Kitchen Alchemy of a Yummy Mummy

When I'm feeling sad and blue.
Or just don't know what to do. 

I step up to the hob, my pans a-gleaming

Setting them going bubbling and steaming

Roasts and risolles, soups and stew

Frying, grinding, braising too

Spices and herbs to heal my woes

Garlic on fingers, chilli in my nose.

As I stir and pans a-simmer

I feel so hope begin to glimmer

The kitchen alchemy, with its rising steam

Stifles out my shouts and screams.

Onions are chopped, eggs beating, 

Straining, boiling, whisking, heating.

Cake or curry, pizza or jam

Elegant quiches from leftover ham.

What I cook matters less than the meaning it brings - 

Its warmth and its love to make my soul sing.

I let off my steam,  and feed my tummy

And I'm back to being a yummy mummy.

Grab your FREE Kindle copy of my new book - TODAY ONLY!

The lights are flashing on and off here, so this is a super quick post before the next powercut to let you know that you can grab a free Kindle version of my latest book, Moods of Motherhood, today only, from Amazon.

UK readers can get theirs here
US and rest of world can get theirs here 

If you don't have a Kindle, you can download an app for your iphone, i pad, laptop or desktop, so no excuses!!! Grab it, snuggle up and laugh and cry as you see the moods of motherhood writ large.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on it...

If you have a blog, perhaps you'd give it a mention or write a reflection on it

I'd love it if you'd take a few minutes to write a review on Amazon! (And if you've read my first book Moon Time and have yet to review it, please take a moment and do, every review helps support books and authors you love!

And then you might like to buy a copy for your sister or friend, or even yourself, to have beside your bed.

Big love mamas, this can be a tough old road, as I've seen the past few months - but you're not in it together - we're all here, on different bits of the path. You are not alone. You can do it!
x

Getting real about your needs

Mummy is in love with daddy

These words fill my heart with joy. This is all I wanted to know, to feel, as a little girl. We want to give our children what we never had. And now I have. This is normal for my daughter. Never,ever has she, would she doubt it. How truly wonderful, that security of love.

When getting mindful about money, honesty is where it's at.

Honesty can be hard. It can make you feel sick to your stomach. Like hyperventilating. Like running as fast as you can.

But boy does it work in clearing space for ease, growth and possibility. Because, I have found, living less than the truth eats away at our energy.

I have been practicing it this year - with mixed "results". I find that honesty is best received by those who are willing and able to be honest themselves. The greater their disconnection from themselves, from their feelings, their truth, the harder it is to have mutual honesty.

But we can ALWAYS start, right now, with being more honest with ourselves. In a way that's all that really matters. Because when we are honest with ourselves we know what's what, there's nothing filed away in a scary box labelled "denial", which haunts our dreams with its shape shifting tendencies.

This is what we did before we shifted into our new work-balance and Mr Dreaming Aloud left the security of his old job.

We did the sums. And we figured out there were all sorts of things we would need to cut for the year. But we could cover all the biggies. And hoped that in future years we would be able to expand our earning capacity to allow a little more breathing space.

So let's turn the lights on your money. There are whole books devoted to this. If that's what you want, great.  But I suggest you spend 20 mins just making notes now. 

If you don't have a clear idea already - now's your time to get clear with yourself. Don't put yourself off by being anal and having to find every last receipt, but make a note of all your big financial commitments:

What do you owe: in loans, mortgages, insurance, car payments?
What do you need to pay for: power, fuel, school fees, taxes, food, basic transport, to keep shoes on everyone's feet and clothes on their backs. etc.
Now you have a baseline of what you NEED.

Now make a list of what you WANT - these are basic wants for your general happiness - say a family meal out once a month, swimming, £20 on your cell phone a month...

And finally luxuries - a foreign holiday, massages, pedicures, expensive clothes etc

Now one person's needs are another persons luxuries. It is personal. But it's good to know this about yourself - what do YOU consider a basic need rather than a luxury.

As I said, we did this, I shaved every single "luxury" I could off our needs - off went going to friend's weddings and wedding presents, my book habit, paying extra off our mortgage, the chiropractor and acupuncture, and eventually health insurance, dinners out, fewer bottles of wine...

We entered this experiment, of choosing work we love and shared childcare over a better paying job that made us all miserable. We chose abundance over wealth. So each time we know we can't afford something, I remind myself of what we have chosen instead.

On paper we would be in one of the lowest income brackets. But oh my the abundance we have. And that is why we're not poor. We have a strong community of friends, family and acquaintances and a culture of non-monetary interactions within that. We are blessed with a vibrant life in a beautiful location.

And you know what? We do have luxuries. New jobs find us. We find other ways - I top up my reading habit with requesting all the new releases I want to read for free as a book reviewer. I got our family a festival ticket via my work. We are using supermarket points in exchange for our ferry tickets...
There is abundance, possiblity, everywhere. We have to see it. To open our eyes for other ways to meet our needs. Other luxuries to enjoy. And then open ourselves to receiving them.

PS

I am excited to see this interview series Teaching What we Need to Learn which starts on 15th May - it is all about truth telling. It is big names being real - telling the truth behind their lives -Ram Dass, Don Miguel Ruiz, Byron Katie and many more. All for free.

Finding Our Centres - Tried and Tested Techniques for Family Sanity

Leading on from my popular post, earlier this week on the Sacred Art of Being a Parent, I want to explore in more practical detail the two parts:

Finding your Centre and Holding the Space 

over the course of a couple of posts, to bring them down from airy fairy concepts into practical, doable actions. When we have clear acts that we feel are within our grasp we no longer feel powerless, react badly and then suck up the guilt afterwards. 

What is "finding your centre"? I mean being rooted in a place of calm balance, where we stand in our own power, able to clearly give our yes and no. Where we feel unshaken, energised and respons-able, rather than reactive.When we find our centre, we are aware of our inner voice, as clearly as the outer voices around us. We can be guided by both. We honour ourselves, and the other, allowing a deeply nourishing relationship which does not place another's needs above our own, or vice versa.

Finding your centre, means, in its simplest form, coming back to relaxed (that means slow, from your deep chest/ belly) breathing, your heart rate is lowered, the stress hormones are not being released, your muscles are relaxed and your brainwaves are in their slower alpha rate rather than the faster, everyday beta brain waves.

How often are the words "finding your centre", or "centre yourself", accompanied by "meditate" or "do yoga"? Which is great if:

a) these are your thing

b) you have an established practice - which

c) you can sustain when you have children.

But I have found that neither works for me with lots of little people around. And if I try and get interrupted I feel double frustrated. So, I need acts that promote the same state of relaxation and flow, that change my brain waves, like meditation, but that can be done with children or when they are in the other room. (I go into the concept of flow and finding your centre in great detail in my book, The Rainbow Way)

So, ways that we have found, and regained our centres this week are...

Colouring mandalas ( I do this with my 4 year old a lot)

Drawing celtic knotwork (which I do by myself in my journal)

Lighting fires (which my husband and son particularly love)

Drawing (which my two girls love)

Making pots (which we all love, that's me making one there! It literally requires you to find your centre, as you stop the clay flying round the wheel and bring it under control).

Doodling

Listening to music

Visualisation

Watching candles flicker

Slow, relaxing, soothing cooking

Walking slowly, meditatively in nature

A talking circle

Reading stories

How do you find YOUR centre? By yourself, or as a family? Do share your practices with us all, in the comments below.

Bliss....

The outline for this hid behind the filing cabinet for a long time.

I finished it today.

Loved painting it.

Bliss...

The Sacred Role of a Parent

A lot of the time I worry "am I doing enough with our children"? In the bigger picture sense, things like: are they turning into good people? How much should they know about sex? Are they getting enough life experience?  What if they don't have any spiritual practices. You know, small fry stuff like that which swirls round most parents' heads most days.

But even more frequently I think: "now what are we going to do?"

Like. We've got 3 hours till Mr DA gets home. They're bored. I don't have the energy to do anything creative or practical with them. It's raining. WTF are we going to DO to survive the next three hours without mass slaughter?!!!

When, as I was preparing to lead our women's group on Sunday, a lightning bolt struck that I just have to share with you.

That there are only, truly two things I need to do as a mother.

To find my own centre. 

And to hold the space.

End of!

Truly!

(Now this is the embarrassing bit where having bigged it up, you're like "durgh! of course, Lucy!") But I've started so I'll finish!

Sure, we all know, on one level that being a "good" parent is nothing about the amount of playdough or painting or nature walks we do with them. We know it in theory, but many of us don't know it on a gut level, in a way that informs our every day decisions.

That is why this revelation was nothing short of a bolt of lightning from the blue. It united a number of previous observations I have made in the science lab of extreme parenting - otherwise known as in my daily life.

So, I notice that when I am below par, tired or ill, that the children go all jangly - as though they can no longer feel their energy being held by me, and so they are pushing the boundaries on every side to try and find where they are, to feel safe. This is the unseen work of parenting, but that which really counts. We can't really SEE when it's being done, but it is really obvious in its effects when it's not.

The equations go something like this...
Mama sick = mad kids. Mama tired = evil kids. Mama happy = happy families.

This is why self care is so important. It's not just feelgood twentieth century mumbo jumbo. It directly contributes to the wellbeing of the entire family.

Holding space takes energy. Concentrated energy, for those of us who are not, this year at least, fully enlightened beings.

Sometimes holding our centre in the midst of the mundane is a lot trickier than in crisis, when the choice is more stark: hold your centre or freak out.

There are times when I know that holding my centre was all I can do. With Aisling's fall. In birth. With other of the children's injuries and illnesses. With many tantrums. Finding my centre. Allowing myself to remain there as everything goes on. As fear and sadness and anger and despair, and not knowing what to do swirl around me.

By holding the space I mean being really, deeply present, emotionally there. Not adding any emotional stuff to the party. Being as pure and transparent and there in the moment as is humanly possible. Being totally there for them. Being responsive, flexible, breath by breath.

Holding the space often means physically holding too. Just holding, not fixing, not clinging. Just body to body, heart to heart, offering the comfort of your presence.

And when I can keep my centre, I can hold the space, breath by breath - hold it so that everyone else feels safe to be the way that life is making them at that moment - then I am doing my sacred job as mother. I am being their womb space, their soft place to fall, their mothersoul, their advocate.  I am there, completely, for them. 

But when I am off centre, I cannot do this. When I am tired, overwhelmed, anxious then I react. I am pulled into the emotional storm. Or I am trying to escape - mentally physically.

Life has been hard with tantrums and sick kiddies these past weeks.

Sometimes I find my centre, and hold the space, and fulfill my sacred role in a way that I am proud to call myself their mother.

And often I don't. And I feel shame and regret.

But now I know, in really simple terms, what it is I am aiming at, it makes it seem more doable.

And perhaps it will for you too!

Big love and rainbows coming at you!

Lucy
x

Joy Pockets

Little pockets of gratitude in the midst of mundanity...

Birthing a dream- The Creative Rainbow Mama's Soul Book

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A tantrum free day

***

Walking home on a crisp, clear, starry winter night

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So many women friends who touch my soul daily

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Wondering if she's pregnant

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A baby giraffe, only a couple of weeks old, beholding us with eyes of innocence

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Fondant fancies - the taste of childhood treats

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The revelationary moment of divine blessing when underlying blueprint for The Rainbow Way appeared as if by magic - it had been right there under my nose all the time - durgh!!!

***

What are you grateful for this week -  do share your joy pockets below!

I've got a little something for you!!

Happy New Year dearest readers!

We are 9 days into the new year and already I have made five dreams come true! Wowsers! What a way to start the year.

They were:

• attend a women's retreat
• bellydance with other women
• make new work-soul connections with local like-minded women
• build my mailing list and
• create a beautiful e-book

That e-book has filled my heart with joy in the making of it. Created from some of my favourite bits from my next book, The Rainbow Way, combined it with my artwork, it came together over the course of a weekend.

Have you got your copy yet? 

Sign up to the mailing list and you will get your very own rainbow coloured copy as if by magic!

It was only when I had created this little book of colourful love for creative mamas, that I realised WHAT a big dream come true it was.

Let me take you back in time to May 2011....

I had just joined Leonie Dawson's Goddess Circle and read her Business Goddess e-book, having found her after Googling "Creative Rainbow Mothers".

Her e-book allowed the seed of an idea to form. I would write an e-book. About Creative Rainbow Mothers. The dream was that it would be a colourful book for the soul. Two moths later I realised it was bigger than an e-book. I started sending it off to publishers. And whilst I waited, sat down to write another e-book. Moon Time. Which also became a real book.

The book about Creative Rainbow Mothers is so much bigger than my original vision. It has taken on a life of its own, and features the words and experiences of pretty much ALL my creative mama heroines.

Today, I received the Forward to the book, written by Leonie herself! I love how it has all come full circle!

AS I was reflecting on the book, before I launched into the rather tedious work of the final writing and editing,  the e-book idea called me again.

So I made it.

I rode my wild donkey, as Leonie would say.

And it's now winging its magic around the world. It's been read by more than 50 women in three days. In Switzerland, Ireland, The US, India, UK, Australia...

My inbox has been bombarded with beautiful messages of thanks from women who've read it. Oh how they made my toes tingle with delight. Let me share a couple...

So. On Saturday I went for lunch with my friend and came away feeling really low. I felt like my life had become so... small since having the boys, and almost like I had to apologise for my lack of dynamism. I realised that I can't keep up with my old life, but I do have to open myself up to new creative outlets. So... Long story short, last night I sent out a prayer for something to jump out at me and make my heart sing, and two pages in and I know this book is it! Long way of saying thank you xxx

         C.M

And this one

I just had to email you and tell you how fantastic, wonderful, beautiful, inspiring, amazing, bright and delicious I think it is!! You are brilliant and you inspire me!

          L.S-P


And this one 

It's beautiful, the art work, the words... I'm only halfway, baby woke up but can't wait to get back to it later. You are so talented and so generous to share your talent and spirit so openly!!! Thank you! 

          D.H. 

So be sure to grab your copy. And do let me know what you think. 

My transformational teachers of 2013

It may be a little early in the year to write this. But what the hell. I'm buzzing about who I'm working with this year and so I wanted to share it with you like, NOW!!!!

It seems to have become a sort of tradition for me to scout out my teachers and then organise my learning for the year ahead. (To see last year's teachers see here... and then come right back here so you can meet my line up for this year!)

I think of it as my very own University of Life where I get to choose my professors and my topics. Topics I never learnt about at school, that set my world on fire, from women around the world who I wouldn't otherwise get to meet. All glory and thanks to the wonders of the Interweb, guardian of women's sanity!

I usually have one module for creativity, one for business/ money, a couple for spirit and one for teaching/ facilitation. But often they tick a couple of boxes. Basically I make sure that I up-skill each of my work life areas each year. Taking on new ideas, soaking in the wisdom and experience and general juju of mentors I admire.  So if you're looking for inspiration, new mentors and general wonder, look no further!

As an aside, there are always two big demons to fight: the "no-time" and "no money" demons. Being a mama of three with a low income, I know both, intimately, but I also know that when I live magically, fully and creatively, every area of my life is enhanced. This is a totally worthwhile investment in me as a woman and a creative entrepreneur. I don't take on courses that require me to show up at certain times. Nor ones which cost over the £150 bracket. What I am after is nuggets of transformational wonder and delight offered by women who walk their talk.

All the time I am learning I also have my business and teacher's hat on watching for useful tips and tricks, teaching material I can re-use, their marketing strategy and furthermore making great networks with fellow alumni of my sort of people who may well become customers, and networking with the leaders themselves scouting out opportunities to collaborate. I wait for special offers and discounts and become an affiliate as well for extra cha-ching. So really it doesn't cost me too much. And it makes me way happy, knowing that I can tap into some wonderful wisdom at any moment, from home, without trying to get out in the evenings.

So this years faculty in my University of Life are:

 Shiloh Sophia. I am taking her course, The Red Key, at the Cosmic Cowgirls University (yeeha!). They have very kindly offered me a generous scholarship to extend my studies in creativity, the divine feminine, painting and women's creative process with her for the rest of the year. You'll see her influence in my more recent paintings and many more to come.

Do take some time to listen to her powerful talk on the Red Thread . The winter session of Marked by the Muse has just begun: packed full of poetry, painting and creative connection. It's powerful stuff and I'm loving it. (Check out what she says about women and business here!)


Megan Auman. My business modules this year are Megan's Business by Design and Marketing for Makers to help me up my game in term of reaching new customers and shaping my exciting new offerings. She's a jeweler and metal worker by trade with a great way of talking about business to creative types. I've been signed up to her mailing list for the past year (this and reading someone's blog is a really good way to get a sense of someone's work for free before committing a penny). She had an incredible deal, of 70% off these two courses until Jan 6th - |I bought them together for $80 (normal price $269).



Leonie Dawson - OK, sometimes I worry I go on about how great she is and you all just tune out, like la-la here's Lucy's fan-girl-crush again. Truth is I'm an affiliate because this woman rocks my world. (And this is the only affiliate link here!) And so I've been really excited to see on Facebook how many regular readers of Dreaming Aloud have taken my advice and either joined the circle or bought her Business and Life planners and are now totally in love with her too! She rocks!!!

 If you want transformation fast, that's deep, but also fun, caring and sparkly, then Leonie's your woman. Go right now and buy a planner, it's less that £6. That's no risk at all. Plan your 2013. Start making your dreams come true! Oh, and did I tell you she's writing the forward for The Rainbow Way? Wahooooo!

Mary Beth Bonfiglio. She's a recently new discovery, thanks to my superbly well connected friend Erin Darcy. I want to write like this woman. And so I've signed up to do her writing course, Own The Edge. It's magic! I love her coinages: wordgasm anyone? Do check out her blog and prepare to be blown away by words! (I have a contribution from her in The Rainbow Way too, yippee!!!)


Beth Wallace. A fellow woman's circle leader and Irish based, hurray! 
A kindred spirit a few steps ahead on the spiral path. She teaches tantra, Jade egg practice and so much more (seeher site for details). We are already talking possible collaborations and I'm looking forward to attending more of her events, like her next Full Moon Circle in April and her Bliss event in West Cork in July.

And then my wish list - faculty opportunities waiting to be filled!

Mara Friedman. Divine feminine artist based in the US, whose work touches women to the core. Not sure how I'm going to get to work with her but am learning from her art. I sell her cards at fairs, and each of my Happy Womb Gift sets comes with one of them.

ALisa Starkweather - I am hoping to connect more with this amazing wise woman, founder of the Red Tent Movement in 2013 and perhaps meet in person.

I'm looking for a really strong mandala tutor on line course, artist or book. I've been sniffing around for over a year now and not come up with anything. And also a dance practice of some sort, I'd love some sacred feminine dance, tribal bellydancing to be precise! Preferably local. Any suggestions appreciated!

And for those of you who were inspired to see my painting blooming into life last year, Flora Bowley's Bloom True course, the one that started it all off, is running again in February.

I have my own exciting courses, on line and in person brewing in 2013. So maybe I'll get to be one of your transformational teachers of 2013 online or in person. I'm so excited!

Who are your transformational teachers for 2013?

Looking back… looking forward…

And so as the turn of the year approaches I look back over the year that was. In total amazement for the year that was. And give thanks.

First things first, I survived the end of the world. And if you are reading this, then you did too. Hurray for us! Mojitos all round, I say!

I nominated this my year of abundant rainbows. And it sure was. I made a sacred vow to myself out loud on this blog that this would be the year I let myself do my thing out loud - sing, dance, paint and generally be me, and mama I did. Mission accomplished!

2012 in brief...

Publishing contracts: 1

Books published: 2 

Books written: 4

Paintings done: Over 50

Journals filled: 4

Blogging courses taught: 3

Blog posts written: 173- over 4 blogs!

Most popular blog post of 2012 - Our Cupboards are Full but there's nothing to Eat - absolutely NO idea why this is so popular - it has had just shy of 3000 pageviews in 11 months!

My favourite blog post of 2012 on Dreaming Aloud - weirdly - Almost

My favourite blog post elsewhere - my December one on Tiny Buddha: Overcoming Anxiety: Moving from Fear to Presence

My 12 transformational teachers of 2012

Nights away by myself: 2

Trips to the UK: 2. 

Not to mention a painting exhibition, and my first full year in business as a professional creative rainbow mama! 

It also brought us a near fatal accident. Lots of anxiety. Lots of illness for us all. But we're all still here, coughing and spluttering to greet a new year. And for that I am beyond grateful.

I have spent the past month taking stock of the year - creatively, to do with life goals, emotionally and for my business. I tried Susannah Conway's free 2013 life planner, which was good, but not nearly so good as Leonie's Life planner, which I got last year and adored using, and her brand new Business Planner which has transformed my intentions and plans for the year ahead (from "I'm not sure I can face another year in business, working all the hours and not making that much" to "whoopee, I am SO excited about next year... and I know how I can triple my income,whilst spending more time doing the bits of my work that I love". It is nothing short of transformational - and fun to do - it comes highly, highly recommended!

One of my resolutions for 2013, is to programme in retreat time. So this year I found myself driving the same road that I did a year ago. The same highway to the wilds of West Cork. The same exodus from family life. The same need for reflection and creative dreamtime.

But rather than the desperation that came with last year’s escape, instead I had this retreat booked in, a day and night, put in the calendar, made sacred with intention, the space held for me! I went to a women's full moon circle, with a dear friend, one that I wasn't leading and so got to retreat, be nourished, reflect and create. And it was perfect.

I am making sure to book them in throughout the year. Which is getting easier as the kiddies get older, and I am no longer breastfeeding. My next date booked is 6th January meeting the Wild Women of Cork for drumming, dance and henna. I can't wait!

And my word for this year. Very simple. But very challenging: Trust. It came to me as I was wondering if I should sign my publishing contract. So that's it. Trust.

and my big plans for the year? Well, you'll just have to wait and see!

What's your word for the year? What resources have you found helpful in reflecting on 2012, and visioning 2013? What are your hopes and dreams and plans for yourself? Do share them below! Speaking them aloud helps to clarify and materialise them!

Joy Pockets

Surviving the end of the world!

New orange tights.

Receiving a scholarship to the Cosmic Cowgirls University. I kid you not!

Looking forward to a special full moon women's circle.

A fridge full of Christmas sustenance, thanks to Mr DA.

Feeling like a nice mama again (willing the bug my son has to disappear without knocking the whole family out).

Looking forward to seeing soul sisters.

A morning of Christmas cooking with carols a-blaring!

Mr DA doing the kiddie night shift = sleep for mama!

Fresh cranberry, orange and white choc cookies, my festive treat!

Doing art and piano with Meli, having found my favourite childhood piano book.

Our wonderful doctor. What a beautiful soul he is.

Curling up in front of a movie in the afternoon with my kiddies.

Leonie's wonderful business planner.

3 sleeps till Christmas!!!!!!! Merry Christmas one and all.

Painting again

I haven't done much painting recently - nothing's been calling me. When I can't paint, I can't paint. It just doesn't happen. But this morning I went to work with the idea for a new project, which by mid afternoon I have no energy for. But hey - here's what I was up to this morning!

This one has been emerging for a few months now. Every time I'm in the mood I add another little bit to it. It's tentatively called "Softly Held". It's much more vibrant in real life.

This one was painted quickly, wet on wet. I love the melting colours. It's called "Melting into Love."

These are four pictures I painted today for a new project on menstrual archetypes - I followed my own exercise in Moon Time and loved it!

Candlelight, fairylight, firelight

Welcome to the December 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Childhood Memories
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about memories of growing up — their own or the ones they’re helping their children create. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I know the place where the fairies sleep. Where bonfire sparks make the stars and witches walk.

I know the place where music lives and angels wait.

I know, because I saw them with my own eyes as a child. Colors shimmered, sounds too, and for hour upon hour the laws of nature were richer, deeper and mythical in their proportions. A world of fire and music and story, where the rules of magic reigned. These were not things that I tried to believe, but things I had seen, felt and known in my bones, that made me shiver up my spine, lit up from the inside by magic.

Christmas seemed to inhabit its own realm of magic - where everything was brighter, warmer, fuller, more delicious and abundant than your dreams. Where life glimmered and shimmered by candlelight, fairylight, firelight. When everyone I loved would be gathered in a room together, talking and laughing. Where grown ups had time to play games in the middle of the afternoon by the fire. A time when music was all around, and piles of presents in shiny paper whispered promise. When every street sparkled with a thousand coloured lights, and driving home in the darkness, living rooms glowed with warmth and love and festooned trees

And most magical of all,  the portal of wonder, Christmas Eve, when I hung up a stocking, went to bed full of happy butterflies and came downstairs in the cold and dark, to be greeted by a bulging, odd-shapen container of delight, where I would dip my hand in to its Tardis-like proportions, fishing out pencils and books, magic tricks and bubble bath, golden chocolate coins and glowing clementines.

These weren't times when I tried to believe. They were real visits to other worlds within the embrace of this one.

At this time of year especially I long to make magic real for my children. Or rather, to hold the space for magic to emerge for them. In truth I don't know what lights the magic in their souls, what, in their modern and maybe jaded eyes holds the spark of a miracle any more, which memories have already fused themselves to their cortexes, to live there till they are grandparents. I do not know, but I make it my job, as much as I can, to expose them to magic and miracles - freshly falling snow by moonlight, carols by candlelight, wishing eggs in the woods which the fairies take away, gingerbread houses, bonfires and sparklers in the dark, tooth fairies and Santa Claus.

I kept this magic into adulthood. It truly only fell away this last couple of years, with tiredness, illness, too much work, too much pressure to do it right, not enough money or time, striving, striving to get it right, keep everyone happy, remembering all the details. My soul was stricken, Christmas had lost its glow.

So this year, I am re-lighting the magic of midwinter - it is not about quantity, but about the feeling of abundance. Music singing us into feeling and tasting love on our tongues. And light - candle light, fairy light, fire light, the sparkle of magic and hope in the midwinter dark and cold. The feeling of togetherness, of joy.
Weaving magical memories, suspending the laws of mundanity and bringing magic to life.

Candlelight, fairylight, firelight... magic!

Did you see my recent festive post about the realities of family time making together?Those Infamous Words: Lets Make a Gingerbread House. It gave a lot of mamas a lot of laughs!

If you're new here, welcome - do stop by again. Why not follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Google Follower, Twitter, check out my new book: Moods of Motherhood, receive posts by email and join the mailing list for events, offers and occasional delight straight to your inbox - look left for all these options and to read my top posts or trawl the archives!

And do share how do you make space for magical memories to be created in your lives below! 

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by afternoon December 11 with all the carnival links.)

• Childhood Memories of Peace, Support, Joy, and Love — Amber at Heart Wanderings wants to make sure the majority of the memories that her children have as a part of their family are ones that are positive and help support the amazing people that they are now and will become as adults.
• Hand Made Baby Books — Destany at They Are All of Me talks about why baby books are important to her for preserving memories of her childrens first years, and shows how she made one by hand for each child.
• Can your childhood memories help you keep your cool? — Here's To A Boring Year uses memories of being a child to keep her on the path to peaceful parenting.
• Inter-Generational Memories {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs at A New Day talks about her own childhood memories, and what she hopes her daughter will remember in the future.
• Snapshots — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings reflects on the ways our childhood memories appear to us, and hopes her own daughter's childhood will be one she remembers as being happy and fulfilled.
• What makes the perfect parent? — In a guest post on Natural Parents Network, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog reflects on camp follow and camp no-follow...
• In My Own Handwriting — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen talks about her journals and the hope that they will be able to keep her stories alive even if she isn't able to.
• Candlelight, fairylight, firelight — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud re-discovers the ingredients for bringing magic to life, especially at Christmas.
• Making Memories (or) How We Celebrate Christmas — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis talks about creating new memories at Christmas, and the joy their adventures bring to her whole family.
• The Importance of Recording Feelings and Emotions and Not Just the Experience — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares why she puts pen to paper every day to record more than just her experiences as a mother and her daughter's experiences as a child. Jennifer looks at the importance of capturing feelings and emotions that accompany the experience.
• Dredged up — Kenna at Million Tiny Things has been forced to recount childhood memories at bedtime, due to the failure of her middle-aged imagination. She resists, of course.
• Crafting Memories — Handmade is what makes the holidays special for Christy at Eco Journey In the Burbs, and she wants to create the same connection with her daughters that she remembers with mother and grandmother.
• My Childhood Memories; beacons of light in the darkness — Stone Age Parent shares the impact of her childhood memories on her life as a parent today, listing some of her many rich childhood memories and how they now act as beacons of light helping her in the complex, often confusing world of child-rearing.
• 10 Ways I Preserve Memories for My Children — From video interviews to time capsules, Dionna at Code Name: Mama wants to make sure her children have many different ways to cherish their childhood memories. Dionna's carnival post features ten of the ways she preserves memories; check out her Pinterest board for more ideas.
• Memories of my mother — Luschka at Diary of a First Child remembers her mother and the fondest moments of her childhood, especially poignant as she sits by her mother's sickbed writing.
• Creating Happy Childhood Memories through Family Traditions — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells why family traditions are so important to her and her family and shares how she’s worked to create traditions for her children.
• Traditional Christmas Tree — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep remembers the great times spent with her family driving for the Christmas Tree and the lessons learned.
• Wet Socks and Presents — Kat at MomeeeZen writes about her favorite Christmas childhood memory and why it's so special. And she hopes one day her kids will also have a feel-good memory of their own to look back on.
• Stuff does not equal memories — Lauren at Hobo Mama learns that letting go does not mean failing to remember.
• A Child's Loss- Will They Remember Dad? — Erica at ChildOrganics writes about their family's loss of their husband and father. She trys to find answers to the question: Will they remember their Dad?
• Childhood Memories - Hers and Mine — Jorje of Momma Jorje wished for her daughter the same passions and experiences she loved as a child, but learns the hard way to accept whatever passions strike in her child.
• Holiday Non-Traditions — Erika Gebhardt enjoys her family's tradition of not having traditions for the holidays.

Those infamous words: let's make a gingerbread house

We are totally addicted to Masterchef in this house - a TV cooking show where the contestants are pushed to the limits of endurance, before having their dishes picked apart by the odd couple of Michel Roux Jr, and Fat-Boy-who-the-fuck-is-he-anyway-Greg-Wallace.

But I always say, that to really test them they should chuck in one kid having a tantrum, another trying to "help'", a pig sty kitchen, a third child destroying everything they do and then see how much they can cook!

So today I took that challenge upon myself. Yup. Nutter!

In reality when you utter those infamous words "let's build a gingerbread house" you start out with fantasies of creating something like this...

From christmaswarmth.tumblr.com on my Pinterest board Creating Christmas

If I were a cruel "perfect life" blogger I'd show you a cutesy finished picture, which you would promptly pin on Pinterest and go away hating me. But I'm not, so instead I shall regale you with the reality behind a "happy family time" making a real gingerbread house, in order to reassure you of my enduring lunacy, and why NOT making Christmas memories together is the sane loving thing to do!!

It all started with a 4 year old who came home from school and tantrumed long and hard. Hot on the heels of a 2 year old tantrum. The 4 year old ordered a chocolate bar, the fire put out, hit her sister, the sitting room to herself to watch TV, her shoes put back on (after having kicked over her sister's bowl of mushroom soup). He brother went and started banging his head on the door in anger and frustration, having spent the past hour lighting the fire. And also because it meant we couldn't make candles over the fire like I'd promised.

So I uttered those infamous words: let's make a gingerbread house. We've made one every year four the past four years. They are always a festive and semi fun way to destroy the house and achieve multiple arguments.

So we started. Me and the boy. It wasn't long before middle child smelt fun she was missing out on and abandoned CBeebies. Cue fight over whether or not she deserved to join in and forced apologies for having been a little so-and-so.

Carols on. CD 3 is lame ass. Change to CD 1. Much better.

Rolling out one part gingerbread with one part glitter from earlier "Christmas card making session". Can't find the rolling pin, so we use the cling film roll!

Guesstimate the house parts. Bake. Make caramel. Don't burn it. Assemble house - snapping off the bits that don't fit. It doesn't collapse like usual. Very chuffed. Haven't even burnt myself!!!

I start to get cocky and make a sugar work cage of spun sugar. Michel Roux Jr would be proud. Burn my finger on the last drop of caramel. Fuck it.

Girls come racing past for the second time. It is then that I realise that the youngest is chucking Hobnob biscuits out of the packet at her older sister whilst chasing her round the house. Her older sister was retaliating with a pot of blue glitter. I kid you not. And the cleaner was here only 24 hours ago.

Mama roars.

Boy makes icing. Littlest girl adds way to much water. We do a fine job of decorating it together. No one dies. Look at our handy work!

And look at the fucking mess!

Now I have to cook dinner!

For inspiration on Christmas crafting with friends and family, see my popular post from last year: Craft-Tea Christmas celebrations.

The end of the world is nigh - what are your plans?

Yup, that's right, the end of the world is a matter of days away.

Winter solstice - 21/12/12

What are your plans? Do you have your bunker prepared? Or are you going to be dancing naked on top of a Mayan pyramid in the depths of the jungle? (Like my sister - well, she's going to a hippy conventions in Mexico, so I presume that's what they'll be doing!) Will you be on the road to see family and friends for Christmas (like some of my friends). Will you be visiting a sacred site like Newgrange or Stonehenge (like my friend Tracy.) Or will you just be settling down in front of the telly with a glass of Pinot? (Like my dad!)

Me? I was very excited to be invited to hold the space for a fire labyrinth in West Cork at a solstice ceremony complete with drumming circle. It seems like a magical and meaningful way to celebrate with my whole family and a community of others. As you will see from my post next week for the Carnival of Natural Parenting, this aligns perfectly with my intentions right now. So we will probably not be naked, bearing in mind the climate here, but we will be mindful and present for the Shift.

For the WHAT? I hear you ask. The Shift. Check out what I wrote about it earlier this year when the movement launched.

Mayans or no Mayans - things are shifting everywhere on every level - few could deny it. I love the idea of celebrating it, and of giving our conscious positive energy towards it. Because so often these changes in climate, economy, health and culture can feel stressful and worrying, and we feel out of control, like we are being shifted against our will. This is a way of stepping into that power and committing to conscious co-creation. I am writing a lot about it at the moment, in a feature for JUNO for the Spring issue, and in my book, The Rainbow Way. Co-creation is where it's at people. Getting ourselves into that place can be a challenge as we want to control or we want to not be in control.Ceremony and ritual are a great way to practice this balance.

If you're looking for inspiration and events, the Birth 2012 movement are planning events around the word.  The most captivating, for me, is the 1 billion OMs (or AUMs - depending on your sacred spelling preference!) you can join in wherever you are, changing the frequency of the world by chanting this sacred sound -I just love the idea of this sound travelling around the world, time zone after time zone. They are asking people to take a pledge:

"I commit to only share
words and actions of love on
December 20, 21, and 22, 2012"

It sounds like a great commitment to make, at this time of goodwill to all men. Even if you think the rest of it is a bunch of hokum!

So whether you believe that the end of the world is nigh, a shift in consciousness is happening - either by chance or design, whether you're celebrating the darkness day and the turn towards the light, do please let us know what you're up to, and why! Lets inspire each other.

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