Sorry so quiet here, dreamers, it is not that I don't want to be here. Blog posts form in my head, or seeds of them get parked in my drafts folder. And then time or energy desert me.
I cannot tell you how insanely busy life is at the moment. Good busy, exciting opportunities dripping like honey from almost every moment and interaction I have.
Exciting... and overwhelming... and of course I have been sick for weeks...
It's decision central here. Every day.
I'm really having to step into my Yes and my No to keep my head above water and sustain my energy. I get all excited and say Yes, Yes, Yes... forgetting that I cannot do it all... and that No is essential to my sanity and physical health. It has always been my weak spot. I don't like to say No - to turn down opportunities that will not come again; or turn down money that we could use; or not want to seem anti-social, or unfriendly...
I was delighted, therefore, to re-read my own "wisdom" as I was proofreading the Spring version of Juno magazine (out March 1st) and came across my column on just this topic.
"No need not be negative. It is simply a statement of clear boundaries. A wise man I know taught me that the greatest gift I can give my children and myself is to learn to say No with an open heart. To say No with great love and compassion for them and for myself.
Saying No with deep love centres me in my own power and connects me with the source of my own creative energy once more. By saying No I free up the energy that was attached to the situation or event, so that I can use it in other positive ways. It takes me out of alignment with my ego, which so desperately wants to be liked and admired, which wants to have and do everything. Saying No moves me from passive to active. From observer to participant.
No means I respect myself and my needs as much as yours. I do not say it lightly when I say that learning to say No without fear is one of the most empowering things you can do. "
How are you at saying No? What helps you in decision making?
I said no to hosting my nieces 1st birthday party six days after my due date.It was hard because I really love my niece and it would be really convenient as I live slap bang in the middle of where everyone lives and my home would be big enough to host comfortsbly etc etc. And I love to host things! But I had to say no because I am planning a home birth and will have pool set up etc etc... As I spoke to my sis I could hear the dissappointment in her voice... as she said things like "not even for just a couple of hours?" but I held really firm and said no. I explained why and she understood... but saying no is not essy for me. Like you say, people get used to you saying yes, and when you detatch your ego and need to be approved/liked etc it frees you up to be more authentic and not not just a big endless giver that then burns out or feels resentful. Saying no is really another way of saying Yes to what you need and want in life.
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ReplyDeleteThanks Paula!
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