Canada and Australia as well as an online one which I am a member of.

And now we will have our own real one, in our community.

My stomach is churning and I am being a little short with my family as my brain goes into tables and chairs mode. But the excitement is overriding it... the fact that this long held dream is being born, that so many women are curious about it, that this work, and a dedicated women's space is opening up for our community... I just think of the growth, love, support, magic, empowerment, connection and healing that will emerge from the very existence of this space and shivers run down my spine...

More women sitting in circle together than ever have before in our community. Learning to speak their truth openly and be heard. From learning to listen with an open heart and without judgement. In having a place to come and be held, to rest and recharge. A place where new ideas can take seed, new books found, new friendships formed. Where women can learn to understand and trust and even celebrate their bodies.

How it came about...

I set myself a challenge out loud - which meant I couldn't go back on it, by promising the proceeds of the e-versions of Moon Time would go towards establishing a local red tent! And since then I have researched and reflected and waited. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, I was waiting for conspirators... and when I met them I knew right away... I did not say anything to them at all about it -  I was in the midst of launching The Rainbow Way and I had only just met them... I just held the vision consistently affirming it, and gently released the women's group I had run for 5 1/2 years which had run its course. Numbers were dwindling and we couldn't find any more new participants...

And then two months later, the time was right for us all.  One of the women asked on Facebook if anyone knew of a women's group or red tent in the area... and the flame was lit. Within an hour we had a FB group. And the other woman jumped right in as an admin, unbidden. Within a week we had a date and venue. In a month we have gotten over 100 women to our group, organically. We only invited 35 between us... the rest were just drawn to us. 

We have had minor bumps in the road naturally, including our first venue cancelling only days before. But we have a new, better space now.

And our first meeting tonight and are expecting about 25 women.... many of whom I know personally, some I have only met online, one I taught blogging to, and others are completely new to me. For some it will be their first time doing women's work with me... others have done much before having been part of our long running women's group ... there is an excitement tinged with deep nervousness, as no one knows quite what to expect. What is a red tent any way, they wonder... will it be for me? Will I be expected to sit around talking about their periods, will I know anyone else?

I try to allay the nervousness with information - links to the red tent summit which I have just spoken at, my booklet on starting a red tent, with reassurance and love...  but this is new, uncharted territory... of course there is apprehension.

Some are travelling nearly an hour to join us... others are following by Facebook - we hope to inspire them to start their own in their own community.

Are you ready for a red tent in YOUR neighbourhood? Wouldn't it be wonderful to have one in your city, town, village, or community?
Imagine not having to wait any longer...
Imagine knowing exactly how to create a Red Tent, monthly, where you, and your women friends, can simply BE, rather than DO...

DeAnna L’am who created the Red Tent Summit has created an Online Class designed to inspire, motivate, support and equip you, to start your own Red Tent.

The Global Tele-Tent Class starts on March 12, but you can register today.

I believe that the vision of a red tent in every neighbourhood - is possible in our life time!
And I want to help you make it a reality in YOUR neighbourhood!
Please join me, and women from all over the world, to make it so!

If you are looking for more resources I would recommend:

• My free red tent booklet - Password= love
• If you are local, our Red Tent group is here on Facebook. For resources, connections and listings UK red tents and here, Red tent Temple movement, Red Tents in Every Neighbourhood
• DeAnna L'Am's upcoming teleclass
• The Red Tent Movie - buy it, rent it, read the blog, watch a video from the maker on how to create your own red tent.
• And ALisa Starkweather's monthly teleconference and Facebook support page.

Lost in Living - Film on Creative Mothers... free to view this Women's Day

Creativity is so much more than just a “job”. It is a calling, an urge, a fight for freedom, a path to sanity. And it can be a very lonely, dispiriting business as a mother when you are driven by this compulsion, and those around you don’t understand it. Or think you should be doing something that pays better. Or is more reliable. Or that you should just give yourself fully to your children.

This is the life of the artist-mother. Pulled in two directions by two equal passions. Floundering to form her own identity.

This is what my best-selling book, The Rainbow Way: cultivating creativity in the midst of motherhood  focuses on – every aspect of this conundrum, and how to solve it in your own life.

In the book I reference a very special film, which also focuses on this topic.

Lost in Living is a documentary film by Mary Trunk, filmed over 8 years, which follows the lives of four creative mothers: an author, visual artist, painter and film maker, as they navigate and reflect on the challenges of making art as they mother. It is a very powerful film.

If you haven't had a chance to watch it yet... now's your opportunity... and for FREE!

Lost In Living will be available to stream for free on-line for 24 hours on March 8, 2014 to coincide with International Women's Day at this link
https://vimeo.com/67761940 (active for 24 hours from 8:00 am PST time.)

So watch it yourself... get a group of friends, your women's group or red tent and watch it together... Let it reassure you... start conversations... inspire you...

As film maker Mary Trunk says: "Women's stories need to be accessible and this will be a unique and exciting moment for everyone to take part in the conversation about balancing family, work and creative passion."

The Great Clearing

I walk the beach, the sky is blue, the air clear and still, fresh frozen February chill, the mist lying in the hollows of the valley, the skylarks singing as they begin their mating season: picturesque...

But here too are signs, everywhere, of what has been.

The rock pools are pulverised, shattered by the sheer force of the sea. The birdsong mingles with the sound of a roof, which was torn off like a candy bar wrapper, being replaced. The shoreline has been redrawn by the wind and the waves, since last time I was here, and now stands 10, 20 feet in places, further back than a week before. Skeletons of poles stick up, rooted in concrete, standing lonely on the new bare sand. In weeks gone by they held life buoys, to rescue life from the waves… now stolen away by the sea. 

What will emerge here in this newly uncovered sand, stripped bare? Which wild plants will take root, stones find their resting place, picnics be had?  I am minded that even after devastation, life always finds its way back. New, different, but life all the same. 

The bog is bare and low. In summer you can barely see across it for the waving reeds but now it looks like a hummocky field. The inlet wide and deep now, more like the mouth of a river, weaving its way through the bog with grace. The tea house peeps out from the trees. And the massive arboreal stand that my father in the great optimism of a ten year old, planted, that now shelter and cradle his home and family.

And I think of the winds that swept through here last week. The worst in a generation… or maybe more. An ominous sign of things to come, perhaps, as our environment kicks back. We were all shaken by the winds. They swept through our souls, as well as over our houses. The eye of the hurricane rested here. Trees thrown over like pick up sticks, trampolines like tissues. We saw how poorly rooted these things were. How the wind if she wishes can make us her puppets, rags dolls to be thrown through the air at will.

These winds cleared out the dead wood. The rains washed out that which was not deeply rooted. They forced resilience. Forced us to look again at where we live and how… and how we need to maintain and live within, not simply build over, nature’s systems. Shorelines and floodplains, river valleys and mountain tops may be beautiful, but they have purposes beyond our need for beauty, they are functional parts of a dynamic whole. We cannot live wherever we want without consequence.

These two months of storms are the weather equivalent of the financial storms which started back in 2008, which we are still only recovering from. They are a clearing out of all our systems. Leaving us feel exposed, vulnerable, being forced to reconsider, rebuild, rethink the way we live.

We long to return to life as normal, the way things were. But these shocks and storms will keep coming, intensifying the need to rethink everything, and pull together, to find a new way forward, on this newly exposed ground. There are no life buoys, all we have is faith in the great unknowable mystery, our earth, ourselves, and each other. That is more than enough for magic to occur.

Tables and Chairs: Creative Downloading and the Anxious Brain

You may not know that I catered for my own wedding.
I also led the ceremony.
And wrote it.
And made the wedding invites... with my dear hubby.
And designed my own dress.
People say their weddings are the best day of their lives.
Mine was truly the scariest.

For months before hand, including 6 days of a 10 day silent meditation retreat my mantra was "tables and chairs... tables and chairs..." Where to source them, how to fit them into the room, who should be sitting next to who... That and menu planning - how to make a feast for almost 100 on a tight budget.

Because you see we paid for the wedding too!

Tables and chairs is my brain's way of dealing with the larger panic of "holy fuck I'm getting married and is this a good idea and what if it's not and what if we get divorced...." and all of that lightweight stuff.

So I am starting to see a little pattern emerging. Event planning. Shoestring budget. Control freak nature. Wanting to make everyone happy. Wanting to do it uniquely. Anxious highly sensitive tendencies. High stakes... My brain is currently in tables and chairs mode.

If I focus on the logistics of the tables and chairs. If I make enough lists, I can control my feeling of being totally out of control. Of facing the unknowable. That's what I tell myself. I'm not sure how true it is... but it certainly makes use of some of my adrenaline and acts as a distraction from the anxiety.

It also makes me pretty distracted company.

And I tend to TOTALLY lose sight of 1) why I am doing the thing in the first place... and 2) that I'm any good at it, and everyone actually likes me...in the process.

So I'm here. Trying to remind myself of the whys. Whilst my brain screams HOW? and my little girl self curls up in a corner in the foetal position, refusing to come out cos she's SO scared.

So how did I get here?

First I was excited. Super, mega excited.

The blueprint for the next year downloaded into my head a couple of weeks back before breakfast. I scribbled down the details as fast as I could. Said yes and thank you for the information. Told Mr DA who also said yes.

And now here we are.

My stomach feels sick with anxiety. I am researching like there's no tomorrow - all the techie things I'll need, all the new learning, the things that need to be done to make it happen. Techie stuff is NEVER my strong point... it always brings out the jitters. As does spending money. Oh, and getting help.

Hello fears. Looks like we're all hanging out together once more...

This is when I ask myself why I don't, why I can't just settle for a job in TESCO to support the family. Why the need to challenge myself at this level.

But lists of information and planning downloading as I drive... or walk on the beach... or try to sleep. I wake at 4.30 every morning and keep downloading whilst the house sleeps. 6 hours is never enough sleep for me, but my body just won't do any more.

It is not hypomanic... everything else is calm. This is creative download. This is how it happens for me.

I spend months working away uninspired at stuff, then suddenly, like buses it all comes along fully formed. Only thing is, then it's up to me to make it happen.

And it's usually something I find scary. Bigger than anything I've done before. And the agreement seems to be you get the info, you get the income at the end, and the glory... but you gotta to the hard work. You've got to push yourself to the far reaches of your comfort zone. There are no guarantees. But this is what is needed and how it is to be done.

And I'm like - really, me? But I'm scared, and I'm tired and I'm sick, and I have QUITE enough work to be getting on with.

And then I'm like - why the obsession with "helping" people - they'll get on just grand without me.

But I know... and the Uploaders know that once the idea's planted, it'll be done. That's how it works.

I've just got to figure out how. Find a way. Stop whining and get on with it.

Which is where we are now.

Deeply, deeply uncomfortable. Researching like mad. Energetically calling it all in. And my inbox is proof to that - two unbidden emails within an hour telling me I was on exactly the right track.

Deep breaths.

A-Z of life at Dreaming Aloud

I have been quiet on the blog - I have been called on to share so much of me in the book launch, with radio, newspaper, magazines and online, that I needed a little private space to recoup.

I'm aware that I haven't kept you in the loop about what’s been going on behind the scenes – I find it hard to verbalise when I’m doing new things, and also am rather superstitious that if I share things too early on, it can jinx them…

But now the time for New Year’s resolutions is well and truly gone… and my plans are taking firm form, and results are being seen… I feel able to share.

So here is my A-Z of what I am letting go of and what I’m calling in, (created thanks to Leonie’s mindbogglingly fabulous Create your Amazing Year planner - it's NEVER too late to start creating an amazing year!)

Assistance

Realising I needed three of me to keep up with my work, now I am finding myriad ways, large and small, to support myself whilst I continue to build my work. Including paying for help. Wow.

Bottlenecks

Last year I hit a couple of bottlenecks – literal and metaphorical – where my neck and shoulder froze in excruciating agony. Both times coincided with my busiest times of the year. So this year is the year of avoiding bottle necks.

Connection

I tend to zap in and out of connection with everyone in my life – my kids, my partner, my family and friends. I find maintaining connection hard. So I’m starting with Mr DA in cultivating physical and emotional connection. It feels good.

Depression

Since coming out about my mental health last year, I have had the most stable few months of my adult life - in the middle of lots of sickness and a book launch and being called onto a bigger stage than I’ve ever occupied before. I’m monitoring myself, Mr DA and close friends are now aware – we all keep an eye on me.

Energy

Really focusing on being aware of my energy levels, and doing this revolutionary thing called resting. A lot. And saying no. A bit. From my planner, in bright red ink: “It is up to me to set limits. Energy in must be equal to or more than energy out.”

Facebook

I am LOVING Facebook as a way to connect, and am really focused on extending connections from real life, work and email contact over to Facebook. (Do connect with me on the Dreaming Aloud page, or perhaps my personal page.) I am getting (a bit) better at reaching out to people I know less well… and not presuming that the person I am reaching out to wants me dead. Or thinks I'm weird.

Goddess Sized

So since writing my popular post on shopping when goddess sized, I tried dropping wheat and sugar for a month, my skin was so excruciatingly itchy, and someone suggested it might help. It did. I’m now eating about 1/3 of these that I used to. Which means I’ve had to learn other ways to deal with anxiety than pasta. Or cake. Or alcohol. Or sugar. I’m also leaning consciously towards eating much less meat – being what is known as a flexitarian. And I am eating according to appetite. Not fear. And I’ve lost eight pounds. Without dieting. Whilst immersing myself in images of beautiful curvy women. Celebrating my curves… caring for my health. It's all good!

Happy

Our favourite song in the pink house is Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” – we sing along to it almost every day. We have more music in our lives since I had to prepare for a radio show where I shared my favourite tracks. I never made it on. Vomiting bug. Not seen the video? Then watch it here - to enjoy people of all ages, sizes and colours being HAPPY! I dare you not to boogie along!

Income Streams

My income streams have gone from tens of tiny trickles, to fewer, more substantial streams. And what’s more exciting is that I have a plan for the next year plus. Which will consolidate my work and earning further. Very exciting!!

Juno

Big news. I’m leaving. My choice. And quite a sudden one, although it’s been a long time coming. I need to free up the energy and head space I pour into it. It’s been over 7 years I’ve been involved with the magazine. It feels like a death. And also like it's allowing space for new growth.

Kids

They are growing so fast it’s scary. I try really hard to be fully with them when I’m with them. I’m semi successful. They’re great, just so completely themselves: quirky, cute, clever, creative and flipping strong willed!

Listening

I keep practicing. I still like to talk more though!!

Moving my body

I’m going for a walk on the beach by myself a couple of mornings a week, after dropping my youngest off at play school, and before I start work. It’s a good little window of opportunity for what others call “exercise”.

No

I am practicing saying No. As much as I can. It doesn’t come easily for a girl who likes to say Yes, is turned on by life, hates missing out, and can’t stand disappointing people.

O... 

Painting

Painting is NOT happening again. L Stuck, stuck, stuck… Here's one I made earlier...

Q

Reach … Roots

Reach is my word for the year in my work life. Last year my social media followers went from 2000 to 8,500. They’ve grown by an extra 1,500 in the first six weeks of this year. Roots is my word for the year in my soul life.

Sex

I decided to grow up about my sexual self, following a simply incredible e-course with Pixie Campbell. It feels really good, following my rules, not my internalised parental and societal ones, choosing pleasure and connection, giving myself permission.

Tents

As in Red ones… After a couple of years of dreaming we are only days away from our first Red Tent. There are nearly 90 women signed up to our Facebook group in less than 2 weeks! It seeks there is a hunger for something like it in the area... and a nervous curiousity. We let our old women’s group go with love and intention for finding a different form to support ourselves and each other in December. A new co-conspirator and new excited women mean that we will have the reality of a red tent in our neighbourhood soon!

USA

We have a family dream goal that I have set for us – 5000 copies of The Rainbow Way means a family road trip to America to visit my family there. We’re not there yet, but well on our way… I’m hoping we will make it for the Fall. I haven’t been over in 4 years – before this whole creative entrepreneur and writer extraordinaire adventure began! I’m longing to meet my cousin’s new baby – who’ll be 3 in a couple of weeks – and see him, he’s like a brother to me. And to see my cousin, Kevin Pearce, the snowboarder you may have seen in Crash Reel – last time I saw him he was only recently out of hospital and still in recovery from his horrific accident. I am also longing to meet a number of women who I have met through my work and the wonders of the web in person – and perhaps do a couple of book signings along the way!

Videos

After being invited to take part in the Red Tent summit, I had to submit a video - you can see it here. My e-course (s) will have videos in. So I’ve set myself a challenge to make a video or audio every work day. I haven’t made one yet!!

Writing

My writing is flying when it comes to my new books. With shorter pieces like articles and blog posts I am struggling to find the time, energy or desire. I signed up to a wonderful writing e course in January 2013. I have only done one assignment. I don’t have time to write. I don’t know how to write - I tell myself… Ridiculous I know, from someone who makes their living from it! I spend most of my time it seems writing emails, newsletters, advertising copy, web copy for the Cookery School, or on Facebook.

X,Y,Z...

Are top secret I’m afraid… REALLY, REALLY exciting new developments lie ahead in the next year which make my heart nearly explode with joy. I’m so glad to have you here with me on this creative adventure and look forward to unfolding more as the time comes!

Unplugged

The winds here are Biblical. Planes and boats grounded. Our 10 foot trampoline is currently hanging out in a tree. Wild does not begin to describe it. With each gust I am sure the windows will blow in.

And then, silently, the power went out.

Welcome to life unplugged. Suddenly it is apparent just how much of our lives depend on this invisible power source that we take for granted – except for monthly grumbles about bills – first and foremost no light, and no heating. No phones, or internet – so my Skype interview was now off the cards… but I had no way of contacting the woman – cos no email, or Facebook. No internet so no research, no blog posting, or updating social media. Suddenly I feel very disconnected. Powerless. My lap top has 3 hours of battery. Suddenly so very precious. What will I do, I wonder, when it runs out? Tragically I can feel my anxiety rise at the thought of it.

I think of this evening – no hob or oven – so beans on toast… only to realise that that means no toaster too! So it’ll be beans on top of the wood burning stove, toast made on it.

The women in the office here have gone home – with no computers or phones there is little they can do. Downstairs the pottery is ominously quiet – no power means no till, no lights in the clay store, no pug, no wheels, no kilns, no way of heating the wax, no loud ram press thumping the clay into moulds. Quiet. Stillness. Except for the wild wind outside. We are returned to a slow, less distracted state of being. It is less easy to be busy, to be rushed or overwhelmed.

Maybe this is the answer. I know there is a trend for turning off our technology, for screen free time. But totally powering down, in the way that is being forced upon us, immediately forces our hands. It insists that we engage with the outdoors and each other, with our immediate surroundings. Suddenly I am not a global citizen, but very much rooted in the immediate environment – reliant on sun for light, fire for heat. I am powered down… and the irony is that when cut off from the grid – both power grid and extended human grid – I am once again turned on to myself and my immediate surroundings. I am reconnected with reality.

I love the internet… adore it in so many ways. Ditto ovens and TV … but part of me realises that this could be the way of the future – as power outages become more common due to adverse weather, energy wars and rising prices.

With our wood burner and store cupboards, candles and torches we are more resilient than most… but isn’t it incredible how quickly everything changes when the lights go out?

And so I wonder how we as individuals, as a family, as a community can remain powerfully connected, when we are power- less.

I guess we're going to have to start learning fast!

Joy Pockets

Little gratitudes in the midst of everyday living...

snowdrops in the garden

being a comforting mama to a sick girl

a safe, warm house as the storm blew around us

a really exciting top secret project

eating avocado with my fingers

a boy who has discovered an unstoppable passion for reading

a husband who is fully on board with my next big plan

Facebook connections

this review of me - from a blogging course I taught at the weekend: 

"She was immediately likeable, a ball of energy. It was like crossing the ultimate earth mother with Bridget Jones (not just down to the English accent) with Oprah Winfrey... She remains the adorable yummy mummy of her blog and three kids. Most importantly she's real..." 

Please do share your joys - big or small - in the comments section below or over on the Dreaming Aloud Facebook page ... and if you're not a member of the page, do join, there are daily doses of inspiration there and a great community.

Saying No

Sorry so quiet here, dreamers, it is not that I don't want to be here. Blog posts form in my head, or seeds of them get parked in my drafts folder. And then time or energy desert me.

I cannot tell you how insanely busy life is at the moment. Good busy, exciting opportunities dripping like honey from almost every moment and interaction I have.

Exciting... and overwhelming... and of course I have been sick for weeks...

It's decision central here. Every day.

I'm really having to step into my Yes and my No to keep my head above water and sustain my energy. I get all excited and say Yes, Yes, Yes... forgetting that I cannot do it all... and that No is essential to my sanity and physical health. It has always been my weak spot. I don't like to say No - to turn down opportunities that will not come again; or turn down money that we could use; or not want to seem anti-social, or unfriendly...

I was delighted, therefore, to re-read my own "wisdom" as I was proofreading the Spring version of Juno magazine (out March 1st) and came across my column on just this topic.

"No need not be negative. It is simply a statement of clear boundaries. A wise man I know taught me that the greatest gift I can give my children and myself is to learn to say No with an open heart. To say No with great love and compassion for them and for myself. 

Saying No with deep love centres me in my own power and connects me with the source of my own creative energy once more. By saying No I free up the energy that was attached to the situation or event, so that I can use it in other positive ways. It takes me out of alignment with my ego, which so desperately wants to be liked and admired, which wants to have and do everything. Saying No moves me from passive to active. From observer to participant. 

No means I respect myself and my needs as much as yours. I do not say it lightly when I say that learning to say No without fear is one of the most empowering things you can do. "

How are you at saying No? What helps you in decision making?

Creative Living with Jamie Ridler

So if you're wanting to know a bit more about the story behind The Rainbow Way and how YOU can cultivate creativity in the midst of motherhood, do check out my interview with the awesome Jamie Ridler of Jamie Ridler Studios.

 I've had a big fan-girl crush on her since I discovered her when we were both on Leonie's World's Biggest Summit - here's my talk on Honouring Your Crazy Woman - it was my first telesummit, and I have just started writing The Rainbow Way, whereas she was an established pro.

She's interviewed so many of my heroines including Jen Louden, Brene Brown, Julie Daley, Miranda Hersey of Studio Mothers, and a pair of creative authors who inspired my online book launch. So I was VERY honoured to be invited to speak with her.

And then I got really, really scared. And sick. And beyond freaked out. And postponed our interview.

And then at the beginning of our interview I told her how much of a knot I had my knickers in about it... and how she was so talented and super nice that I knew it'd be OK...

And I think it was.

I  daren't listen to it myself. The sound of my own voice recorded brings the anxiety flooding back. I hear every stumble and strangeness.

So will you listen to it, my love, and tell me what you get from it?

OOOO

If you haven't gotten yours yet, Amazon Kindle versions of my new book, The Rainbow Way: Cultivating Creativity in the Midst of Motherhood are STILL topping the Amazon charts!!! Kindle versions are currently 99p in the UK/ 99c in the US plus tax and apparently a ridiculous 87c in Australia JUST until the end of January.

The best price on paperbacks is from The Book Depository at 29% off and FREE worldwide postage.

Buy a copy. Tell your friends. Buy them a paperback copy. Leave a review!

#1 Best Seller on Amazon... Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow. Just wow.

You've been with me for the journey. From seedling idea. You KNOW how much this means to me! 

The Rainbow Way is currently #1 on Amazon.co.uk in 3 categories (Motherhood, Craft, Craft and Hobbies kindle)  and is #3 in self help behind The Secret and The Power of Now! I also have three top five places, including a number one spot, in the US Amazon Kindle store.

It is every writer’s dream, and it really does feel as good as I predicted! I am walking on air!

I have been thanking the muses and heavens all morning, that trusted me with this work.

My success is your success too, dear dreamers, dear creative mamas, dear soul friends and supporters.

Thank you for every act of encouragement when I was feeling scared. For everyone who contributed to the book itself. Or has bought a copy. Or left a comment. Or written a review. This one's for ALL of us!

It was so funny sitting up late into the night watching the rankings rise and rise knowing that not a single soul in the village knew what was going on.

I woke up this morning to an email from my old English teacher telling me to go check the rankings. It had hit #1 over night! I ran around the house screaming. But then it was life as normal – making packed lunches for my 3 kids and trying to find lost shoes before doing the school run!!

I am so excited to have knocked Super Nanny off her number 2 perch in the Motherhood section, replacing hard love with rainbows! And to have pushed The Artist’s Way out of the way too (for the time being!)  is beyond my wildest dreams!

Thank you for the part you have played in making this dream come true! I am so excited that my book is getting the opportunity to reach so many people! I have been humbled, honoured and tickled not just pink but rainbow colours with the amount of social media shares, lovely comments, and of course purchases. That so many mamas are getting their hands on the magic in the book that I was fortunate enough to have come through me brings me to tears.

Wow!

If you haven't gotten yours yet, Amazon Kindle versions of the book are currently 99p in the UK/ 99c in the US plus tax and apparently a ridiculous 87c in Australia JUST until the end of January – and the best price on paperbacks is from The Book Depository at 29% off and FREE worldwide postage.

Buy a copy. Tell your friends. Buy them a paperback copy. Leave a review!

Thank you!!!

Quick, grab The Rainbow Way for just pennies

I know many mamas are stuck for cash right now. I get emails telling me how much they want to read my new book, but it's just not affordable for them at the moment... I wish I could give every creative mama who contacts me a copy - as I KNOW how much transformation it's bringing to the women who have read it already.  Well, this is as good as I can do, and very nearly free!

The Rainbow Way is currently just 99p/ 99c from Amazon on Kindle... so grab your copy fast, and read it at your leisure, as this offer only lasts until the end of January. Grab it here Amazon.co.uk Amazon.com and regional Amazons around the world. And tell your friends!

If you have just got a new Kindle/ i Pad/ tablet/ android phone and are looking for great new books to feed it with, then snap it up at this incredible price... and please do leave me a review on Amazon when you've read it! (And if you don't have one, you should be able to download the Kindle app onto your laptop or desktop computer and read it on that!)

Not into e-books? Well the cheapest place to get a paperback copy right now is from The Book Depository - they have it at 29% off - so £11.32 and FREE world wide postage. There are also copies for a similar price (when you include postage) from Amazon marketplace in the UK.

Want to know what readers are saying about it.... then let me share some of the incredible reviews with you ...(PS If you've read it and haven't reviewed it yet, I be really honoured it you took a couple of minutes to leave a review on Amazon!)

I particularly LOVE this one from a very wonderful sounding husband...

"I ordered this book for my wife, since having our children her creativity has been stifled as she has devoted her time to being a mother. This book has re-energised her and re-ignited her creative spark, there is a twinkle back in her eye it is wonderful to see. A great buy."

         seamps, Amazon review 

"It is an amazing book with huge potential to change your life. It has dramatically altered by perception of myself as a mother ... The Rainbow Way is an exceptional experience to read and follow. I highly recommend it."

         Amanda, UK Amazon review

"I started your book last night, and I had a hard time putting it down.
I'm feeling a spark I haven't known in years bubbling to the surface- a drive that I buried. It's a feeling of recognition and relief that others feel this way, too.
It's fantastic! Thank you."

Julie, USA, by email

"Wow, I got my copy of the book today and I'm so excited! It's so chunky and looks jam-packed full of amazing stuff! This is the first book I've read of yours Lucy and I've now read the first chapter and I think I'm in love with it already... I can't wait to read more!"
Catherine, UK, by email 

"I’m so f***ing glad Lucy wrote this book. I know that she wrote it because she was told to. I know it was dictated from the heavens. I know it because I can feel it when I read her words.

When I got it, I consumed it whole within two days. I just couldn’t stop reading it. It felt like such a balm to my soul. I wish I’d had it at the beginning. I’m so glad it’s here now.

Recommended for: Mothers. Every single one of them. Seriously. I mean it.

Leonie Dawson, Australia 

Also till the end of the month you can listen to my interview on Look and Feel Great for Mothers on Cultivating Creativity in the Midst of Motherhood - just sign up for free. And check out the interview with me on Jamie Ridler next week.

Belonging - Of Soul Friends and Heartlands

I was gifted a beautiful book, Anam Cara: Spiritual Wisdom from the Celtic World - by my own dearest soul sister. She gave it because she knows what feeds my soul. And she knows how deeply I was recently hurt by being judged harshly which reawoke my sadness that I do not belong here.

I have never quite belonged anywhere. In England I have always felt Irish. In Ireland I am most definitely English. In Japan I was most definitely Western. Though each place holds a piece of my soul, I am always aware that I do not belong.

Artist unknown

Belonging. It is the most basic thing that we yearn for. But for me has been quite hard to come by.

With each of my soul connections in this life - people and places - there has been an instantaneous feeling of belonging. Of knowing beyond knowledge that a piece of my soul was forged here, from the same stuff. As though the heavens have for a moment come into perfect alignment and time stands still. I am home.

But home does not last. Mundanities and misunderstandings seep in. And the sense of belonging becomes a little less clear. I feel I belong - but you do not.

Often I feel like I have to defend my right to be here in our little corner of Ireland. My family's right. That it is the land of my birth does not seem to matter. Nor that it is the land of my heart. 

In superficial day to day living I am perceived as other. Except by those who know me for who and what I really am. I perceive myself as other - having neither the correct lilt to my accent nor the native language. Sharing in neither the sporting nor spiritual practices which bind tight knit rural communities together I feel my difference as a nagging ache which colours all my interactions. All I need do is to open my mouth and feel that I do not belong. Who are my people I wonder - who has my back and who is talking behind it. Am I safe, am I safe? How much can I be me and be safe?

No matter that my children are the fourth generation of our family to live in this village. No matter.

I have been consciously reminding myself that this land is my land too. I am of it, it is of me. 

This swathe of sand and stormy seas that feel as much part of me as my own blood - a contour of coast that I have walked and talked and danced and drawn on, swam and fished in and made my own over more than three decades. Always, always this coast calls me when the furies race in my head. I walk the strand and allow the wind that caresses my hair to blow the anger from my mind. And always, always the lighthouse on the island, ever there, still presence in the stormy sea, the ocean unfurling to distant shores, the starry sky above gently reminding me of my own insignificance.

This is home. I belong. I know.

The sand and stones make way to reeds and tufty grass. The bog, this precious limbo land of tufted grass, hidden pools and sinking mud, of migrating birds rising as a cloud and rolling mists. Magical, mysterious, silent and untouched. Wild heaven.

Rising up from it the trees of my father's land, tall trees which have known 60 silent years since first being planted by his hand as a tender boy. Trees reaching, branching above and below. Sheltering us from the storms, and sharing their yearly cycle of flowers, foliage and fruit - an annual miracle of which I never tire. I know each tree by name. The herons in their penthouse nests do too.

This is home. We are rooted here.

Celtic Flow by Joanne Taylor

It feels good finding a deep belonging to this land, one that precedes the Catholicism that I so often find myself at ideological logger heads with. This land came first. And the seasonal celebrations that sprang out of it. And the art and music and songs and stories which my soul resonates to. The dances and design, the spirals and spirit that infuses me... and you. We are woven together through spirit, art and earth.

These are our shared roots - a spiritual understanding that was rooted in this landscape, in the understanding of soul, of beauty and friendship. Celtic history is what unites my various parts: grandparents from Wales and Scotland, a childhood divided between the south coasts of England and Ireland. Circles of stones and festivals of fire. The land of the Celts is my heart-land, my soul scape. 

This is our shared ground, our heartland. These are our roots.

PS. For more lovely Celtic images check out my Pinterest board - Celtic Dreams

How Does it Feel to be Famous?

Well dear dreamers, I am practicing being famous - what with this double page spread interview feature in the regional paper... "She strikes me as a most magnificently enthusiastic, energetic and pro-active woman. She’d have to be."

And being involved with not one but two telesummits in the next two weeks...

A Look and Feel Great for Mother's Event January 11-20th.

And a Red Tent Summit for the month of February.

Do sign up and listen in - they're free - and hell you even get to SEE my pretty face in the Red Tent one! Priceless!

That's not to mention a few other really exciting collaborations big and small which I shall share with you over the next couple of weeks as they launch!

Exciting times!

I'm going to be spotted every time I buy loo paper now! I'll have to invest in some dark glasses... and a hair brush perhaps (no, relax, it's OK, I've got one of those... somewhere!)

So how does it feel to be famous?

I hardly know myself - the glitz and glamour and first class air-tickets and red carpet receptions... ah not really.

In the real world my head is so full of snot I'm amazed it's not coming out of my ears and so my brain is going snail paced, I only have one irreplaceable pair of trousers that are ripped beyond wearability, the kids have just had another dose our magic medicine for the unspeakables which means we had a girl up with tummy ache all through the night, however on the bright side I managed to bribe my way out of prinkle tantrums this week... and I'm famous I tell ya!

Same same... but different. How goes it with you?