Getting real about your needs

Mummy is in love with daddy

These words fill my heart with joy. This is all I wanted to know, to feel, as a little girl. We want to give our children what we never had. And now I have. This is normal for my daughter. Never,ever has she, would she doubt it. How truly wonderful, that security of love.

When getting mindful about money, honesty is where it's at.

Honesty can be hard. It can make you feel sick to your stomach. Like hyperventilating. Like running as fast as you can.

But boy does it work in clearing space for ease, growth and possibility. Because, I have found, living less than the truth eats away at our energy.

I have been practicing it this year - with mixed "results". I find that honesty is best received by those who are willing and able to be honest themselves. The greater their disconnection from themselves, from their feelings, their truth, the harder it is to have mutual honesty.

But we can ALWAYS start, right now, with being more honest with ourselves. In a way that's all that really matters. Because when we are honest with ourselves we know what's what, there's nothing filed away in a scary box labelled "denial", which haunts our dreams with its shape shifting tendencies.

This is what we did before we shifted into our new work-balance and Mr Dreaming Aloud left the security of his old job.

We did the sums. And we figured out there were all sorts of things we would need to cut for the year. But we could cover all the biggies. And hoped that in future years we would be able to expand our earning capacity to allow a little more breathing space.

So let's turn the lights on your money. There are whole books devoted to this. If that's what you want, great.  But I suggest you spend 20 mins just making notes now. 

If you don't have a clear idea already - now's your time to get clear with yourself. Don't put yourself off by being anal and having to find every last receipt, but make a note of all your big financial commitments:

What do you owe: in loans, mortgages, insurance, car payments?
What do you need to pay for: power, fuel, school fees, taxes, food, basic transport, to keep shoes on everyone's feet and clothes on their backs. etc.
Now you have a baseline of what you NEED.

Now make a list of what you WANT - these are basic wants for your general happiness - say a family meal out once a month, swimming, £20 on your cell phone a month...

And finally luxuries - a foreign holiday, massages, pedicures, expensive clothes etc

Now one person's needs are another persons luxuries. It is personal. But it's good to know this about yourself - what do YOU consider a basic need rather than a luxury.

As I said, we did this, I shaved every single "luxury" I could off our needs - off went going to friend's weddings and wedding presents, my book habit, paying extra off our mortgage, the chiropractor and acupuncture, and eventually health insurance, dinners out, fewer bottles of wine...

We entered this experiment, of choosing work we love and shared childcare over a better paying job that made us all miserable. We chose abundance over wealth. So each time we know we can't afford something, I remind myself of what we have chosen instead.

On paper we would be in one of the lowest income brackets. But oh my the abundance we have. And that is why we're not poor. We have a strong community of friends, family and acquaintances and a culture of non-monetary interactions within that. We are blessed with a vibrant life in a beautiful location.

And you know what? We do have luxuries. New jobs find us. We find other ways - I top up my reading habit with requesting all the new releases I want to read for free as a book reviewer. I got our family a festival ticket via my work. We are using supermarket points in exchange for our ferry tickets...
There is abundance, possiblity, everywhere. We have to see it. To open our eyes for other ways to meet our needs. Other luxuries to enjoy. And then open ourselves to receiving them.

PS

I am excited to see this interview series Teaching What we Need to Learn which starts on 15th May - it is all about truth telling. It is big names being real - telling the truth behind their lives -Ram Dass, Don Miguel Ruiz, Byron Katie and many more. All for free.

Down to the Bare Bones - Cutting (the fat of) Child Benefit

Let us take care of our children, for they have a long way to go.

Let us take care of our elders, for they have come a long way. 

Let us take care of those of us in between, for we are doing the work.

(Traditional Blessing)

This is my hope: in a culture of austerity may we not have a poverty of vision.

May we hold our values above our economics.

May we respect each stage in the journey of life as having value and dignity, and offer the support it needs, rather than resent each penny that is required.

May we not turn against each other in trying to find solutions.

Let us stop for a minute and look beyond the numbers, to the ambitions and basic needs of every family. Let us nurture the creation of healthy families, support their aspirations, regardless of their parental financial situation. Let us give every child, the same basic funding so that we know their basic needs can and will be provided, come what may. Let us value the next generation financially. Let us value the parents who care for them.

A hopelessly idealistic plea, you might think. But one for which I make no apologies, nor take any credit.

This is the vision of Child Benefit.  A Universal financial payment which has been supporting families for decades. (for a great explanation of what Child Benefit is and what's happening to it, see yesterday's post in our BlogMarch.)

And yet at exactly the time we need Child Benefit like never before, we are being chastened for being greedy and unrealistic in valuing what we have. What (in a good economy)  was thought of as a vital support for parents and children is now seen as a luxury (in a flat-lining economy), and one to which the rich are not entitled .... so nor should the poor or the squeezed middle be. We soon will have to prove that we deserve it, that we are poor enough, and jump through the hoops of the already creaking Family Income Supplement system to get less than what we already have...

How fair is that?

I am not going to give you a sob story about the choices we as a family make or the details of our personal finances. They are truly not your problem. Because I do not expect you, or the State, to take financial responsibility for me and my children.

Just like I do not expect to have to pay to bail out the banks. Or repay bond holders. But I have. And my cost of living has shot through the roof, as our means have declined. But market forces only work one way, it seems.


I want to live in a society which values - financially and morally - the needs and contributions of each sector of society from youngest to oldest - at their time of need. 

I thought I did. But I was wrong. 

I understand something: money is all that matters right now. The money for the party (of which my generation and my children's were not part of) has to come from somewhere. The bill has to be paid.

But why from those of us who are under the most pressure? Who are working to build our careers, care for small children and pay off mortgages?These children are our country's future and we the current economic powerhouse. We do not feel very powerful.

On Monday, the IMF admitted it completely underestimated the effects of austerity on the Irish economy. A new report showed that for every €100 of cuts, a knock-on €50 loss to the economy had been expected - through loss of employment and reduced spending.The reality was two-three times this.  

Let us not keep making these mistakes. Let us learn from the evidence.

The argument goes that Child Benefit is a luxury. Or that it funds luxuries. In a tough economy we need to learn to "man up" and realise that life is hard, which means cutting back the fat. Child Benefit is fat. Some are even suggesting that children are luxuries (I thought in Catholic Ireland they were supposed to be blessings from God, but what would I know?).

I see Child Benefit like this: if you benefit the family, you benefit the child, and you invest in the future. Cut the investment, limit the potential, pay later for the consequences... 

But we are so worried about now. About what if we can't pay the Troika, that we forget our future. We forget the value of our children and the families that are nurturing the future.

Children are one third of our population and all of our future.  

~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

Meanwhile my children are aware that almost every time they ask for something the answer is always "sorry, no love, we just can't afford it right now." And so we focus on the luxuries that we can give them, the ones that money can't buy, and squash them into their shoes for a bit longer. And pray that no one gets sick in a way our skeletal medical insurance can't cover.

We are down to the bare bones. Our family. Our country. Where do we go now?

In the end it is down to numbers on a computer. Not lives or values. Just economic survival. 

And computer says no. 

So the numbers must be made smaller. What these numbers represent does not matter so much. The impact on lives, the hardship, the anxiety, the loss of opportunity...

Well computer, you know what? 

We say NO too.

10 Irish parenting bloggers have joined forces in a “BlogMarch” to raise awareness of the crippling impact that cuts to child benefit will have on Irish families if introduced in December’s budget. The bloggers are publishing a blog post each over ten days to highlight the negative impact that child benefit cuts will have, as well as spearheading a nationwide media campaign. 

To find out more about the campaign, see my post here

You can join us on the new Irish Parenting Blogs Facebook page here

And on Twitter with the hash-tag #blogmarch 

You can contact Joan Burton, minister in charge of child benefit: joan.burton@oireachtas.ie

You can find the email addresses of all current TD’s and Senators here

You can sign the petition against Child Benefit Cuts here

There is a march organised against cuts to Child Benefit planned for November 3rd in Dublin. Starting at Parnell Square, D1 at 12 noon here

Read the other Blog March posts

The post that inspired me to start this whole campaign off: Ciara @Ouch My Fanny Hurts: Where her mother says we all need to speak up 

Day 1: 'Child Benefit Stole My Child's Allowance' at  
The Irish Rhymes

Day 2  (Tuesday 9th):          The Clothesline Blog    
'Stuck In The Middle- No To Child Benefit Cuts' 
http://theclotheslineie.wordpress.com

Day 3  (Wednesday 10th):   Mind The Baby  
Leave Child Benefit Alone, Tax Maternity Benefit Instead          
http://mindthebaby.wordpress.com/

Day 4  (Thursday 11th):       Dreaming Aloud    
Down to the Bare Bones - Cutting (the fat out of) Child Benefit       
http://www.dreamingaloud.net/

Day 5  (Friday 12th):          The Daily Muttering        
http://thedailymuttering.blogspot.ie/

Day 6  (Saturday 13th):       Kate Takes 5                
http://katetakes5.blogspot.ie/

Day 7  (Sunday 14th):         Wholesome Ireland      
http://wholesomeireland.com/

Day 8  (Monday 15th):        Ouch My Fanny Hurts 
http://ouchmyfannyhurts.wordpress.com/

Day 9  (Tuesday 16th):        Wonderful Wagon      
http://www.wonderfulwagon.com/

Day 10 (Wednesday 17th):  Mama.ie                   
http://mama.ie/

How to rock rainbow income streams

This has been a busy month. A wonderful work month doing what I love - writing, editing, teaching, painting - the first draft of Moon Time for Girls is now out with trusted mama readers. Darina Allen's blog that I have been designing and mentoring her on is live! The blogging course went well and has been put on their course schedule for the next year. And another two paintings sold yesterday - before I've even set a date for the exhibition!  And what really made my day was that the buyers LOVED them. They were so happy to have them. So I was happy to let go of some creative babies to loving new homes, and accept some (well priced) abundance in return.

Sold to the lovely Dreaming Aloud reader who bought me dinner too!

And I just did my sums, and this month I have made 2/3 of what I made LAST YEAR!!!!

Cha-ching!

This means I have made more, in less days than our main breadwinner! Wowzer! (Sending massive gratitude to Mr DA, he keeps the bread on the table and the loo roll on the holder when I have quiet months.- and doing something he doesn't love quite a much as I love my work - big love, dear Mr DA for your constant hard grind supporting us all over the years xxx)

It couldn't have come at a better time, the finances were looking rather grim, and the bills for next years uniforms/ books etc were coming at us.

Thank you dear rainbow income streams, showering abundance on us! 

Let me give you a break down - so that you can understand WHY rainbow income streams are so cool, and vital if you're self employed.

This month I have earned:

• 12% from consulting
• 11% from contracted writing/ editing
• 40% from selling my art
• 9% from affiliate programmes
• 8% from book sales
• 20% from teaching

As a "writer" I could be spending all my time pitching ideas that never get published by editors. Or waiting for my royalties to stack up.and "proving" to myself and the world that you can't do the creative work you want to for a living.

But this is how I'm making it work - by adding rainbow streams which each trickle or gush abundance at us according to the season.

My top tips for rainbow income streams:

• Don't be reliant on one employer/ contractee
• Have a balance of online/ off line, local/global, products/ services
• Use all your skills - brainstorm what you can do 
• Price fairly but well
• Tell people you're in business
• Accept money!!

And you know where I learnt all of this - from the wonderful Leonie Dawson (who I am an affiliate for). Her Business Goddess e-course comes as part of the year's subscription to the goddess circle, which is great for meeting new, likeminded business networkers, clients and collaborators. 

A  big heads up... She is doubling her prices on July 2nd, so if you've been wondering about joining, get in fast for only $99.

7 Top money resources for creative entrepreneurs

"When a deer drinks from a stream, the earth does not weep at the loss of
water. The value is cyclical. The earth is thankful for the deer, the deer is
thankful for the water. And the stream keeps flowing."

Tara Gentile, The Art of Earning

image: www.holidaysinsrilanka.com

And so, to the final post of my Mindful Money series.

What great feedback I've had from so many of you  on the Mindful Money series. Thank you all for reading and sharing, I'm glad it's been food for thought, and helpful to you. If you have missed any of the series, there is a list at the end of this post so you can catch up!

Do know that whilst I am philosophising about it here, I am still very much learning to put it into action now myself. I ebb and flow in my levels of confidence or cowardice. But I am learning. Slowly!

I know of so many women and men starting businesses right now, turning their passions into something they can make money from. Whether you are selling your wares at a market, your services, or establishing a more professional platform for your business, I think getting right about money - what to charge, how to cover your costs and time, and feel good about making a profit - is the biggest challenge on the road. Once you find peace with the money side of business, everything else falls into place.

" Our relationship with our money is directly

connected to our relationship with our

creativity." 

 Tara Gentile - The Art of Earning

The money freak-out thang is like a log damming up the river, once it's gone, everything else flows. After all, you're in business doing what you love, with passion and integrity. You want to be of service, to make a difference, to bring joy and love into people's lives - so the customer service aspect and the product aspect are there already to a degree - all you have to do is get confident in sharing your work with the world - and then taking right payment for it.

Oh it's so easy in black and white - but such a challenge in reality.

That's why there are a whole lot of people, some who have had great success in online business, and many, many self-styled prosperity coaches out there who want to HELP you, FOR A FEE!!! Many are cashing in on our insecurity, promising what they can't - and don't - deliver. I am always a little suspicious of people who make money out of telling other people how to make money!! They tend to be the ones who charge high prices, just to prove that they're worth it. A lot of them BUY their own ego bullshit.

I have done a lot of investigating, sampling and reading. I have found a number of products and e courses out there with major hype, and major prices (the Spark e course is one, at $150 for an ebook? Seriously?)

Here are my pick of the crop. Some free, some paid - but ALL offer SOME great free resources. I have used them all myself, though not necessarily for the prices they sell for (I got a number of them from the great 72 hour bundle deal I was talking about earlier this month).

But before you spend REMEMBER this: NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR YOU! They can give you tools, systems, flashes of insight, and methods for blasting through blocks - but the courage, the action, the application - is all YOURS!

So my top picks:

1) Leonie Dawson's Business e course. I found her e-book the single most useful tool in kickstarting my blogging, writing,online business, and selling my art. The e-course version, with built in support and feedback  is starting  on June 1st. She's also giving away a free e-book at the moment which has many handy biz and money tips and tricks which is well worth getting your hands on!

2) The $100 Start Up - a great new book from Chris Guillebeau. Highly readable in tone, it shares stories of successful passion based entrepreneurs who started on a shoe string, gleaning wisdom and practical tools from their experiences. I'm really loving it and recommend it very highly. He has a range of courses and e books for our types!

3) Maria Forleo's sassy b school looks seriously good for hands-on practical training in online business. I am really tempted, this year's intake includes a LOT of big names who I follow. But the $1999 fee is more than we have to invest right now. You can still get nuggets of her business insight through the great free videos she does, which I highly recommend.


4) The Art of Earning  is super-good for challenging the stories you tell yourself about money. I'm re-reading it at the moment and it is chock-full of major "AHA!" moments! I love that she sells it as a pay what you can deal.

5) Etsy does a great free blog and newsletters dedicated to pricing, selling and entrepreneurship. This post is great on pricing strategies

6) I'd Rather be in the Studio - is a great practical business e-book for artists and creatives of all colours. Full of very practical advice for setting up systems for getting strong business and money systems in place, building up mailing lists and keeping clients. It is a no bull shit book.

Oh and I have just discovered...

7) Designing an MBA has a great blog on the topic of money, profit, pricing and business for creative entrepreneurs as well as e courses and e books - and if you sign up to her mailing list gives away a great e book for free

Do share your favourite books/ e courses and teachers!

This is part of the Mindful Money series at Dreaming Aloud. Take some time to check out the other posts on...

Naming Your Price

Our Matriarchal Inheritance
The Blessing of Money
Guilt and money
The ugly ducking sells out: Finding my inner entrepreneur
Transformational Teachers
Beyond Money

Beyond money

Welcome back to Mindful Money Week!

One of the ways we can make peace with money is by it taking a less prominent role in our lives, in moving beyond money.

The more you are plugged into the external economy and the outside world, the more cash you need to fulfill your needs. The more self sufficient and plugged into informal money-less economies the less you will need. 

We are all plugged into the external economy to a greater or lesser extent and its impact can be damaging and scary, emotionally and financially for families, especially in these turbulent times.

How can we make our families more resilient, so we can ride the economic rollercoaster with maximum joy and confidence?

The sustainable money circle

1. know how much you have
2. know how much you need
3. know your skills
4. know your networks
5. know your value 
6. set up your income streams
7. do your work
8. collect your income
9. use your income
10. rest and reflect

Guilt doesn't live here any more

I was at a friend's house, admiring a craft book she had received as a gift. She said something which sounded like a foreign language to me. "I feel really guilty every time I see it, I asked for it for my birthday,and someone spent money on it, and I haven't made anything from it."

Perhaps you recognise this feeling? Guilt used to be one of the most pervasive emotions in my life. I felt guilty about everything. But in particular my entire existence and its impact on everyone.

Yes, I had a very strong case of the guilties. Symptoms of which include: apologising for everything all the time, low lying anger and resentment, feeling shit, self flagellation...But I realised in that moment, with exception of my deeply embedded maternal guilt, that guilt does not live here any more.

It was a truly liberating realisation. I had a think about what had changed. And it came to me.

Guilt is a sense of your own unworthiness. It is a blocking, rejecting act. The antidote to guilt is gratitude. It is pretty much impossible to feel guilt if one is grateful for something.

Gratitude is an opening of your hands and heart towards what has been bestowed on you.Gratitude, as I wrote in Wild Sister magazine, is a relatively new practice for me, and it's working magic!

So next time you feel guilty. Take a step back. See yourself shrunken and small and feeling its lack. Then find something to feel grateful for in that situation. And watch the greatest disappearing act of all time: POOF! Your guilt has gone!

The blessing of money

Do you consider yourself blessed?

We live as energetic beings in a body and world of form. To be fully healthy and balanced we cannot deny either part. And yet we do!

Often those of us who walk the path of spirituality, can get to feeling really uncomfortable about the world of form. We feel, or are told, that it is a "lower" realm, of "base" interests, which can trap and defile us. It is our job to transcend it. We must shun money, worldly possessions. We have camels and needles quoted at us ( often by hideously wealthy patriarchs...)

Oh sister, I've been there. And you know what, it's partly true. Ultimately all material things will pass away, you are not your wealth. We humans have the constant ability to confuse who we are with what we do and what we have. but once you have become vigilant of that delusion, the reality is that we are here, living our lives in form.

Money is a part of that world of forms.Shunning it cuts you out of the game, it disempowers your vast potential to do good. You see, if you don't make money, then you're always worrying where the money that you need to live will come from, so all your energy and anxiety goes there, rather than into all the good, all the creative miracles you could be creating in the world.

Our matriarchal inheritance

This post is part of Mindful Money week. Do check out my previous posts.

"It is important for women to get wealth in our hands.
As western women we have the opportunity to claim our birthright, to create wealth, doing something that we love. 
It is our birthrite but not necessarily our destiny." 

Sage Lavine

FACT: The majority of women for the majority of western history have had no money of their own. They have been excluded from the power, status and freedom that money brings.

FACT: Women have been systematically prevented - by laws, morality, religion and social mores, from having the right to earn, be financially independent, inherit or save.

It is little wonder that we women can be scared of money and feel under-confident around it today.  This is our story. Our ancestors' story. This is our collective unconcious.

Our bodies have been bought in marriage with dowries, domestic servitude, prostitution and slavery. The fear of destitution has kept women in unhappy, abusive marriages for centuries.

We have given ourselves to mothering and householding, some of the most demanding work around, for free, for generations uncounted. Our sense of lack of deserving for putting real value to our work is endemic and has been reinforced from every side.

Now you may well be a feisty independent woman, with your own bank account and income and a partner totally committed to your blossoming. Scrub that! If you're reading this blog I know you are!  (Even if your inner confident girl is curled up and having a little sleep right now.)

So what's all this got to do with you? You've never been a slave or disinherited for being female...

But wait - most of us still, to some extent, hold the underlying inheritance, cultural, and epigenetic, of women's financial weakness.

Hell, research consistently shows that women are less likely to go for promotion, ask for a rise or apply for the highest paid jobs. In the wage earning community women. Women still earn 79% of every man's dollar. FOR THE SAME JOB.

This is not about man-bashing. I am a deep lover of men. (Some men especially, Mr DA ;) xxx) Nor is it a whine, blaming everything on history.

But it is part of our cultural and historical conditioning, an innate part of our thought processes. If we don't see this clearly, then we blame ourselves for our weakness, our stupidity.

And does that empower us?

Nope, it puts us back in our box. Like the abused blaming themselves for the abuse perpetrated against them.

Name your price

Do you know the Universe's favourite joke?

It's a one liner. Told ad infinitum. Even though I don't seem to find it hugely amusing.See if you recognise it!

This little routine goes something like this:

Me: I want to write a book (teach a course, paint a picture...)

Universe: Great, let's get to it.

Me: Ta -da! Hurray! Get me! I just wrote a book!

Universe: congrats! Now name your price!

Me: But oh, I don't want to make it too expensive, it's not really worth much!

Uni: Great! Name your price!

Me: But I've spent hundreds of hours on it. If I priced it on a per hour basis I'd need to ask for a lot more.

Uni: Great! Name your price!

Me: Look, this is the going rate. I'll charge that.

Uni: Great! Name your price!

Me: But I'm not that good. I'm only starting out.

Uni: Great! Name your price!

Me: OK, this is my price.... (A few minutes/ hours/ days later).... Ummm, no I'm worth more than that!

Uni: Great! Name your price!

Me: Yes! I am going to charge my worth. This is great product. I am a good person. X charges X for theirs, and they are rubbish. Up it goes!

Uni: Great! Name your price!

Me: But then everyone will think I'm greedy. And that it's over priced. They'll see that I'm a sham. They'll feel ripped off. They'll hate me. Yes, that's it, they'll hate me, and they'll tell everyone what a bad person I am. And then no one will buy it. And then we'll never have enough money...

Uni: Great! Name your price!

Do you recognise this?

And so with a mixture of deft research, bravado, self undercutting, guts and terror, weeks of sleepless nights and feeling sick you name your price.

And then the world ends. Everyone hates you. You never work again...

Oh no, scratch that! What really happens is this... Your customer buys, and pays. Or doesn't. They come back. Or perhaps they don't. End of....tell me again where the drama is?!

Mindful money week

This is the introduction to the Mindful Money series at Dreaming Aloud. Take some time to check out the other posts on...

Naming Your Price

Our Matriarchal Inheritance
The Blessing of Money
Guilt
Finding your inner entrepreneur
Transformational Teachers
Beyond Money

WELCOME TO THE MINDFUL MONEY SERIES.

Do you have peace with money? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable when even the thought of it comes up?

Money holds a lot of emotional energy for most of us.

Everywhere I see people struggling with it:

• Those who scorn money and won't admit that they need it, and then get angry at the world because they are struggling. 
• Those who live in enforced deprivation.
• High flying gurus who are cashing in on $1000 an hour coaching fees, flogging over priced products to the desperate,  promising miracles they cannot provide. The spiritual movement seems as guilty of this as pure capitalists.
• The majority of the world who sell their souls for the highest wage they can get, in work that sucks them dry, that they don't believe in.
• Women who when asked to name their price for their work prefer to give it away for free than value themselves.
• The mega rich who squander their wealth.
• Those who use it to manipulate and abuse.

We're in a very unhealthy state about money - as individuals and collectively. 

We scrimp and save, we waste and splurge mindlessly. We borrow what we cannot afford. We undervalue ourselves, then steal to make up the difference. Or we drive too hard a bargain which impoverishes others.

Richness, and poverty are incredibly subjective terms. Many people who are financially wealthy feel they don't have enough.

We are mindless about money. Often it "makes us feel" guilty, angry, greedy, needy. We become obsessed by it. Or try to have nothing to do with it.

What's that all about? Why all the emotion?

Money is just paper, just numbers... or is it? It seems to hold humanity in its thrall.

Money can become our shadow.

Our civilisation is being brought to its knees by our mindlessness to do with money - the banking crises and credit crunch, bankruptcy in nations and individuals.

So this week we're going to spend exploring money - how we make it, how we charge it, how to feel good about it, how to value ourselves, how to move beyond money...

In order to become mindful, we need to be honest. The only way to see a shadow is to shine your light on it and look.

This can feel uncomfortable.

But get this: THEY ARE ONLY FEELINGS. ONLY THOUGHTS.

Yes, really!

So take a deep breath. And let's get to work.

I'm really excited about this!! I vision it as a way that we can support each other in becoming healthy in our earning - and spending. So that we can make our peace with money. So that we can transition to a new sense of value, of economics, of worth in our own lives - which can seed itself into our culture.

This may well become an e course in the future - so consider it a work in progress, which you get to see emerging, for free - and get to contribute to the creation of!

I ask this of you in return - in the spirit of giving and receiving which we are exploring. If what you are reading touches you - please give something in return, whatever feels really good to you - no expectations, no obligation. And absolutely NO guilt!

Giving back could mean ...

• Share the posts whether on Facebook/ Twitter or by email (see the buttons below this post for a quick and easy way) 
• Join the discussion. Add your comments, your questions, your experiences.
• You can support my work financially by donating, buying from The Happy Womb or Etsy, or buying via any of the affiliate links I share on this site.

Thank you...

This is the introduction to the Mindful Money series at Dreaming Aloud. Take some time to check out the other posts on...

Naming Your Price

Our Matriarchal Inheritance
The Blessing of Money
Guilt
Finding your inner entrepreneur
Transformational Teachers
Beyond Money

The ugly duckling is in business

I have always identified with the ugly duckling. See these fluffy grey feathers? They've never quite fitted in. I've never been one thing or t'other.

Now let me tell you a secret: there is nothing more draining than being what you think you're supposed to be and then feeling you don't measure up. That you're always not quite good enough. When it turns out you just haven't seen yourself clearly. You've been using the wrong classification chart to identify your inner beast.

Excuse me for being thick. But I've just realised something which is a complete revelation to me... I am an entrepreneur.

Well, duh!

You could see that, right? As clear as the nose on my face, I'm guessing.

But me, I was thinking that I was a writer, who painted, and taught, and made chocolates on the side. And I wasn't good enough at any of them, a bit of a failure all round (welcome to my little inner carnival of self doubt.)

I have been in denial. And that has clipped my wings.

I have been repressing something that I am actually very good at: selling! Ha! Bet you didn't expect that! Truth be told, I didn't either. In fact I've been almost allergic to it in recent years.

Then within a week from all sides the scales were peeled from my eyes. Two weekend conferences in a row I, in the words of Maria Forleo, "hustled my buns off", selling Juno by the bag load, as well as lots of cards, books and dials. And I loved it. Felt absolutely on fire. Totally alive and connected. I'm really good at this...I chuckled to myself. I made money and my dear customer ladies went away happy, connected, inspired...

Then four people in a week mentioned entrepreneurship: my friend Sharon outed me first over tea and cake. Then Maria Forleo's awesome videos, the e book I'd Rather be in the Studio, and Kind Over Matter's wonderful new e book Zen and the Art of being a Work at Home Mama (which she is doing as a pay what you can deal!) 

 

She identified herself as being a forth generation entrepreneur and I thought, dammit, I'm a third generation one, of course!

It's in my blood: not just the creative genes which come from both sides three generations back. But yes, entrepreneurship. I see now that I have started about 10 businesses in the past 7 years: pregnancy yoga, chocolate making, freelance writing, wreath making, festival planning, self publishing... But each time I back off when the business needs come to the fore, the need to sell rears its head. I run for the hills: I'm just a little girl, I can't sell, my work isn't good enough, I'm not experienced enough, I don't deserve, please like me...

But something has shifted. I realised that they are all just voices. I wouldn't make my work if I didn't think it was good enough. But being my own biggest critic I'm burning up so much energy. Self doubt is like cutting off your own wings and then wondering why you can't fly.

You know what? The bullshit takes up too much time and energy that could be better spent making magic, having fun, making money...

So long bullshit!

My mind has shifted, and with it my energy too. I started my website as a place to sell my books. The books being the focus, not the selling or business sides. I resented the business bit for taking my time and energy away from the creating. But now I see, that's an integral part of the puzzle, of my identity, it's part of me, part of my work, part of my job. Because if people don't know about me and my work, if I don't tell them about it, I'm withholding something which they are looking for, wanting, needing.

Healing money, that's a whole other blog post. Taking back money from the broken model, from patriarchy if you like. Earning my worth as a woman on my terms, within a loving, sustainable business model. One which cares, which helps to feed transformation on a personal and social scale. Which supports me in being with my family and doing the creative work I love.

Hell yeah! The ugly duckling is in business!


This is part of the Mindful Money series at Dreaming Aloud. Take some time to check out the other posts on...

Naming Your Price

Our Matriarchal Inheritance
The Blessing of Money
Guilt
Finding your inner entrepreneur
Transformational Teachers
Beyond Money