tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post5891170566015591720..comments2024-01-01T08:07:16.443+00:00Comments on Dreaming aloud: Mama BashingUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-37858450871140210262012-02-16T12:41:33.463+00:002012-02-16T12:41:33.463+00:00Thanks Amys both - delighted you found me too Zen ...Thanks Amys both - delighted you found me too Zen Mummy - you're very welcome here!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08664045557725853106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-32011067634158136192012-02-15T22:51:21.472+00:002012-02-15T22:51:21.472+00:00This is a lovely post, full of kindness and compas...This is a lovely post, full of kindness and compassion. I hate all this 'mummy wars' business ~ I had NO idea they existed until I became a mother myself. And you're right, the internet bashing is vicious, downright nasty at times. <br />'To ask that we see the vulnerable mother before the opinion' ~ absolutely. Because however someone is choosing to parent, I'm pretty sure no-one ever thinks 'I know, I'll make some bad decisions and damage my child'. <br /><br />Lovely blog, really glad to have been introduced to it through the carnival.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-24043519397532990732012-02-15T22:45:35.783+00:002012-02-15T22:45:35.783+00:00I agree and join with you. Oh, we all so need some...I agree and join with you. Oh, we all so need something different than bashing. We have all had moments (and will have) that we grow and learn from; we do not need harshness from one another. We need listening, love.<br /><br />Thank you for speaking up for this, for doing your part, and for feeling deeply enough to write about it. Much love to you and yours. :)Amy Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18394341758645911698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-38562879301435532352012-02-15T16:33:42.812+00:002012-02-15T16:33:42.812+00:00Your point about the comment speaking more about t...Your point about the comment speaking more about the commenter is spot-on. That one thing has helped me really calm down when I get negativity on my blog/FB page - it is not a reflection on me. I completely agree with you - I would love to end all of the mama bashing - we could be so much more productive and supportive by simply living, learning, and supporting each other.Dionna @ Code Name: Mamahttp://codenamemama.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-80399856491068613452012-02-15T15:45:08.346+00:002012-02-15T15:45:08.346+00:00Brilliant piece Blog sister. I know EXACTLY what y...Brilliant piece Blog sister. I know EXACTLY what you mean ;-)<br />xxTreehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02898223372486620281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-61651784682172748982012-02-15T11:31:01.788+00:002012-02-15T11:31:01.788+00:00Yes, what you said! I agree it can get nasty out t...Yes, what you said! I agree it can get nasty out there in Internet Land. I also try to remember (before I type) that the only thing I am sure of is my own experience and my own thoughts. And, I try to imagine the person I'm writing to sitting on my couch drinking coffee with me. Would I say these words to her face? In person? Or am I just plugging my own agenda?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-48273494386005248732012-02-15T08:13:32.776+00:002012-02-15T08:13:32.776+00:00Not cool - but I admire your honesty dearest MF. I...Not cool - but I admire your honesty dearest MF. I totally agree that the lack of other signals doesn't help - and I totally carry round with me the other stories,and comments I have read on line in my life, as real as those that come from friends. <br /><br />You give so much love and energy in your comments which I am in awe of - I'm not great at the old comments myself - I NEVER know what to say, or how to say it...<br /><br />Like now! xxxxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08664045557725853106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-21809885674622492262012-02-15T08:05:13.447+00:002012-02-15T08:05:13.447+00:00I recently had a comment on a post I wrote which f...I recently had a comment on a post I wrote which felt very hurtful because it was from a good friend and out of the blue. She completely misunderstood my intention which was to say that women are stronger than they think, that they have more rights and more power than they think. Away from the blog we have had a heart to heart about some issues that were worrying herr, person-to-person. I can come across pretty feisty in blogland sometimes when in fact, my true nature is much more timid. And when I write with passion on a topic as I recently did about how birth flows in the absence of drugs/ distractions, I felt I could write with authority cos I pretty much copied many ideas from the 'greats' drawing together the essence of what I have read from the books of Kitzinger, Ina May Gaskin, and others. Not massively original. When we channel the ideas of the folks who are at the top of their tree,, it's easy to feel right, cos they have decades of experience - which I do not. I think it's harder to stay calm and not write feisty responses when you think someone is getting the wrong end of the stick, and it can take longer for peaceful resolutions because we don't have other visual cues, touch, eye contact to aid our understanding of each other. The llink list above will make great reading, and I'm sure I would benefit from taking a step back sometimes when I perceive someone in blog land to be too self righteous, so I don't storming in with a 'oh for goodness sake don't be so silly' type comment. 99% of my interactions in the blogosphere are heartfelt offers of sympathy, condolence, love, affection, and I often carry around a persons story that I have heard with an ache in my heart for them if it was something sad. Most transactions online are in a spirit of love, but every now and then if someone really rubs me up the wrong way, I react. Not cool.Motherfunkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10809370449833738968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-17391544756274691122012-02-15T04:52:47.647+00:002012-02-15T04:52:47.647+00:00Ahhh yes. Mama bashing, mama wars, mama face offs....Ahhh yes. Mama bashing, mama wars, mama face offs. It's so dang third grade. It is so embarassing to mothers everywhere. We women should support each other, especially because we know how darn hard it is to do this mama thing.<br /><br />Very insightful, raw post as usual. You got right to the root of the whole judging issue. We judge and scorn that which we dislike in our own lives.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06902150350516852100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-86451998286874775092012-02-14T23:25:23.779+00:002012-02-14T23:25:23.779+00:00I believe that parenting is a hard enough job as i...I believe that parenting is a hard enough job as it is without adding in the mama bashing you speak of. I have found that while I sometimes read things that I disagree with, my rule is that it is not for me to decide what is right for someone else as a mom (unless of course it clearly crosses the line and children are at risk of being abused). <br /><br />Thanks for sharing this post, I think that you hit the nail on the head when you said the bashing says more about the basher than the one being criticized.Petreahttp://www.offbeatfamily.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-61710073493155234352012-02-14T20:19:44.149+00:002012-02-14T20:19:44.149+00:00Thank you all for your insight and wisdom - I was ...Thank you all for your insight and wisdom - I was worried that in writing this I might be attracting some mama-bashing myself for being judgemental! You never know! So I feel heartened by your responses, and glad that I am not alone in my feelings.<br /><br />At the time I didn't realise - but it is apt that this is posted here today - it being V-Day - the day celebrating the global movement of violence against women - check out my post on the "real" meaning of Valentines Day over at my website The Happy Womb. com http://thehappywomb.com/archives/404Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08664045557725853106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-63977391846529967832012-02-14T19:38:28.947+00:002012-02-14T19:38:28.947+00:00It is liberating to move away from conversations o...It is liberating to move away from conversations online that become nasty for no good reason and instead just allow everyone to have whatever feelings/opinions they choose and just be comfortable with my own. There is no benefit to be to raise my blood pressure because someone chooses differently than me because of their own life experiences. All I can do is empathize with their feelings and offer a change in perspective if they are willing to walk with me along my own journey for a moment.FabulousMamaChronicleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00555022025559998636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-69485989122429703542012-02-14T18:36:37.057+00:002012-02-14T18:36:37.057+00:00You're right -- those battles are NASTY. I ha...You're right -- those battles are NASTY. I have been in some knock-down, drag-out internet fights. I always go in with good intentions, thinking I will offer another perspective, maybe tone down something critical someone else said ... and the next thing I know the bombs are flying. It's scary!<br /><br />So my rule now, that you mentioned, is to talk only about ME. My own story is the only story I know. I simply have no idea what brought other people to their choices, and I know for sure there is more to their story than they have room to tell me online. I don't even know what makes the nasty ones get nasty. Perhaps they're hurting inside -- I just don't know. So I try to just walk away from that kind of thing, and go back to my own blog where I tell MY story ... and no one else's.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-89748148970508713352012-02-14T13:22:27.447+00:002012-02-14T13:22:27.447+00:00Your point about the comment speaking more about t...Your point about the comment speaking more about the commenter is spot-on. That one thing has helped me really calm down when I get negativity on my blog/FB page - it is not a reflection on me. I completely agree with you - I would love to end all of the mama bashing - we could be so much more productive and supportive by simply living, learning, and supporting each other.Dionna @ Code Name: Mamahttp://codenamemama.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-4222633446420413252012-02-14T10:55:06.473+00:002012-02-14T10:55:06.473+00:00I breathe this wish with you. It is so hurtful to ...I breathe this wish with you. It is so hurtful to see the vitriol that exists sometimes in the anonymous atmosphere of the internet. I so appreciate it when we see each other as people first and foremost, and connect with each other in a human-to-human way.Lauren Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07500733577920040395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8935975561680117519.post-70675233464214831162012-02-14T10:22:49.322+00:002012-02-14T10:22:49.322+00:00What an inspiring post! I agree with you on "...What an inspiring post! I agree with you on "Because in the end, I do not have certainty. I cannot know that my choices are better than yours. But I can share my journey and how I have come to my choices."<br /><br />That's what I do to when other mummies wrote in to ask me questions. I can't tell them what I do is right but what I do is share with my opinions and experiences and why we do it.I'm a full-time mummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08500868058094898354noreply@blogger.com