To school or not to school?

My son turned five this summer, and so the need to act on the issue of schooling is now upon us. Not that I had been avoiding the issue. Far from it. 

From the moment he was born, in fact, since before I was ever pregnant, my project was to find a gentle, loving and progressive way of allowing him to develop and unfold. I have shared this dream with many others who unwittingly cross my evangelical path, filled notebooks with plans, scoured the internet for resources and filled bookshelves with a wide range of guerilla education ideas. Steiner, free schools, home ed, alternatives of every colour and creed have been considered. I have helped establish a playgroup, visited home ed meetings, we went to the Steiner school parent's evening when he was just three weeks old. We even threw ourselves into helping to establish a local Educate Together primary school in our nearest town, Midleton. 

And yet here we find ourselves about to take our child to the gates of the local village school, a state  Catholic school to boot. We are, I feel abandoning him to the 'system'. There is just nothing like the alternative small schools of America here, nor the interest to support one. Though I was delighted to see today that the local home schooling community also dream this dream, but the result of their dream is visioned to be in Cork City 45 minutes from here. 

Whilst I have a strong desire to home school, I also have my reservations and anyway, it does not fit with my reality as the mum of three kids under five, who strongly desires to be involved in her own projects, especially editing and writing for Juno, and also desires to retain a little sanity. For me a possible middle ground is flexi schooling, but not unfortunately a possibility on this rather conservative minded island on which I live.

What I want to do seems so natural to me, so right. But I don't want to do it alone. I don't want it to be a choice between my children's or my own best interests. Both my husband and I dream of commmunity education, where we live and share education of our children with our community, allowing us both to be deeply involved in their education, rather than asking a school's permission to educate our own children, and at the same time being able to follow our our work paths and dreams, rather than choose one over the other.

So for us, our "next best thing" as Pam England calls it, is a little village school, a hundred yards down the road from us, with chickens, a herb garden and a hedgehog heap, a caring head teacher. Through it we are rooted in our local community.  Not our "community as we would wish it to be full of lots of alternative thinking types", but our community as it is which we inhabit. Though Timmy is fourth generation Pearce in this village, we are still blow-ins! I speak no Irish and hardly know one end of a hurley from another, I have never labeled a uniform or covered a copy book, so for me this is a journey to a foreign land, in the land of my birth. A journey I was not even planning to take. A bit like parenthood I guess!

It feels right for me, that although he is out of my grasp, it is only just: my Madonna's cloak (in Steiner parlance) does not have to open too wide to let him go, as his school is so close. I feel if Armageddon came down to Shanagarry one Tuesday afternoon, he is close enough for this mother hen to swoop in and tuck him under her wing again, under the safe mantle of this multi-coloured Madonna's cloak, and away we go!

So whilst he will go to school come tomorrow, with much trepidation, tears and misgivings on my behalf, I keep reassuring myself that it is not a final decision. We can and no doubt will choose and choose again, whilst we strive to make our vision of inclusive, creative, alternative community education a reality here in East Cork.

OUR COMMUNITY SOCIAL GROUP IS BORN

Today I made a snap decision. And I rather like it. It has been ages since I have organised anything. And so, me being me,  went from "why not see if anyone else wants to try bellydancing?", to setting up a women's community activity group on Facebook: "Do what you can..." And in the flash of a few keys, by a very tired mama, a new dream is born... Not a bricks and mortar learning centre, but an online network. Very twenty-first century! And also much easier than finding a permanent, dedicated space and worry about making it pay. Why, oh why, didn't I think of this before? 

We already have a women's group here, a member's only group which meets once a month for self-reflection and support. I started it over two years ago and it plays a key part in all nine members' lives, creating a web of support through good times and bad. (See my Dreaming Aloud column: Welcome to the Circle on the articles page). But many of the women were voicing a need for a social network too. We regularly meet with each other outside of womens' group meeting and have other friendships outside of the group too. We wanted to have a way of organising bigger things as/ for a group: forest school activities, clothes swaps, drumming and patchwork to name but a few. We have experimented with doing social stuff as part of women's group, but it doesn't really work, diluting the "serious" nature of the group's aim. We also want to reach beyond the necessary confines of our group. We have experimented with making the group larger, which almost led to its destruction. So this is a case of NOT killing two birds with one stone, but having two distinct groups for two distinct purposes.

It is funny how ideas just seem to emerge as obvious, having been elusive, inconceivable for months or even years! 

So...

"I hereby declare the establishment of the East Cork Women's Social Network for Advanced Learning and Cultural Pursuits! (Intentionally named in a Borat way)(Which will at times welcome men and children.) Current activities: Bellydancing, Steiner Crafts, Clothes Swap and an Avon Evening

Organise an event, a class, a party in the East Cork area and spread the word here. Have you discovered something you want to shout out about? Consider this the electronic bulletin board for the East Cork campus of the University of Life. Let everyone know what's on, here...

You might want to:
find jogging mates,
squash partners,
yoga mates,
people to swap childcare,
start a book club,
a film club,
diet together,
do an evening class together,
spread the word about a great cafe,
or an interesting sounding concert,
organise a coffee morning,
a clothes swap,
a magazine swap,
learn Irish together,
make a patchwork together...

Make friends, share skills and spread the word. Let's make East Cork buzz with friendship, fun and creativity."

http://www.facebook.com/tsic.php?topic=17&uid=109334115789846#!/group.php?gid=109334115789846&ref=mf ' op

Breastfeeding myths busted

Breastfeeding myths - busted - 1000 word article, published in Modern Mum

The hospital, your doctor, everyone will tell you when you're pregnant: breast is best. However, because breastfeeding has been a dying art for so long in our culture, many of the common myths which surround it can act as stumbling blocks to new mums starting out feeding. These myths might come from well-meaning friends or family, or even uninformed medical professionals who only have professional experience of bottle-fed babies.

As a mum of three breastfed babies I want to shed some light on the most common breastfeeding myths. I encourage you to read further, find additional support, from family, friends and experienced breastfeeding mothers as well as sympathetic medical professionals so you can make informed decisions.

Always gauge someone's feelings about breastfeeding before taking their advice about it. If their advice is to stop feeding to solve a problem, look elsewhere. Seek out alternatives, they are almost always there. Breastfeeding is nature's way of providing vital nutrition, hydration and comfort to a baby and is a once in a lifetime opportunity, which our culture is often all too eager to sever in a panic as a one-size-fits all solution.

• My baby's not getting enough from me, so I need to supplement with formula.

Be very, very careful before you decide to supplement your baby with anything other than your breast-milk. Breastfeeding works on a supply and demand basis. You baby's sucking, even if it feels as if they're getting nothing, will stimulate increased milk supply for future days, supplementing your baby with formula will fool your body into thinking your baby is getting enough.

• Supplementing with formula will make my baby sleep through the night

In addition to issues to do with supplementing with formula above, all babies sleep differently, and their sleeping habits change according to their age. There is a real pressure on new mums to have their babies sleeping through the night from day one. The reality is that a larger number of breastfed babies do tend to wake more frequently in the night than their bottle-fed counterparts. This may be partly due to the fact that they get slightly less in each feeding and so need more frequent feedings, but it is also to do with breast-milk being quicker and easier for their immature systems to digest. Furthermore, breastfed babies often want and need to snuggle up with mum for comfort in the night as well as during the day. If night wakings are bothering you, consider having your baby in the bed with you. Do read up on how to do this safely. Co-sleeping is practised by breastfeeding mothers around the world and means maximum sleep for all parties.

• Small boobs mean I won't have enough milk for my baby

The amount of milk you produce has little to do with the size of your breast, which actually consists of mainly fatty tissue. Try and see before jumping to conclusions based on your cup size.

• If I'm ill I should stop feeding my baby so they don't get sick

By the time you have come down with the symptoms of a bug, your baby has already been exposed to it. Your body will create antibodies and pass them onto your baby through your milk, thereby giving him added immunity. If you need to take medication, tell your doctor you are breastfeeding so that they can find something which will be safe for your baby. There are always a number of alternative medications for any condition, so be sure to insist that they investigate these alternatives.

• Feeding a baby with teeth will hurt!

Some do, some don't. Usually it is only a little nip of experimentation with their newly discovered sensation of teeth in gums. As they get older they may do it for a response - making mum squeal can be mighty entertaining for a toddler. But feeding a child with teeth does not hurt - once they are not biting!

• Milk turns bad when you're pregnant, so you have to stop.

This myth seems to exist in most cultures around the world. What is true is that your milk supply may well begin to dwindle from very early on in the pregnancy and may change in composition and flavour due to your different balance of hormones. You may also find breastfeeding uncomfortable as your nipples become more sensitive. But your child will not have any ill effects from these changes.

• I can't get pregnant if I'm breastfeeding

Wrong! If you are breastfeeding regularly throughout the day, and at least once a night, and your baby is receiving no other nutrition from anywhere, and is under six months and your periods have not returned, then breastfeeding is a pretty reliable contraceptive. But if any one or more of these is not true for you, you may easily get pregnant. Do not rely on breastfeeding alone as a contraceptive.

• Breastfeeding hurts – right?

Some women find the first few days, or even weeks tender or even painful as their nipples adjust, but many do not have a moment's discomfort. Be sure to get someone experienced to help you in the first few days and to check the baby is latched on properly if it is hurting. When your milk first comes in your boobs may rival Pamela Anderson's. Cool cabbage leaves tucked in your bra (yes, I know it sounds mad!) is wonderfully cooling. This engorgement only lasts about a day.

Any sharp stabbing or stinging pains or aches in the breast tissue may point to a blocked duct which can, if not promptly treated lead to mastitis, a breast infection. Keep feeding on the affected side, or if it is too tender, then hand express in a warm shower, but do not let the breast get over-full. Rest and keep hydrated. Seek medical advice if it continues for more than a day.

• My mum/ sister didn't have enough milk to breastfeed, so I won't be able to either.

Many women abandon feeding in the first couple of days when the baby is only getting tiny amounts of colostrum, before the milk comes in properly on the third day, because they think the baby is not getting enough. Many women have received inadequate information, support and advice when starting out feeing and so felt that they couldn't. Breastfeeding is an art which both mother and baby need to learn. For some it may come easily and naturally, but for others it is a process of mutual learning and adjustment. If at first you don't succeed...

Starting out

After a couple of years of resisting a blog, I am diving head first in. This is mainly because getting round to writing for publication is seeming a more distant reality by the day. So rather than park my musings all alone on my computer, I shall park them here instead. I have been inspired by the wonderful Julie and Julia... So I'm waiting for parcels of fine food through the post! Or books. Lots and lots of books.

This is a virtual space for dreaming aloud, whatever form it might take...a place for the seed of an idea to fall from my mind and take root. A kernel which maybe, just maybe might grow into a full grown article or even a book one day...But for today, it is here: a thought, a vision, a dream, a wondering, a wish, a rant, perhaps lots of rants, a possibility, a flower in the desert...come join me as we dream aloud together, dream a healthier, happier, bigger, bolder more vital and vibrant version of family life, education, birth, health and humanity than we currently live. Let us share our visions, let our songs mingle into a beautiful melody together...Let us dream...