Showing posts with label blogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogs. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Nurturing a Family Culture of Creativity

Welcome to Week One of the month-long Carnival of Creative Mothers to celebrate the launch of The Rainbow Way: Cultivating Creativity in the Midst of Motherhood
by Lucy H. Pearce

Today's topic is Nurturing a Culture of Creativity at Home. Do read to the end of the post for a full list of carnival participants.


Join the Carnival and be in with a chance to win a free e-copy of The Rainbow Way!

November 27th: Creative Heroines.
December 4th: Creative Inheritance.
December 11th: The Creative Process.

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One of the best bits of having children around is having the “excuse” and the materials on hand to be creative almost all the time! And what is more, we have companions who do not know the rules, who have imagination and energy by the bucket-load.


We have the chance for a second bite of the cherry of childhood. Being a parent gives us so many wonderful opportunities every day to connect with our own creativity again. It allows us to explore a huge variety of art forms that in the adult world we are cut off from because we are not “good enough” to indulge in them, which make the human spirit soar: singing, dancing, storytelling, improvisation, clowning, painting, sculpting, collage, playing percussion, dressing up, puppet shows, model making…the list is endless!

Our role as parents cultivating creativity, as I see it, is four-fold:
  • First to provide a rich environment – not necessarily of expensive paints and costumes, but basic materials.
  • Second, to step back and see how they intuitively choose to use them and join them in this.
  • Third, to share ways that we know to use these materials, and share our skills with them.
  • And fourth to model our own creative process to them – both by letting them see “behind the scenes” in our creative lives, to share how our creative process works, and allow them to see us fully absorbed in it.


Creating together is not just about today’s painting or model, but about setting the tone and feeling for your child’s experience of creativity for the rest of their lives. When we can see it as a privilege to engage creatively with our children, our time together becomes richer and more rewarding for us and them.

Nurturing a culture of creativity allows your child to regularly experience autotelic experiences (those which enable a flow state). Csikszentmihaly’s research into flow states found that: "early childhood influences are also very likely factors in determining whether a person will or will not easily experience flow."

So in creating a culture of creativity, not only are you passing on valuable skills, confidence in their own creative ideas and abilities, but you are helping to wire their brains to more easily experience optimal experiences for the rest of their lives.

A culture of creativity honors and requires:

• Space for silence to bloom: for concentrated work, and contemplation.
• Space for sharing our voices, visions, experiences and dreams.
• Appreciation and enjoyment of the process, not judgment of works in progress.
• Courage and respect for trying new things. Being allowed to like them…or not.
• A need for responsibility.
• A time for mess!
• A respect of basic safety guidelines and rules.
• Prioritizing fun.
• Support for developing abilities.
• The understanding that creativity has an intrinsic value, beyond its extrinsic practical worth.
• Self-reliance.
• Dreams, possibility and the fully-fledged imagination.
• Celebration – of big festivals and small mysteries, and knowing how to mourn the losses and failures too.

When we choose to nurture a culture of creativity, we commit to giving our children the support and appreciation necessary for the breathtaking unfolding of their unbounded intellectual, aesthetic, collaborative and imaginative capacities.

We show them that we are responsible for creating our own lives and that we can have a direct impact on every area of them. Our creativity can be used to create our living spaces, the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the gifts we give to each other. But most of all we share directly with them that life is good, and that joy, celebration and beauty are to be nurtured and treasured – that life is not all work, hardship, suffering, nor should it be dominated by practicality and money-making. 

Through nurturing creativity we give our children the practical and emotional skills to be productive, engaged authors of their own destinies. 


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and grab your free extras 
(first 200 orders only!):

- exclusive access to a private Facebook group for creative mothers

- a vibrant greetings card and book-mark of one of the author's paintings.



Kindle and paperback editions from Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com Book Depository, Barnes and Noble

or order it from your local bookshop!

  • Carnival host and author of The Rainbow Way, Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares an extract from the chapter Nurturing a Family Culture of Creativity.
  • Lilly Higgins is a passionate food writer. Now a mother of two boys, she's discovered a new calling: to instil in them a love of food and creativity in the kitchen.
  • DeAnna L'am shares how visioning the New Year with your child is an invitation to be inspired: use creativity and resolutions to create a fun road map for the year ahead.
  • Molly at Talk Birth on Releasing Our Butterflies - balancing motherhood with creativity.
  • Laura shares some of the creativity happening at Nestled Under Rainbows and a few thoughts about creativity.
  • Georgie at Visual Toast celebrates her own unique culture of creativity at home.
  • Esther at Nurtureworkshop spreads the love of the ordinary, the delights of everyday things that can be an adventure of the imagination.
  • For Dawn at The Barefoot Home creativity is always a free form expression to be shared by all in a supportive environment where anything can be an art material.
  • Naomi at Poetic Aperture is a mother, artist and photographer who tries to keep her daughter away from the expensive pens and paints.
  • Aimee at Creativeflutters writes about keeping your sanity and creativity intact with small kids in the house in her post: Mother + Creativity - They Must Coexist.
  • Amelia at My Grandest Adventure embarks on a 30 Days of Creativity challenge...you can too!
  • Becky at Raising Loveliness explores creating with her smaller family members.
  • Jennifer at Let Your Soul Shine reveals how children help us connect to our souls, through music and movement.
  • Mary at The Turquoise Paintbrush shares her experiences of creating with kids.
  • Joanna at Musings of a Hostage Mother explains why creativity at home is important to her in her post "I nurture a creative culture."
  • It took until Amy at Mama Dynamite was pregnant aged 35 to discover her dormant creative streak - she has found lovely ways of tuning into it every since.
  • Emily at The Nest explores how creativity runs through her family's life together.
  • Jennifer at OurMuddyBoots sees that encouraging creativity in children is as simple as appreciating them for who they are: it just means overriding everything we know!
  • Lisa from Mama.ie has discovered that a combination of writing and traditional crafts can provide a creative outlet during those busy early years of new motherhood.
  • Anna at Biromums shares what nurturing a culture of creativity means to her.
  • Zoie at TouchstoneZ argues that the less they are interfered with, the more creative children become as they grow up.
  • Darcel at The Mahogany Way celebrates creating with her kids.
  • Sally (aka The Ginger Ninja) of The Ginger Chronicles is continually inspired by her own mum and grandmother.
  • Just being creative is enough, says Nicki at Just Like Play, as she ponders her journey of nurturing a creative family.
  • Allurynn shares her creative family's musings in her post "Creativity... at the Heart of it" on Moonlight Muse.
  • Laura at Authentic Parenting explores how being creative saves her sanity.
  • Mama is Inspired talks about how she puts an emphasis on the handmade in her home, especially in the holiday season.
  • Kirstin at Listen to the Squeak Inside shares with you several easy ways for busy mamas and dads to encourage their children to be creative every day.
  • Mila at Art Play Day always lived in her dreams, sleepwalking through life ... now she is finding out what creativity is all about.... her inner child!
  • Sadhbh at Where Wishes Come From describes how picture books can nurture creativity in young children.
  • On womansart blog this week - nurturing a creative culture at home.



Thursday, October 3, 2013

Dear Blogger...12 Reasons Why I Don't Comment on Your Blog

Hey there,

I've been reading you for ages... but we've never met.

You've made me laugh till the wee ran down my legs. You've made me cry, big bawling snotty sobs, sending me to bed with a racing head and aching heart. You've made me feel seen, and not so strange. You've added new words and concepts to my vocabulary. Your kids have made me feel jealous with their general cuteness. Your links have lead me to information that has changed my life.

You have held my heart in your hands... even though I have never even said hello.

I always mean to, and want to...

It's just...

1) I'm an introvert, and not very good at making small talk and so I never know what to say in response...
2) I feel silenced by the magnitude of wonder I have just absorbed from you and my words all dried up.
3) I always feel like I'm not part of your inner circle, so my comment doesn't matter. You and your cyber pals are like SO cliquey.
4) Lots of other people have already said what I was going to say. My piffling comment is redundant in this sea of adulation, interspersed with the occasional troll - WHY does everyone always bait the troll... WTF, are they INSANE? That is SO bitchy...
5) I'm busy, busy, busy... no time!
6) I tried, and the fucking secret codes and password and demands that I type out blurry numbers  made me lose my shite. I am NOT a fucking spambot, just believe me! I don't want to comment THAT much! Who are you, President of the fucking world? Not even SHE has this much fucking security!
7) I commented. A long heartfelt comment. And it just disappeared into cyber space. I'll be fucked if I'm going to write it all out again.
8) HOW do you comment, any way?
9) Comments are just SO 2003.
10) Shhh, I don't want anyone to know I'm reading this!
11) Bloggers aren't real... so why comment?
12) I HATE YOU! (this is what we Bloggers believe when our posts are met with silence - we are very sensitive types!)

This goes out to all the bloggers whose blogs I love, but have never commented on - one or more apply to each! Renegade Mothering, Momastery, Finding Joy, Unabashedly Female, Heather Plett, Parenting with Crappy Pictures... and so many more!

Hey you, silent reader, I dare you, tell me which number applies to you! I don't have any horrible secret codes to get past!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Rocking the big P! Making Pinterest work for you!

Listen, I love Pinterest. I've made no secret about that.
But I know a lot of people who managed to get themselves an account, but then just follow from the side lines. 

If you're one of those it's my self-proclaimed duty today to get you all fired up - and getting the most out of Pinterest.  After all, you joined cos you liked the look of it. But then maybe you got all flustered or overwhelmed. We're sorting that out right now! 

And if you've started but want to build your following, these tips helped me quadruple my followers from 120 to 500 in less than 3 months.

Why does Pinterest matter?

  • It is a virtual mood/ vision board for anything you are dreaming up
  • It will fire up your creativity. Guaranteed.
  • You will discover loads of like minded foodies/ creatives/ mamas all around the world.
  • It's cheaper than buying magazines and books. It's free!
  • Looking at your boards is like bathing in beauty, it gives you a great beauty boost.
  • It's a great way to archive links that you love so you don't lose them.
  • It's a great way of sharing your own links to your creations, blog, shop etc.
  • It is, in the words of Suzanna Conway, a magazine of you.

So first things first.

What lights you up? What are you obsessed by/ What makes your heart beat faster. (These things do it for me...) Set a timer for 5 mins, free-write everything down.

1) Now create new boards for each of these. This will help you to categorise, and make sure you are passionate about what you're pinning. Make them niche ... and give them curiousity-piquing titles. Be funny, be clever. Be precise. Be particular. When I say niche I mean don't just have "art" - subdivide it into genres, artists. I recommend mixing it up between specific genres, like spirals, peacocks, full moon, sumptuous cakes and more compilation type story boards, like Woman of the Woods, In the Red Tent...

2) Make gorgeous board covers. People will TOTALLY judge your pins by your cover. Pick your most favourite pin. Which works cropped to cover size. To do this, on your profile page hover over a board cover, then click on "Edit board cover" press the arrows to go through the possibilities, click and move the image to centre it as you want it.

3) Be a curator. Imagine your Pinterest boards as a museum. Or be an editor, imagine them as a magazine. Rearrange your boards to walk people through them in a way that makes sense. Some choose to group them alphabetically by title. I choose to have my most popular at the top, and then group by similar interst, so I have all my craft ones together, all my recipes together. Cos the chances are if someone's into cakes, they'll probably be into pies and donuts too. But they might hate moon time. This way I keep them near what they want.

Handy hint:To move your boards, at the top of your profile page next to "Edit profile" is a picture of a computer monitor with two arrows. Hover over it and it'll say "rearrange boards". Click this, it'll go red. Click and drag. And then click that button to save. Save regularly, if you move off this page all your hard work will be lost. I speak from experience!

4) Follow people who have similar boards. This means that their feeds feed into your personal fee, so you get lots of what you love and little general stuff that you don't. To get into your personal feed press the Pinterest logo in the top centre of the page. This alone will make your Pinterest experience infinitely more fun and beautiful. On this page, on the lefthand sidebar you will see the "recent activity" column. Here you'll see who's repinning and following you recently. You can click through to any of them.

How else do you find people to follow? When you repin a pin, a little box flashes up telling you another board that it is pinned to as well. This is a great filter. You can either click follow right then and there, or click on their name to go through to check out their boards. Do this!!!

Handy hint: Every image, (unless it is "uploaded by user") is linked to a website. To get to the website click on the image, and then when it opens up in a separate window click on that image and it will take you there. 

5) Choose carefully!! When you are choosing people to follow, go to their profile page, focus on those who have less than 800 followers, as they will still get email notifications and will notice you pop up in their control panel. They will then come and check out your boards, see you are a kindred spirit, follow you, and a beautiful Pinterest love affair is born! If you follow Pinners with massive (usually bought) followings, they will NOT follow you back.

REMEMBER, you can follow individual boards rather than follow a Pinner. Just follow what you love!

6) Make a good profile page. Put up a nice pic of yourself, share a few words that tell people about your interests and passions. Share your blog/ website.

7)  Pinterest etiquette: don't pin 50 things on one board on one go, it puts people off and they will unfollow. So mix it up.

Handy hint - In the past, every pin went out onto the main boards, now only one pin every eight hours goes onto them, so the more followers you have,the more possible repins. Why does this matter? Platform building... and ego boosts!

8) Get techie!! Go to to "About" menu in the Pinterest header, and select the second option from the drop down menu "Pin It button". This gives you lots of goodies:

  • A "pin marklet" to download onto your browser's navigation bar to make adding new pins easy as pie.  Then whatever website/ blog you are on when you're going about your daily websurfing, you hit that button and it will show you all available images to pin, and opens your boards straight up.
  • Apps for i phone and i pad
  • Badges to add to your blog/website so people can follow you easily.

9) Upload good quality new pins from other sites, label them well - with the name of the artist/ author/ website and a few key words. Places like foodgawker and etsy are great places to get new images from. Do not upload images from google image searches, this is a rookie mistake. Be sure you link direct to the original site. Introducing original images will get you out there and get lots of repins with your name

10) Be wary of group boards. If you follow them you will be bombarded with lots of mediochre pins, and the occasional bit of spam advertising too.

11) Change your email notification settings. Do this. You do NOT want to know every time someone repins a pin. But it's great to know when you get new followers.

12) Share your boards on Facebook, Twitter and your blog, especially in groups! If people don't know you have boards, they won't know to follow them!!

13) Pin regularly. The more you pin, the more you get the hang of it, and the more repins you get.

Hope this helps! Do share your pinterest accounts below! And follow me!


Monday, December 31, 2012

Looking back… looking forward…


And so as the turn of the year approaches I look back over the year that was. In total amazement for the year that was. And give thanks.

First things first, I survived the end of the world. And if you are reading this, then you did too. Hurray for us! Mojitos all round, I say!

I nominated this my year of abundant rainbows. And it sure was. I made a sacred vow to myself out loud on this blog that this would be the year I let myself do my thing out loud - sing, dance, paint and generally be me, and mama I did. Mission accomplished!

2012 in brief...
Publishing contracts: 1
Books published: 2 
Books written: 4
Paintings done: Over 50
Journals filled: 4
Blogging courses taught: 3
Blog posts written: 173- over 4 blogs!
Most popular blog post of 2012 - Our Cupboards are Full but there's nothing to Eat - absolutely NO idea why this is so popular - it has had just shy of 3000 pageviews in 11 months!
My favourite blog post of 2012 on Dreaming Aloud - weirdly - Almost
My favourite blog post elsewhere - my December one on Tiny Buddha: Overcoming Anxiety: Moving from Fear to Presence
Nights away by myself: 2
Trips to the UK: 2. 

Not to mention a painting exhibition, and my first full year in business as a professional creative rainbow mama! 

It also brought us a near fatal accident. Lots of anxiety. Lots of illness for us all. But we're all still here, coughing and spluttering to greet a new year. And for that I am beyond grateful.

I have spent the past month taking stock of the year - creatively, to do with life goals, emotionally and for my business. I tried Susannah Conway's free 2013 life planner, which was good, but not nearly so good as Leonie's Life planner, which I got last year and adored using, and her brand new Business Planner which has transformed my intentions and plans for the year ahead (from "I'm not sure I can face another year in business, working all the hours and not making that much" to "whoopee, I am SO excited about next year... and I know how I can triple my income,whilst spending more time doing the bits of my work that I love". It is nothing short of transformational - and fun to do - it comes highly, highly recommended!

One of my resolutions for 2013, is to programme in retreat time. So this year I found myself driving the same road that I did a year ago. The same highway to the wilds of West Cork. The same exodus from family life. The same need for reflection and creative dreamtime.

But rather than the desperation that came with last year’s escape, instead I had this retreat booked in, a day and night, put in the calendar, made sacred with intention, the space held for me! I went to a women's full moon circle, with a dear friend, one that I wasn't leading and so got to retreat, be nourished, reflect and create. And it was perfect.

I am making sure to book them in throughout the year. Which is getting easier as the kiddies get older, and I am no longer breastfeeding. My next date booked is 6th January meeting the Wild Women of Cork for drumming, dance and henna. I can't wait!

And my word for this year. Very simple. But very challenging: Trust. It came to me as I was wondering if I should sign my publishing contract. So that's it. Trust.

and my big plans for the year? Well, you'll just have to wait and see!

What's your word for the year? What resources have you found helpful in reflecting on 2012, and visioning 2013? What are your hopes and dreams and plans for yourself? Do share them below! Speaking them aloud helps to clarify and materialise them!


Friday, November 23, 2012

The Scum of the Universe

I take a break from my usual sweetness and light to go on an all out attack on the scum of the universe.

Spammers.

Numerous times a day I have to delete their gobbledegook, badly spelled, ungrammatical insults from my inbox.

Take the most recent one which came through when I was at lunch. Let me share the delights of it:
I belіve everything published made a lot of sense. (of course it did, I rock!)
Ηoωever, think аbоut thіѕ, what if you аddeԁ a little content? (um, dick wad, you added this comment to a post which is 800 words long with multiple images)
Ι mean, I dοn't wish to tell you how to run your website, (then fuck off and stop annoying me, as my father would say) but suppose you added something that makes people desire more? I mean "Craft-Tea Christmas Celebrations" is kinda plain. (no, thicko, it's actually a clever play on words)
Υοu might add a video or a рic or tωo to grab readerѕ intеrested about
evеrythіng've got to say. (oh thank you, for gracing me with your wisdom, oh spammer, I'd never considered that) Just my opinion, it would make your website a little bit more interesting.(You know my opinion? Get yourself a job and stop annoying us all.)
Also see my web page www.i'm a tosser.com
Fucking, wanking, irritating cyber scum, with no purpose except wasting everybody's time.


Not only do they block up my spam filters, cos their spam is so crap that it can't get past them. I have to read their shite. They seem incapable of writing. Man spammer grammar bugs me.They're scum because not only are they spamming, but they always do it in a negative way "have you seen what people are saying about you?", "your content is poor".

And even though you know it's probably spam, you just have to check, in case some poor unfortunate real human reader has fallen foul of the spam filters and needs fishing out. And even though you know its spam, you pick up the negative energy.

I make no exceptions. They are scum. Wasting peoples' time, money and emotional energy, for little gain.
  • There are the spammers who leave random links on your blog. 
  • Spammers that send you shite about Viagra and African inheritances to your email address. 
  • Spammers that hack into your email account and send all your friends desperate stories and try to get them to send money, this has happened to three friends in the past couple of months. 
  • Spammers who try to get you to place their guest post plus dubious links up on your site for the princely sum of $10. 
  • There are the spammers who hack into email servers and hijack them to send shite from your business address to their own mailing lists, as happened to my poor husband this week, causing him days of stress and costing my father's company his week's wages trying to rectify it.
Sorry, I've been too hasty, I'm sure there's some great, sexy James Bond types out there - and if they're reading - my bank details are 1493042466 Sort Code: Kiss My Ass.

Umm, I think I might be premenstrual!!!


Thursday, November 1, 2012

Hot off the press - my new book!


I am excited to share with you the publication of my second book, Moods of Motherhood, just in time to mark the second birthday of Dreaming Aloud. 

Hurray for me, hurray for you - so glad you're here, dearest dreamers!

So what about this book, Lucy, I hear you ask, what's it about???

Well, dear reader, it is a compilation of my best-loved posts on motherhood from Dreaming Aloud, my columns from JUNO magazine and many new pieces, never before published. This is a book full of my trademark searing honesty and raw emotions. It will make you laugh and cry - wherever on your mothering journey you may be.

Topics include: tenderness, pregnancy and birth, happy days, anger and fierceness, playfulness, love, patience, homemaking and much, much more... it is illustrated throughout with beautiful black and white photographs.

I really wanted to put all the glory stuff that I have written about motherhood into one place, so that you can hold me in your hands, so that you can snuggle up with all the best bits in the cosy warmth of your bed, rather than the cold blue light of your computer screen.

I have put it together by topic so that you can dip in and out, wherever you are in your mothering journey. Pick it up for wisdom, reassurance, a laugh, some empathy. Take me to the park in your bag, keep me by your bed, or on your bookshelf... what a funny concept! See a review here and here.

Perhaps you have a friend or sister who isn't into blogs, but you wanted to share Dreaming Aloud with her... well now you can!

You can buy it from me at The Happy Womb - all copies are signed and come with one of my brand new bookmarks! It is also available in Kindle and Paperback from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. Please do leave me a review on Amazon!

Let me share with you the introduction...
My grandmother always said: “You are your baby’s weather.” How true that is! There is nothing more remarkable about the act of mothering than the changing moods. The weather of motherhood can seemingly alter from moment to moment, day to day, a rollercoaster of emotions stronger than one has ever experienced before. The stakes, after all, are far higher than anything we have ever played for before: the very life, health and happiness of a creature that is our own flesh and blood.

On reading back over my blog, I noticed how contrasting posts follow one day after the other – all so real, yet so intangible. Like the weather we are only left with vague memories and snapshots of how hot or cold it was, no real yardstick of the tempests and sunshine of our mothering years.

Other mothers were drawn to these posts, these outpourings of emotion, frustration, joy and despondency. It seems we are all yearning for a reflection of our own tumultuous experiences, a validation of the endless emotional turmoil and physical exhaustion which motherhood reeks in our lives. We seem to lack a language to share both the mundane repetitiveness of our daily mothering lives, as well as a forum for sharing the deeper emotional parts. For perhaps the first time in history, the mothers of the twentieth and twenty first centuries mothered alone, in separate houses, often far from family support. The job of parenting is not meant to be handled by one adult, it takes a tribe.

Few of us entered the role prepared, though we might have been expecting (some) sleepless nights and smelly nappies, the all-consuming nature of motherhood lay hidden, until we were well and truly embarked on our maiden voyage. The sweetness of a first baby’s smile did not reveal the cacophony of demands which another child - or three - would bring.

Most knew how they wanted to be, and what they most certainly would not do. And then after the first glow of motherhood had worn off, the disappointments begin stacking up: the ideals which had fallen by the wayside, the perfection not achieved, due to lack of energy, experience, insight or something else.

And at that point we can despair and see ourselves as failing. But the mothering journey, does not, cannot stop that day, even though we feel we cannot continue. And it is in overcoming these moments that we find ourselves as the mothers we truly are. In this moment we let the perfect mother die, and embrace our quirky, impatient, silly, messy, deeply loving mother selves.

This book is far from a parenting manual written by an objective expert. Rather it is the life of a mother – warts and all. It is compiled from posts written for my blog, Dreaming Aloud, published articles and previously unpublished work. So here, for you, is a journey through the emotional terrain of a mother, from humour to heartbreak, though the story is mine, it could be yours.

When I was the mother of one, I thought I was an expert. Which is why I became a writer on parenting issues!  As the mother of three, I have been humbled to my core. I have realised just how much I don’t know or can’t do – and just how little I am “in control”. And yet ironically with that knowledge and acceptance, comes a little more wisdom, and a lot more experience.

I see new friends starting out on the road to motherhood with mixed feelings. Immense joy at the ecstasy of love they are about to experience, great protectiveness, wishing to shield them from the scars it will make on their souls, the pain, the heart ache, the worry, the exhaustion, the touching of anger which they had been able to keep hidden all these years. But this is the journey. The one that makes us the mothers that we will be. The mothers that our children will live with every day, yet barely know.

Becoming a mother brings with it such a vast raft of complications for the psyche, before you add the momentous task of caring for a small and ever-changing child to the mix. Becoming a mother reawakens our own feelings, good and bad, about our own mothers. It changes our relationship with our partner forever: suddenly we are not just lovers but parents. And it shifts us instantaneously into the next generation, causing potentially seismic shifts in friendships where one set are not parents and we now are. Not to mention the adjustment between us and our families of origin. And that is before we even consider the massive shift in roles for most modern women from full time work or study out in the world, to suddenly being at home, if only for the first weeks, with a small being who needs you all the time. Ideas of women’s roles in society suddenly become less abstract or idealised, and the whole dilemma of who cares for the child, who works, who pays the bills and how suddenly become pressing realities with few ideal answers.

Very often I find it hard to be really mentally present with my children – though I aspire to be. I find the demands of motherhood too intense, their needs too much. And so I do what I know, what I love: I write. In writing I capture the mood, the moment in a more effective way than my whirling thoughts and fuzzy memory could ever hope to. And so I find that even in my moments of despair, distraction and elation I was present. And in these vignettes of mothering life, and the images which accompany them, I have captured the whole process of motherhood which was at times almost unbearable in the actual living of it.

And so I have it here in all its preciousness to savour, and give thanks for, from the safe distance of time and the security of the written word. Yet, as I read back, I realise with great poignancy that these babies who I am capturing have grown, without me noticing, despite my almost daily writing about them. They are bigger and stronger, little rugged human beings out in the world. Little humans that I co-created, that I carried in my belly and fed from my breast. I feel like I need to pinch myself, it doesn’t seem real, or even possible. And yet it is. And that is the miracle of motherhood.

The most important thing about this motherhood lark is that we know that we are not alone. That we are not the only ones feeling these feelings and living these experiences. Surround yourself with like-minded allies to laugh and cry with, to confide in and gratefully accept support from.

I look forward to sharing my journey with you and hope that it might give you insight and support in your own.
Lucy Pearce

From the back cover...

"Moods of Motherhood traces the life of a mother: her tenderness, joy, anger, love, frustration, grief and gratitude. Compiled from posts written for her popular blog, Dreaming Aloud, her best-loved columns from JUNO magazine and many new pieces. This is a book full of Lucy Pearce's trademark searing honesty and raw emotions. It will make you laugh and cry - wherever on your mothering journey you may be. Though the story is hers, it could be yours."
*(Discount valid to midnight (GMT), this Sunday, 4th November, use valid to one product per customer).

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Down to the Bare Bones - Cutting (the fat of) Child Benefit

Let us take care of our children, for they have a long way to go.
Let us take care of our elders, for they have come a long way. 
Let us take care of those of us in between, for we are doing the work.
(Traditional Blessing)


This is my hope: in a culture of austerity may we not have a poverty of vision.

May we hold our values above our economics.

May we respect each stage in the journey of life as having value and dignity, and offer the support it needs, rather than resent each penny that is required.

May we not turn against each other in trying to find solutions.

Let us stop for a minute and look beyond the numbers, to the ambitions and basic needs of every family. Let us nurture the creation of healthy families, support their aspirations, regardless of their parental financial situation. Let us give every child, the same basic funding so that we know their basic needs can and will be provided, come what may. Let us value the next generation financially. Let us value the parents who care for them.

A hopelessly idealistic plea, you might think. But one for which I make no apologies, nor take any credit.

This is the vision of Child Benefit.  A Universal financial payment which has been supporting families for decades. (for a great explanation of what Child Benefit is and what's happening to it, see yesterday's post in our BlogMarch.)

And yet at exactly the time we need Child Benefit like never before, we are being chastened for being greedy and unrealistic in valuing what we have. What (in a good economy)  was thought of as a vital support for parents and children is now seen as a luxury (in a flat-lining economy), and one to which the rich are not entitled .... so nor should the poor or the squeezed middle be. We soon will have to prove that we deserve it, that we are poor enough, and jump through the hoops of the already creaking Family Income Supplement system to get less than what we already have...

How fair is that?

I am not going to give you a sob story about the choices we as a family make or the details of our personal finances. They are truly not your problem. Because I do not expect you, or the State, to take financial responsibility for me and my children.

Just like I do not expect to have to pay to bail out the banks. Or repay bond holders. But I have. And my cost of living has shot through the roof, as our means have declined. But market forces only work one way, it seems.


I want to live in a society which values - financially and morally - the needs and contributions of each sector of society from youngest to oldest - at their time of need. 

I thought I did. But I was wrong. 




I understand something: money is all that matters right now. The money for the party (of which my generation and my children's were not part of) has to come from somewhere. The bill has to be paid.

But why from those of us who are under the most pressure? Who are working to build our careers, care for small children and pay off mortgages?These children are our country's future and we the current economic powerhouse. We do not feel very powerful.

On Monday, the IMF admitted it completely underestimated the effects of austerity on the Irish economy. A new report showed that for every €100 of cuts, a knock-on €50 loss to the economy had been expected - through loss of employment and reduced spending.The reality was two-three times this.  

Let us not keep making these mistakes. Let us learn from the evidence.



The argument goes that Child Benefit is a luxury. Or that it funds luxuries. In a tough economy we need to learn to "man up" and realise that life is hard, which means cutting back the fat. Child Benefit is fat. Some are even suggesting that children are luxuries (I thought in Catholic Ireland they were supposed to be blessings from God, but what would I know?).

I see Child Benefit like this: if you benefit the family, you benefit the child, and you invest in the future. Cut the investment, limit the potential, pay later for the consequences... 

But we are so worried about now. About what if we can't pay the Troika, that we forget our future. We forget the value of our children and the families that are nurturing the future.


Children are one third of our population and all of our future.  
~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981



Meanwhile my children are aware that almost every time they ask for something the answer is always "sorry, no love, we just can't afford it right now." And so we focus on the luxuries that we can give them, the ones that money can't buy, and squash them into their shoes for a bit longer. And pray that no one gets sick in a way our skeletal medical insurance can't cover.

We are down to the bare bones. Our family. Our country. Where do we go now?

In the end it is down to numbers on a computer. Not lives or values
. Just economic survival. 

And computer says no. 

So the numbers must be made smaller. What these numbers represent does not matter so much. The impact on lives, the hardship, the anxiety, the loss of opportunity...


Well computer, you know what? 


We say NO too.





10 Irish parenting bloggers have joined forces in a “BlogMarch” to raise awareness of the crippling impact that cuts to child benefit will have on Irish families if introduced in December’s budget. The bloggers are publishing a blog post each over ten days to highlight the negative impact that child benefit cuts will have, as well as spearheading a nationwide media campaign. 

To find out more about the campaign, see my post here


You can join us on the new Irish Parenting Blogs Facebook page here

And on Twitter with the hash-tag #blogmarch 
You can contact Joan Burton, minister in charge of child benefit: joan.burton@oireachtas.ie
You can find the email addresses of all current TD’s and Senators here
You can sign the petition against Child Benefit Cuts here
There is a march organised against cuts to Child Benefit planned for November 3rd in Dublin. Starting at Parnell Square, D1 at 12 noon here
Read the other Blog March posts
The post that inspired me to start this whole campaign off: Ciara @Ouch My Fanny Hurts: Where her mother says we all need to speak up 
Day 1: 'Child Benefit Stole My Child's Allowance' at  
The Irish Rhymes
Day 2  (Tuesday 9th):          The Clothesline Blog    
'Stuck In The Middle- No To Child Benefit Cuts' 
http://theclotheslineie.wordpress.com

Day 3  (Wednesday 10th):   Mind The Baby  
Leave Child Benefit Alone, Tax Maternity Benefit Instead          
http://mindthebaby.wordpress.com/

Day 4  (Thursday 11th):       Dreaming Aloud    
Down to the Bare Bones - Cutting (the fat out of) Child Benefit       
http://www.dreamingaloud.net/

Day 5  (Friday 12th):          The Daily Muttering        
http://thedailymuttering.blogspot.ie/

Day 6  (Saturday 13th):       Kate Takes 5                
http://katetakes5.blogspot.ie/

Day 7  (Sunday 14th):         Wholesome Ireland      
http://wholesomeireland.com/

Day 8  (Monday 15th):        Ouch My Fanny Hurts 
http://ouchmyfannyhurts.wordpress.com/

Day 9  (Tuesday 16th):        Wonderful Wagon      
http://www.wonderfulwagon.com/

Day 10 (Wednesday 17th):  Mama.ie                   
http://mama.ie/





Tuesday, October 9, 2012

BlogMarch against Child Benefit Cuts

We are on day 2 of the BlogMarch of 10 members of the Irish Parenting Bloggers group. A plan I dreamed up on the toilet last Friday morning and shared on the Irish Parenting Bloggers Facebook page. Over the next 48 hours magic happened through the incredible enthusiasm and hard work of all these incredible women involved - women who have full time work and parenting responsibilities - we now have a nationwide blog, media and social media campaign to make parents' voices heard on proposed changes in our economy.

To bring you up to speed on the issue:
Last week in anticipation of our (fifth) austerity budget, an Irish advisory group to Social Protection Minister, Joan Burton, recommended cuts to Child Benefit, a Universal social payment received by all Irish families. 
They propose cutting the rate from €140 to €100 per child and putting a system in place where by low-income families can apply for a top up (via the Family Income Supplement system (FIS) - which is currently running 9 month waiting lists.)
On the same day this happened, our government, paid €1 Billion to unsecured bondholders of AIB bank.
This was the last straw. For me. And thousands of parents around Ireland. It was the line in the sand that had been crossed. Something has to be said. Something needs to be done. Enough is enough. I will be blogging about our own personal experiences on Thursday. But before then you can see what the other bloggers involved have to say on the matter. (See below for the BlogMarch schedule and all the ways that you can get involved.)



The Irish Parenting Bloggers are great writers and each post on the BlogMarch is the blogger's own view. Enjoy! 

Read the other Blog March posts
The post that inspired me to start this whole campaign off: Ciara @Ouch My Fanny Hurts: Where her mother says we all need to speak up 
Day 1: 'Child Benefit Stole My Child's Allowance' at  
The Irish Rhymes
Day 2  (Tuesday 9th):          The Clothesline Blog    
'Stuck In The Middle- No To Child Benefit Cuts' 
http://theclotheslineie.wordpress.com

Day 3  (Wednesday 10th):   Mind The Baby  
Leave Child Benefit Alone, Tax Maternity Benefit Instead          
http://mindthebaby.wordpress.com/

Day 4  (Thursday 11th):       Dreaming Aloud    
Down to the Bare Bones - Cutting (the fat out of) Child Benefit       
http://www.dreamingaloud.net/

Day 5  (Friday 12th):          The Daily Muttering        
http://thedailymuttering.blogspot.ie/

Day 6  (Saturday 13th):       Kate Takes 5                
http://katetakes5.blogspot.ie/

Day 7  (Sunday 14th):         Wholesome Ireland      
http://wholesomeireland.com/

Day 8  (Monday 15th):        Ouch My Fanny Hurts 
http://ouchmyfannyhurts.wordpress.com/

Day 9  (Tuesday 16th):        Wonderful Wagon      
http://www.wonderfulwagon.com/

Day 10 (Wednesday 17th):  Mama.ie                   
http://mama.ie/



  • You can sign the online petition here.
  • You can tweet at #BlogMarch.
  • You can contact Joan Burton at joan.burton@oireachtas.ie
  • You can find the email addresses of all current TD’s and Senators here
  • You can sign the petition against Child Benefit Cuts here
  • There is a march organised against cuts to Child Benefit planned for November 3rd in Dublin. Starting at Parnell Square, D1 at 12 noon - see here
  • You can join us on the new Irish Parenting Blogs Facebook page here
  • You can read, think, discuss anywhere


Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Dog's Vagina

Have you ever been hugged in your inbox?

I know, it sounds a bit dodgy. But it's wonderful.

You go to your inbox, expecting the usual deluge of penile enhancement...

(ASIDE) "Yo, mo-fo! I have a VAGINA! Get that, I don't need no enhancement. I have a dedicated pleasure organ all of my very own."

(I'm practicing vaginal liberation at the moment - well not ACTUAL liberation, cos I'd get arrested for that - but actually, you know, SAYING the word, out loud, so my heart doesn't race and I don't feel like puking in my bag and fainting, just because I named a body part. Seriously, my hands are shaking. VAGINA - ha! Take that!! Have you ever tried painting one. No, not your own - we're not talking vajazzles - we're talking actually taking a paint brush or a pen and doodling one - in a private note book - heart pounding at the thought? It's insane. I'm doodling a VAGINA a day to overcome the fear. Pink. Beautiful. Truly, nothing to be afraid of. Because seriously, teenage boys draw willies everywhere - on school desks, park benches, toilet doors and even on our village name sign - they OWN their magic wands. But us, we just cross our legs and keep up the pretense that there's nothing down there.)

So anyway, back to inboxes (getting my double-entendre there? Are ya? Are ya?)

You know when you go to your inbox - expecting the usual junk mail, Pay Pal receipts, round robin circulars and you wonder why you bother to check it anymore. And then, just as you're about to slash and burn your emails, you spot one from an unfamiliar name. And rather than trying to extort $10 million from you, they're saying wonderful, kind, appreciative loving things. Or perhaps it's your mum. Or your friend. Or an ex student (thank you Simon - see below!) And you go all warm and tingly and you think - ah! Lovely.

"Most impressed with 'Dreaming Aloud', I love both the concept and the design: it reaches out, gently takes you in for a hug and whispers in your ear! Ten out of Ten!"

Now, Simon would die if he read this (believe me, I know him, he would!), but this description of Dreaming Aloud is a bit like VAGINAs. According to Naomi Wolf's new book: VAGINA: a new biography,  VAGINAs do actually pull a man in to them when they are aroused and ready. Actively wanting to embrace their partner. 

So can I set you a challenge - go hug someone in their inbox right now. (Take that which ever way you want!) Go tell them how special they are. How much you appreciate their work. That you love them. That they, in your eyes, are the dog's VAGINA. (You see we don't even have a positive phrase with them in - so now it's coined!)

Because a woman, when she feels loved and appreciated, physically opens. Say a kind word and the VAGINA smiles. Her heart opens. The world is a better place. And all because of you.

And while you're at it, use the word VAGINA once today - with glowing eyes, knowing that truly there's nothing to be ashamed at and lots to love. (Go on, men folk, send your woman an email ode to her VAGINA - she will frame it in her heart for ever, and she will, no doubt, hug you with it later!)

For the record, this post was supposed to be about nice emails. But turned into a VAGINA liberation post - just in time for my appearance on the radio this evening!!!! Oh and the blogging course on Saturday - ah! wonderful!) I am the crazy VAGINA woman!

(How many times did I mention it? You don't think anybody noticed do you?!)

Friday, July 27, 2012

Who is reading this? and why?!!

Dreaming Aloud feels like it is in transition. I am not quite sure the shape it is taking.

It started out as a blog on living philosophy, attached to my Juno column of the same name. When I started it I didn't really 'get' blogging. I thought it was an online diary, which I didn't really feel inspired to try. So instead I decided to use it as a place to park everything that I was writing, rather than on my hard disk.

I was a stay at home mama to three, writing the occasional feature and editing Juno. I felt trapped. I could only glimpse what I wanted.

Through the life time of this blog many things have changed. I now have a book, have started painting and am more drawn to the visual and women's mysteries. I spend less time mothering, thank goodness, I am not a natural mother, and am not trapped. I feel like I have built up a following of people who like and expect my blogging emotive posts on mothering, but I have moved on. To that end I am also going to give up one of my long time writing jobs which no longer resonates with where I am at.

I rarely sit and pour my heart out in writing now like a dam about to burst. Painting is my outlet and writing my work. My writing commitments to so many other projects mean that this blog is often on my to-do list. I feel there are expectations, from me and you.

In its time I have done series on books, on money, I have reviewed restaurants, shared art and poetry, shared our life as a family, written about birth and community...

I aim to inspire, to share, to add beauty and to keep it real...

What is the uniting factor? What IS Dreaming Aloud?

Dear reader, why do you come back to Dreaming Aloud? What do you get from it? Who is reading and why?

Friday, June 1, 2012

Summer is here! Let's celebrate!

Today is June 1st, and the official start of summer - (Hello sun! Please stay!!!!!) and with it comes lots of creative beauty - the world is in full bloom, and, so it seems am I.

June is my birthday month and I am planning something exciting for the Happy Womb for my birthday on 20th June - so join the Facebook page if you haven't already http://www.facebook.com/thehappywomb and keep your eyes open!
I am getting prepared for my exhibition - baby steps, no date set yet, but I have made some important decisions - more of which another time...

We have had a few days of heatwave, and so I have been baking for afternoon picnics in the dappled shade...
Click for recipe!
I have gone Pinterest mad - and am pinning summer cocktails and strawberries galore - check out my boards here 

Other exciting news - Rhythm of the Home the quarterly ezine of divine craft, spirit and gentle parenting is out today and I have a piece in it on creating the magic of fairies with your children



And the summer issue of Juno magazine is out today as well, packed with joy and goodies, including my interview with Ina May Gaskin... Do head over to the Juno website for a chance to win a copy of my Moon Time book 

What creative beauty are YOU celebrating today?

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