Dreaming aloud

I am brave!

2012-03-01T12:12:00.001Z

I am brave.

These past weeksand months, this has been my mantra.

Though a lot of the time I really don’t feel it. I keep on doingit.

Enough of fearbeing my best friend. My comfort zone is now a far distant land, somewhere nearKazhakstan.

What scares me? Putting myself out there to be criticised. Makingcontact. Risking rejection. Making new friends. Asking for money. Talking aboutwomen’s things. Conflict. Writing. Painting. Not knowing if we’re going to haveenough money to get through the year. Calling myself a writer/ creative.

Just little things. Exceptthey’re as big as the Himalayas! To others they may seem little things. But they are my peaks ofcourage, my initiations.

So here I am, with sword inhand, courage in heart, swiping though the brambles of fear…

In Flora Bowley’s wonderful Bloom True painting course that I amdoing this week the topic is BRAVE! She says that you have to be prepared to get out of your comfort zone to get to theplace where magic can happen. So true. I am loving painting again, but ohgoddess did it take courage to get started.

My book: MoonTime: a guide to celebrating your menstrual cycle is officially OUT.This is brave on so many levels – brave topic, brave personal writing, braveself publishing, brave first book, and then having to be brave, write PR andask people to buy it!

It’s on Amazon.comand .co.uk (though please don't buy from the UK site as I am not getting apenny from it), from the Book Depository, Moon Times and soon from SusunWeed’s Wise Woman Book store. This required more courage than you could imagine.

So I’ll be brave, and ask you, dearreader, take a chance on my little book, it might just change your life. It’llcertainly put you back in contact with your cycle and creativity and otherwomen.

Please do buy from me atThe Happy Womb! I would be delighted to sign a copy for you and write a personal dedication.

Please accept this discountas a little thank you for being a devoted reader DAMTB and to entice you tobuy it from me in the place that best supports me and my family’s finances.

This week I feel just how brave we are being taking a financialchance on my creativity as the bills mount, and the money is yet to come in.

A book I had ordered weeks ago: The Courage to Teach by ParkerPalmer arrived yesterday. Getting back into teaching, teaching my stuff,woman-craft, from the heart is taking massive courage. My dear soul sisterTracy and I will be teaching our first workshop on April 15^th inCork City. The topic: touching your power, but of course!

Today I am sending off emails to big names – Ina May Gaskin’sinterview questions (to appear in The Irish Examiner and JUNO), Lynn Andrews toget permission to quote for the next book. Scary, scary - shaky hands and butterflies in my stomach!

And so synchronicity of course, Goddess Leonie’s latest blog postpopped into my inbox today – all about courage – what a truly inspiring, andbrave woman she is! Do take a moment to check it out

How are you being brave in your life? Do you really own your courage? Where are you right now inrelation to your comfort zone? Feel the fear… and do it anyway!

Emerging women

2012-02-27T22:40:00.001Z

Creative rainbow mama nearing completion...and I am getting back into gear to write her book.

So many women have done my Crazy Woman creative exercises - and I never had - so this is her! If you haven't heard the talk I did on the World's Biggest Summit last year about Honouring your Crazy Woman you can find it over on The Happy Womb

Private view

2012-02-26T12:17:00.004Z

Been busy painting...all still in process but nearing completion...

creative rainbow mama emerging

Cherry blossom moon

Crazy woman emerging

peacock feathers

PR- o crastination

2012-02-24T10:32:00.001Z

I am in avoidance. I HATE promoting my stuff. Yet needs must when you publish your own work.

Writing PR does not come naturally to me. You try and be all bright and breezy and it turns out sounding fake, chummy and desperate. How do you sell your own creations? How to put a fair price on them? Know the value of them? When I can see its flaws and not its glory - I know every word in it, I have read it a hundred times over, and know every fact. How to see its freshness and gifts? How to know how it might honestly be received... and who might really need it?

So what I really want to write is this...

Look - I don't know if this book is good or not - what I do know is I have given it every ounce of my energy, a lot of research, an open heart, an honest sharing of my journey and a lot of really helpful resources to follow up.

And it might be just what you're looking for - it could, in the words of one, very sweet reviewer - change your life. I sincerely hope so.

But really I'm terrified that you'll hate it, that you'll find the lurking mistakes that I overlooked, the fragments of sentences that Microsoft Word sneered at, facts that are disputable... and then you'll judge me harshly, sneer at me, hate me, call a fatwa...

Here, for you, stranger, is my heart on a plate - please buy it and pay me fairly - know that I do not want to take money from you - that I hate to deal with money, to ask for it - but I must pay for the privilege of two days a week creative time, which I have promised to use to support my family. I have taken a risk and followed my heart, my deepest dream - to write a book - rather than to write safe articles which will sell to mainstream media, or do copy writing jobs that numb my brain to pay the bills. I want to offer you more and more money off, to know just the way to entice you to buy it... but in the end I play in a marketplace where prices are already decided - and the post service will probably make more from each copy than I will.

But this is PR - I cannot say any of this, anything really real. So I have to pretend that none of this is true. I have to pretend that it is the book you have most wanted in your entire life, that it is perfect, desirable - and find just the right words to make you buy it/ review it/ stock it.

What I dearly hope it that you will hold it close, that it will open parts of your mind to your body and soul that you never really understood. That it will become a treasured tome that you will be glad to have as a companion on your journey.

But what do I know? I am just a writer mama - though at times like this I wonder why? What was so bad about being JUST a mama?

I love...

2012-02-23T11:08:00.000Z

I love...peacocks, writing, the tea house, homemade cake, caramel, baby curls, circles, painting with my fingers, turquoise, Nina Simone, islands, the sea, white doves in flight, cherry trees in blossom, dark chocolate with orange, kissing squidgy flesh, fragrant roses, hot baths, conkers, circuses, stirring bubbling saucepans, herb gardens, wild windy days, rockpooling, picnics, the moon, weeping willows, punting down the Cam, cookery programmes, holding hands, fresh herb tea, melted cheese, being in flow, poetry, goddess soul sisters, blue against orange, red against magenta, walking round gardens, the British museum.

Flora Bowley

I am inspired by... artists, the sea, wide open spaces, churches and temples, a capella singing, vibrant colour, gorgeous photographs, Thailand and Japan.

Izumi Omori - from Slippery Jacks

I collect... sea shells, pine cones, round stones, sea glass, conkers, seasonal flowers, autumn leaves, art and craft materials, empty seed packets, cookery books... OK most books!, colourful necklaces, scarves, plants for my garden, pens, spirals, circles, blue pottery, oriental images with gold embossing, bright skirts

Do check out more of what I love on Pinterest!
http://pinterest.com/dreamingaloudnt/

Do share yours!

When it all goes right

2012-02-21T16:22:00.001Z

This past few days has been so extraordinarily wonderful, that I feel called to do a mid week, exteneded joy pockets, to give up my gratitude to the universe.

But first, a disclaimer. What I am about to say, as far as the gods of retribution and cosmic playfulness are concerned, is not true. None of it. Ye gods who snigger into your beards as you hear mere mortals confidently tell their friends that their child is sleeping through the night/ not tantruming any more... or in my case... weaned!

Yes, (I'll whisper very quietly). I think we're done. After 8 months of on again off again wanting to be finished breastfeeding. My lactational career has come to a close. We are both as ready as we can be. And it's been reasonably fine.(AWFUL, HIDEOUS - ye gods - do you hear me ?!)

So on Saturday night, when the older kiddies were having a sleep over at the grandparents, I got my first full night's sleep in months. Oh my goodness I felt human the next morning! And could see why people enjoy parenting!! (WHEN WILL THIS CHILD SLEEP OH GODS?!)

The doors seem to be opening for my little book. In so many places - places to sell it and big people who are willing to share it with their people, and magazines willing to review. I am amazed/ humbled/ grateful... BUT WILL IT SELL?

This morning I was gifted, by some dear friends, with a place on a one day food writing course with Hugo Arnold, at the Ballymaloe Cookery School - home to Darina Allen and Rachel Allen (just next door to the Pink House). It's this Saturday - if anyone out there harbours a secret dream to be the next Nigella - as I do - why not join me - I know there's a couple more places available.

It have been out in the garden, planting up our bank with nasturtiums, strawberries, monbretia, fuschia and elder. Surrounded by bobbing tiny tom daffodils, peeping primroses and dainty wood anemones.

And of course painting. Did I tell you quite how much I love painting?

But shh! Don't tell the gods. It's our little secret!

What I was doing, when I should have been doing something else!

2012-02-17T11:00:00.000Z

Two days ago I should have been tidying our pit - sorry, house - before the cleaner came,so she could find a surface to clean... but instead I did this!

Yesterday I should have been doing PR for the book...but instead I did this!

Every spare moment - you will find me painting.

I drag the girls along, they play the drums, chase each other round the tea house, wash my brushes... so I can do this...

What should you have been doing this week? And what did you do instead?

Mama Bashing

2012-02-14T07:52:00.002Z

Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.
***

One of the things I find hardest on-line is the levels ofjudgement and competitive mama-ing I have witnessed: in forums, on blogs...

I call it mama-bashing.

I was gobsmacked the first time I witnessed it. It was likea forest fire. Women around the UK were obviously sat glued to the ensuingbattle, their comments flying in thick and fast. Feverish anger, name calling,finger pointing, reputation smearing, judgements left, right and centre.

Mama-bashing… the online equivalent to stoning.

I felt sick and shaken.

And do every time since that I have witnessed it.

I have seen it just as often in the natural parentingblogosphere as the mainstream. And it cuts me to the core.

I have never been much good in conflict situations.

Mama-bashing is likea playground fight. The sides gather, drawn by a controversial opinion – oftengenuine, sometimes trollish. If our children were involved in such viciousbehaviour, we would not find it acceptable.

But instead because smacking is right or wrong, orbreastfeeding needs to happen to this or that. Because sugar/ school/ doctorsare right… or wrong (given the forum any of the above can be true… or not!)

Differences it seems are not acceptable.

There is good… and bad. And woe betide the person who pokestheir head above the wrong parapet to speak their truth, to venture adifference of opinion, to challenge the status quo. Or even to state pointblank that they tried this… and it did not work. Or circumstances made thingsthis way for them.

Behind the scenes, in private Facebook groups, by textmessage and in person, there is baiting, bitching, shock, glee, tears, deephurt…

This is my least favourite bit of human beings. Especiallywomen folk. The anonymity of blogging brings out the worst of it.

And so, I take this opportunity to request an end tomama-bashing. An end to public humiliation, judgement and hurt. An end tostoning the bad woman. To ask that we see the vulnerable mother before theopinion. The woman muddling through under the cloak of certainty. To embracethe whole gamut of peoples’ personalities, experiences, situations andcultures. To abstain from supreme judgement, and an acceptance that we are all,deep down, doing the best we can. And those that are not… well that is betweenthem and social services, them and their god. Not us.

I try my utmost to ensure that it will not happen here. Inall my 17 months of blogging I have had only one slightly hurtful comment, thatI should go and get anti-depressants – though I know it was meant with care. Afriend had a similar comment on her blog, which was not voiced so carefully.

And so I am mindful with comments- both mine and others –that the comment usually say more about the commenter than the post.

Some people find expressing their emotions or deep truthshard, some find expressing themselves in writing hard – don’t we all really?Some are communicating in a second or third language, some will be having pasthurts or present guilts exercised by your words.

And, as we have discovered in our women’s group – thewritten word is not good for communicating tone - often hurts are no more thanmisunderstandings: humour or irony not interpreted.

And sowhilst I respect that others choose to use their experiences with parentingchoices to categorically inform others, this is not what I choose for my blog. The only thing I can know with absolute truth is my own experiences, my own ambiguous, ever shifting reality. This I speak as my truth - reclaiming my "I".

Becausein the end, I do not have certainty. I cannot know that my choices are betterthan yours. But I can share my journey and how I have come to my choices.

As with all aspects of free speech and contraversialopinion, I risk, by speaking my mind, to be judging the judgers. I hope themessage of peace in this post, is louder than the voice of war and that wemight further the wonder of this online project through mindful interactions.

In the words of AnneFrank: "We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are alldifferent and yet the same."

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)

How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment — At Natural Parents Network, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it's from your mom or the grocery store clerk.
Judgement is Natural - Just Don't Condemn — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.
Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.
When Other Parents Disagree With You — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka Witch Mom, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!
Mama Bashing — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.
Accentuate the Positive — Joella at Fine and Fair shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.
The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents — Tara from MUMmedia offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother's groups, etc.
Trying to build our village — Sheila at A Gift Universe tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.
Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how she handles heated topics in the "Mommy-space" online.
Parenting with Convictions — Sarah at Parenting God's Children encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.
How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles... — Jenny at I'm a Full-Time Mummy shares her two cents' worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.
Public Relations — Momma Jorje touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.
Navigating Parenting Politics — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at The Other Baby Book shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.
Hiding in my grace cave — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.
Carnival of Natural Parenting - Respectful Interactions with Other Parents — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings.
Empathy and respect — Helen at zen mummy tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.
Not Holier Than Thou — Amyables at Toddler in Tow muses about how she's learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.
Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.
Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.
Homeschooling: Why Not? — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.
If You Can’t Say Something Nice… — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.
Different Rules for Different Families — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.
Respectful Interaction With Other Parents — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own.
Parenting as a mirror — Rather than discrediting others' parenting styles, Kate Wicker discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.
The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her.
Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality — MudpieMama reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions.
Speaking Up For Those Who Can't — We've all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you're stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think "Gosh, I wish I said…" This post by Arpita at Up Down, And Natural is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought "Gosh, I wish I said…"
Thank you for your opinion — Gaby at Tmuffin shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.
Mending — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at Million Tiny Things is needed.
The Thing You Don't Know — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents.
3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.
Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana — How do you keep your cool? Ana from Pandamoly shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.
Kind Matters — Carrie at Love Notes Mama discusses how she strives to be the type of person she'd want to meet.
Doing it my way but respecting your highway. — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!
Saying "I'm Right and You're Wrong" Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.
Have another kid and you won't care — Cassie of There's a Pickle in My Life, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.
Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.
A Little Light Conversation — Zoie at TouchstoneZ explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.
Why I used to hide the formula box — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.
Assumptions — Nada at minimomist discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.
Respectfully Interacting with Others Online — Lani at Boobie Time Blog discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet.
Presumption of Good Will — Why — and how — Crunchy Con Mommy is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.
Being Gracious with Parenting Advice — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at My World Edenwild.
Explain, Smile, Escape — Don't know what to do when you're confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at Anktangle shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).
Balancing Cultures and Choices — Dulce de leche discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.
Linky - Parenting Peacefully with Social Media — Hannabert's Mom discusses parenting in a social media world.

Painting in flow

2012-02-09T10:59:00.001Z

I have been shaking in excited anticipation for weeks.

Losing my painting virginity again after such a long period of celibacy feels exciting, not so scary.
I know I am in good hands with Flora Bowley... when the student is ready...

And she is the teacher for me. Her paintings speak to my soul - her use of colour, her imagery, her approach.

Flora with her paintings - borrowed with gratitude from her website

http://florabowley.typepad.com

The first painting class she has us dripping liquid acrylics onto canvas and smearing with our fingers - no mind, just letting it flow.

How good this feels after my A-Level art training which removed any sensuality, and intuition from art. We had to plan and re-plan our art, until we were ready to commit the perfect finished work to canvas, by which time it had lost any spark, any life, its dynamism and freshness. We all fought this, perhaps me most strongly, but we had to show lots of preparatory material - that was the place for experimentation, not the finished piece - experimentation was for private, and ironically for the examiner - not for the wall and the viewer.

It was a bit like making love by numbers.

But here I am now. The music which I prepared for births with, flowing around me - flutes and whale song, swooping female voices singing out of the depths, de profundis. This is where all art comes from - words, paintings, music...

All my paints are lined up, pristine and inviting, with names to make you moist with anticipation - irridescent gold, shimmering copper, quinacridone maroon, phthalo blue, vermilion...

And so as my blood flows, my cycle has shifted to its intuitive stage, the painting starts - brave, intuitive, sensual painting - no sketches in sight, just me, the music, the paint and the canvas. The sensuous feel of paint between my fingers. The vivid colours dancing together as they conquer the white space. Swirling, joyous, dripping, flowing with the music. Flowing with the life force within me.

Why has it been so long? So long to break through myself, my blocks, my fears, my limitations, to reach the colour, the flow, the expression I have yearned for? I could cry this feels so good!

Full moon rising

2012-02-06T13:50:00.003Z

February 7th is this month's full moon. And I am looking forward to consciously celebrating. Tomorrow I will be taking part in Miranda Gray's Womb Blessing which I am looking forward to. And I will be heading outside and absorbing her glowing, positive, renewing, sustaining light.

Last month I was so deluged under bad nights' sleep, editing Moon Time and miserable winter weather that I didn't get out in the moonlight, the first time in many moons. And so perhaps for that reason alone, or all of them conbined, my cycle has realigned itself, mother moon having a gentle joke at my expense about my very limited human understanding, and the irony that I have just written an "authoritative" book on her unknowable mystery. So here I am, with my greater knowledge and awareness than ever before, with my beautiful moon dial mandala having just arrived (these will be available from the Happy Womb very soon), and for the first time since my cycles returned, not knowing where in my cycle I am!

Moon Dial Mandala - Created by Zoe Shekinah
http://www.earthlightcollective.com/silver.htm

But that is a true reflection of my state of creativity right now. I did a lot of extra work on Moon Time, so now I am in the situation of awaiting a proof once more, holding off on promoting it till I have a release date. Wating, still waiting to hear back from publishers on the Creative Rainbow Mama book, and wanting to be getting cracking on it again, doing more research for it, more digesting and dreaming. And yet I know that I need to allow enough energy for the final birthing pushes of Moon Time before immersing myself in the deep challenge of shaping all the content that I have for Creative Rainbow Mamas. I am between birth and gestation. I am planning a women's workshop with a dear friend for April, and organising promoting JUNO at the Irish Homebirth Conference, where I am hoping to interview Ina May Gaskin in person - wahoo!

This on top of two sick girlies, and going from nearly weaned to exclusively breastfeeding our two-year-old. I am so excited to have so many creative dreams coming to fruition these next few months. My painting course starts today. I am literally vibrating with excitement about all these strands of my life. But my body is not sure if it is coming or going. I am being creative, then being a full time mama, pulled back and forth like the tide between the twin moons of my creative babies and my flesh babies.

Where are you at dear reader, as the moon becomes her fullest? Do you find that your cycles respond so acutely to your life? Are you celebrating the full moon this month?

Creative calls for submission

2012-02-02T10:27:00.000Z

Spring is springing inside and out.

There are a number of exciting collaborative projects which I have been invited to be part of, and which I want to share with you.

So dust off your creative juices - if you paint or draw, write poems, reflections or essays, if you take photographs...why not get involved too? This is your chance to share your work.

Whether you're an established creative, looking for a wider audience, or a novice who has been waiting for just the "right" moment to put your stuff out there - then this could be it.

The six collaborative projects below are looking for material on: breastfeeding, mothering, birth, pregnancy, soul work, book reviews, nature wisdom, transition culture ideas, the sacred feminine...

None offer monetary payment. All offer the opportunity to get your work out to a wider audience. Many offer a copy of the book you are included in. Many offer the opportunity to give to the greater good by supporting charities and grassroots co operatives.

There are three books on motherhood, two diaries and a website:

Musings on Mothering - La Leche League GB anthology

Deadline: end February 2012.
Contact: Teika Bellamy teika@mothersmilkbooks.com
The book will consist of words and art (in any kind of medium) and I plan to divide the contributions into these six areas:

1. Pregnancy and Birth

On the hopes, dreams and anxieties of the mother-in-waiting, and the life-changing experience of birth.

2. Babymoon

On life with your amazing newborn.

3. Everyday life

On the realities and rewards of mothering through breastfeeding, and beyond.

4. Extraordinary times

On powerful times, both happy and sad.

5. Remembering mothers
On nostalgia, childhood and mummy cuddles.

6. Thanking fathers

Or anyone who has supported a breastfeeding mother.

As the title of the anthology suggests, any kind of thoughts, musings, or personal stories about mothering would be welcome.

See here for submission guidelines

Motherfunker's Guide to Pregnancy and Birth

Deadline: end February 2012.
Contact: Paula Clery - aka Motherfunker - onelittlebuffalogirl@hotmail.com

A non-preachy, technicoloured, artistic and pretty. A realistic snapshot of pregnancy and birth for mamas and papas to be, with a good dose of nitty gritty as well as the beautiful, happy, pretty side of things. One for the ravers, goths, punks, bon-viveurs, hippies and indie types that your Miriam Stoppard type preggie book is not going to appeal to. There's already some beautiful hippy books for hippy-minded maidens like myself but not a lot going on for the wider 'alternative' audience.

I want to acknowledge the fact that a woman having a baby in this day and age is likely to have had a more colourful past than in days gone by. I want to acknowledge that a pregnant mother is not just some blank slate incubator, but a real live person with experiences! Good, bad and everything in between.

I want to acknowledge and talk about how women feel about being pregnant after:

- having an abortion

- taking drugs or frequently drinking a lot of alcohol

- being raped or sexually abused

- having an affair or relationship problems

- being declared infertile

- having an amazing job

- being adopted

- experimenting with sexuality - bisexual or lesbian experiences

- self harming or having anorexia/ bulimia

- having suffered only miscarriages so far

I want the book to be able to talk about the stuff you wouldn't dream of discussing at antenatal classes. Stuff that you couldn't share easily with newly made mummy friends. Stuff you would feel uncomfortable discussing with your midwife. See here for submission guidelines

Two diaries which I love - I have contributed to Earth Pathways for 3 years now. This will be my first approach to We'Moon.

We'Moon Diary 2014
Topic: Radical Balance - see their site for a full imagining of possible approaches to this topic.
Deadline: Sept 1 2012
Contact: sequoia@wemoon.ws
What they're looking for:
Eight pieces of writing maximum.

Prose is limited to 350 words;
Poetry should not exceed 35 lines (12 words/line).

Art and photos too

See here for submission guidelines

Compensation: for each published piece of art or writing is two complimentary We’Moon datebooks.
All published contributors will get a 40% discount off the purchase price of We’Moon 2014 products

Earth Pathways Diary 2014
Deadline: Oct 31st 2012
Contact: rowan3@talktalk.net

UK and Irish residents only
What they're looking for:

5 pieces of creative work, 250-300 words, art and photos too on celebrating our connection to earth, spirit, community and seasons See here for submission guidelines
Compensation: 1 diary per piece accepted

And two of my own projects:

How to be a Creative Rainbow Mama
For which I am looking for any final creative mamas to share their experiences of balancing creating and mama-hood.
For the questionnaire, see here

And finally, The Happy Womb
See here for submission guidelines

The Happy Womb welcomes YOU, with all your wonderful talents and contributions! We accept guest posts on:

herbs for women’s healing

finding your own wisdom

fertility issues

pregnancy and birth

women’s circles

creativity

book reviews

poetry

art

photography

images of craft

Posts should be no longer than 1000 words and have accompanying images. Please familiarise yourself with our style and content before submitting. Please note that whilst we share ideas and wisdom we do not push “one right way” nor judge people who choose differently. Please ensure that you post is written in compassion and respect for all those who might read it, wherever on their life journey they might be.We also accept creative work on the theme of womanhood which will be featured in our gallery space:

Shattered

2012-01-31T12:20:00.000Z

My nights are cut in pieces
The fabric of sleep shattered
By wails and wriggles
A hallucinatory no-time
Between wake and sleep
Suspended in longing for darkness and dreams
For silence and space.
Here I lie.
Shattered.
Crammed between two bodies that need me.
That call me their mother.
What am I?
I cannot feel myself.
I hold my aching body as still as I can
To ensure a little longer before another woken child
Another dose of medicine, glass of water, mopped brow, held body.
Here I lie, my brain writing masterpieces in the darkness
Words which evaporate with the dawn
The day is here once more, but sleep has eluded me once again.
I yearn for it like a lover.

Joy Pockets

2012-01-27T13:13:00.000Z

My gratitudes for the week...

Clear communication

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An end to endless editing!

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Raspberry Ripple ice cream - the name, the colour, the taste

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Crispy coated risotto balls oozing with mozzarella

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Spring springing

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Only one canine tooth left to emerge and a second birthday in sight - surely an end to wakeful nights

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A heron flying over the bog

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Lighter evenings

Joining with Melissa over at Vibrant Wanderings

Reclaiming the "I"

2012-01-25T11:19:00.001Z

The biggest message I got from my teachers at secondary school and University was - "don't say "I", we are not interested in what you think."

And so I learned to argue under the guide of detached, intellectual objectivity. This is the way of the scientific and academic worlds, this the way of the philosopher...

I realise in hindsight, that this was the submission of my anima, my female self, under the dictation of the animus, the outer patriarch. To be a successful woman in the world of the mind, I must think like a man, talk like a man, write like a man... but I'd never be as good as a man. Because I'm not one.

My essays were clever, got high marks and lots of praise. But they were cold. And dry. And clever... in the wrong way.

Starting to write from the soul happened for me in a flash of divine inspiration. Literally. The words started coming at me and I sat and scribed them. For about six hours solid. Then the next day - in a cafe, trains, even the toilet -the words just kept coming. Unplanned, there they were.

That is how all my best writing has been since - a deluge from the Universe - and all I have to do is transcribe it. And then hone and edit, and edit...

Compiling my new book and doing final, final, final edits on the paper back version of Moon Time, I see how how my writing has changed over the past few years. I see the beginnings of my published writing still in the academic mold, full of the mind and not of the heart - though in everything I wrote my soul shone through, in the themes, the writers I referenced, but not the style. The voice was not mine, though the message was.

Finding my voice has taken five years.

Mr Dreaming Aloud says - for the record - if you spend five years writing then it is to be hoped that one would improve!!!

It was JUNO that changed me as a writer. More specifically, our previous head editor Patricia, who demanded that all writers write in the first person. At first I felt it was a bit amateurish. This is what I had been counselled against my whole life. It lacks authority. Or so my teachers said.

But as time has gone on, and blogging has entered my life, and women's group - all areas where speaking from the "I" is our practice, my "I" has grown and strengthened. Now I am totally with Patricia, that in speaking from "I", I own what I know, I speak with authority, no that of an expert, but my own authentic knowing. I cannot write anything else. To do so is to interpret, to guess, to surmise, to invent.

I notice that speaking from the "I", from the personal, tends to be our feminine contribution to this world. To say: "this much I know, with my bones, my soul, my very life essence", is the gift of the most moving women in our world.

It might at first seem that speaking from "I" is being self-obsessed, or narcissistic. Perhaps it is. But more so, I see that in finding my "I", I help others to find their "I" - where it is different, where it is the same, to own their experience, to find their expression, is some of the most important, revelatory, healing work I can do. For myself and for the world. In telling my story, I empower myself to rewrite it in my own voice, rather than be a character in someone else's drama. In seeing the process in others, I find myself.

What has your experience been of owning your "I" voice - in writing, in life?

A Mother's Prayer

2012-01-19T16:19:00.001Z

Just going through the archives and saw this - love it, so wanted to share it again!

All mothers

Who art down the road, in the house next door, all around the world,

Hallowed be thy names,

Thy time will come, thy work will be done.

You give this day the daily bread - endless sandwiches (with crusts off, and cut the right way), wraps and pittas, with hummous or ham, jam or peanut butter, with butter or without, that will be left half-eaten.

Forgive us our shouting and lack of patience,

As we forgive those grubby fingered little sods who drew on the walls with our lipstick, sat on their sister, spat out their dinner and said mean things to their brother, and decided he'd prefer another mama.

And lead us not into temptation - three slices of cake is enough for a mama, and the grass is not always greener despite what you might think.

But deliver us from repeating cycles of abuse, hurt and destruction upon our precious charges,

For theirs is the future,

The power and the glory are not apparent right now,

Forever, and ever, and ever they seem to take to go to sleep, and it all seems a blur,

But one day we will see the results of this daily drudge and give thanks for our part in this miracle.

Ah men, don't know how good they've got it…or what they're missing out on!

Here it is....

2012-01-14T11:42:00.005Z

At last.

After weeks of editing and seeking copyright permissions. It's here. The e-version of my new baby. My very first book.

MoonTime: A guide to celebrating your menstrual cycle

For sale exclusively from

www.thehappywomb.com

15% discount for the next two weeks

£5.99

Usual price £6.99 (15% discount brings it to approximately $8.50/ €7.00)

ü 10% of proceeds go to The Red Tent Movie, 90% go to establishing East Cork’s first Red Tent.

ü Consists of 118 A4 pages- bursting with inspiring and beautiful colour images – including my own photography, original artwork, examples of red tents and a simple moon dial.

ü Read it on the go on your laptop or i-pad, or print it off at home.

ü Ready to print PDF format.

ü Cheaper cover price than the paperback, no postage to pay, environmentally friendly.

ü Instant delivery on payment, no need to wait for postage.

ü Click through the internet links and resources directly.

The first 100 customers get a 25% discount voucher for the paperback version, so you can upgrade to hard copy for yourself, or give a copy to a friend.

(This will be sent to you by email when the print version comes out in late February.)

OK, great sales pitch…but what’s the book about Lucy?

Well, this is the first of the Woman-craft TM collection of books, which will share theart of being a woman that your mother never taught you.

Chapters include:

l Our Cycles: Archetypal Insight
l PMT busters
l The seasons of Womanhood
l Menarche: First Periods
l Nutritional and Herbal Healing
l Putting the Moon back into Menstruation
l Finding our Voices
l Honouring Our Moon Time
l Red Tents and Moon Lodges

This beautifullywritten, highly practical guide shares:

l creative tools to help you celebrate your cycle
l rituals for self-care
l nutritional and herbal suggestions
l spiritual/ wise woman insight

It will empower you to experience:

l deeper harmony with yourself and your cycle
l natural ways of dealing with PMT
l a greater connection to the moon’s cycles
l ways to celebrate your daughter's impending womanhood
l the creation of your own red tent or moon lodge
l healthy, happy menstruation

Want tohave a sneaky peek? The introduction and an integrated menstrual chart areavailable to view here.

Here’s what other women (heroines ofmine!) are saying about it:

“Monumental… so important forwomen… Your book joins the momentum of changing the paradigms and shiftingwhat will come.”

ALisaStarkweather, founder of Red Tent Temple Movement

OOO

“A beautifuland inspiring book full of practical information and ideas.”

Miranda Gray,Red Moon

OOO

“Moon Time is a beautifully written resource fordeepening your connection with your cycle. This book could change your life!”

Rachael Hertogs, editor of Thirteen Moons and author Menarche: A Journey to Womanhood

OOO

She is one of the special whisperers, whohelps us to remember our own power and sacredness as played out in our cycles.Through her writing she initiates a dialogue with her readers. Her writingempowers her readers to have a voice to respond. This is a remarkable gift tous.”

Tracy Evans, PhD researcher on women's rites ofpassage, University of Aberystwyth

"'Moon Time' is a revelation! How could I be forty years old and know so little about a cycle that defines me? Reading this book felt like having a wise and loving older friend cherish me whilst guiding me through my most intimate world. This newfound insight gives me the emotional vocabulary to, in turn, cherish both myself and my three future-cycling daughters. What a beautiful gift to us all!"

Meadhbh O'Leary

Thank you ALL for your support and enthusiasm for this project. I hope it brings you joy, balance, self acceptance, community and nurturance into your life.

www.thehappywomb.com

My Four Children

2012-01-12T17:10:00.000Z

I always thought I would have four children.

Or rather I knew it.

According to my step mother, as a little girl I spoke about it a lot.

My husband and I spoke about it.

When pregnant with my second I had a dream of four sandcastles on the beach - they were my four children.

After having my fourth, and my husband's swift vasectomy I felt bereft, distraught, like a piece of the puzzle was missing, forever, there was a rip in the fabric of how my life was intended to be.

And yet I know I could not care for another child.

When my last child was about six months old I had another dream of four children. And this time my soul sister's only child was my fourth. That felt right. About two days later, unprompted our three year old refered to him as "our brother". Interesting.

And then, as you know, I have been wrestling with my need to mother and my need to write.

And it suddenly came to me. I have always referred to my books as my "other children". Only half jokingly. It is sad but true. My books, whilst all replaceable, hold a map to my soul and growth as a person on every level. And in the past few days it has become clear to me that my "mission" as a writer is to write the books I have always wanted to read, but never found. My writing is my fourth child. Just like we can sense our children years before they come to us, so I can with my writing. It takes the love and space and time and patience, and courage of a child in my life. It takes my energy and vision. It has my complete devotion and heart - and sometimes it disappoints me. I am never as good a writer as I want to be. Just like being a mother.

When my book arrived through the post this week, it truly felt like being a new mama again. The sheer elation, the sense of achievement. The sense of vision, destiny and reality coinciding in one barely believable moment which we have dreamed of all our lives, yet did not dare to believe could come true.

I am a newborn mama. I cradle my baby gently, carry her with me everywhere I go. She is precious. Perfect in my eyes. And I am beaming with delight, showing it off to everyone: look what I made!

Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat!

2012-01-10T08:53:00.000Z

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Our cupboards are full... but there's nothing to eat!

How often have you experienced this feeling? Your house might be full of food, but you just can't think what to make for dinner. It's as though everything we have put in our storecupboards and freezers suddenly becomes invisible.

I am a notorious stock piler - I have previously on this blog shared that I have a shop in my cupboard. I hate to run out of anything. I like to be able to cook anything from sushi and ramen to an Italian bean feast to a key lime pie at the drop of a hat. When I see it written there it seems a little ridiculous. I also have minor anxieties about "what ifs": what if we have friends over and there's nothing to rustle up a quick lunch? What if we're all sick and can't face going out to get food? What if we are flooded in or there is an oil crisis and suddenly we can't get to the shops for a week, or two? I believe strongly in family resilience... but has it gone too far? Am I officially a hoarder?

You see, what I have noticed this year is that we are throwing away food: because I've bought too much, because the kids don't like it, because the bulk-bought stuff had too short a shelf life. And if I'm being really honest, because I cook a whole lot less than I used to and aspire to - partly due to major child fussiness and partly my exhaustion.

So when this challenge came up, the "do no food shopping for a week and live off what you already have" idea was just what the doctor ordered. It was a good final hurrah to the Year of Enough of 2011, and a welcoming of 2012 Year of Abundance. And the biggest part of abundance is recognising the wealth you already have, and using and being grateful for it, rather than harking after more and more.

It was Christmas week, the time of plenty, I had done a large shop a week before, so this was hardly going to be a challenge... I thought! Just a simplification of my life. And so it has been a time of conscious consumption, of using what we already have. And I wanted to report that I haven't bought anything since... but that would not be true.

You see, I've bought milk, and bread, lots of bread...

I fully intended to make the bread myself. Because I always intend to. I can make a mean brown soda loaf. And we have a bread maker - how unchallenging is that. And yet, even this week, when I have committed to not buying anything, even though I love homemade bread so much more, even though it is so much healthier and cheaper for us, even though it has a timer setting so it can bake overnight and we can wake up to freshly baked bread - I HAVE NOT BAKED A SINGLE LOAF. (OK, since submitting this piece I saw the error of my ways and baked 3 delicious brown soda loaves!)

And you know why - because to me, baking bread is one of my aspirations - which also feels like the straw that would break this camel's back.

Bread is what my children eat most of during the day. I am SO tired of most of what I make for them being rejected that if I don't have the reliable staple of crap white bought bread that I KNOW they will eat, and I have hungry, cranky children roaming the plains... the results don't bear thinking about!

And also I realise it breaks my sacred (and rather slovenly rule) of not entering the kitchen, where I spend a lot of each day, after dinner, to set up the blasted machine, it feels like an extra tie to housewifeliness.

So there we have it. We have eaten lots of tins of beans and tomatoes, we have made a dent in the frozen meat. Have turned festering veggies into delicious soup. Spent almost no money... But not a green leafy vegetable has passed our lips, nor a loaf been baked - and the tragic thing is our store cupboard and freezer look almost untouched.

I think we shall carry on for another couple of weeks - I might even get over the whole bread thang and just BAKE! We can manage it fine, after a few kid staples are bought. And some brocolli. I miss my brocolli.
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
Elimination Experiment 3.0 — MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.
The Oil Cleansing Method — Erica at ChildOrganics explores an easy, organic and natural way to tackle skin care.
Experiments in Natural Family Living - Natural Toys! — Lani at Boobie Time enjoys the silence of natural toys and being more present with her son.
Discovering a New City and Organic Foods — Amy at A Secure Base describes her family's switch to and search for organic foods for one week.
My Experiment in Homemade Bread — Crunchy Con Mommy tried — and loved — baking her own homemade bread.
Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses — Gaby at Tmuffin stopped the excuses and started planning her weekly meals, drastically cutting her grocery budget and stress level and improving the quality of foods she fed her family.
My First Menstrual Cup — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children was pleasantly surprised with her first experience using a menstrual cup.
My Natural Beauty Regime — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the results of banishing cleanser and soaps from her bathroom, as well as a couple of natural homemade recipes that have worked well on her skin.
Unplugging and Creating a Rhythm: Our Experiment in Natural Family Living — Dionna at Code Name: Mama focused less on gadgets and spent more time with her family to create a healthy rhythm for the new year.
Experiments in Natural Family Living: 5 First Steps Toward Preparing for a Natural Birth — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama discusses how she tackled the pressing matter of how to begin preparing for a natural birth.
All you need is...vinegar! — Kristen at My Semi-Crunchy Life learns that one household product can replace all the cleaners in her cabinet.
Nope Nada Ixnay Negative Pass Decline — Zoie at TouchstoneZ finds out what shakes loose if she says, "YES!!" to anything anyone asks of her over the space of 10 days.
Reducing our exposure to toxins found in plastics — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins throws out the melamine and BPA plastics which have been hanging around the kitchen for too long.
Duh! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how she began the process of helping her 2-year-old son stop physically acting out.
Experiments in Natural Parenting: Starting, Stopping, and Gaining Perspective — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings explains how pregnancy brain interfered with her attempts to complete an experiment, but how she gained some interesting perspective as she started and stopped several.
From Experiment to Lifestyle — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her experience avoiding processed foods for a month, and deciding to make it a permanent lifestyle change.
From Disposable Paper to Reusable Cloth – AGAIN! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops flushing trees down the toilet and switches to the softest ever butt-wiping material: cloth.
Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice! — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis finds an energy-saving experiment that's so easy she didn't even realize it was happening.
Worm Tea — CatholicMommy isn't sure how successful her worm bin will be, but she's having fun anyway.
Miles to Go ... — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns that when it comes to sleep debt, she's in real deep.
My Month With Water Kefir — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries experiments with a new fermented probiotic drink homemade in her own kitchen.
OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting — What a difference a week makes! Ana at Pandamoly is afforded a week off from work and takes the chance to reconnect and reattach with her 16-month-old son through an experiment in simply being there.
Creating Healthy Family Recipes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiment with healthy, gluten-free recipes and a chocolate muffin recipe that was created during the experiment.
Adventures in Alternative Haircare: No 'Poo — This guest post at Natural Parents Network from Amy at Anktangle chronicles a months-long journey into the world of no 'poo.
My Experiment in Natural Family Living: Natural Family Planning — Birth control options are seriously limited for those of us trying to live a little closer to the earth, so Mama Psalmist experiments with natural family planning.

2012 - The Year of Abundant Rainbows!

2012-01-09T21:58:00.000Z

I have this sense that 2012 is going to be the year of abundance. The Year of Abundant Rainbows is the phrase that came to me!

Which is ironic because on paper, our earnings are set to be at least a third lower than last year...

Yes, the year of abundant rainbows indeed!

Which means...

Rainbow colours... check out my Pinterest board

And painting again, for the first time in more than a decade. I signed up for an e-course with Flora Bowley - and my juices are flowing already after so long of being dammed - LOVE her work (see below), love her blog, love the look of the e-course. Am now deliberating, fantasising about what paint colours to purchase. Feels good to be back in the painting groove.

Abundant rainbow streams of income... diverse little trickles of goodness in multiple forms, from multiple sources, enriching our life.

Diverse creative outlets and practices. Creative work being birthed out into the world.

The gold at the end of the rainbow even!

After the purging and pruning back and darkness of The Year of Enough - there will be energy aplenty to allow the colours to shine through. Where 2010 and 2011 were building up, then breaking down what we had. And cleansing and crashing down old established patterns and relationships to find a clearer, new way of being in the world more grounded in our own truths and a sloughing away of old allegiances which no longer serve us.

Get your hippy stuff on and embrace with me The Year of Abundant Rainbows! And full moon tonight.

In the gift world you do things, but nothing you do is " work" in the sense that we've come to think of it, because your security and your identity dont come fro. What you accumulate as a result of your identity. Instead, you give your efforts freely, accruing no obvious security or bolstering to your separate ego-self. As you give in this manner. Your wants and needs are mysteriously met in delightful and magical ways by the universe." Awesome Your Life.

Oh yeah!

Joy Pockets

2012-01-06T13:03:00.000Z

This week's little gratitudes

The first snowdrops of the year in our garden

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Treating the children to lovely days out - special treats and fun galore!
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New words by the day from "baby" Ash

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Mr Dreaming Aloud doing all those technical things I can't on the Happy Womb

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Dinosaur kisses from our three-year-old

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Great feedback on the blog from you, dear readers - thank you ALL for your comments

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Signing up to a course run by a hero of mine, which should help me on my journey this year

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Knowing that all sorts of wonderful books are in the post - the Great Book Race is on - which will be first to arrive?

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Curry night at home

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To all those who say "it doesn't get any easier"

2012-01-05T12:53:00.000Z

To all those who say "it doesn't get any easier, just different."

I say bollocks. And so does Mr Dreaming Aloud. As do many of our friends.

We say - you forget just how hard little children were.

Or perhaps you truly were lucky enough to have little angels. Or perhaps you just had one. Or perhaps you had lots and lots of child care. Or probably you really were the perfect parent. You never slumped on the sofa halfway through a day wondering how you were going to make it through the rest of it.

But perhaps I'm being a littler harsh, perhaps your teenagers breastfed through the night, waking you 8-10-12 times a night, every night, for 6 years.

Perhaps they lay on the ground in the middle of a shopping mall or car park and kicked and screamed and would not move.

You're right, all ten year olds I know give you stretchmarks all over your body and play havock with your hormones as you gestate, deliver and feed them. All eight year olds are so attached that you lose your body and freedom to their every whim for about two and a half years.

Sure teenage vegetarian phases rival three children under seven each of whom will not eat what the other does, want it cut up in a certain way, and are incapable of feeding themselves so you are morally obliged to provide food otherwise social services will call - even though you know they will not eat it.

If you had a baby or two who slept then bully for you. But we didn't. We don't. And nothing and no one can begin to understand the levels of sleep deprivation under which I and so many other parents live for YEARS.

So the next time you tell parents of very young children that it doesn't get any easier even when they're grown up, just stop. Please, please look into that parent's bleary eyes, make them a cup of tea, and tell them they're doing a wonderful job and that it will get easier... Even if you're lying through your teeth!

A wild woman riding the waves

2012-01-02T12:00:00.000Z

It occurs to me as I get buffeted by the storm winds of life, that all this is really research for my writing. I have learned not to panic, not to freak out, not to go running to help when it all gets a little choppy.

My books are grounded in my soul, my being, my experience, my knowing. And whilst I research deeply around the edges to bring the experiences of other women, and other writers, scientists and ancient wisdom in too, they are grounded in my own journey.

I notice that when I am creating, when I am gestating a new work, the storm winds rise. I get to live out what I am writing about. My life becomes the crucible of alchemical research.

Life: You're writing about the crazy woman/ retreat/ moon cycles/ being a creative mama? Well don't just do it from your head, HERE, THIS is the crazy woman! This is creative mama! Don't preach, don't be blase, don't rationalise or smooth her complexities. Live it and then write it from the trenches. There is your wisdom, that is your job. Mine the experience, bring back the gold, the insight, the jewel of madness, that is your gift.

And so, dearest reader, be it on this blog, or in my books which are emerging and unfolding, this is my sacred promise to you - there is no nicey-nicey, no expert, just a wild woman riding the waves, and taking notes as she goes, to help you to ride your own.

I think it might be easier to work in a shop, or be a bus conductor.

But instead, this is my calling, this is my soul work that brings me riches on every level.

And I love it with all my heart.

I Can Only Be Me! (And You Can Only Be You!)

2011-12-31T10:05:00.002Z

So it seems, for the first time in years, perhaps ever, I am dancing into the New Year. Literally. OK, well nearly literally, the party was on the 30th, and it finished at 9.30pm as we all had to take kiddies home to bed!

But boy did we dance. And woman was it fun.

And you know what my friends said to me? My friends who spend more time with me than anyone else bar my husband and children.

We didn't know you could dance!

You see Lucy doesn't normally dance. Because Lucy gets all jammed up and self-conscious, and feeling not cool. And so she sits quietly, anxiously, doing inner battle and wishing to be somewhere else instead.

Lucy who has had years of dance training in flamenco, belly dance, modern, ball room and the charleston. Lucy who trained at Drama School.

Just like another one I hear regularly: we didn't know you could sing!

My own father was surprised at his wedding a few years back that Lucy has a great singing voice.

Or there's the - wow you look really beautiful line. Because usually I don't. Because I feel fat and frumpy - because I have my own style and shape which isn't, you guessed it, "cool".

Or "I had no idea you wrote" - oh yes, dear readers it's true - probably less than half of the people in my life knew I wrote until a couple of months ago. Because, once again, the topics I write on aren't very.. cool.

Most don't know I edit a magazine. Ditto.

Oh and the drop jawed surprise from my brother and sister that the favourite picture of their on our sitting room wall was, yes, you guessed it, by me. We didn't know you painted, they chorused.

I'm funny too. Very funny. Though many are surprised when they see that side to me. My dad claimed I had no sense of humour a few years back. Little did he know.

I'm sexy too. Very. When I let myself. Little old me!

So you see, there's this little pattern of Lucy shutting herself down and hiding in a corner in mortification because she doesn't feel her "thang" is acceptable, in fact it's down right embarrassing, because it's not quite perfect or cool enough.

So you know what? I think this might just be the year that I really get my groove on. I've been practicing bit by bit, year on year. But let this be the year where I let myself out of the box and just "do my thang". Bright and shiny, sassy and sexy, funny, messy, silly, wacky, creative ...and reclusive, wise, serious, quiet and contemplative when I need to be too.

I might even let myself mother to my own standards too! Wouldn't that be nice, rather than failing every day because I don't do everything the way the books say.

You see, I've always thought that I shouldn't until I was perfect. Because, for some reason, until I was better than the whole world, then I wasn't good enough. So if there was one book out there better than mine, then I couldn't be a "real" writer. If everyone was better at dancing then I wasn't allowed to dance. I'm not allowed to look sassy and sexy until I'm an appropriate (skinny) weight - even though I look great at 12 stone.

So my non-perfect heroes for 2012 are
Goddess Leonie
Jason McLellan - author of Zugunruhe
And Pam, from the blog Pama-rama-ding-dong who did a great curvy woman photo shoot which she shared on her blog (see my blog roll for her blog)

This Goddess Leonie (sorry to keep harping on about the woman, but she is a kindred spirit who is doing her thing and so I identify) - I LOVE her videos - they're not perfect at all. They're blurry, and they go wrong and her baby walks in, and she stumbles over her words... but you know what? They're great - bright and shiny and fun, just the way they are. She doesn't try for perfection until she release her work -she does it and puts it out. Another influential book in my life the past couple of months, Zugunruhe, which I shall be talking about more in the next few weeks talks about the 3/4 baked philosophy, where the author urges us to do our work the best we can, but rather than spending all our energy in refining it ad infinitum, put it out to the world 3/4 baked and let the feedback and the inspiration it creates, and your own distance, do the final honing, because really there is no such thing as perfect.

So here's to a year of funky imperfection, of creative expression and doing it our way. Here's to a book that won't be perfect - but will be wonderful.

Here's to getting our sexy, sassy thing on in our own unique way, of listening to our rhythms, dancing to our own beat, and applying our own standards.

Here's to you. Here's to me. And here's to Eva Cassidy, who will play us into 2012 - she was a great companion on my road trip the other day... (Listen here!)

I Can Only be Me

Butterflies begin, from having been a larva,

As a child is born, from being in a mother's womb,

But how many times, have you wished you were some other;

Someone than who you are.

Yet who's to say that if all were uncovered,

Mama's home!

2011-12-30T11:07:00.004Z

So after my last post and a couple of comments (all of which I deeply appreciated - they touched my soul), I saw the light. I realised I could ask for what I needed, which was to escape. I asked in love. Mr Dreaming Aloud knew where I was at, knew I wasn't doing a runner on him, and released me with love.

And so I got online, found some wonderful places to retreat - if it wasn't the night before, during the Xmas hols... and so I was left with no final destination.

So I headed for one of my favourite places in the world - West Cork. There is a line that I pass, about 10 miles West of Cork city, where the landscape shifts gears, and opens up, and I go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I feel like I have crossed a kind of time and date line, into a different land, both internally and externally.

So I drove to a beautiful castle overlooking Kinsale bay.

Image: tripadvisor.ie

It was stormy, wind and rain, my tears were appropriate to the day. I sobbed and felt lost. And there, walking past my car, just as I had done on precious times before, were parents walking with their little children. And my heart strings went. That's what I wanted. You weren't expecting that dear reader, and nor was I. So I drove back past the hotels, past the colourful craft shops and galleries, past the little cafes. I didn't want to eat out, I didn't want a strange bed, I didn't want to be alone with myself. I wanted home and my children, and my husband, and my bed, and my friends. I missed my baby, I was sad that she would be sad about not feeding. I realised that although I may want to escape from being a mama, I was a mama deep in my soul. something deep had shifted, unseen, these past few years. I just hadn't had the space to really feel it, to touch it, and so I doubted it was there.

As I was pondering, whether to wimp out and turn around, a friend called to finalise lunch plans, not knowing that I did not know about them, nor that I was over an hour away.

And so I turned my (sister's) car around and headed for the little fishing village next to ours. And there round a table were some of my dearest friends in the world, a spread of home-cooked food, a baby reaching out to me - mama, milkie!

I sat down, late, unannounced and burst into tears. And being true friends, not an eyebrow was raised, not a comment made. My plate was filled - I fed my baby and ate my dinner. And then we talked and laughed and our children played and our menfolk played Scrabble.

Then I had an early night, baby curled in one side of me and my son the other side.

Mama's home!

p.s. Let it be known that I felt a total wuss chickening out on two precious days alone time,and know that many of my mama readers are yearning for that right now and are probably hurling rocks at me through my computer screen. I just knew that I was getting anxious and needed to be somewhere familiar. So I am taking a 6 hour creative retreat here at the Tea house (and cafe) today, then a late lunch with other dear friends. And I have special retreat places on my to-do list for later in the year once baba is weaned and I am not feeling anxious.

The confessions of a domesticated wild woman

2011-12-28T19:08:00.003Z

As we head into a New Year, my soul is calling to be free. I am so sick and tired. Literally and metaphorically. Tired, tired, tired of the complications of emotional relationships on every level. Tired of family. This Christmas season has been fraught in just about every family relationship I have, and I am SO done with it. All I want is simple - no feelings, no misinterpretations, no needs made of me, no demands or requirements. I am fit to run from home and hide in a cabin in the wild woods of Alaska.

May I add as a side note that I am not overdoing it with work, nor with house or social commitments. But even the little I am doing is too much. I feel the New Year hovering and with it big new work, new creations to be gestated, others to be delivered. I feel the need to clear and cleanse myself in a way I never have before.

This is not easy as a mama of three little ones. Especially one who wakes throughout the night and does not want to be weaned. And another who demands me to do everything.

It's all just TOO full on in our little world right now - I just need an emotional detox from everything I can and to step back all requirements made on me that I can. I want to dive into my creative life head first.

And so, with those that understand, I am asking for space. Little kiddies do not, it must be said, understand. So I shall have to do my best. Though in reality I despair of the mother I have become to them. I cannot even justify it many days as "doing my best". The truth is that I am here. And that must be enough. I am coming to a rather late conclusion that I am not great long-term mother material. And that does make me feel sad. My creative spirit calls me. I try to keep my heart with my kiddies, not to burn too many bridges. But the call is loud and strong. And I am aware that I am kindling the flames of mother-hate within them, flames that will be fanned by the winds of age and independence.

The voice of the wild calls. I want to be free. The louder it calls, the stronger I feel my weakness as a partner, a mother. My gaping lack of ability. I want to run away, to fly to a far distant land, to be free of my captivity, my drudgery, from this life I have so willingly chosen for myself, from this domestic bliss I have so carefully constructed, piece by piece. It feels like shackles to my soul. It chafes and confines. I long to be free. Just me. Pure, and free. Me and the wind and the moon and the trees, and my trusty pen. Free. How that word sings. I long for freedom. Can taste it like the memory of ice cream eaten on an exotic beach. Everything about my life as a mother is far from free. My day is wound carefully around the needs of others.

I feel like a domesticated wild woman. So often I just want to run. I don't belong here pairing socks and making pancakes, wiping bottoms and lulling fractious children to sleep. I want to be off, wild and free, with no one to answer to, to be nice, polite to, to make a nutritious meal, carefully cut up for. I wish to wake when I want, and sleep when I want. Alone.

I want to write all day, then to sit and watch the fire and eat chocolate and drink to much wine, then walk in the woods by moonlight, before curling up alone in a warm bed with a book that makes my soul soar before going to sleep for a night full of uninterrupted sleep.

Operation Christmas Spirit

2011-12-23T11:54:00.000Z

Operation Christmas spirit: this is my last ditch attempt to feel festive, after feeling decidedly meh! after the pottery Christmas party yesterday.

So up with kiddies at 8.30, despite a lousy night, despite it being my writing day. And straight into the kitchen. I unleashed my inner domestic goddess, who has been away these past weeks, perhaps even months, whilst creative rainbow mama has been here writing books. And so in two hours we made:

clementine jelly
cranberry sauce
cranberry, pecan, dark choc and orange cookies
gingerbread cookies
mulled apple juice

The house smelt of Christmas. And then breakfast of cookies and mulled juice tasted like Christmas. So I think we can say mission accomplished! Might even head off to see the big red man at the local safari park this afternoon!

After sharing last year's Santa post on my Facebook page (if you're not a friend, make that your Xmas pressie to me...) a good friend emailed me this...

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit allaround the world in one night and not get lost. A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!

Oh it made me chuckle - thank you Leigh . As did the comment that another reader left at the bottom of my Santa post about collecting kangaroo poo from the Australian bush to act as reindeer poo! Hahaha!

So all it leaves me to say is have a very Merry Christmas, dearest readers. We are set to hit 50,000 page views before Christmas day which is very exciting. Thank you for coming back again and again and sharing the journey. It is all the more rich with you here.

I would love a festive hello from all my readers below. If you've never said hi, take a deep breath and de-lurk yourself (thank you SO much Lucy for your lovely de-lurking email this morning- it made me smile!).

Tell me what you REALLY want this Christmas.

Me? I REALLY want to hold my own book in my hands, and have a "placing it on my own bookshelf ceremony" - which is why I have been working SO hard on it!

That and a night's sleep. But I've been asking for that for 7 years!

Merry Christmas one and all, and to all a good night ('s sleep!)

Losing my religion

2011-12-20T16:11:00.002Z

That's me in the spotlight,

That's me in the corner,

losing my religion.

(REM)

I have a feeling that part of the problem with Christmas this year, is that it's the first year in my life when I really, truly know that I don't believe.

It will be the first year that I do not go to church or a carol service of any sort, by choice.

You see, I have wrestled for years with my Christian faith. And have come to the conclusion that it is not OK with me. There are too many central tenets which are antithetical to my personal beliefs.

I do not believe in the Christian idea of heaven.
I do not believe that god is "our father"
I do not believe in a virgin birth
I do not believe in the creator god of the old testament
I positively abhor the god who smites and advocates death and destruction as judgement against his enemies. That is not what or who GOD is.
I despise what has been done in the name of god throughout the centuries
I do not believe that Jesus is the only son of God
I do not believe that god is male... or female
I do not agree with only men being allowed to minister.
I do not believe in the resurrection
Nor do I believe in the rite of eucharist.

It is pretty undeniable that I am NOT Christian.

To paraphrase Emerson, " I am ashamed to see what a shallow village tale our so-called religion is".

I have read and re-read the bible. Debated on the doorstep with Jehovah's Witnesses. I have read spiritual texts from many people and belief systems. At grad school in Cambridge I used to go to church twice on a Sunday - mainly for the beautiful music. As a mum of one I used to go to Quaker meeting most Sundays. I have had a lot of religion in my life.

But I now know that I cannot call myself Christian.

I am spiritual. Deeply so. And believe in a universal god energy.

But I know that my rejection of Christianity puts me at odds with so many - some who analyse their own faith deeply, and others who live inside it like a cosy old jumper which was handed down to them by their grandmother. A large part of me is sad that I cannot do that, be like that too. It would be much safer, easier, accepted, acceptable, straight forward.

And so here I am this Christmas - knowing that for the first time in my life it really isn't about the baby Jesus for me. It truly isn't. It is about the light and darkness. And celebration, feasting and family. And so tomorrow, we shall celebrate Solstice with friends, food and creativity. That is what feels most "true" for me. But the Pagan festivals are not settled in my soul either. They are new to me.

So here I stand. Between traditions. Knowing what is not true for me. Sensing what might be. Everything is shifting, it feels uncertain.

Children are for life... not just for Christmas

2011-12-19T17:05:00.000Z

"True dat!" As my brother would say.

Though it feels like a life sentence at times.

And then they are so sweet. So vulnerable. So funny. And my heart melts. And then again...

Festivals of light

2011-12-13T14:45:00.001Z

We are in the middle of a six week period where cultures around the world celebrate light - candles and twinkling fairy lights for Hannuka, Eid, Christmas and Advent, Diwali and Winter Solstice. There seems to be strong human urge to gather together, to feast, and to lift our spirits with sparkling lights.

Today is St Lucia's day. A festival of light. And my patron saint. Our name, from the Italian, luce and Latin lux means light. I loved this post from Twig and Toadstool last year about it, it's the first time I had heard of the celebration. Needless to say in an ideal world we would be making costumes and the like - but this, dear readers, is the year of enough- and that means enough guilt for all that we are not doing this season!

Driving home after yesterday's rant, we drove down the main street - and marvelled at the street lights, drove home past houses lit up inside and out. And my spirits lifted. This, this is what I love about this time of year, more than anything else. It used to be the music too, but with my failing Christian belief (more of which another time) and the fact that Christmas adverts start on the 1st November, I find them less rousing than once upon a time. Except The Snowman, I LOVE The Snowman - am linking to it here to get you feeling all tingly and magical.

But the light, the even the garish lights on the over decorated houses - you know the sort with a hundred inflatable flashing reindeer on the roof - they spark my soul with beauty and hope. And I realise that that is what we're missing here in the Pink House. Because of being energy conscious we don't "do" many lights - we have some on the stairs, our solar powered tree ones don't work - of course. I love lighting the (wilting) advent wreath with the children. I want to do more of that. And they love it too. They adore lighting candles.

And so, I think, this year I will pass on the carol service and the huge amounts of festive cooking. Gingerbread houses and dressed up santas in shopping malls be damned. I will celebrate a festival of light, a simple, gentle season of light and magic in the dark and cold. That will be my focus this festive season, in this year of Enough - to celebrate the light - to absorb the magic of the twinkling lights, and add a few of my own.

Beware the troll!

2011-12-12T09:57:00.001Z

Who's that trip trapping over my bridge?

Well bugger off! I'm too tired to eat you.

I feel as much like Christmas as... I'm too tired for metaphors. Is it just extreme tiredness, two migraines in a week and a deaf right ear, or is it getting older that makes me so unenthused about Xmas this year? I can see it out there - but I don't feel it. At all. And I feel bad for my kiddies. I feel bad for us all, because we had such a wash out of a Christmas last year because of sickness, so I've been looking forward to making up for it all year. And now I'm not.

Everyone's cranky. Me most so. Girlies were out of sorts all last week - tantrums and wakeful nights all round. Mr Dreaming Aloud can be quoted as saying "the novelty of having little kids is wearing mighty thin".

I am in full agreement.

A little secret for you - last week's Joy Pockets were written the Friday before - the last time I felt, what's it called? - oh yes - joy - at being a mama.

I know I get like this when I'm super-mega-tired. I know I get like this when I'm sick. I know I get like this when I've had to be touching a baby every second of the night otherwise she wakes up. I know I get like this when I'm at a critical part of a project and just want to concentrate on it. I know I get like this because my life is ordered in its totality around my kids and I am angry that Mr Dreaming Aloud's isn't in the same way.

Bah humbug.

Joy Pockets

2011-12-09T10:11:00.001Z

Sharing this week's gratitudes

Bedtime family dancing to The Gipsy Kings

...

Twinkling fairy lights

...

Walking home from a creative day's "work" to a roast chicken cooked for me

...

Baby Ash playing air guitar! Yes really!

...

Homemade chips

...

Our boy's pidgin Spanish picked up from said Gipsy kings CD

...

A winter chill in the air

...

Fluffy socks

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Making hot chocolate on top of our wood burning stove

...

Playing Christmas carols (badly) on the piano and everyone singing along

...

My chilli n holly wreath on the front door - it makes me smile every time I see it

...

A 99% finished book. The first ever - I've started 7 in my life!

...

3 little kiddies - perfect in every way - most of the time!

...

A husband who understands everything - well me and WordPress - the two most complex things on the planet

And you? I'd love to hear your joy pockets for the week. Share them below in the comments or link up here with me and with Mon over at Holistic Mama

Woooosh!

2011-12-05T21:55:00.001Z

Woooosh!

What was that?

That was my life.

Woooosh!

Zooming along at a million miles an hour. Doing twenty things at once. Distracted. Impatient. Rattling the cage bars. Come on, hurry up!

I have been watching myself this past week, noticing how I take on more and more projects, ideas, how the work piles up - the faster I do it, the more is waiting to be done. Just how many plates can I have spinning on sticks before they come crashing down. The deadlines are building up and breathing down my neck. Deadlines for projects I am excited about. That I really want to do. Yet in chorus they shriek and paw at me, threatening to maul me to death.

I recognise, perhaps a little belatedly, that I am a complete workaholic - like my father before me - and, I get a sense, his mother before him. I get my deepest pleasure and fulfillment from my work. And I exhaust myself doing it. Racing around. Being mindful...ly mad!

So much for the Year of Enough - it lasted about a week!!!

So, once more I am recommitting myself to it. Even if just for today!

"Before Buddha awakened under the Bodhi Tree, he wasn't dealing with
spam, computer viruses, voicemail, insurance claims, credit
ratings, childcare, coordinating busy schedules, or any of the
other complexities we face on a daily basis.

Human life has improved tremendously in so many important ways, and
yet in other respects, we face challenges to our serenity and
happiness that could scarcely have been dreamed of three thousand
years ago."

Integral Enlightenment email

What are you giving yourself during this season of celebration?

2011-12-04T15:50:00.001Z

The tree is up, the nature table is adorned, as is the mantle piece. The fairy lights are up, the door wreath and advent wreaths smelling of evergreen glory. Presents bought, cards to be written this week (we managed to get one of the last boxes of handmade cards I talked about here), that's before I even think about menu planning and shopping, and planning the craft for our women's group Christmas craft tea this Sunday. Yup, Christmas is coming and mama's getting panicked all over again!

The Christmas rush has started - and though I love and adore it, and love to do it in homemade style - there's no denying it can be pretty exhausting and overwhelming making sure that everything is taken care of.

When really, the most important thing to take care of is... yup, YOU! Your health, your happiness, your sanity!

So I ask you - what are you giving yourself?

Last week I talked about giving myself gifts each Christmas and birthday - and you know what, I think it's vital. It doesn't have to be expensive at all - but it has to be something which makes your heart sing, your spirit shine and your soul glow. It has to make you feel WOW!

It might be a full body massage. Or a glossy book you don't need, but you really want. Or a meal out... for one. Or a painting class. Or a meditation retreat. Or if you need someone to take you by the hand and sing some love into your soul - and guide you along the way of self care then I’ve got something for you. Something amazing.

This incredible holiday gift pack includes: Goddess Leonie's 2012 Goddess Year book ( for more on that read on!), meditations, interviews, MP3s, e-books, teleconference, a vision board... 17 gifts in total to get you feeling good in your body, loved up in your relationship, visioning for the year ahead, creating energy for yourself... There is so much good stuff in there I don't even know where to start.

With gifts from 14 influential women like Gabrielle Bernstein, Amy Ahlers, Jennifer Louden, Goddess Leonie, LiYana Silver and more! Please, go, right now, this instant and check it out!

But what is I love about this package, is that its creator Daphne understands that though we all may want to feel like a million dollars, we don't have that to spend on self care. And so, for the next 72 hours, it's all for the price you pick. That's right, you choose what you can afford! Which is why I am sharing it with you. Or perhaps it would make a wonderful Christmas gift for your mother, or sister...

Or just get a 2012 Goddess Yearbook by itself direct from Leonie - perhaps one for your best friend too! Or one for your women's group to share?

Although they come free with the Goddess Circle membership, I only printed off, and filled my 2011 one out a month ago, because I was like - meh! I'm not printing that out, I'll do it in my head... but oh my, the colour, the zizzy inspiringness, I love the way it gets you into a visioning mindset of co-creating the year ahead, and blessing the year behind. It is pure goodness in technicolour hand-illustrated, paper form. I LOVE it! In fact, I am heading off right now to print off my 2012 Yearbook - steaming hot off the press!

Really, as you know, I recommend the circle membership - because you get ALL her goodies for one price. But if you wanted a little taster, the cheapest way in to try Leonie's stuff and see if it is for you. If you want to dream big and bold for 2012, then this is for you!

And talking of hot off the press - the December issue of Wild Sister e-zine is out - this month's theme is Celebrate. If you need a little, instant cheer me up and soul surge inspiration, then this is for you. You can pick up the first three issues for the bargain price of AUS$8 right here!

For even more lovely goodies, do check out my post on supporting women's craft this Christmas.

What are YOU giving yourself this holiday season? Take care of YOU.
xxx

Sharing the e-love - hardcore blogging for women!

2011-12-03T11:58:00.001Z

Apparently there's something called mercury retrograde happening right now, which, if you're into astrology, means that everything stalls, goes backwards or generally buggers up.

I can say without a doubt that this is true.

Listening to other people moan about their technical problems is about as tiresome as listening to them give out about their partner.

So I won't. But let's just say this week the Happy Womb has been re built three times, went AWOL on numerous occasions, changed hosts, changed software, drove me cuckoo.

OK, sorry, a little moan, but now to share what I have learned, to save any of my dear readers the same stress if you find yourself in a similar situation. I will break it down into simple parts and share my e-love with you...

1) Did you know WordPress is not just WordPress? Oh yes. There are two: Wordpress.com and Wordpress.org. Am I the only idiot who did not know this?

If you want a personal blog. You go for .com. Like blogger but sharper and more modern looking. It is free software and free hosting.

BUT

If you want to build a site for a business. Basically if you want to be able to earn money from your site using a shopping cart, the WordPress.org is what you need.

Simples... no?

2) Well, no. Because to use WordPress. org you need a HOST for your domain. You also need a URL. Which you can buy via them, or many other places. So I had my URL (www.thehappywomb.com). But now it was parked on WP.com

3) So to find a host - there are hundreds out there. And they cost. Between $50 and $150 for a simple package. Where to start?

Well I can say, without a shadow of a doubt - go with HostGator - they are in the top 10 hosts,they are some of the most affordable packages, they have won masses of prizes, but best of all, and this is INVALUABLE - if you get in a pickle - which I did every day for four days, you have instant free support - by free phone in the US, and by instant messaging. And they're SO nice, and SO helpful. And rather than doing the whole "computer says no" routine. They understand what's wrong. And then fix it online for you in minutes. They fix all the things that you have spent 24 hours singlehandedly buggering up. For free. And I didn't ever have to wait for more that 3 mins for service. They are open 24/7 - and staffed by the sort of young men you would definitely bring home to meet the parent - if you weren't already married. If you're in the market for a domain host - do not think twice - just step their way.

HostGator also has an easy to use control panel and one click installation of most of the software you need to use.

4) And then I got my knickers in a knot about images - for the website and the e book cover. And then I thought, you know what Lucy, you don't HAVE to do it all yourself. So I started looking for images. I know there's loads of great image sites out there. But I loved this Dreamstime. Because there were loads of great, and affordable images to buy, but also the best free library I've come across in my searches. There are lots of creative images and designs too. And they can be used on blogs, ebooks and real books free of charge. I got these images for free from there!

5) Then I was wondering how do you put together an e-book cover so that it looks the real deal - and found this - it looks a great resource on all aspects of blogging too.

http://www.standoutblogger.com/tutorials/tutorial-how-to-create-an-ebook-cover-with-photoshop/

6) And finally, I wouldn't be embarking on any of this if it was not for the inspiration and practical goldmine which is Leonie's Business Goddess e book

So there we have it a round up of my techie week.

I would love to have your feedback as I compile The Happy Womb - I love this image of hands making a heart over a womb - it says love, happy, womb and woman to me - but I don't want it to seem like it's just a pregnancy site...Because it's far broader - It's about womancraft - see the first post up - so our fertility, creativity, self care, honouring our bodies, and celebrating being women - red tents, womens circles...

I wondered about making it rich and red - like a womb space or a red tent - but there are a lot up like that. I though pink - but I know a lot of alternative women are anti pink - I am currently going for light and clear...

What do you love in a website, and what do you hate? Dark colours or light. Flash screens or simple? I would really value your input...

Joy Pockets

2011-12-01T20:08:00.001Z

...

Having one of those days where you get everything done on your to-do list that you've been avoiding for months

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A baby who loves peeling tangerines all day - but not eating them!

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Waxing and glazing my sculpted candle angels

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Chocolate advent calendars

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Making our advent wreath - eucalyptus and peacock feathers this year!

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Masterchef: The Professionals - four nights a week, every week - hurray!

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Turkish delight

...

Wonderful friends

...

A teacher who's willing to be flexible and put the student's needs before her own ego

...

Receiving the first glowing testamonial for my Moon Time e-book

...

Figuring out Wordpress - all over again - long story!
...

I'd love to hear your gratitudes for the week.

Linking up with Mon over at holisticmum.blogspot.com/

Hello!

2011-11-30T21:24:00.001Z

Hello dear reader, I am here...

I'm just a little bit busy right now...

All good...

Just busy.

See you soon!

A Question of Belief

2011-11-28T11:03:00.001Z

Warning:

This post is not suitable for

the faint hearted

devout Christians

or small children

So, for the other two reader of my blog - settle down and enjoy!...

***

Regular readers will be aware of the on-going saga of our "difference of opinion on the god issue" with our son's Catholic, state school - namely they believe, yet state that it's all very benign, meanwhile I sit and stew about my innocent child being brainwashed by a dogma to which we as a family most definitely do NOT subscribe.

One week before the annual Parent Teacher meeting, I happened to have a conversation with my son about saying what you felt, saying "you need to say what's important to you, because people can't read your mind."

"But god can" - he retorts, quick as a flash.

"Where did you hear that?" - I demand - knowing the reply before it comes

"Teacher said"

Cue fuming mama, planning careful speeches to approach teacher with one week hence.

The day of reckoning arrives. We talk reading books and my son's general lack of interest in the inane reading matter he is sent home with. She is suprised to hear that a child isn't riveted by it.

We talk reading ages and maths skills. I brace myself to bring up the dreaded subject. She gets there first.

The colour drains from her face, her voice goes quiet and slightly shaky. "There's just one other thing I need to talk to you about. There have been complaints..."

My mind races. Complaints about my dear, gentle, sweet boy?

"From some other parents. He's been upsetting the other children, going around telling them that it's not true... we thought maybe he was getting it from home..."

"No", I stammer, earnest in my need to please, "we believe, we're making sure he believes too, though I've overheard him rationalising the improbabilities of it..."

"That's OK so, because it's really important that they all believe...

In Santa!"

For flips sake! I daren't mention to her that in circles that I hang out in on the blogosphere that Santa is "bad". It might have given her a heart attack. He might have been kicked out of the school. It seems they can tolerate non-belivers in the god thing, just. But not Santa. That'd be a weirdness too far.

So I brought up the god thing. Tit for tat! She was understanding - said the priest had hotfooted it of the classroom the other day when the children started bombarding him with questions about what happens when we die.

Belief - a thorny issue. Adults are weird, it has to be said. But as long as we all believe in Santa then it's all OK!

Postscript: We took him to see Arthur Christmas this weekend just to ensure a thorough indoctrination!

Joy pockets

2011-11-25T20:21:00.001Z

Though I have many joy pockets this week, I wanted to share one very special one with you. One that makes my work worthwhile, that makes risking talking about the untalkable so totally worth it. I went to bed beaming after having received this wonderful email about how my Honouring Your Crazy Woman talk at the World's Biggest Summit has helped to transform the life of a woman in Brazil (which I am sharing with her permission)....

I´m writing to let you know how your words in the World Biggest Summit touched me.

It was SO strong for me to hear about the Crazy Woman! Sometimes I stopped what I was doing and just listened. I heard the audio about 2 or 3 times in sequence, in my MP3, while I was cooking the dinner.

That night, before go to bed, my kids and husband were sleeping, I sit down and made my Crazy Woman drawing. After I wrote the words associated to her. Finally I made an adapted altar with some rocks, shells and seeds and light a candle.

Wow!

Next day I felt myself calmer and almost in peace. For the first time in years I felt less guilty about my terrible humor -- or at least less guilty to be crazy.

Now I´m trying to nurture the great Rainbow Woman and handle the huge Crazy Woman inside me.

{...}

The next day I started blogging again (I used to blog before I had my kids). My first post was a detail of my Crazy Woman.

I´ve been wanted to blog for so long... but I didn´t permit me until this time.
After I heard you, I allowed myself to do the blog and since than I´m keeping trying to allow me to do things that I like more often.: http://passarim.blogspot.com/

Thank you, Lucy!

Hugs,

Alessandra, Brazil

How to be a creative mama

2011-11-24T14:18:00.001Z

"With the arrival of my children has come the arrival of a new burst of creativity, something which many of the mothers I interviewed for my book (on Creative Rainbow Mamas) experienced too.

There are so few words about the real experience of mothering and the real experience of being a woman. We tend to lack the language, the courage, the sense of value to be able to give words to our realities and our dreams. My upcoming book is an attempt to put language to the reality of being the most fabulous, and misunderstood of creatures: a creative mother.

My first child was just four weeks old when I realised that I need to correct my creative/mother balance. I started to follow The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Her morning pages exercise reconnecting me with my old sense of self, which through work, training (albeit in arts teaching), pregnancy and now mothering felt like a far-distant land, and one to which I had lost the return ticket..."

Lucy Pearce (aka Mrs Dreaming Aloud), being interviewed on the subject of creativity and motherhood.

To read the whole interview, head over to Artisantopia (The Internet Filtered for Creative People), where you will find out:

How I weave my days
My views on TV and kids
More about my Creative Mama book, and other upcoming projects
What the mothers I interviewed for the book agree on... and what they hide
My key supports and tools for being a creative mama

See you there!

And if you haven't contributed to my research on creative mamas it's not too late - click here to find out more about how to contribute your experience to my book.

Supporting women's craft this Christmas

2011-11-23T21:30:00.000Z

What are you doing for Christmas presents this year?

As you know I am massively into supporting women to support themselves and their families through their creativity, and that includes in the developing world. I much prefer this approach, and micro loans, rather than charity. I try as often as I can to buy handmade gifts from women's co operatives, to help move money from our rich world directly into the hands of creative women - they bring colour and beauty into my life.

This year I want to bring your attention to some wonderful women and projects supporting them.

www.serrv.org

Beadies - made by a woman in Uganda and sold via a new charity: Footprints in Uganda -these stunning beads (this pic doesn't do them full credit) are only £5 for a beautiful long string of beads made from recycled paper, handrolled and dipped in resin. I am buying myself 2 strings for Xmas. Do you buy yourself Xmas pressies and birthday pressies? I don't know when I started, but it's a crucial part of my celebratory times - a gift of love for myself, and something that I wouldn't normally treat myself to. And it's ALWAYS just what I want!!!!

For cards - Sreepur cards - based in Bangladesh is a community which cares for 100 destitute mothers and 500 children. At the heart of the community is a paper-making facility, where the mothers transform locally grown jute into beautiful paper which in turn becomes handcrafted Christmas cards. The charity was set up by an ex British Airways stewardess, and BA transport the cards free of charge to the UK for sale, so 100% of the cards sale price goes directly to the mothers and children. They sell at £13.50 for a pack of 16 cards - this year's sold out, due to great coverage in The Guardian, but you can add your name to their mailing list for next year, with subject line 'Priority 2012' to orders@sreepurcards.org

Oxfam - for a whole host of ethically made and traded crafts in the UK only (unfortunately the Irish branch has closed) - I'm asking for a beautiful embroidered sari from it as the foundation piece for my new red tent project (more of which very soon!! - see Facebook for a bit more!)

Serrv is based in the US and sells fair trade, hand made, non profit goodies - some beautiful jewellery, linens and much more... I love these...

And of course there's Etsy, brim full of beautiful handmade creative gems from gorgeous women around the world.

What are YOU doing for Xmas this year? All homemade? No pressies? A secret Santa arrangement? Or full blow out of beautiful gifts? Do you get organised early - or are you a last minutest? I HAVE to have all mine bought/ made or visioned by the end of November at the very latest or I FREAK OUT!! - I've been like this since I was five! So, needless to say, all ours are sorted.

What's on YOUR wanted list? I'm holding out for an i-pad - as a joint gift from everyone - for lots of creative fun.

And what are you making for Xmas? I have just dropped off the clay nativity set to be fired in the Pottery kiln. And I'm hosting our women's group Xmas Craft-Tea again this year- it's in two weeks so we're playing with ideas in anticipation. Do check out thrifty Christmas for lots of ideas.

In memoriam

2011-11-21T15:01:00.001Z

A year has passed since a tragedy shook our local community. Barely a day goes by when I do not think of dear Una, who on one November morning lost her husband and two precious daughters. Each time I see her family I ask for her, even though I have never met her. Each time I pass her house where her dear children died, I pray for her. Each time I pass the spot where her husband crashed his car, I pray for them all.

For months the spot was charred, black and barren - a gaping hole of pain made physical, a constant reminder for the whole community of the pain of one woman and her whole family. I thought many times about going and planting some bulbs, some shoots of life, hope and colour in the burnt out hillside. But it was not my space to desecrate.

But then one day in early summer, I drove past and the bank was a blaze of colour. Planted by someone, I know not who. Perhaps the family, perhaps the community council. A sign of renewal for Una, for the community who mourn still.

May flowers grow for you again dear Una, may your life blossom in unforseen ways, may miracles find you. May love be with you everywhere you go.

Last year's post:

For Una, and all who grieve,

I send you a prayer with every breath. I cannot begin to comprehend your pain, the scale of your loss.

The storm winds of the mother soul howled around this house last night, and every other house in the area, the tears of God raining down upon us as we battened down our hatches and sent continual prayers that you are finding peace and comfort somehow. We are counting and recounting our own blessings with every prayer. Wishing we could transfer them to you.

Words cannot begin to express the sense of deep, deep sadness that every mother and father in our community feels at this moment. We hold our own, dear children closely to us, as though we can immunize them and ourselves from suffering and pain through our tiny, repeated act of love, wishing, wishing that this would bring your children back to you.

We wake to a blue sky, the rays of sunshine promising hope. But the mood is dark and sombre. The usual school gate chatter is gone. Even the playground is eerily quiet. We are united in your pain: we are all one.

We want to talk but talking changes nothing. Nor does the news. It is like scratching an itch, it momentarily makes things feel better, and then worse. The facts are not what we want. We seek to find a way through the shock, the senselessness, the destructive possibilities of the human spirit. The knife edge of normality which we unknowingly walk along every day and which disaster can shatter in an instant. As I feed our chickens and empty our bins, I wish you the soothing tedium of mundanity.

The mother soul is grieving for one of its own. Know that we are united around you, though you cannot see us or may not know us. We hold the space for you, for you to be as you need, in this moment. We open our Madonna's cloaks, fall into their soft folds, let us hold you and croon you a lullaby to soothe you into sleep and the momentary forgetfulness that it will bring, let us wail together, let us wash you clean of your pain in our tears, let us feed you and hold you as you cry and scream and rage and then lie silent.

I pray that you might find life after death. Someday, somehow.

With love, deepest love, dear Una and all your family.

Count your calories! ... but not the way you might think

2011-11-20T13:10:00.001Z

So this is The Year of Enough...
Last week's "homework" was to make a list of everything you do in a day.

So you wrote everything down, right.

Or did you?

Have a little look over your list. Did you put in all the emotional stuff that you did that day? Chances are you forgot it... because "it doesn't count" right? It doesn't count in the real world, it doesn't make you any money... but it DOES count because it takes your life energy just as much, if not more!

So look over your list and write down every major emotional interaction you had too, so

Comforting a sad child
Dealing with a tantrum or argument
Consoling a distraught friend
Helping your sister with her financial worries
Worrying about a major life change
Having an altercation with a man in a car park
Having some couple time with your partner

Positive or negative it's all your energy which is being used.

And don't forget "passive" activities, such as commuting, talking on the phone, even watching TV... And minding kids for a day or be in work is worth 100 basic points before you add in the specifics!

So now you have your full list of where your energy went in one day.

Now to "count your calories"

Just like in a diet program you count your calories (energy parcels) to see how much you're taking in. In this exercise you are counting your energy parcels that you are giving out. (Please note these are not actual calories - I am just using the term to make you aware of the energy impact of your day.)

The scoring system

Any action - emotional or physical which lasted 30 mins or less in your day = 50 calories

Any action which took particular

concentration,
stress or
took over 30 mins receives double points= 100 calories

Add 250 calories for each of the following

have a full time job (including being a full time mother),
have a baby under 1,
are breastfeeding
are pregnant or undergoing IVF
are being woken more than twice a night,
have an illness or disability
are caring for someone sick
are a single parent, your partner is working away or working late

Any deeply stressful, once in a lifetime event - a birth, death, imminent divorce, hospitalisation, major illness or hospitalisation = 500 calories a day

So add up your points. What did you get? This is how much energy you are using in a day... (for a worked example see mine at the bottom).

As with calories, an average, sustainable day would be between 1300-2000 points, depending on your energy levels, level of support, your enjoyment of what you're doing, and a good self care regime etc.

Anywhere over 2500 is unsustainable on a regular basis - you need to get more support, simplify your daily routine, off load commitment.

Now obviously, this is totally unscientific. But if you do this for a few days you will get a sense of:

How much energy you are using over a day.
Whether you are front loading it or spreading your energy use evenly over a day.
What events are recurring on a daily basis which you could consolidate, or avoid all together?
Where is your energy going?
Where is it leaking being drained?
Where could you choose to use it differently?

In short, where does it point to you how to sustain your own energy-use levels and apply the law of Enough in your life.

I'd love to hear your responses...

Example: My day's total was: 2250

250 -have a full time job (including being a full time mother)
250 -are breastfeeding
250 -are being woken more than twice a night,
250- baby with a cold
50 -Car journeying

50 -Filled out my 75 things I want to do in 2012
50 -Did a high speed local grocery shop
50- Made all three kids breakfast and minded three all day
50- Checked my email and wrote some
50-Finished and promoted my blog post for Dreaming Aloud, and another blog
50-Did JUNO correspondence
50- Created a dinosaur scrap book with Timmy using Google images
50-Got the kids to help me tidy their room
50-Played musical statues with them
50- Got us all dressed
50-Fed the chickens and Fed us all lunch
50-Emptied and filled the dishwasher
50-Did a little house tidying
50-Got three kids out of the house with shoes, coats and snacks
50-Recycled 7 bags of clothes
50-Took Meli to the nurse
50-Got clay from the pottery - made a labyrinth and a sculpture
50-Checked emails and Facebook - helped promote a friend's event
100-Made supper for all tonight and for tomorrow
50- Brought in yesterdays washing and hung up in side
100 -Kids bedtime
50-TV and Wrote my list!

Joy Pockets

2011-11-18T16:20:00.001Z

Joining up with Mon over at Holistic Mama to celebrate our weekly Joy Pockets.

My gratitudes this week include...

Fluffy slippers

Making clay angels

An email from Steve Biddulph

A disappearance of tantrums

Two whole tea house writing days – 15hours child free!!!

A finished draft of my Celebrating MoonTime e-book

Watching a kestrel battle the stormwinds over the bog

Pear and cardamon cake

Happy days with kiddies and friends

Rediscovering the joys of Aldi's snacksection!

A job well done!

And you, dear Dreamer, I hope you had a lovely week. What are your joy pockets? Please do share them below.

Hello little voice...

2011-11-17T18:05:00.001Z

A full day of work today. Productivecontentment and focus in the storm tossed tea house.

And yet I noted when I was writing, alittle voice in my head was my constant companion. It was alwaysthere and just kept saying over and over “But THIS doesn'tcount...”

Haha! Hello little voice! What's thatyou say?

Writing an ebook doesn't count –because I might not make any money from it

Proofreading a brochure I'm gettingpaid for doesn't count – because it's easy

Spell checking and working on layoutfor my ebook doesn't count because it's just admin

Reading the Business Goddess bookdoesn't count

And lunch certainly doesn't count...

And this doesn't count, because it'sjust a blog post. And not even the post I was supposed to be writing.And aren't I lazy for not having posted anything for over 24 hours.

And it got me thinking – what DOEScount for my little voice? What DOES it find acceptable?

Dear little voice. What do you want andwhere did you come from? Why are you so hard on me? I work very, veryhard. I do work that I love with dedication. I endeavor to bring joy,goodness and learning into the world. I love my family very much anddo my best by them. But still you scoff and scorn and chastise andbeat me with your stick throughout my busy days.

Dear little voice in my head, this isthe Year of Enough. Take a rest, you must be tired.

A Community ... for Kids

2011-11-14T19:51:00.001Z

I have always hated the idea of living on a housing estate. Too many neighbours, too close for comfort, identikit houses, and not our sort of people. No siree, not for me. And certainly not for my kids. They need a vast lawn. And a wood and meadows to run wild in. Perhaps a pony! Certainly an acre of organic veggie garden. And mama needs her own private glade for naked moonlight dancing and other mad notions!

But reality and finances mean that in order to live where we want to live, we needed to live on an estate.

And you know what?

I am so glad we do.

If only for one reason (though in reality there are many!). It is perfect for the kids. We live at the end of a loop-the-loop cul-de-sac, and so our children have a veritable runway of tarmac all to themselves, with a massive patch of grass besides.

So, rather than me driving here, there and everywhere arranging play dates and after school activities, they head out the back door and there they have friends. A pack of them to run about with. They range from 18 months to 10 and all take part according to their ability. They play on bikes and trikes, skate boards and push along tractors. They play catch, draw in chalk on the pavement, collect caterpillar and grasshoppers, create elaborate mausoleums for deceased rodents which could rival the Taj Mahal and invent endless espionage games which usually end in tears. There is a lot of water play too, which always seems to take place in our garden - it seems that mud, gravel, stones and a hose can provide hours of illicit fun!

I feel so good knowing that they are out there creating their own little community of neighbours, another generation of connections being made. But where we mums and dads make it over cups of coffee and borrowed sugar, they make theirs over ice lollies and worms.

If you are interested in making this happen in your own neighbourhood, I have just discovered a new initiative www.playingout.net which aims to promote and support kids playing outside together, helping communities to create safe spaces within their neighbourhoods for free play. Do check out this innovative website - even if just to revel in the pavement painting design. Let's help to get our children playing outside together.

And check out the winter edition of JUNO magazine for an interview with Tim Gill about supporting children and outside play.

This post has been written as a contribution to The Big Lunch blog. The Big Lunch is an annual community event held in early June each year in the UK and Ireland where communities come together to eat and celebrate.

This doesn't count... The Year of Enough

2011-11-11T15:18:00.001Z

Do you ever find yourself telling yourself this...

This extra chocolate biscuit (or three) doesn't count
This work doesn't count - because I enjoy it/ do it in my spare time/ don't get paid for it- (I do this for my blog, my JUNO work - in fact most of my work)
Kids leftovers don't count as calories, nor does any food destined for the rubbish bin... or eaten standing up at the fridge or in the car whilst driving
Mothering/caring/ volunteering doesn't count (so I don't deserve to be tired)

What don't you count? And what effect does it have on your health and happiness? I notice when I don't make things count I overload myself - because of all the bits which are real, in the real world, which I have struck off in my head as being "not real".

Are you with me? Do you do this?

So my simple conclusion is, if we are aiming for enough -which we are - given that this is officially The Year of Enough and we are getting real about our energy and material inputs and out puts - then we need to count our beans properly.

So I am proposing a little experiment.

At the end of today list EVERYTHING you did. The opposite of a "to do" list, this is a done list. (See my Mothering Badge of Honour post for an example of what I'm talking about. Or see PS below!) Or if you are struggling with eating then list everything you ate and drank.

Now look at this list. Appreciate everything you have put your energy into. Don't beat yourself up at what you haven't done or should have done, or did badly. So, if you cooked dinner, then you cooked dinner - no qualifiers. It doesn't matter (at this moment) if the kids/ your partner didn't EAT it. You COOKED it. So give yourself credit. That was a use of your life energy, it counts, so acknowledge it. Be mindfully aware about how you have used your unique energy, and, even if just for today, give yourself credit.

This is step one, I will be sharing step two later in the week for making your life count, as part of the Year of Enough. Do please share your insights and observations here with us all.

P.S My list for today...

Today I...
Woke up early with baby after a night breastfeeding a baby with a cold
Filled out my 75 things I want to do in 2012
Did a high speed local grocery shop
Made all three kids breakfast and minded three all day
Checked my email and wrote some
Finished and promoted my blog post for Dreaming Aloud, and another blog
Did JUNO correspondence
Tried to fix the printer
Created a dinosaur scrap book with Timmy using Google images
Got the kids to help me tidy their room
Played musical statues with them
Got us all dressed
Fed the chickens
Fed us all lunch
Emptied and filled the dishwasher
Did a little house tidying
Got three kids out of the house with shoes, coats and snacks
Recycled 7 bags of clothes
Took Meli to the nurse
Got clay from the pottery - made a labyrinth and a sculpture
Checked emails and Facebook - helped promote a friend's event
Made supper for all tonight and for tomorrow
Brought in yesterdays washing and hung up in side
Did a load of washing and hung up inside
Put baby to bed
Wrote my list!

Something for the weekend

2011-11-11T11:14:00.001Z

It's alright to turn up empty-handed... with a full, open heart.
Empty your head, stop trying so hard. Stop, open, be. End of!

This is what came to me during my 11/11/11 meditation. Quite good advice - so I thought I'd share it! I hope you managed to take some time to just be at 11 on Friday morning, or perhaps to reflect in the full moon light this week.

This has been a full week at Dreaming Aloud. So if you've missed anything I invite you to check out this week's very popular posts:
Full moon Rising - November -reflects on 11/11/11 and how to engage with the moon cycles
Yearning for A Simple Life - where I fantasise about living in a zen space and show you round the tea house.
The Year of Enough Starts here - on how I decided to start my New year's resolution in November and commit to enough on every level. Will you join our band of Dreamers in committing to enough in your life?
Taste A Memory - as part of this month's Carnival of Natural Parenting on food and children, I share why it's so important to leave my culinary legacy to my children
Joy Pockets - this week's gratitudes - do share yours!

And the blogoversary winner was announced. Do check out the Dreaming Aloud Facebook page to see the picture of the MASSIVE stash of Pukka teas that the lucky Claire from Free Your Parenting won!

Joy pockets

2011-11-11T08:20:00.001Z

My gratitudes for the week...

Rejuvenating the autumn wreath with auburn dock seeds, fairy apples and ruby rose hips

My female friendships - Paula, Becky, Mary, Leigh, Tracy...

An impromptu breakfast party with my new neighbour friend

A wonderful winter edition of JUNO waiting to be read... sorry, proof-read!

The scent of freshly baked granola pervading my home - vanilla, cinnamon, maple - yum!

Clear, uncluttered surfaces - hurray me!

Snuggling in our cosy warm bed with our three kiddies listening to the storm winds blow, knowing we are safe, warm and full of love.

The tea house.

Belonging to a global circle of moondancing wonder women!

Eating better - lots of fresh fruit and veg feels GOOD!

A big potential new word smith client - came to me dontcha know! (wish me luck for this morning's meeting!)

You, my commenting tribe of blog readers - you add so much joy to my life. Thank you!

And you, dear Dreamer, what are your joy pockets for the week?
Joining up with Mon over at Holistic Mama

Full moon rising - November

2011-11-10T08:45:00.000Z

So we are rocketing towards 11/11/11. In true human style, people are getting excited about the day with the triplet date. Mayan elders have been crossing the width of the US with 13 ancient crystal skulls, between the last day of the Mayan calendar (October 28th) and 11/11/11. Some are claiming it as a portal date of a new era, or a transition time - see this post on From the Wetware if this is your sort of thing. Do you have any wisdom you can share on this date or is it all a load of hoo-haa? (see comments section below for events going on at 11:11, 11/11/11).

But dates aside, tonight is full moon. Do you celebrate full moon? Mark it in your diary? Plant by it? Find your children go a little loopy? Does it affect your menstrual cycle in any way?

I have found that my own cycle is now totally aligned with the moon's phases. I ovulate at full moon and my creative energy surges at this time. I find this energy enhanced by going and being outside in the moon light - to recharge my intuitive/ creative energies. (For last month's full moon post see here). It really is quite mystical and magical. If you haven't tried this yet, perhaps you will tonight?

My dear friend Becky Jaine of Monkey Chi, Monkey Do, is coordinating another Full Moon Circle. You may remember we started doing this back in August. I extend the invitation to you...

"This is a special invitation to a Sacred Full Moon Circle to honor the November Full Moon and celebrate each other and our life's intentions. This month's Circle will focus upon Renewal: renewing our commitments and intentions that serve our bodies, minds, spirits and our purposes on Earth.

This November's Full Moon offers tremendous powers to help us reconnect and reignite an intense focus on our most important intentions in our lives, our calling and our purpose on Earth. We each can renew our commitments to how we wish to live and create our lives. If this speaks to you, please take a few moments this week to write down your closest heart's desires and intentions. Feel free to share here, to create more energy around your intentions and help one another by collective focus, and thinking of each other's aspirations during our Moondance. This will increase our personal power and help to draw and create our intentions for each other.

It really doesn't matter WHEN we do it, OR if you can see even see Mother Moon. She's there, rain, clouds, full whether appearing to our eyes or not.

Together we dance under the moonlight and create energy around renewal and intentions. If you want to actively join us, list your name and location on our beautiful planet, and your intentions for renewal (if you like) we'll be sure to keep you in our minds and hearts."

For some beautiful moon poetry follow this link!

The Year of Enough starts here...

2011-11-09T14:28:00.003Z

I wrote a couple of days ago of wantingto live a simple life, in the tea house. I tried to think practicallyhow much of our stuff that we could live without. That was quite easyuntil I got to a clothes line and bike shed and all the stuff thatcomes with daily life that would inevitably clutter up a zen space.

But maybe that's the problem.

We seek to possess or inhabit somethingso that we might embody its qualities that we admire... and yet inthe act of possession or inhabitation, we bring our own mess, our ownbaggage with us, and the object of our affections becomes sullied inour eyes.

Bugger it, the Buddhists are right again – I am clinging,this is attachment. It will and can only lead to suffering.

There is another way. Just to hold andenjoy and release, rather than possess. I guess the thought birdpractice is a good one for cultivating the mindset of peace and clarity, to learn to embody these qualities within myself, ratherthan seeking to grasp them outside of myself.

I have recommited myself to “The Yearof Enough”. After all, this is stil 2011, and it is never too lateto start again. We can always recommit ourselves in the endless Now.

And so I have started shifting junk –again! Ripped children's books, plastic containers, cardboard boxes,medicine bottles with only a teaspoon of syrup left, endlesschildren's drawings – gone. Odd socks and unworn pants – gone.The top that makes me feel fat and has a hole in the sleeve, eventhough it's practical – gone! Bags of hand-me-down clothes waitingfor “what if”... going. The surfaces are clear - ahhhhhhhhhhhhh that feels good! My house is transforming into one big zen space!

I realise that I have many cloggingpatterns which I have inherited and nurtured: in my body, myemotional life and my home. These include:

Waste not want not... – so Ieat more than I need, including the kids left overs.

Waste not want not... – hangon to it because it might be useful some time – scraps of fabric, aripped book, bits of string, used elastic bands, an extra, extracoat, that-little-plastic-thingy-that-no-one-quite-knows-what-it-does-or-where-it-comes-from-but-it-might-come-in-handy...

Comfort fullness – I like thefeeling of being contentedly full – until it overwhelms me and Ifeel bloated – in my body and in my house. I don't like feelingempty/ hungry/ in need – I like to be set up for the day/ for life.I am a good Girl Guide and I like to “be prepared”

Taking on other's stuff – ifpeople chuck stuff out, they come to me to see if I want it – thisway I keep myself and the kids in clothes for free... but I also geta lot of stuff that we don't need, that I'm not very good at moving onand moving out, so I keep it for just in case... in bags, in corners,that children unpack and scatter around and get attached to. Bewareother serial hoarders - they try off-loading their stuff on you sothey don't feel bad about getting rid of it!

Taking on other's stuff mentally.I'm good at this one too – you have a problem, I'll get upseton your behalf, I'll get agitated for you, I'll worry and cook youmeals and get really involved. Until I end up spending more energy onyour life than mine. Then I get really tired. And don't shift my ownstuff. So it builds up...again!

Buying more stuff – because I reallybelieve that we “need” this, that this is “different”, thatthis is a good deal or will bring greater happiness, that THIS isn'ttoo much, it's all the other stuff that is bad... and the problem is,sometimes I'm right... and then a lot of the time I'm wrong

Mental dread – I prefer to getcaught up in head stuff (reading/ writing/ TV) to avoid the “pain”of tidying and shifting stuff on a daily basis – this is partlaziness, and part the drudgery of not again, please God, not again Ifeel tired from the last time I washed up/ tidied/ sorted stuff. Iexperience tidying and sorting stuff as energy depleting, not energybuilding. And a waste of time. Not the real stuff of life, just amonotonous bind which I resent.

Mental dread – I can plan theperfect healthy eating regime – but doing it – no siree, I getcaught up in the head stuff

Do you recognise yourself in any of these?

I can see the roots back into my own unique childhood – child of divorced parents, often very lean parental incomes, being told not to waste food, wanting to assert this is how much I eat, that I deserve to take up space...

With the amount of diet books and decluttering books on the market, I know I am by no means alone in this. I recognise the teachings of the Buddha, the words of Jesus about the lilies of the field... to be human is to struggle with worries about if we have enough, of how to deal healthily with the material world - without hoarding, anxiety, greed...

I recognise that my habits are built on faultybeliefs...

That hanging on to stuff will make mehappy

That fundamentally everything will NOTbe OK, so I need to be as prepared as I can for impending disaster

Sugary food/ pretty clothes/ anotherbook... make life easier to cope with

That I am not enough, not goodenough...

That stuffing myself fuller and fullerwill make everything safer, better, happier

That feeling full is better than feeling my feelings

That tomorrow is a better day fordealing with shit

That I am too tired

That I can't face it

That I mustn't say no or be ungrateful

That if I don't take it/ eat it thisopportunity is gone for ever... and I'll regret it. So take it just incase

I am scared of being hungry or withoutwhat I need

Waste is bad

Not knowing how much I actually needrather than want

Believing the voices in my head,letting them dominate

Believing on a deep level that stuff isbetter than space

But all these are just beliefs and open to examination.

And so here I sit, in the tea house,grateful that I am here, now. Not wishing away my home as it is. Notfantasising about living here. Just writing these words with the sunrising higher in the sky over the light house, the sea shimmering,migrating ducks flying in over the bog. I am here... letting go.

Awareness is the first step. The nextis action. Both are happening here.

Our fridge is full of fruit and veg and I am really focusing on creating lighter health filled meals and snacks. Our surfaces are clear, and I am rededicating myself to sustaining it with joy! I'm practicing saying no and monitoring how much I take on. This is the Year of Enough, starting here, and now. Away with overwhelm. Away with bloatedness. Welcome enough. Welcome natural balance and abundance.

Where are you at with this? Will you join me at re-dedicating yourself to enough before the winter blowout of Thanksgiving and Christmas? Let us shed our "too much" just as the trees are shedding their leaves. Let us enter the winter bare and simple. Let us celebrate the winter holiday season in mindfulness.

Taste a memory

2011-11-08T09:18:00.000Z

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids in the Kitchen
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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If I can leave my children one legacy, it will be that they can cook. It won't be me who teaches them to fix a puncture or start a fire with just sticks. But I will ensure that they graduate from my care able to not only sustain themselves, but thrive with flair and health, woo potential partners and entertain future friends.

For me cooking and good food is my heritage, it runs in my blood, and not to pass this on to my children would be a failure at the most basic level.

One incident crystalised this intention for me, long before I had children of my own. A flatmate I had at University, on her first day alone in her own house, finally a grown up out on her own in the world, came towards me, grasping a potato as though it were an alien life form, and asked, in all seriousness, "how do I cook this?"

Cooking is not a moral imperative - you can survive or thrive on a raw diet, on ready meals, or on a family who cooks for you. But like learning to drive it gives you freedom, like learning to sing, it gives you creative expression.

My children cook with me pretty much every day - cupcakes, cookies, pizza, fruit salad, mushroom soup, bread, popcorn - these are our favourite things to cook - and eat - together. Chopping, mixing, whisking, kneading, rubbing - my children have cooked alongside me since they were old enough to hold a spoon.

I remember like it was yesterday the first thing I cooked all by myself. The crisp juiciness of the apple sprinkled with sugar and the revelation for my seven-year-old self: nutmeg! With its almost citrusy exotic Christmas smell, its tiny wood shavings snowing down from the mini-grater onto the virginal white apple pieces beneath. I have never eaten it before or since. But it was the taste not only of a new flavour sensation, but of freedom, of creativity, of feeding myself my way.

My son experienced this this summer aged just five. He snuck off one evening whilst we were out in the garden, to make a tray of his very own recipe Rose Lemonade, to serve to the whole family. He then set up a stall outside his room with a hand written "Open/closed" sign and a tray of drinks to "sell". This, I know, will stay with him until adulthood - the taste of a memory, that he created all by himself.
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon November 8 with all the carnival links.)

Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter's suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
"Mommy, Can I Help?" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
The Adventure of Toddler Tastebuds — The Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food - it's a classroom!
Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn't cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa's making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
Kids won't eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children's favourite salad recipe.
Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What's Next? panicks about passing on her food "issues" to her offspring.
Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster? — MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family's relationship with food.
learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M's first adventures with food.
The Night My 7-Year-Old Made Dinner — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares how her 7-year-old daughter surprised everyone by turning what started as an idea to play restaurant into pulling off making supper for her family.
Cooking With a High-Needs Toddler — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how Montessori-inspired activities and a bit of acceptance have helped her overcome hurdles in cooking while caring for a "high-needs" child.
Kids in the Kitchen – teaching healthy food choices — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her belief in the importance of getting kids into the kitchen using her favorite cookbook for kids to develop healthy food choices now and hopefully into the future.
Make Milk, Not War — Tamara at Tea for Three remembers the daily food fights as she struggled to feed a picky eater.
teaching baby birds about good food. — Sarah at Small Bird on Fire writes about the ways in which her family chooses to gently teach their son how to make wise food decisions.
5 Ways to Enhance Your Baby or Young Toddler's Relationship with Food — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares simple ways to give your child a healthy beginning to her lifelong relationship with food.
Toddler at the Table: 10 Creative Solutions — Moorea at Mamalady shares tips for preventing meal-time power struggles.
How My Child Takes Responsibility During His Mealtime... — Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy shares how she teaches and encourages her 32 months old son on adopting good manners and responsibilities during his mealtimes...
Kids in the Kitchen: 6 Tips Plus a Recipe — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares six tips for overcoming some of the the difficulties of cooking with multiple young sous chefs, and a recipe they all can agree on!
How BLW has made me a better parent — Zoe at Mummykins shares how baby-led weaning has changed her approach to parenting.
My Budding Chef — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom is no cook but is happy that her daughter has shown an inclination and manages to whip up yummy goodies for their family.
Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age — Gaby from Tmuffin describes how she keeps her kids busy in the kitchen, whether they are one week old or two years old.
The Phantastically Mutlipurposed Phyllo — Ana at Pandamoly shares how Phyllo is used to create enticing dishes at home! Anything can be made into a Struedel!
Kitchen Kids — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen shares her children's most favorite recipe to make, experience and eat.
Independence vs. Connection in the Kitchen: won't you please get yourself your own snack already? — Lisa at Organic Baby Atlanta wishes her daughter would just go make a mess in the kitchen. But her daughter only wants to do it together.
Grandma Rose's Kitchen — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter reminisces about her childhood and dreams of filling her kitchen with people, love, noise, and messes.
Healthy Food Choices for Kids — Jorje offers one way to encourage children to make their own healthy food choices at MommaJorje.com.
Cooking food to thrive rather than survive — Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales is trying to foster a lifetime of good food habits by teaching her children about the importance of avoiding junk, cooking healthy meals, and learning about the whole food process.
Evolution of a self-led eater — Sheila at A Gift Universe shares the story of how her son grew from nursing around the clock to eating everything in sight, without her having to push.
10 Ways Tiny Helps In The Kitchen — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama explores the ways in which her toddler actively participates in kitchen-related activities.
The Complexity of Feeding a Child — Feeding children a healthy diet is no straight-forward task, but Lisa at My World Edenwild shares some general guidelines to help your child thrive.
Lactation Cookies — That Mama Gretchen shares a fun recipe that will benefit both mamas and babies!
50 of the Best Books, Websites, & Resources to Inspire Kids in the Kitchen — Need inspiration to get your kids in the kitchen? Dionna at Code Name: Mama rounds up some of the best books and websites that can serve as a source for ideas, recipes, and cooking with littles fun.
A 4-year-old's smoothie recipe — Jen at Grow With Graces and her son set out to make a smoothie without the usual ingredients. She let him improvise. See how it turned out.
Independent Food Preparation (My Toddler Can Do That?) — Megan at Montessori Moments shares simple ways for children to prepare their own healthy snacks.
Follow Your Gut — Amy at Anktangle shares her philosophy about intuitive eating, and how she's trying to foster her son's trust in his own inner wisdom when he feels hungry.
A TODDLER-STYLE LUNCH + RECIPE — Manic Mrs. Stone photographs how to have messy fun during lunchtime with a helpful toddler.
Taste a memory — Lucy at Dreaming Aloudshares why teaching her kids to cook is her legacy.

And the winner is...

2011-11-07T12:56:00.003Z

Well we had 55 entries
So we went old-school and cut up 55 little pieces of paper and wrote your names on them!

You had a very serious draw mistress who takes no nonsense!

An the winner of the year's supply of Pukka and the jar of Shatavari is...

Drum roll please....

That is, for those without X Ray vision, FYP, Free Your Parenting, which is edited by a lovely lady called Clare, who is based (I think) in the UK. So FYP drop me an email (pearcelucy @ yahoo.co.uk) and let me know your postal address and I shall pass it on to Pukka!

Congratulations Clare and enjoy!!

And now for the Favourite Comment Award. I'm sorry, I chickened out, I couldn't pick. So into a second hat go MF, Kirily, Loo, Laura, Andra, Anna and Zoe... in real time

And the winner of the needlefelted pouch and selection of Pukka teas goes to...

Really and truly, by complete and utter random chance, my dear, dear friend and ally who has nourished and sustained me over the year, even though we have yet to meet in real life... a true soul sister... the one and only... Mother Funker - who hangs out here http://feetonthegroundandheadintheclouds.blogspot.com/ It is with great delight I will pop that in the post to you tomorrow xx

A deep yearning for less...a tea house dream

2011-11-06T16:05:00.000Z

So many people, myself included on one level, crave for more, more, more. It is the driving force and message of our society: the promise of more and better. I remember when we were planning to build our own house the plans just kept getting bigger and bigger, with a room for this and that added by the day.

This year I allocated "the Year of Enough". Enough racing about, enough trying to do too much, enough buying stuff. Yet here we are in November, and nothing has changed. What creates most discord in my life is tidying up endless mess and being deeply distressed by the level of chaos in our house - caused by too much stuff. With kids come stuff and, scarily, we are not particularly materialistic. Nor is our house particularly big. But on every surface is stuff and more stuff. And it exhausts me. It is messy, excessive, unnecessary. I yearn to be free of it.

We were down by the thatched Japanese tea house in the woods of my father's house today, where we were married seven years ago, and where I now work, and a real fantasy formed in my head.

What if we were to live there? That for me would be heaven. And it would force me to down size. Force us to simplfiy. We lived in a 7 foot by 5 foot room in Japan for a year with roll up futons and a small shared bathroom, kitchen and living room and we were so happy. There is so much about the Japanese way of living that we loved, so much that we miss - including the open air hot bathing pools.

The tea house is one big Zen space. It could only be lived in uncluttered. It's about 12 foot square with a 3 foot by 12 foot space behind for a shower/ kitchen, and sleeping platform above. It looks out over the bog, the sea, the island. You see the sunrise and set, the moon over the water. You hear the wind in the trees. You are always immersed in nature, in the seasons and the magic of the natural world. But you are warm and cosy and safe. Beside it we would have a compost toilet and the outdoor hot tub we dream of, and of course a little herb patch. It would be a Japanese life in an Irish wood, uniting all that we love.

We would simplify, simplify, simplify - live lighter in every way. There would be no worry about each child having a room - no one would have a bedroom! It would demand us to be uncluttered.

And then I think - but would you change? Don't "what if", start from where you are - down size here. Unclutter here. But here we live in a normal house, one which demands furniture and has space to be filled. I cannot get my head around getting rid of lots of stuff here. Then it would just feel too austere, because we live a different way here.Oh how wonderful a thought the tea house life is... the children dreamed with us... it would be a simple life, one closely attached to the seasons, living in a place which is secluded yet in the village. In a beautifully handcrafted space, with cedar floors and underfloor heating, a thatched roof. Like a modern yurt.

We would need less money to live on, so the sense of "need to earn" would diminish yet another level. I cannot imagine it being viable for the next four years or so, it would not be a fun existence with little energetic children with lots of toys. But when they are all at school, that bit bigger...

I trust in the magic which happens when visions are articulated clearly. I trust in the magic of putting it out there. Dream with me!

Joy Pockets

2011-11-04T16:12:00.004Z

This week's gratitudes...

Post Halloween dinner - all three food groups - fish, veg... and smarties!
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Autumn leaves - 31 years of seeing them and they're still so awe-inspiringly beautiful

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Creating the happy womb. com - just the name makes me feel good

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Daily book deliveries

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My first day of work - a warm up of yoga, drumming, singing and tarot, followed by 3 blissful hours of writing in my soul space (beginning an e-book on celebrating meaningful moon time)

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The goddess circle - daily inspiration for my creative but vulnerable spirit

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Celebrating abundance and the constant opening up of possibilities

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Visiting a soul sister, and her children, my little ones' soul cousins

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Needlefelting a pouch for my favourite comment in the blogoversary giveaway- filled with a selection of Pukka teas - (the mini giveaway is open worldwide!)

Less than 48 hours till my mega Pukka giveaway closes (the big giveaway excludes US/ Canada)- do enter if you haven't already!

What are your joy pockets this week? Do link them up or share in the comments below.

Because I love you...

2011-11-03T09:32:00.000Z

Because I love you, I want to share all the goodness in the world with you
Because I love you, I want to wrap my arms around you and tell you it will be alright
Because I love you, I want you to be happy to the tips of your fingers
Because I love you, I want to share my cake with you
Because I love you, I want you to care for yourself as the most precious possession
Because I love you, I share this with you...

This morning the weekly goddess circle e-zine popped into my inbox. In it was an e-book - Message from the Angels - beautiful words, precious images, created with love. It lifted me, and I deeply want to share it with you all. But I can't, unless you choose it for yourself. And that, you see, is the rule of life. We have to let goodness into our own hearts. We have to help to co-create magic. It's all there, just there within your grasp - but you have to reach it yourself.

For the record I am not big into goddesses and angels myself. But goodness, love beauty, celebration, inspiration, support, creativity, practical tools - it's all in the goddess circle, the e-courses and books, in bucketloads. I cannot begin to express what wonders it has helped me create in my life this year. And that, that is what I want for you too.

I KNOW it costs money. I know you might not be sure. But please, dear one, if you are at all curious, if you feel a pull in you, do come and join me in the goddess circle.

What's in a name?

2011-11-02T19:52:00.002Z

So, dear reader, I realised that I never shared with you how I got my name. Dreaming Aloud, I mean! Like all good names, there's a story to it.

When I started to write a column for JUNO magazine, I needed a name. A name which summed up my way of writing, my fluid prose style, my meandering living philosophy, my desire to ponder... and to inspire.

A few months earlier when I was pregnant with my second child, I was training with Pam England, founder of Birthing from Within, on one of her rare trips to London. She told a story which stayed with me.

She said that a certain tribe of Native American people used to ask each other "what are you dreaming?" Meaning what is going on in your life, your thoughts, your head. She said that we all take our lives so seriously and believe in the reality of them. But actually we are all just dreaming our dreams. What we think is reality is just our own dream. The reason we often do not see eye to eye with another is that we are each dreaming the meaning of the situation, dreaming our relationship differently. And once we can see that we are dreaming, once we can acknowledge this, then we can begin to awaken ourselves to reality as it is. And we begin to take ourselves a little less seriously, and understand others a little more, when we have the compassion of the dreamer.

We can begin to dream lucidly, to dream bigger and brighter, to dream in technicolour, to change the channel, to choose another dream.

And so Dreaming Aloud was born. A place for dreaming better visions of the world. A place to dream my own dreams out loud. The column has existed in JUNO since Spring 2009 and on line for a year this Saturday.

Dream on!

An Experiment to Change the World

2011-11-01T09:09:00.001Z

I am very excited to share with you this month's issue of Wild Sister magazine which focuses on Gratitude; how to cultivate it, really feel it, share it, and live it.

You may remember me raving about it when I discovered it last month. Full of beautiful artwork, photography, inspiring, uplifting women's words...

Well the editor, Jen, contacted me and asked if I could contribute to this month's issue on Gratitude.

So of course I said yes!

Mine is the cover- "An Experiment to Change the World"

Visit their website via my blog to check it out for yourself, it costs you the same - and that way I get paid for my contribution! And whilst you're there, why not take advantage of their super deal on back issues - I did and LOVED it!

Click here to visit Wild Sister.

Of witches and wise women

2011-10-31T14:35:00.002Z

At this time of witches, wizards, goblins and ghosties, I was reflecting on what I would dress up as. I always dress up as a witch. You know the rigmarole: black dress, pointy hat, big nose, ugly facial warts and a broomstick.

And this year I thought, actually, NO! No, I am not going to perpetuate this misogynistic myth.

I am not a witch, though it occurs to me every so often, that in a different time or place, I would probably be condemned as one. Let's consider the evidence:
I do not go to church nor follow any religious dogma
I dance in the moon light
When I moved into the Pink House the first thing I did was plant a herb patch
I use said herbs for healing
I perform many rituals and ceremonies
And have a healthy respect and curiousity for the unknown realms of life
I wear what I want, say what I want and have little respect for authority
I counsel women in natural ways of managing their fertility and birthing
I dedicate my life's work to empowering other women
I run a women's circle which a (male) friend refers to as the coven

The myth of the witch actually bothers me. It is a demonisation of an empowered, empowering woman, of woman's power to commune with the unseen, to use her healing powers, her visioning skills, her connection to the natural world and her ability to co-create with the universe.

For the record may I state that I am not a witch, and there is much of it which doesn't chime with me. But I know many witches, Wiccans and pagans in the online sphere, and at drama school shared a house with one and classes with two others..

When I told my children that I used to live with a witch, their eyes went round with excitement. Did she wear black? They wanted to know. Well, no. Did she have a broomstick? No, but she was a dab hand with a mop. So she didn't fly? Nope she went by bike. Did she have a cauldron, a black cat? No and no. Well then she's not a witch, they said.

But she was. Both by name and by nature. With a woman it's not what she wears or carries that makes her a wise woman or a witch, it is the power she carries inside, the power to transform herself and her world. This, this is what I own. And so for our halloween party I dressed as a rainbow gipsy - alluring, mystical, empowered and colourful... all woman!

Blogoversary Giveaway!

2011-10-28T15:40:00.002+01:00

I am celebrating one year of the Dreaming Aloud blog!
Oh what a journey it has been! And oh how wonderful it has been to share it with you all. I couldn't have guessed how much brighter and fuller my would become as a blogger. I have so appreciated your support, your insight and enthusiasm over the past year. Dreaming Aloud would not be what it is without you all. Over the next few days I shall be reflecting on the year... and looking forwards to what my new writing year holds...But for now, to say thank you, I have the most super-dee-dooper giveaway...

My very favourite purveyors of herbal delights (in the most bee-you-ti-ful packaging around). Pukka is my tea of choice here at the Pink House, as all my friends know! Which is why I wanted to share them with you - it is the closest I can get to having you round for a cuppa and a chat at the Pink House.

So the wonderful people at Pukka, when they heard about Dreaming Aloud's celebration, wanted to get on board and offer one very lucky reader, a very, special prize...

Read on to find out more...

Firstly, a jar of the truly magical "she who has a hundred husbands" Shatavari - the supreme ayurvedic women's herb (see here for my post on it). I was blown away by the response to this post, so I really wanted a way to share it with you. I only wish I could give you all a jar.

But that's not all! This very lucky reader will also be receiving a YEAR's supply of their glorious teas - 12 boxes of divine Pukka teas - which are organic and fairly traded and blended by expert herbalists - full of yummy goodness and nothing artificial. They are, quite literally, pukka! The prize includes all of my favourites:

Revitalise: (cinnamon, cardamon and ginger) which warms you in every way and sets you up for another few hours of mama-ing.

Harmonise: with exotic rose, vanilla and shatavari to help to to feel the love inside!

Cleanse: with nettle, fennel and peppermint to clear your skin - I also used it to support breastmilk production when I was ill.

Love : With romantic rose and lavender warm the heart, elderflower and chamomile to soothe. Three mint: Great to for the digestion after a big meal.

Lemongrass and ginger: to refresh and revive you.

Green chai : green tea with sweet cinnamon and star anise.

Original chai : black tea with cinnamon and cardamom, lovely served sweet and milky!

Vanilla chai: black tea with cinnamon and sweet vanilla.

Relax: with organic chamomile, fennel & marshmallow root tea - great at bedtime!

Refresh: organic peppermint, fennel & rose tea: to uplift & balance.

Detox: organic aniseed, fennel & cardamom tea: to cleanse & revive.

Can I enter myself??? Unfortunately not! But you can, and this is how...

You can do any, or all of the below... each counts as one entry... but only if you let me know that you have entered (and how!) in the comments box below! (Be sure to check terms and conditions below!)

*"Like" Dreaming Aloud on Facebook if you haven't already
* "Like" my new TheHappyWomb.com Facebook page, if you haven't already
* Visit TheHappyWomb.com and sign up as a follower, so you're right there as this wonderful new resource for women comes to life...
* Tell me your three top Dreaming Aloud posts of the year in the comments box below

* Tell me what you love about Dreaming Aloud and what keeps you coming back for more
* Share this giveaway on your Facebook page
* Share this giveaway on your blog

And as an extra goodie for another lucky reader...

My favourite comment gets a special little Dreaming Aloud selection of Pukka teas in a handcrafted pouch direct from the Pink House!
GOOD LUCK to you all!

Let's all celebrate over a cup of Love, Revitalise or Harmonise! Vist http://www.pukkaherbs.com to check out their wonderful selection of herbal teas and supplements to support you in vibrant health this winter. And if you're interested in ayurveda they have a great online quiz to find your dosha type and get you started in ayurvedic healing.

A little more about Pukka Herbs...

Translated from Hindi to mean ‘authentic’, ‘genuine’ or, more colloquially, ‘top-quality’, ‘Pukka’ epitomises all that we represent – our ethos, ambition and everything we create.

Founders – Sebastian Pole and Tim Westwell – who were brought together by a mutual interest in promoting wellbeing. Sebastian was a qualified practitioner in ayurveda and Chinese and Western herbal medicine and an avid herb grower. Started with little finance, but plenty of passion, we’ve grown Pukka on our beliefs in ayurveda – the ancient Indian art of living wisely – and the incredible health benefits of organic herbs.

As we grow, our reliance on nature increases. With this in mind, we respect our relationship with the land by using herbs from organic and sustainable sources, enjoying long-term and fair-trade bonds with our suppliers. We are proud to say that all our herbs and products are certified organic by the Soil Association and the USDA* and can all be traced back to the field in which they were grown. We make regular visits to the farmers we work with to learn from as well as educate them. Like all relationships, it’s a two-way thing.

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Terms and conditions:
*Giveaway closes 8pm (GMT), Sunday 6th November.
*The Pukka winner will be drawn at random form eligible entries and announced on the blog on Monday 7th November.
*Entrants must be over 18 years old.
* The Pukka giveaway excludes residents of US, Canada and Japan (so sorry, that is the limit of Pukka's delivery policy!). The Pink House goodie bag is open to all!

* The exact contents of the prize may differ due to stock availability at time of dispatch. Pukka will endeavor to ensure it is as similar as possible to the advertised prize.